The Host (24 page)

Attacked,
Melanie scoffed.

I yawned.
I wasn't actually thinking of you,
I told her.
I was thinking of these unstable emotions,
always betraying me. But you did attack me. Pushing your memories on me that way.

I learned my lesson,
she assured me dryly. I could feel how intensely aware she was of the hand in mine. There was an emotion slowly building in her that I didn't recognize. Something on the edge of anger, with a hint of desire and a portion of despair.

Jealousy,
she enlightened me.

Jeb yawned again. “I'm being downright rude, I guess. You must be bushed–walking all over today and then me keepin' you up half the night talking. Ought to be a better host. C'mon, Jamie, let's go and let Wanda get some sleep.”

I was exhausted. It felt as if it had been a very long day, and, from Jeb's words, perhaps that wasn't in my imagination.

“Okay, Uncle Jeb.” Jamie jumped lightly to his feet and then offered his hand to the old man.

“Thanks, kid.” Jeb groaned as he got up. “And thanks to you, too,” he added in my direction.

“Most interesting conversation I've had in… well, probably forever. Rest your voice up, Wanda, because my curiosity is a powerful thing. Ah, there he is! 'Bout time.” Only then did I hear the sound of approaching footsteps. Automatically, I shrank against the wall and scooted farther back into the cave-room, and then felt more exposed because the moonlight was brighter inside.

I was surprised that this was the first person to turn in for the night; the corridor appeared to house many.

“Sorry, Jeb. I got to talking with Sharon, and then I sort of dozed off.” It was impossible not to recognize this easy, gentle voice. My stomach rolled, unstable, and I wished it were empty.

“We didn't even notice, Doc,” Jeb said. “We were having the time of our lives here. Someday you'll have to get her to tell you some of her stories–great stuff. Not tonight, though. She's got to be pretty worn out, I'd bet. We'll see you in the morning.” The doctor was spreading a mat out in front of the cave entrance, just as Jared had.

“Keep an eye on this,” Jeb said, laying the gun beside the mat.

“Are you okay, Wanda?” Jamie asked. “You're shaking.”

I hadn't realized it, but my whole body was quivering. I didn't answer him–my throat felt swollen shut.

“Now, now,” Jeb said in a soothing voice. “I asked Doc if he minded taking a shift. You don't need to worry about anything. Doc's an honorable man.”

The doctor smiled a sleepy smile. “I'm not going to hurt you… Wanda, is it? I promise. I'll just keep watch while you sleep.”

I bit my lip, and the quivering didn't stop.

Jeb seemed to think everything was settled, though. “Night, Wanda. Night, Doc,” he said as he started back down the hall.

Jamie hesitated, looking at me with a worried expression. “Doc's okay,” he promised in a whisper.

“C'mon, boy, it's late!”

Jamie hurried off after Jeb.

I watched the doctor when they were gone, waiting for some change. Doc's relaxed expression didn't waver, though, and he didn't touch the gun. He stretched his long frame out on the mat, his calves and feet hanging off the end. Lying down, he looked much smaller, he was so rail thin.

“Good night,” he murmured drowsily.

Of course I didn't answer. I watched him in the dull moonlight, timing the rise and fall of his chest by the sound of the pulse thudding in my ears. His breathing slowed and got deeper, and then he began to quietly snore.

It could have been an act, but even if it was, there wasn't much I could do about it. Silently, I crept deeper into the room, till I felt the edge of the mattress against my back. I'd promised myself that I would not disturb this place, but it probably wouldn't hurt anything if I just curled up on the foot of the bed. The floor was rough and so hard.

The sound of the doctor's soft snoring was comforting; even if it was put on to calm me, at least I knew exactly where he was in the darkness.

Live or die, I figured I might as well go ahead and sleep. I was dog tired, as Melanie would say.

I let my eyes close. The mattress was softer than anything I'd touched since coming here. I relaxed, sinking in…

There was a low shuffling sound–it was inside the room with me. My eyes popped open, and I could see a shadow between the moonlit ceiling and me. Outside, the doctor's snores continued uninterrupted.

The shadow was huge and misshapen. It loomed over me, top-heavy, swinging closer to my face.

I think I meant to scream, but the sound got trapped in my throat, and all that came out was a breathless squeak.

“Shh, it's just me,” Jamie whispered. Something bulky and roundish rolled from his shoulders and plopped softly to the floor. When it was gone I could see his true, lithe shadow against the moonlight.

I caught a few gasps of air, my hand clutching at my throat.

“Sorry,” he whispered, sitting down on the edge of the mattress. “I guess that was pretty stupid. I was trying not to wake Doc–I didn't even think how I would scare you. You okay?” He patted my ankle, which was the part of me closest to him.

“Sure,” I huffed, still breathless.

“Sorry,” he muttered again.

“What are you doing here, Jamie? Shouldn't you be asleep?”

“That's why I'm here. Uncle Jeb was snoring like you wouldn't believe. I couldn't stand it anymore.”

His answer didn't make sense to me. “Don't you usually sleep with Jeb?” Jamie yawned and bent to untie the bulky bedroll he'd dropped to the floor. “No, I usually sleep with Jared. He doesn't snore. But you know that.”

I did.

“Why don't you sleep in Jared's room, then? Are you afraid to sleep alone?” I wouldn't have blamed him for that. It seemed like I was constantly terrified here.

“Afraid,” he grumbled, offended. “No. This
is
Jared's room. And mine.”

“What?” I gasped. “Jeb put me in Jared's room?”

I couldn't believe it. Jared would kill me. No, he would kill Jeb first, and
then
he would kill me.

“It's my room, too. And I told Jeb you could have it.”

“Jared will be furious,” I whispered.

“I can do what I want with my room,” Jamie muttered rebelliously, but then he bit his lip. “We won't tell him. He doesn't have to know.”

I nodded. “Good idea.”

“You don't mind if I sleep in here, do you? Uncle Jeb's really loud.”

“No,
I
don't mind. But Jamie, I don't think you should.” He frowned, trying to be tough instead of hurt. “Why not?”

“Because it's not safe. Sometimes people come looking for me at night.” His eyes went wide. “They do?”

“Jared always had the gun–they went away.”

“Who?”

“I don't know–Kyle sometimes. But there are surely others who are still here.” He nodded. “All the more reason why I should stay. Doc might need help.”

“Jamie –”

“I'm not a kid, Wanda. I can take care of myself.”

Obviously, arguing was only going to make him more stubborn. “At least take the bed,” I said, surrendering. “I'll sleep on the floor. It's your room.”

“That's not right. You're the guest.”

I snorted quietly. “Ha. No, the bed is yours.”

“No way.” He lay down on the mat, folding his arms tightly across his chest.

Again, I saw that arguing was the wrong approach to take with Jamie. Well, this one I could rectify as soon as he was asleep. Jamie slept so deeply it was almost a coma. Melanie could carry him anywhere once he was out.

“You can use my pillow,” he told me, patting the one next to the side where he lay. “You don't need to scrunch up at the bottom there.”

I sighed but crawled to the top of the bed.

“That's right,” he said approvingly. “Now, could you throw me Jared's?” I hesitated, about to reach for the pillow under my head; he jumped up, leaned over me, and snatched the other pillow. I sighed again.

We lay in silence for a while, listening to the low whistle of the doctor's breathing.

“Doc has a nice snore, doesn't he?” Jamie whispered.

“It won't keep you up,” I agreed.

“You tired?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

I waited for him to say something more, but he was quiet.

“Was there something you wanted?” I asked.

He didn't answer right away, but I could feel him struggling, so I waited.

“If I asked you something, would you tell me the truth?”

It was my turn to hesitate. “I don't know everything,” I hedged.

“You would know this. When we were walking… me and Jeb… he was telling me some things. Things he thought, but I don't know if he's right.” Melanie was suddenly very
there
in my head.

Jamie's whisper was hard to hear, quieter than my breathing. “Uncle Jeb thinks that Melanie might still be alive. Inside there with you, I mean.”

My Jamie.
Melanie sighed.

I said nothing to either of them.

“I didn't know that could happen. Does that happen?” His voice broke, and I could hear that he was fighting tears. He was not a boy to cry, and here I'd grieved him this deeply twice in one day. A pain pierced through the general region of my chest.

“Does it, Wanda?”

Tell him. Please tell him that I love him.

“Why won't you answer me?” Jamie was really crying now but trying to muffle the sound.

I crawled off the bed, squeezing into the hard space between the mattress and the mat, and threw my arm over his shaking chest. I leaned my head against his hair and felt his tears, warm on my neck.

“Is Melanie still alive, Wanda? Please?”

He was probably a tool. The old man could have sent him just for this; Jeb was smart enough to see how easily Jamie broke through my defenses. It was possible that Jeb was seeking confirmation for his theory, and he wasn't against using the boy to get it. What would Jeb do when he was certain of the dangerous truth? How would he use the information? I didn't think he meant me harm, but could I trust my own judgment? Humans were deceitful, treacherous creatures. I couldn't anticipate their darker agendas when such things were unthinkable to my species.

Jamie's body shook beside me.

He's suffering,
Melanie cried. She battered ineffectually at my control.

But I couldn't blame this on Melanie if it turned out to be a huge mistake. I knew who was speaking now.

“She promised she would come back, didn't she?” I murmured. “Would Melanie break a promise to you?”

Jamie slid his arms around my waist and clung to me for a long time. After a few minutes, he whispered, “Love you, Mel.”

“She loves you, too. She's so happy that you're here and safe.” He was silent long enough for the tears on my skin to dry, leaving a fine, salty dust behind.

“Is everybody like that?” Jamie whispered long after I thought he'd fallen asleep. “Does everybody stay?”

“No,” I told him sadly. “No. Melanie is special.”

“She's strong and brave.”

“Very.”

“Do you think…” He paused to sniff. “Do you think that maybe Dad is still there, too?” I swallowed, trying to move the lump farther down my throat. It didn't work. “No, Jamie. No, I don't think so. Not like Melanie is.”

“Why?”

“Because he brought the Seekers looking for you. Well, the soul inside him did. Your father wouldn't have let that happen if he were still there. Your sister never let me see where the cabin was–she didn't even let me know that you existed for the longest time. She didn't bring me here until she was sure that I wouldn't hurt you.”

It was too much information. Only as I finished speaking did I realize that the doctor wasn't snoring anymore. I could hear no noise from his breathing. Stupid. I cursed myself internally.

“Wow,” Jamie said.

I whispered into his ear, so close that there was no way the doctor could possibly overhear.

“Yes, she's very strong.”

Jamie strained to hear me, frowning, and then glanced at the opening to the dark hall. He must have realized the same thing I had, because he turned his face to my ear and whispered back softer than before. “Why would you do that? Not hurt us? Isn't that what you want?”

“No. I don't want to hurt you.”

“Why?”

“Your sister and I have… spent a lot of time together. She shared you with me. And… I started to… to love you, too.”

“And Jared, too?”

I gritted my teeth for a second, chagrined that he had made the connection so easily. “Of course I don't want anything to hurt Jared, either.”

“He hates you,” Jamie told me, plainly grieved by the fact.

“Yes. Everyone does.” I sighed. “I can't blame them.”

“Jeb doesn't. And I don't.”

“You might, after you think about it more.”

“But you weren't even here when they took over. You didn't pick my dad or my mom or Melanie. You were in outer space then, right?”

“Yes, but I am what I am, Jamie. I did what souls do. I've had many hosts before Melanie, and nothing's stopped me from… taking lives. Again and again. It's how I live.”

“Does Melanie hate you?”

I thought for a minute. “Not as much as she used to.”

No. I don't hate you at all. Not anymore.

“She says she doesn't hate me at all anymore,” I murmured almost silently.

“How… how is she?”

“She's happy to be here. She's so happy to see you. She doesn't even care that they're going to kill us.”

Jamie stiffened under my arm. “They can't! Not if Mel's still alive!”
You've upset him,
Melanie complained.
You didn't have to say that.

It won't be any easier for him if he's unprepared.

“They won't believe that, Jamie,” I whispered. “They'll think I'm lying to trick you. They'll just want to kill me more if you tell them that. Only Seekers lie.” The word made him shudder.

“But you're not lying. I know it,” he said after a moment.

I shrugged.

“I won't let them kill her.”

His voice, though quiet as a breath, was fierce with determination. I was paralyzed at the thought of him becoming more involved with this situation, with me. I thought of the barbarians he lived with. Would his age protect him from them if he tried to protect me? I doubted it. My thoughts scrambled, searching for some way to dissuade him without triggering his stubbornness.

Jamie spoke before I could say anything; he was suddenly calm, as if the answer was plain in front of him. “Jared will think of something. He always does.”

“Jared won't believe you, either. He'll be the angriest of them all.”

“Even if he doesn't believe it, he'll protect her. Just in case.”

“We'll see,” I muttered. I'd find the perfect words later–the argument that would not sound like an argument.

Jamie was quiet, thinking. Eventually, his breathing got slower, and his mouth fell open. I waited until I was sure he was deeply under, and then I crawled over him and very carefully shifted him from the floor to the bed. He was heavier than before, but I managed. He didn't wake.

I put Jared's pillow back where it belonged, and then stretched out on the mat.

Well,
I thought,
I just hurled myself out of the frying pan.
But I was too tired to care what this would mean tomorrow. Within seconds, I was unconscious.

When I woke, the crevices in the ceiling were bright with echoed sunlight, and someone was whistling.

The whistling stopped.

“Finally,” Jeb muttered when my eyes fluttered.

I rolled onto my side so that I could look at him; as I moved, Jamie's hand slid from my arm.

Sometime in the night he must have reached out to me–well, not to me, to his sister.

Jeb was leaning against the natural rock door frame, his arms folded across his chest.

“Morning,” he said. “Get enough sleep?”

I stretched, decided that I felt acceptably rested, and then nodded.

“Oh, don't give me the silent treatment again,” he complained, scowling.

“Sorry,” I murmured. “I slept well, thank you.”

Jamie stirred at the sound of my voice.

“Wanda?” he asked.

I was ridiculously touched that it was my silly nickname that he spoke on the edge of sleep.

“Yes?”

Jamie blinked and pulled his tangled hair out of his eyes. “Oh, hey, Uncle Jeb.”

“My room not good enough for you, kid?”

“You snore real loud,” Jamie said, and then yawned.

“Haven't I taught you anything?” Jeb asked him. “Since when do you let a guest and a lady sleep on the floor?”

Jamie sat up suddenly, staring around, disoriented. He frowned.

“Don't upset him,” I told Jeb. “He insisted on taking the mat. I moved him when he was asleep.”

Jamie snorted. “Mell always used to do that, too.”

I widened my eyes slightly at him, trying to convey a warning.

Jeb chuckled. I looked up at him, and he had that same pouncing-cat expression he'd had yesterday. The solved-puzzle expression. He walked over and kicked the edge of the mattress.

“You've already missed your morning class. Sharon's bound to be testy about that, so get a move on.”

“Sharon is
always
testy,” Jamie complained, but he got to his feet quickly.

“On your way, boy.”

Jamie looked at me again, then he turned and disappeared into the hall.

“Now,” Jeb said as soon as we were alone. “I think all this baby-sitting nonsense has gone on long enough. I'm a busy man. Everyone is busy here–too busy to sit around playin' guard. So today you're going to have to come along with me while I get my chores done.” I felt my mouth pop open.

He stared at me, no smile.

“Don't look so terrified,” he grumbled. “You'll be fine.” He patted his gun. “My house is no place for babies.”

I couldn't argue with
that.
I took three quick, deep breaths, trying to steady my nerves. Blood pulsed so loudly in my ears that his voice seemed quiet in comparison when he spoke again.

“C'mon, Wanda. Day's wasting.”

He turned and stomped out of the room.

I was frozen for a moment, and then I lurched out after him. He wasn't bluffing–he was already invisible around the first corner. I raced after him, horrified by the thought that I might run into someone else in this obviously inhabited wing. I caught up to him before he reached the big intersection of the tunnels. He didn't even look at me as I slowed beside him to match his pace.

“'Bout time that northeast field was planted. We'll have to work the soil first. Hope you don't mind getting your hands dirty. After we're done, I'll see that you get a chance to clean yourself up. You need it.” He sniffed pointedly, then laughed.