The Hollow (31 page)

I looked at him incredulously. "What?"

"Take my hand," he said again.

I sighed and reached out to touch him. But my fingers slipped right through. I backed up, out into the rain, horrified.

"What did you do?" I screeched, dancing perilously close to the edge of hysterics. "Why did you do that?"

"That's how it is, Abbey," he said. "That's just how it is."

Now I was shaking my head frantically, back and forth. It felt like I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Something was broken in my head; some sort of wire was messed up.

"What about that night in my room?" I demanded, trying to cling to some small thread of sanity. "You touched my face. And at the library I held your hand. And
kissed
you. And you kissed me back, damn it. So do whatever you did then now." I was sailing beyond hysterical breakdown, clear on through to pissed off and angry.

He walked closer to me, until he was just under the edge of the bridge. "I can't do it again, Abbey. That's why I've stayed away from you. It was only for a day. That day specifically."

I stepped back under the safety of the bridge. "Do it again," I said. "Let me see you do it again." I held out my hand, and he positioned his arm directly above it.

Then he swung down.

My eyes boggled and jumped out of my skull as I watched his entire arm pass through mine. Then he brought it up and did it again.

I only felt the barest wisp of a tingle each time he passed through me.

"Enough," I gasped, bending over to put my hands on my head. It was throbbing, and that same explosion of feeling was happening at the base of my neck again.

"Now do you see, Abbey?" Caspian asked. "Do you understand why I had to stay away?"

My head exploded, sending a temporary dark spot over my left eyeball. When it cleared, I stumbled to my feet and backed out into the rain again. Holding both arms out in front of me, I used them as a shield to ward him off.

Then the pain to my heart came.

It was a brutal searing pain, so strong that it made me drop to my knees and wretch. Heaving again, and again, I vomited until there wasn't anything left, my body shuddering and convulsing. When the worst of it had passed, I crawled to the edge of the river. Paying no attention to my clothes, or the brackish taste in my mouth, I dipped into that cool, rushing water and gargled.

Soft noises behind me told me that Caspian had followed me out, but he hung back. I gathered my heavy sodden hair into one hand and twisted it to the side before getting to my feet. I was completely soaked, but I didn't pay any attention to it.

"Just tell me one thing," I whispered through a sore throat as I turned to face him. Tears spilled out, and I struggled to regain my

composure. "That night in my room, and the next day at the library… were you-were you going to tell me that you love me?"

He shook his head, but didn't answer. I waited. And looked deeply into his eyes.

"At least give me the dignity of an answer, Caspian," I cried when several minutes had passed. "You owe me that much."

He looked away, and then back at me again. When he spoke, each word was heavy and full of agony, as if they were being pulled from the very depths of his soul. "Of course I don't love you, Abbey. I don't have a soul. I don't know what this feeling is, but it's not love. It
can't
be."

"But I… love you," I said brokenly.

And with that confession I turned my back to him and walked away.

Epilogue

I walked calmly, slowly toward Nikolas and Katrina's house with only one thought it mind. I must have hit my knee on a rock when Pd fallen in the rain, because each step was agony. Shooting pain radiated up from my kneecap, and I started to favor it, adopting a limping gait.

Every breath that I took along the way felt like sandpaper sawing away at my lungs, and I couldn't stop myself from crying. After a while there simply weren't any more tears left, and my body just sort of shuddered every now and then. But still I limped on.

When their door finally came into view and I had made my way up to it, I banged for all I was worth. I didn't stop, but just kept onbanging. Nikolas was the one to answer.

"Just tell me one thing," I said hoarsely while he stood in front of me. "Just one thing. How did you know about Caspian if he didn't know about you?"

Nikolas opened his mouth to speak, but Katrina stepped up next to him and put her hand on his arm.

"We saw the black streak in his hair, dear. It marks him as one of us-a Shade."

I put up my hands to cover my ears. I didn't want to hear their words. "So, what?" I cried. "He's a ghost, you're a ghost…Is Kristen a ghost too? Is she hiding somewhere around here? Where is she? Tell me! I need to see her again."

Nikolas reached out for me, but I took a step back.

"I am very sorry to add to your pain, Abbey," he said, "but Kristen is not one of us. She truly is dead. I saw her, but I could not help her."

His words didn't make any sense, but I shook my head and turned away to go back to the path once more. I couldn't stay and ask them to explain it all. Nothing made sense anymore.

Inspiration hit while I was limping my way out of the forest, and I pulled out my cell phone to check the time. It was 5:11. I could still make it.

Forcing my weak knee to bear my weight, I picked up mypace to a slow jog. Eighteen minutes later, I found myself panting for breath on the library steps. After checking the time on my phone once again, I opened the door and headed straight for the front desk.

"I need to look up some White Plains newspapers. From two and a half years ago, right after Halloween." I blurted out.

Mrs. Walker was on duty, and she looked at me with concerned eyes. "Abbey, are you okay? Do you need to use the first aid kit or anything?"

I glanced down at myself. I was a total mess. "Oh, no, Mrs. Walker. Fm okay." The lie rolled off my tongue easily. "I just remembered a last-minute school project, so I ran to get here in time before you closed. I tripped on the way, and then it started to rain, and… Well, I just really need to see those newspapers."

She reluctantly agreed and led me to a smaller computer room in the back of the library.

"Every newspaper article from the surrounding five counties is archived online here," she told me before leaving. "Just put in your search perimeters and hit enter. And if you need anything,
anything at all,
you let me know."

She gave me a stern glare, and I nodded meekly. Once I heard the door shut behind her, I took a seat and typed in "White Plains Ledger November 1 to November 3."

I found what I was looking for in the November 2 issue, on page C-1.

Evening Edition

A local Sleepy Hollow boy was pronounced dead on the scene earlier today, in a fatal car crash. Caspian Vander, a recent graduate of White Plains High School…

A loud buzzing sound filled my ears, and I stopped reading. In the November 3 edition, they had his obituary with a fuzzy black-and-white picture of him. I recognized the black streak right away…

I was still staring at the screen an hour later when Mrs. Walker found me rocking myself back and forth. She called my parents and stayed with me, talking softly, until Dad came to pick me up. He didn't ask me what was wrong, or why I was acting like a complete nut job, but carefully helped me down the stairs and into the car.

Right before we made the final turn toward home, he paused at a stop sign for an extra minute and waited.

He didn't have to say anything. I knew what he wanted.

"I need help, Dad," I whispered, turning to him. "I can't deal with-" My voice broke. "I think I just need some help right now."

He nodded once and put an arm around my shoulder. "I'll take care of it."

I withdrew, curling myself up into a tiny ball huddled in the far corner of the seat, and rocked back and forth slightly until we arrived home. Dad helped me inside the house, and Mom led mestraight up to my room. She rucked me into bed like she used to when I was younger, and I fell asleep quickly. It was a blissful relief to escape from the real world, even if it was only for a little while.

In my dream, the rain was falling all around me, but I stayed under the protection of a tall tree. As soon as each drop hit, tiny blue flowers immediately sprang up, and the ground was awash in a profusion of blossoms.

Kristen came gliding up the path, and the flowers parted for her, guiding the way. She was wearing a red cloak with a hood that hid her face. When she knelt in front of the tombstone and laid her fingers upon it, the raindrops froze, turning to hard pellets of ice that struck with a harsh pinging sound.

The flowers withered, and browned, dying in front of my very eyes.

I wanted to say something to her, yet I didn 't know what. I tried to take a step out from under that tree, but I couldn 't. My feet were rooted to the ground.

It was only then that I could see the letters spelling out her name as she traced each one. Over and over again she followed those etched words on that stone. Over and over again I tried to speak.

But I was mute.

Suddenly
…
the ice stopped. The flowers bloomed again.

And Kristen turned to me.

''Don't worry, Abbey," she said. "I'll still be here when you get back. I'll always be here."

Special arrangements were made over the next week for me to leave school early, and all of the teachers agreed to give me my assignments for the rest of the school year to take with me. It had been decided that I would go stay with Aunt Marjorie and spend some time away from Sleepy Hollow due to "health reasons."

I think Dad was relieved I'd finally asked him for help, and he went out of his way to make sure that I would be seeing the best psychiatrist in the tristate region. All it required on my part was a session twice a week for the next four months, and I'd be back in time for summer vacation with no one the wiser.

That part relieved Mom.

As far as I was concerned, I was willing to do whatever it took to fix what had gone wrong inside my brain. I didn't care if that involved a psychiatrist, a psychic healer, or a voodoo priestess. All I wanted was to be sane again.

When the morning that I was scheduled to leave home came, I found myself in a daze. I walked out to the car stiffly, and climbed in. Everything around me felt surreal, like I was disconnected.

I asked Dad to stop at the cemetery before we left town, and he agreed, keeping watch from the car when we got there. Pausing fora moment at the entrance gates, I let my hand rest on the cold metal and turned back. "I'll be right back. Thanks for waiting, Dad." He nodded once, and I turned toward my destination.

I walked solemnly most of the way there, but my determination gave in when I reached the stone steps, and I flung myself up them. After pushing through the gate, I dropped to my knees in front of Washington living's marker.

"I'm leaving." It was blunt, and to the point. The only way I knew how to get all the words out. "Things are just… too much for me to handle right now, and I have to leave for a while."

Reaching out a hand to touch the carved dates, I forced myself to go on. "I'll come back. It's not forever. But I need some time to get myself fixed." I laughed quietly. "You wouldn't believe the head trip I've been on the last couple of weeks."

I stood up. "You know," I said thoughtfully, "you're the one person in my life who's the most real to me… and you're dead. That's funny."

I left the graveyard behind me. I got back into the car, and Dad pulled away from Sleepy Hollow. I guess I
should
have been thinking about all I was leaving behind. Or the fact that I was possibly in the middle of a nervous breakdown. And how I was going to see a professional because my problems were so huge that I couldn't sort them out myself.

Yet all I could think of was that red hair-dyeing incident with Kristen…

It was funny.