The Happiest Season (18 page)

After they had filled their plates, Maggie sat down to eat. 
John bit into the meatloaf and his eyes widened with surprise.  “This is
great!” he enthused.

“Thank you.”

“Mama makes good meatloaf,” Rickey told him.  “She uses a
secret ingredient.”

“Oh, yeah?” John said, leaning forward and arching his brows. 
“What is it?”

“If I tell you, it won’t be secret,” Maggie pointed out.

John laughed.  “Well, since I don’t know the secret
ingredient, I can’t make it for myself.  So I guess…”

“You’ll just have to come here to eat mama’s meatloaf!” Rickey
cried happily.

“I guess you’re right,” John said, smiling at the earnest
little boy.  He turned back to Maggie, and a silent communication passed
between them.  She smiled, still marveling that she felt something for John,
when no one save Shane had ever made her heart quicken.

Rickey spoke up, commanding his attention again.  “If it
snows on Christmas day, will you make a snowman with me?”

John smiled uneasily, since Maggie hadn’t mentioned spending
Christmas day together.  They’d talked about Christmas Eve, but… 

To his surprise, she smiled.  “Do you … have any plans for
Christmas day?  We plan on staying home, but you’re welcome to join us.”

He searched her face, hoping she hadn’t felt coerced to
extend the invitation because Rickey had brought it up.  “Are you sure I won’t
be intruding?”

“No!” Rickey cried, and then frowned.  “What does
in-trud-ing mean?”

“It means I might be in the way,” John said with a smile.

Rickey gasped in surprise and said sincerely, “You could
never get in the way, John!”

A wide smile spanned John’s face and he reached over and
tousled Rickey’s hair.  “Well, it’s nice of you to say so.”  He glanced over at
Maggie again and smiled.  She could see he was touched by Rickey’s obvious
affection for him. 

“Will you come?” Rickey persisted.

John turned back to Maggie again and she gave a slight nod.

“Okay then.  If you’re sure.”

Clearly pleased John would be joining them for the holiday,
Rickey began chattering about his plans for both the day—and for John.

“I bet you can’t wait for Santa to come,” John said.

Rickey appeared to deflate before his eyes.  “I don’t
believe in Santa,” he said glumly.  “Santa is for babies.”

John was surprised to hear that the little boy no longer
believed in the jolly old elf.  He was only five.  When he glanced over at
Maggie, he could see the concern on her face.  He abruptly changed the
subject.  “Rickey, about this snowman you want to make…  What do you intend to
use for the eyes, nose, and mouth?”

Rickey perked right up and began discussing his plans for
the snowman he was determined to build.  John gave him his rapt attention as he
talked animatedly until dinner ended.

“Honey, run upstairs and get Pocomo.  He needs to go
outside.  I think he’s laying on my bed.”

“Okay, Mama!”  He rose from his chair and turned to go.  He
abruptly paused and turned back, noting John was rising from his chair.  “Are
you leaving, John?”

“I’m afraid I have to,” he said.

Rickey rounded the table and threw his arms around him.  “Be
careful at work, okay.”  He suddenly frowned.  “Your job is really dangerous,
huh?”  He grew quiet, lost in thought for a moment.   “Even more dangerous
than…”  His words trailed off, his voice barely a whisper.

Maggie’s heart broke for her little boy.  She knew he was
remembering his father.

John understood as well, and he bent down and lifted the
little boy into his arms. 

Rickey wrapped his arms around his neck.  “Be careful at
work.  Okay?” he whispered.

John squeezed him tight.  “I’m always careful,” he whispered
back.  “And you sleep good tonight.  Okay?”  

Rickey pulled back and smiled into John’s face.  “I’d sleep
better if I had a lamb…”

John chuckled and settled him on his feet.  “I’ll see you
later.”

Rickey grinned and charged up the stairs to retrieve the
dog.  Maggie walked John to the door.  There, he gathered Maggie into his
arms.  “Your husband died around this time of year, didn’t he?”

She nodded without speaking.

“And that’s why Rickey doesn’t believe in Santa Claus?”

“He believes Santa let him down…”

“In a big way,” John finished for her.

“This is supposed to be the happiest season of all, but when
you lose a loved one during the holiday…”  She shrugged and sighed sadly.

“It forever taints the time of year,” he finished with
understanding, and then pulled back and looked into her eyes.  “Let’s try to
make the holiday especially festive for Rickey.  Let’s try to replace the sad
memories with happy ones.  He was only three…”  He words dropped off, as it
occurred to him that Rickey wasn’t the only one suffering from sad memories.  He
pulled Maggie into a hug again.

“You’re right,” she said resolutely, as she stepped away
from him and met his gaze.  “It’s time to make happy memories again.”

John smiled and kissed her gently on the lips.  “I want to
be part of those memories,” he said, knowing with his whole heart that the
words he’d spoken were true.  He wanted a future with Maggie and her son.  In a
short span of time, he’d fallen in love with both of them.

If only they could fall in love with him too.  If only he
could show them they could count on him.

“May I call you later?” he asked.

“Please,” she said. 

***

“What are you doing, son?” Maggie called. 

Rickey was standing at the sliding glass door, with his nose
pressed against it.  He’d pulled the drape back, and she could feel the cold
permeating the glass.

“I’m looking for a camel, or a donkey, or a lamb,” he told
her.

“Honey, I think they’ve got the animals pretty well
corralled now.  I don’t think any other animals are coming.  So please close
the drape.  It’s so cold outside.”

Rickey stepped away from the window and the insulated drape
fell into place.  He gave a sigh.  “I just wish the animals would come back.  I
miss them.”

“Honey, the only animal we need is Pocomo.”

When he heard his name, the Chihuahua thumped his tail. 
Rickey crossed the room and sat down beside him.  Distractedly, he began
petting the little dog.

“Is something on your mind, honey?” Maggie asked.  She
walked into the family room and sat down beside him.  She took his little
hand.  “Well?”

He gave a fatigued sigh.  “I’ve been thinking a lot about
Daddy,” he told her.

Maggie’s heart gave a thump and she braced for what was
coming.  Rickey was only five, but she knew he’d been thinking a lot about his
father.  She’d found a picture of the two of them, normally kept on his bedside
table, under his pillow.  “What about Daddy?” she prompted.

He frowned worriedly.  “Mama, will Daddy’s feelings be hurt
if we...?”

“What, honey?”

He sighed.  “Mama, I like John a lot.  Sometimes I think…”

“What, sweetie?”

“I think I’d like it if he was my daddy.  Is it wrong to
think like that?”

Maggie reached for him and pulled him into her arms.  “No,
honey, it’s natural that you miss your father.”

“No, but…  I mean, it’s more than that.   I love John a
lot.  Would Daddy be sad if he knew that I love John too?”

Maggie sagged in the chair.  She knew Rickey cared about
John.  She knew that he idolized him and that he talked about him constantly. 
She wondered—had she made a mistake letting Rickey get so close to him so soon?

She had to acknowledge she hadn’t sought to know John, but
that he’d appeared in their lives.  Had she been seeking a relationship, and
been attuned to the natural progression of a relationship, she would have
protected Rickey better.  She wouldn’t have introduced him to any love interest
until she deemed the timing right.

Maybe this was all too much for Rickey.  Maybe she should
slow things down a bit, for his sake.  “Maybe we shouldn’t see so much of
John,” she mused under her breath.

She hadn’t realized she’d said the words aloud, until Rickey
cried, “Mama, no!  Please don’t send him away.  I love him!  And he loves us!”

“Honey…”

He leapt from the sofa.  “I prayed for him, and God sent
him!”  He shook his head abruptly, as if warding off the idea of losing John. 
“No, Mama.  You don’t mess with God’s plan.  He sent him to us…”

“Rickey…”

The little boy charged up the stairs and Maggie heard his
door slam behind him.   She rose and began walking slowly up the stairs.

What had she done?  She’d let a man into their lives.  And
if things didn’t work out between her and John—and did she even want them
to?—Rickey was going to be devastated.

“I figured you’d be spending the day with John,” Gloria
said. 

It was Saturday, and she and Maggie were presently sitting
at a table in a popular fast food restaurant.  They were beside an expansive
window that afforded a view of the massive, undercover play structure nearby.

“I’m spending part of tomorrow with him,” she said.

“Oh, that’s right.  Are you sure you don’t need a sitter? 
Justin is spending the night, and he and Rickey get along famously.”  By way of
demonstration, she pointed out the window at the two boys, who were chasing one
another around the structure.

“I love you for offering, but he’s going over to a friend’s
house for a few hours.”

Gloria nodded.  “You seem glum,” she observed.  “What’s on
your mind?”

“I’m worried about Rickey.  He’s so taken with John…”

Gloria wrinkled her face.  “And … this is a problem…how?”

Maggie sighed, and followed by taking a deep breath.  “The
other night, he asked me if it’s okay to love John?  He also asked me if I
thought his dad would be hurt that he loves John?”

Gloria shrugged.  “He’s a bright, sensitive little boy. 
He’s just trying to work things out in his own mind.”

“But…”  Maggie sighed again.  “I’m afraid this—this thing
with John—sort of took us by surprise.”

“Well, he did come into your lives via a call to the police
department,” Gloria said drolly.

“I know, and because he sort of took us off guard, I didn’t
proceed with caution, as I would have otherwise.”

Gloria scoffed.  “You are the poster child for caution, my
dear.  You haven’t jumped into anything.”  She narrowed her eyes and leveled them
on her friend.  “Maggie, sometimes, life has a way of taking us by surprise.”

“I know that better than anyone,” she said sadly.

“But honey, you can’t choreograph life.  You can’t wake up
one day and announce, ‘I’m ready for a relationship’ and expect Prince Charming
to appear.  Honey, I’m afraid Officer Charming has already appeared, and you’re
railing because you didn’t choose the timing of his arrival.”  Gloria fixed her
with a gaze.  “Did you ever think God might have a plan for you, my friend?”

Maggie sat silently for several seconds.  “Rickey told me he
prayed to God and that God sent him.”

“Well, there you go!” Gloria cried.  “God sent him.”

“But I’m not ready,” she moaned, and dropped her head onto
her arms.

“Who says?”

She raised her head slightly.  “Me.”

“From what I’ve observed, and from Rickey’s response to the
man—not to mention yours,” she added pointedly, “I think you are ready.”

“…So, have you finished all your Christmas shopping?” Maggie
asked.

Gloria scowled.  “That was the most pathetic ‘change of
subject’ attempt I’ve ever heard,” she said in a surly tone.  “But, okay, I get
it.  You don’t want to discuss your love life any longer.  So, yes, I’m done
shopping.  You?”

“Except…”

“You’re supposed to go shopping with John tomorrow.”

“I’m pretty crummy at changing subjects,” Maggie
acknowledged.  “About shopping with him, I should cancel.”

“No, you shouldn’t,” Gloria said in measured tones. 
“Maggie, please.  Give him a chance.  I agree with you that you need to take
things slow.  So take things slow.  But don’t eject John from your world.  If
you do, I’m afraid you may end up regretting it.”

“Regrets…” Maggie mused. 

She had her fair share of those.

***

John rose early Sunday morning.  He ate his breakfast
quickly, since he’d made a decision late last night.  He decided he was going
to attend a church service at the church near Maggie’s home, where the nativity
scene was set up.

He had appreciated the pastor’s quick response to the
donkey’s destruction of Maggie’s backyard.  He had remembered that the pastor
and several of the men who had come to help with the cleanup had invited him to
a service.  He’d always attended church as a kid, but his church going had
tapered off considerably during his marriage to Kim.  She hadn’t wanted to
attend church, and had chided him when he did.