The Guide to Getting It On (92 page)

Cervical Abrasion

Due to the way the cervix is innervated, the woman won’t necessarily feel the surface of it being abraded by the top ball or bead of the apadravya. (There would be reasons nature made the head of the penis more like a cushion than a metal ball.) Your partner will usually know if you caused cervical abrasion by drops of blood afterward and discomfort the next day.

Showerhead Effects & Ejaculation Effects

Any piercing that intersects with the urethra can cause urine to spray out of the penis instead of come out in a stream, or in the case of a Prince Albert, the pee can cascade down the side of the jewelry. Some men are able to minimize the problem by rotating the penis 90 degrees or more when peeing. Others say a finger pushing against the lower hole can help to minimize the problem. Lord knows, you’ll have plenty of opportunity to experiment and find what works best. The bottom line: If you have any kind of piercing that goes through your urethra, there is a good possibility that you’ll end up needing to sit when you pee.

Your ejaculations are unlikely to paint the ceiling once a metal bar is running through your urethra. If you used to squirt, you might now ooze.

Ring Tossing

Jewelry on the end of a penis can case a diaphragm, cervical cap, or NuvaRing to dislodge (aka “ring tossing”). Fortunately, a NuvaRing is easy to take out before intercourse and to put in after. Doing so can be a fun part of your sexplay. The NuvaRing can stay out for three hours before you need to worry. If a woman who wears a NuvaRing has a partner with a penis piercing, at the very least she or he should check after intercourse to make sure it is still in place.

Chip & Swallow

Make sure that the balls on your boy’s piercing jewelry are firmly attached before sucking on a penis that is accessorized. And while wearing a mouth guard is not necessarily called for, be mindful that teeth have been chipped by jewelry that’s on a pierced penis. Back teeth are vulnerable as well as front.

Clitoris and Labia Piercings

Women often report that their genital piercings help them feel a greater sense of pride and ownership in their vulva. If done correctly and in synch with sexual preferences, piercings can also provide welcome sensations, as well as provide a fun frame of reference for vagina dialogues with a lover.

Girl piercings are dependent on each woman’s particular anatomy. Decisions about what to put where need to be carefully coordinated with an experienced piercer who understands vulva landscapes. Jewelry with a larger gauge can provide more stimulation and is less likely to pinch or tear delicate tissues. You should also purchase the finest jewelry possible, as harmful bacteria can collect in any pittings that might be on the surface of the jewelry.

Most clitoris piercings are really clitoris-hood piercings. Here are some of the different clitoral and labia possibilities:

Vertical Clitoral Hood Piercing or VCH:
This is where the piercing runs in the direction of nipples to knees and stimulates the clitoris directly. While not piercing through the clitoris, the jewelry lays on top of it and touches it directly. A woman who doesn’t like her clitoris to be touched should beware, as a VCH is going to provide a lot of clitoral contact. The jewelry that goes in the piercing can be a barbell or a ring. A barbell will probably be more stimulating, as the top sits on the shaft of the clitoris while the bottom ball kisses the tip of the clitoris. Note: One way to see if you’ve got enough hood for a hood piercing is to lubricate the head of a Q-Tip and see how easily it can fit between the hood and your clitoris. The piercer will need to insert a receiving tube under the hood in order to keep the needle from skewering your clitoris. If there’s not enough room or if the ring is too tight against your clitoris, consider other kinds of piercings.

Christina:
This is a surface piercing that is mostly for decoration. It goes where the mons pubis joins the outer labia. It is easily rejected, does not provide sexual stimulation and can be a nightmare if you are wearing tight jeans. There needs to be some thick tissue here for this one to work, as this part of a woman’s crotch often flattens out or moves with her normal range of motion. It carries with it a greater risk of infection.

Nefertiti:
This piercing runs vertically under the clitoral hood from the top of the vulva where the large lips meet and exits where the clitoral hood hangs over the tip of the clitoris. Given how long the piercing is, a flexible bar made of tygon or nylon is often used, and it can take a long time to heal.

Isabella and Princess Albertina:
These are dangerous piercings. Avoid them at all costs. You do not want a piercing to invade the female urethra, nor do you want to risk severing the dorsal nerve or puncturing the artery of the clitoris. Nuff said?

Horizontal Hood Piercing:
A woman’s clitoris and hood tend to retract when she stands, and the placement of horizontal piercings needs to take this into account. Otherwise, discomfort can occur. Placement is said to be optimal when the bead rests on the tip of the clitoris. Larger beads tend to be more stimulating. Jewelry with a thicker gauge might be preferable when a woman enjoys more pressure during intercourse. Women with a narrow pubic area or large labia or thighs that rub might not do as well with a horizontal hood piercing.

Triangle Piercing:
This is where a ring is passed under the nerve bundle of the clitoris at the base of the hood. It requires an extremely experienced piercer who can locate the nerve bundle and negotiate the jewelry behind it. It can look like a sexy door knocker, assuming your clit is hung well enough to handle it. This is the only piercing that stimulates the clitoral tip from behind, and it can seriously ratchet up the sensations during intercourse. Not that many women have a clitoris that sits out far enough for a ring to be safely passed under it. A narrow crotch or big outer labia can cause the ring to twist. If that’s the case, a teardrop-shaped ring might work better than a circular ring. Note: Piercing people refer to the clitoris in the usual “what you see is what you get” way that most of us do. However, as you can see in the chapter “What’s Inside a Girl,” this is only referring to the clitoral tip. The rest of the clitoris wraps around the vagina and occupies much more space.

Inner Labia Piercing:
The success of an inner-labia piercing will depend a good deal on the thickness of the labia. Anything less than an 1/8” wide is likely to fail. Also, the piercings need to be placed far enough from the edge of the outer labia so they don’t pull against the outer labia as a woman walks, runs and bends over. As with most genital jewelry, a thicker gauge will usually feel better and is less likely to tear these tender tissues. If a labial piercing is placed closer to the vagina, a woman’s partner will be more likely to feel the sensation during intercourse. If it is placed closer to her clitoris, she might feel more sensation during intercourse.

Outer Labia Piercing:
Given how outer labia have sweat glands, perspiration can be a problem as these piercings try to heal. To keep these piercings from getting irritated, let your outer lips flap free. The jewelry can also rub unpleasantly against tight panties and even your other labia.

Fourchette:
This is a piercing on the bum side of the vagina that goes from the bottom wall of the vagina into the perineum. We’re not talking much room to work with. This can be uncomfortable for women who enjoy intercourse, as the ring can get pulled into the vagina with incoming thrusts.

Pierced Clit:
Some women have a clitoris that’s beefy enough for piercing (minimum of 1/4” wide and the hood can’t constrict the jewelry). Piercing an actual clit seems worrisome when you consider that the part of the clitoris that would be pierced has small chambers that become engorged with blood during arousal. Putting a post through the clitoris itself seems like it’s playing Russian roulette with some pretty important neural pathways.

Female Genital Jewelry and Pregnancy

Most women with genital piercings have no problem getting pregnant. The problem can be with what happens when the kid decides to come out. Talk it over with your obstetrician or midwife. The time to NOT get a new piercing is if you are pregnant or trying to get pregnant. Your body will be changing a great deal, and what was a well placed piercing during your first trimester might not be so during your third.

Beware the Navel Piercing

You would think that of any piercings, the navel would be a piece of cake. But if there is one place where you truly want an experienced piercer, your belly button is it. Wrong angle, wrong jewelry, and you are staring at six to eighteen months of healing. Hint: while you might have been dreaming of there being a cool little ring in your navel, consider a curved barbell instead. And keep in mind that not all navels are made for piercing. For instance, an outie navel most likely contains a herniated umbilicus, and there are some asymmetrical parts of innies that do as well. The problem with this is if your site becomes infected, the infection might go straight to your liver via one of these blood vessels. If that happens, we’re talking the likelihood of getting your next piercing in the afterlife.

Nipple Piercing

As with genital piercings, nipple jewelry can bring its owner a sense of pride as well as being a great distraction for a partner to play with. But nipple piercings also come with a serious “ouch factor,” and unless they are done right, they can migrate faster than a wildebeest across the Savannah.

The jewelry that’s best for nipple piercings will depend on the size of your nipples and breasts. Also, men and women alike need to let the piercer know if their nipples are soft or erect at the time of the piercing. Jewelry that is placed in an erect nipple that later goes flat can be uncomfortable. (Jewelry that’s more flexible like tygon or nylon might work better with flat nipples.)

In case you haven’t noticed, female nipples tend to have a bit more going for them than male nipples when it comes to being pierced. So unless a woman has flat nipples, the piercing should go through the base of the nipple where it meets the areola, but not through the areola. (You don’t want to court a case of mastitis.) It’s different for boys. Unless a guy lives to be Super Sized, his nipples usually aren’t as robust as a woman’s. The piercing will often need to go through his areola to avoid being rejected. He also doesn’t have a mammary-gland situation to contend with.

Other Nipple Piercing Considerations

Males usually don’t need to worry about menstrual soreness, but a woman should weigh that before getting her nipples pierced.

Women who are planning to have their nipples pierced should inquire about the kinds of fabrics they will be able to wear. How will your nipple rings look under a conservative business suit? Lacy bras will probably be out, since the ring will constantly catch in the lacy material. Ditto for the kind of shirts you will be able to wear to work.

Wearing a bra during the healing process can put pressure on the piercing site and prolong healing, and a woman who thinks she might have an infection at her nipple site should seek medical care immediately. As stated earlier, mastitis can be a bitch.

Nursing and nipple piercings is a topic you should research if you are planning on having a baby. The advice is often contradictory—perhaps because different women have had different experiences. So look up several sources and be prepared for a number of different scenarios. (What if your normally stoic nipples become terribly tender during your third trimester? Should you remove your nipple jewelry for the duration while nursing? What if the scar sites on your nipples becomes extra sensitive?)

Tongues, Lips and Labret

A tongue piercing is something you should enjoy the feeling of in your mouth. A lot of people have tongue piercings, so be sure to ask around and get their advice. You’ll want to have a sense of how far forward or back you want your piercing. Street wisdom has it that if you enjoy going down on women, you’ll want your tongue piercing more forward, and if you like to give blow jobs, get it farther back–but this depends on your technique. Other considerations with placement include how much you want the outside world to know it’s there. Some women change their tongue jewelry to match certain outfits. And you can get small silicone caps that fit over the bead of a barbell. These are soft and are used for decoration and for giving oral sex.

Also research the angle you want the piercing to be. The straighter it is, the more the ball will rub against the top of your mouth. Be aware that the post will angle just a bit to the side in order to avoid the web on the bottom of your tongue. The piercer might initially put in a post that’s longer than what you’ll need. This is to help accommodate the swelling during healing.

Tongue piercings don’t usually hurt a whole lot, but expect your tongue to swell up like a weather balloon soon after. Don’t expect to be talking right for the first week, and remember that eating can be a challenge with a sore and swollen tongue. The healing period will normally take a week to two weeks. The piercer might want you to avoid certain foods during the healing period, including sugars. The folks at BME caution that tongue piercings are susceptible to genital warts, and a tongue piercing might increase your chances of giving and getting sexually transmitted infections. Note: If a woman who gets frequent vaginal infections has a partner with a tongue piercing, bacteria in her partner’s piercing might be causing the infections.