The Glory Game (19 page)

“Luz, I told you—”

“I know what you told me.” Distantly she could hear the shouts and laughter of children filtering through the glassed front of the cabana. With the recognition came a sense of where
they were and awareness that any of the family might walk in on them. Luz reached deep inside to get control of her emotions. “And it's obvious that the things you said meant nothing. But this isn't the time or the place to discuss it. Not now. Not until Rob and Trisha leave. Then we'll talk.”

“I think that's wise,” he said carefully.

“But remember this, Drew. If you can't get rid of her, I can.” She shoved the other drink glass onto a table, the contents sloshing over the side, then walked stiffly to the sliding doors that opened to the beach. She slid it half open and paused to look over her shoulder at him. “You'd better ring one of the housemaids to clean up the broken glass.” She left the cabana and walked down to the water, letting the seaspray sting her eyes.

W
ith riding gloves, hat, and quirt in her hand, Luz left the stable and cut across the patio area around the pool. The physical tiredness was a good feeling, relaxing all her muscles and leaving them loose. She lifted the weight of her blond hair off her neck and let the warm breeze fan her skin, then shook her head to let it fall free.

Early evening was a good time to school Rob's horses, while the sun still lingered in the sky and before the night dew made the grass slick. Even the best-trained polo ponies needed routine practice in the basics—stops, backing, and turns—-to correct any bad habits they might acquire. Sessions like today required her concentration, not allowing her any time to think about her problems or feel sorry for herself. Working with the horses was therapy for her.

Possibly she had needed such therapy today more than at any other recent time. Rob and Trisha had left for school this morning, which meant that tonight she'd have it out with Drew. One way or another, Claudia was going out of their lives.

The French doors into the living room were unlocked, and she entered the house through them. Luz was three strides into the room before she heard the clink of ice in a glass and caught a movement out of the corner of her eye. It brought her up short, and she turned toward it. After being outside in the glaring light of a setting sun, her eyes were not completely adjusted to the comparative darkness of the interior.

“Drew.” She recognized him in surprise. “What are you doing home so early?” Then a second thought struck her. “Where's your car? It wasn't in the garage.”

“It's parked out front.” He remained behind the bar, a preoccupied frown crossing his tanned face while he swirled the ice in his drink with a circular motion of his hand.

“Oh.” At least that explained why she hadn't seen his brown Mercedes.

“It's time we had that talk, Luz,” Drew announced.

“I agree.” She tossed her riding equipment onto a chair cushion and walked over to the bar, slipping her hands into the pockets of her tan jodhpurs. “This can't go on.”

“I came to that realization, too.” He took a swig of his drink. “By the way, I sent the cook home. I knew it was Emma's day off, and I felt it would be better if we were alone.”

“It's probably best.” She hoped this wouldn't turn into a shouting match.

He braced his hands on the countertop. “I want a divorce, Luz.”

The floor seemed to go out from under her feet. Of all the things she'd thought he might say, that bald statement was not one of them. The shock of it left her numb with disbelief.

“No.” Her voice was so faint she barely heard it herself.

“It's the hardest thing I've ever had to say, Luz. I've never wanted to hurt you,” Drew insisted. “I love you. I'll always love you. That will never change.”

“Then … why?” The numbness was splintering, and the pain was coming through. It was crazy. It was insane. In these last weeks since she'd learned about the affair, she had told herself there were no more feelings left, that everything was gone, that there wasn't any way he could hurt her anymore. But the pain she was feeling now with those words pounding through her head—“I want a divorce, Luz”—was tearing her apart.

“Because I'm in love with Claudia. I can't give her up. I can't let her go. I've tried, believe me.” The push of his body emphasized his claim. “But she and I share something very special, very rare. I can't expect you to understand how much I love her.”

“My God, Drew, she's young enough to be your daughter. Don't be a fool!” she cried in protest.

“The age difference … doesn't matter. Maybe in the beginning it bothered me, but neither of us thinks of that when we're together. It became insignificant a long time ago.”

“What about twenty years from now?” Luz argued desperately. The panic she felt was almost terror. He couldn't mean it! He couldn't throw away their lives like this! “For God's sake, think of what you're saying, Drew!”

“I have thought about it. In these last few weeks, I've thought about little else. This isn't a decision I've reached lightly. Please understand that.”

“Understand!” There was a catch in her choked voice, the sobs so close to escaping. “You're throwing away twenty-one years of our lives! Don't they mean anything to you?”

He bowed his head, shaking it slowly. The rocking of those silver wings seemed to mock her. “You're not making this any easier, Luz.”

“You're a rotten bastard.” She hurt so much inside she could hardly breathe, and she lashed out with the raw anger of a wounded animal. “Am I supposed to make it easy for you to leave me and go to that dark-haired young bitch in heat?”

“Let's leave out the name-calling, Luz. It's beneath you.” The aggressive thrust of his chin seemed to carry a warning that he wouldn't tolerate any further deprecations of Claudia.

“What am I supposed to call her?” She heard the shrill ring of near hysteria in her voice, but there was nothing she could do to stop it. There were explosions inside her—waves of pain, panic, and anger. “That charming young woman who stole my husband? She's a scheming, conniving bitch! She may have you fooled, but not me. She got you the same way she got her law degree—on her back!”

His hand tightened around the drink glass. For an instant, Luz thought he was going to hit her. A second later, his expression showed iron calm. “That's an attitude I should have expected from you. You can't accept that Claudia has the intelligence to obtain something on her own, because you've had to have everything given to you. So you fear all professional women like Claudia and try to tear them down. For your information, she graduated
magna cum laude,
and you don't do that by screwing your professors.”

Belittled by his words, Luz turned away to hide the tears filling her eyes. She didn't know what to say—how to reach him and stop this nightmare. There had to be a way to save their marriage.

“Don't do this, Drew.” She issued the soft plea in a trembling voice as the tears spilled down her cheeks. “I need you.”

“You don't need me. You've never needed me.”

“That isn't true.” He couldn't believe that. But when she looked at him, Luz saw the sardonic twist of his mouth that confirmed he did.

“I'd hate to count the number of times I've been reminded how lucky I was to marry a Kincaid. For years, people used to call me up and ask ‘Are you the lawyer who is Jake Kincaid's son-in-law?' But I've finally earned a reputation of my own. You've never needed my name, and God knows you have more money than I'll make in a lifetime. You'll get along fine without me.

“But you're my husband.”

“You say that the way you say ‘my mink' or ‘my diamonds.' I'm not a possession to wear on your arm, Luz,” Drew stated tightly. “And after today, I won't be your husband. You can keep the house and everything in it but my own personal items. I'll take my car. As for the rest, I recommend that you retain Arthur Hill. He's represented the Kincaid family for years. Or anyone else you choose to work out a divorce settlement on the other properties and investments we've acquired during our marriage. Have them contact my partner, Bill Thorndyke. He'll be drawing up the separation papers for me.”

It all sounded so final, yet none of it wanted to sink in. She couldn't believe that he meant any of this—-that he could so coldly walk away from her after all these years. Her world was falling apart, and Luz didn't know how to hold it together.

“The children.” She reached desperately for a straw. “What about them? Have you considered how this will affect them?”

She hated the pitying look he gave her. “As you pointed out the other day, they're practically adults. They are old enough to understand that these things happen. Marriages are breaking up all the time.”

“But not mine,” Luz protested, the sobs coming through and her body shaking with them.

“It's over, Luz. There's nothing you can say that will change it.” He tossed down the rest of his drink and set the glass on the counter with a certain finality. “It will be better for everyone if you just accept that.”

“How can I?” She wiped at the tears running into the corners
of her mouth and appealed to his reason. “You say you love me, Drew. If you mean that, then why rush into a divorce? Right now you think you're in love with … her. But what if you aren't? What if it just turns out to be infatuation? Don't you think you should wait and see if it will last before you throw away our marriage? A year from now you may wonder what you ever saw in her. It will all pass. You'll see, and things will be the way they were for us.” At the moment, it seemed her only hope—to stall for time.

“No, Luz. You don't understand.” Her arguments hadn't swayed him at all. She could see that in his steadfast expression. “Even if I had any doubts about my love for Claudia—which I don't—it wouldn't change my decision. Claudia is pregnant with my child.”

“No.” Luz recoiled in shock, conscious of the sickening lurch of her stomach.

“I didn't intend to tell you that today, because I didn't feel it was relevant. I want a divorce so that I can marry Claudia because I'm in love with her—not because she is going to have my baby. But I'm telling you to stress the point that even if I didn't marry her and we stayed together, nothing would be the way it was. It would be impossible for either of us to forget that I have a bastard child in this world.”

His voice seemed to come from a great distance as her mind reeled with the humiliation and embarrassment the announcement portended—for herself as well as Rob and Trisha. “She … she can have an abortion—or move away to have the baby and give it up for adoption.”

“It's her body, and it's up to her to decide whether or not she wants an abortion. Not you, Luz. Or me,” Drew stated flatly.

“You're a lawyer. Talk her into it,” she declared wildly.

“I wouldn't even try.” He moved out from behind the bar, a calm deliberation in the way he carried himself. “She wants the baby.”

“She wants you!”

“And I want her. And I'd take the child myself before I would let anyone else raise it,” he said.

The walls seemed to be crashing down around her. She looked at Drew and felt so helpless, so utterly powerless. It frightened her. She was like a lost child, not knowing which
way to turn to find her way out, too scared to cry, all the panicked screams locked inside.

“I'm sorry, Luz.” Drew paused, his glance shifting away from her. “I'm truly sorry for both of us that it turned out this way.”

It was a full second before she realized he was walking toward the door. Luz ran after him. “Where are you going? You can't leaver!”

“I can't stay here.” Although he stopped, there was some invisible barrier between them that prevented Luz from reaching out to cling to him. “I've packed my clothes. They're in the car. I'll arrange to pick up the rest of my things another time…. Goodbye, Luz.”

She stood rooted to the floor, unable to move, as he walked to the front door and opened it. His clothes were already in the car. They had been there when she came home. There had never been any chance of changing his mind. She wanted to die remembering the way she had pleaded with him to reconsider, abandoning her pride and self-respect.

“You're going to her place, aren't you?” Luz accused, loudly and bitterly. “You're going to live with that cheap bitch you knocked up, aren't you?”

Drew paused briefly in the opening and faced her with an impassive look. “If you need me for any reason, contact the office. My answering service knows where to reach me.”

“You bastard! Get out! Get out of my house!” She began grabbing things and throwing them at the door when it shut behind him. Vases of flowers and ceramic figurines, magazines and umbrellas, anything she could find, crashed into the general target area while she hurled a string of obscenities after him.

She never heard the slam of the car door or the low rumble of the motor. When she ran out of a ready supply of things to throw, her strength waned. She sagged onto the stairs and hugged the newel post for support. “Don't do this, Drew,” Luz whispered brokenly. “Don't leave me.”

The weeping began, slowly at first, then with gathering force until her shoulders shook with wracking sobs. The rejection went too deep; it was too total. There was no release for the pain. So she cried herself to a state of numbed exhaustion.

Darkness swallowed the house, and she welcomed its enveloping black cocoon. It was a place to hide away from the
world, and that's what she wanted. A shrill sound broke the silence, and Luz was slow to identify the ring of the telephone. It roused her briefly, then she sank back into her torpor, trying to block out the annoying sound.