The Gate to Everything (Once Upon a Dare Book 1) (36 page)

While he held her, he came to terms with his decision. When Ella finally fell asleep against his chest, he continued to rock her, unable to bear the thought of setting her down in her crib.

The door slowly opened sometime later, and Grace poked her head in.
 

He whispered, “She’s asleep.”

She walked hesitantly forward and laid her hand on Ella’s head. “I thought she might want to nurse, but maybe we should let her sleep.”

He rose with his daughter in his arms, feeling the awkwardness hovering between him and Grace. “I’ll get out of your way. If she has another tough night, just text me. I want to help—if that doesn’t bother you.”

His mind flashed back to the early months after Ella was born, how he’d had to push to help with the night shift. It seemed as if they’d come back full circle.

“Let’s hope she sleeps,” Grace whispered, and in the soft light, he could see the grooves in her face from exhaustion and stress.

Ella wasn’t the only one he was hurting.

“I really am sorry,” he whispered, his chest aching. “When I saw her, it all hit me. You’re right. She didn’t smile at me. She just…lay against me all curled up. It broke my heart, Grace.”

She nodded, her face bunching up with grief. “I know.”

“I’m sorry I got mad earlier and swore at you,” he said, filled with regret. “You caught me off guard, talking about moving. Grace, you need to know. Regardless of what you decide about us, I’m going to leave the NFL. I won’t let anything happen to you and Ella. We can talk whenever you want.”

He handed Ella over to Grace and stooped to kiss her round cheek.

“I love you, little one,” he whispered. “Sweet dreams.”

There were tears shining in Grace’s eyes when he straightened. He nodded and let himself out quietly.

Meg wasn’t downstairs, and Jordan noted the time on the clock in the family room. It was well after ten o’clock. He needed to be at the stadium in the morning to recap how they’d played today. He also needed to talk to Chaz and the other members of the front office about setting up a press conference.

Apparently NFL commentators had even mentioned the incident with his family during the broadcast of today’s game, speculating that it had driven him to deliver a punishing defeat to Dallas and get into a fight with one of the defensive linemen who’d tackled him after a play. What no one knew was the asshole had called him out for not being able to defend his family. Jordan had lunged at him, but he’d been pulled back by two of his own players. Otherwise, he would have decked the guy and potentially gotten thrown out of the game.

It was a freaking mess. He’d never shown such bad sportsmanship, and the media had run with the story.

After the game, Chaz had told him the front office was getting requests for interviews about the grocery store altercation with the Rebels’ fans. Apparently, a majority of Rebels’ fans were up in arms about it and had been sending condolences to Jordan and his family. Media commentators were discussing the ethics of tabloid bounties for children, which was prompting a hot debate about celebrities’ privacy. The media had even identified the Good Samaritan, and Jordan planned to call him tomorrow to thank him for looking out for his family.

He hadn’t told Grace about any of it because she’d pretty much cold-cocked him with her talk of leaving Atlanta to protect Ella. But he’d have to—even though he was planning on retiring—because he wouldn’t keep anything concerning their daughter from her again. Tomorrow was soon enough.

Digging out his phone when he reached his house, he scrolled through the texts he’d received from his Once Upon a Dare brothers. The general theme was the same: were he and the family okay?

He didn’t have the energy to respond to everyone individually, so he sent back a group text.

Things are pretty bad, but I’m working on changing that. Tell you more deets when I have them.

Jordan couldn’t sleep that night, kept awake by thoughts of leaving the sport he loved, but the memory of Ella’s sad, listless body cuddled against his chest was enough to reaffirm there was nothing he wouldn’t do for his little girl.

Chapter 29

Grace didn’t know what to say to Jordan yet, so she left Ella with her mom and drove to Tony’s apartment in Midtown after Jordan had left for work. He’d come to the house to say goodbye to Ella, who had thankfully only gotten up once in the middle of the night. The baby had still been asleep when he’d arrived, but Grace had heard Jordan’s words loud and clear over the baby monitor.

“Don’t worry, sweetheart,” he’d said softly. “Daddy’s going to take care of everything today.”

Was he planning on announcing his retirement? Her stomach was clenched in knots at the idea. Not this soon, surely? After a sleepless night, she was all tied up with indecision. Had she been wrong to suggest that she and Ella move away? Jordan was a good dad, and living in different cities changed things between a parent and a child. His willingness to leave the NFL to stay with Ella had moved her fiercely. With that one move, he was showing her his daughter was truly everything.

And that wasn’t the only thing tying her into knots. After all this time, he wanted to marry her. She’d spent plenty of time sobbing into her pillow over that.
 

Surely there was some other way for them to stay together as a family—one that wouldn’t require Jordan to give up the game he so loved. Tony was one of the people she knew best, and his separation from the situation meant he could give her impartial advice. That was something she desperately needed right now.
 

When she reached Tony’s penthouse, he greeted her with open arms. “I would have come to you,” he said, hugging her tightly. “You have enough on your plate right now. I’m surprised reporters didn’t follow you here.”

“They did,” she said, letting him lead her inside. “I ended up having Jordan’s driver bring me here.” It was her acknowledgment that Jordan had been right about her following the protocols he’d put in place. But her heart had pretty much pounded the whole way considering all the news vans and other cars in hot pursuit after they cleared the gate.

He narrowed his eyes at her. “You should have stayed inside.”

She’d thought about it. “Things…got taken care of.” The guards had been super angry about the incident, and they’d encouraged her to let them do their jobs. She’d assured them it wouldn’t happen again.

“Tempers are running hot about what happened,” Tony said. “It’s all over the news. Everyone is wondering if the Rebels are going to have a press conference today to address what happened. The local morning news programs have been talking about fans being bullies and tabloids going too far to get pictures of celebrities’ kids. A few outraged fans have said they want to punch the people at the grocery store in the face. I share that sentiment.”

When they reached Tony’s massive kitchen, Grace sank into one of the stainless steel bar chairs in front of the island. “I told Jordan I thought I should take Ella away from Atlanta and move to a different city—one that doesn’t care so much about him and his personal life.”

Tony’s eyes went flat. “You’re going to let those bullies make you run? I thought you’d gotten beyond that, bella.”

His words confirmed she might have overreacted yesterday. “After thinking about it all night, I’m having doubts.”

He put his hands on his hips. “You can’t give people like that any power. They’re pissants. You would leave Marcellos and the man you love because of this?”

The thought of leaving Marcellos had made her heart seriously hurt, but she’d realized something—she could be a chef anywhere while Jordan was facing the prospect of giving up his career. “I only want to protect my daughter, Tony,” she said. “I feel like I’m between a rock and a hard place.”

He shook his head. “Blow up the hard place. You don’t give in to bullies, Grace. You fight back. You draw better boundaries. You shame people when they act like this. Trust me, the more ethical journalists and Jordan’s fans are already doing this. You need to join them.”

Hearing people were on her side raised her spirits. Other than the Good Samaritan yesterday, she hadn’t thought it possible. “Jordan didn’t like my idea either,” she said, the taste in her mouth suddenly like bitter almonds. “He said he’d rather leave the NFL than lose Ella—regardless of whether I decide to stay with him.”
 

“Only a rare man would leave the career he loves for his family.” Tony set Grace’s espresso before her. “If you’re questioning your relationship with him, those bullies have won, after all.”

“He totally shocked me.” Grace’s hands were shaking too much for her to reach for the espresso. “I…I can’t bear the thought of us breaking up again. This time it would be for good, but Ella would always keep us tethered together.” How could she live with this decision, knowing how much they loved each other, knowing he finally wanted to marry her and have a family with her?

“Then don’t break up with him,” Tony said, crossing his arms. “Jordan may not be a perfect man, but he’s not to blame for what happened. And yet you’re thinking about taking everything he loves away from him: you, his daughter, and football.”

“I don’t see any good choices here,” she said, pressing her hand to her heart. “This is my daughter we’re talking about. Tony, she screamed. She hasn’t smiled. It’s…an impossible situation.”

“You need to find a better solution,” Tony said tightly. “Right now you and Jordan are coming up with impossible choices. Grace. For all of your sakes. How do you think Ella will feel when she gets older and finally learns the truth behind your decisions? Do you think it’ll make her happy?”

Her head spun. “I hope she would understand we did it out of love.”

“Or she would be sad that you did something that could make everyone so unhappy because of her,” Tony said. “It would be a lot to lay on a child.”

Grace blinked. “She wouldn’t think that.” But her daughter might, especially if her mom and dad continued to look at each other with love for the rest of their lives, filled with regret that they could have been a family, but weren’t.

“I might,” Tony said, giving her a pointed look. “My mother gave up working at an antique shop in our town when she started her family. My father didn’t want his wife working outside the home. Family members later told me stories about how happy she’d been working in that little shop filled with beautiful things. I asked her one day why she never went inside that shop anymore, and she said it still made her a little sad. I would never have wanted my mother to make that choice if I’d been old enough to stop her. Neither would Ella.”

Her throat clogged with emotion. “Do you really think Jordan and I could shame the media into backing off?”

He made a fist in the air and waved it menacingly. “Yes! I know how much you hate bad language, but sometimes it’s the only way to get people’s attention. You say ‘Fuck you,’ to the bullies, and you do as much as you can to prevent them from bothering you again.”

Grace flinched at the word. Tony had never used it in her presence after learning about how her first boss had used harsh, demeaning language to bully her. That chef, she realized, had goaded her into leaving a wonderful opportunity—just like Grace had almost let these bullies do to her now. No, she couldn’t keep running. It was time to stand her ground.

“I don’t know if I can say that, but I understand the force behind the word.” Maybe she could muster that.

He gave her a pointed look. “If you can’t say it now, you practice saying it until you can. But you don’t leave Marcellos, and you don’t let Jordan give up football. Most importantly, you don’t leave the man you love for the second time, Grace.”

Grace firmed her shoulders. “Okay, I need to practice it.” She winced. “Fuck.”

“That’s terrible,” Tony said, a slow smile appearing on his face. “Again.”

She said it over and over again at his prompts until he clapped his hands. To her shock, she felt a million times lighter—and more empowered.

“Bravo,” he said. “Now, find Jordan, Grace. Before he does something he can’t undo.”

The urgency was rising inside her. “I…don’t know whether I can get to him. He’s in meetings.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “You can get to him. And if anyone gets in your way, you use your word and punch them. Let me show you how to make a fist.” He tucked her fingers into her palm and arranged her thumb horizontally over them. “Family is worth fighting for. Love is worth fighting for. Don’t ever let anyone make you forget that.”

“I’m going to fight, Tony,” she said, raising her fist. “For Jordan and me, and for our family.” It wouldn’t be easy or pleasant, but she couldn’t let those bullies take away everything. They’d already hurt her and her family enough.

“Let us go then,” Tony said.

She nodded and followed him out with both hands fisted by her side, ready to do battle for the people she loved.

*
 
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The Rebels’ owner and Coach didn’t like Jordan’s plan for how to handle what everyone was calling the grocery store incident. In fact, they were downright pissed.

“Son,” Coach said, standing at the edge of his desk in his office, “I know you think you’re protecting your family by retiring from the game, but this isn’t the way. You’re still a Super Bowl winner. No matter where you go, you’re going to be famous. Hell, I played ball with some pretty great guys in my time. People still ask them for autographs, and they’re bald and fat now.”