The Fifth Season (22 page)

He’d shaved. Not only his face but all the glorious thick locks of black hair were gone. This man, this soldier who stepped onto the driveway and stared into her face wasn’t anyone she wanted to know. His attire was strictly military. The fatigues drained away the man, leaving behind a stern faced Ranger and an unfamiliar person.

“Emma? What’s wrong?”

“Your hair.”

Stone reached up and ran his hand over the small stubble that remained. He shrugged, and she watched his face soften. Her heart skipped, and she battled to stay put…stay distant. “It’ll grow back.”

“When are you leaving?”

“You want me gone that bad?”

“Why did you re-enlist?”

He chuckled and walked toward her. She backed up but the truck held her captive, and she couldn’t go any farther. A spark of interest caught in Stone’s eye. He advanced on her, causing her breath to hitch. Placing an arm on either side, his body pressed against hers.

“So many questions…”

Emma reached up and framed his face with her hands. She missed his hair, missed the man she fell in love with. “I don’t know you.”

His gaze hardened. He kept her pinned for a few more seconds, swore violently, and pushed back off of the hood of the truck and away from her.

“Did you ever?” Stone demanded.

“I thought I did. I thought…” She paused and inhaled sharply, reining in her emotions. “I don’t know what I thought.”

“If I ask you to trust me, will you? If I tell you that in a few months all of this won’t matter, will you believe me? If I remind you of the cabin, will you love me again?” Stone stood still as the rocky cliffs behind him. She didn’t know what he wanted from her, what promises he was making.

“I never stopped loving you.” The relief that washed across his face made her almost believe he loved her as well.

“I’ll be leaving the second week in March.”

“And River Run?”

“It’s fine. It won’t revert to my father, the lawyer worked out the details.”

Emma’s heart dropped. That wasn’t what she’d meant. If he loved her, he’d tell her about the sale. “And after you return, what will happen then?”

“I don’t know.” He stepped closer and cupped her face in his hand. “I guess I’ll leave that up to you.”

“And River Run?”

“What?” Stone shook his head and frowned. “What about it? It’s only a building, Emma. It’ll survive.”

Emma swallowed. She laughed and it rang harshly with her anger. Sidestepping Stone, she strode onto the front porch. “I’ll be dining with Nate tonight.”

“I see,” Stone answered.

“Yes, I bet you do.” Emma stepped into the house, praying she’d make it to her rooms before losing her hold on the heartbreak that racked her body.

***

He didn’t know how long he stood outside. Emma’s independence waving a huge F250 fuck-you behind him. Her stiff retreat screaming heartbreak and pain before him. What had he done?

Clueless. I’m absolutely clueless
.

What about the renovations of River Run concerned her? Didn’t she believe he’d be back? That he’d complete all this work he’d started? He felt the weight of wasted time pressing upon his shoulders and mentally began ticking off the list that haunted him 24/7.

The letters
.

His last task crept closer and closer as the days slipped by. He’d complete it, he knew. But he needed Emma, needed her support and strength.

A soft glow of light beamed from her bedroom window. He glanced at it and saw her face framed within the paned glass. Pointing at her, he made a decision.

“Stay right there.” He didn’t know if she heard him, so he moved swiftly up the stairs and into the house. Rounding the bend into her quarters, he strode through the door separating her bedroom from the hall.

“You didn’t knock,” she said, apparently not surprised to find him there.

“I’m not knocking anymore. As a matter of fact, I’m no longer giving you the power to retreat and hide. I don’t understand your focus on River Run, but I’m here to tell you it has nothing to do with your feelings for me.”

“Oh, really?” She sat on her bed and stared at him through luminous green eyes. They deepened with anger and another emotion he didn’t want to acknowledge. Betrayal.

“What have I done?”

“Done? Nothing, absolutely nothing.”

“What changed after that day in the cabin? Did you suddenly find in me a man you no longer cared to love?”

“If I didn’t love you, do you think I would have allowed you to…let you…” Emma inhaled and her voice wavered.

“Allowed me to what?”

“Oh never mind, this is ridiculous. We’re never going to work, Stone. Stop fighting for what won’t ever be.”

“Why won’t we work?” He knelt down before her and lowered his voice, trying to ease her panic. “Tell me, Emma. Why can’t we be together?”

“You’ve gone back to your former life, for one.”

“Only this mission.” He gazed into her eyes, wanting her to see how deeply he cared, afraid to speak the words.

“Why go at all?”

“I have to.”

“Tell me.”

He shook his head, wishing he could. But he didn’t want to raise her hopes or worry about where he was going. “It’s classified. If I told you,” he said, frowning and leaning in her direction. “I’d have to kill you.”

“You’re doing that already.”

“Oh God, Emma, don’t say that.” He stood and pulled her into his arms.

“You are,” she said. “Every second we’re apart, ever bitter word we speak, a part of my heart dies. I don’t want to care. I don’t want to love you.”

“But you do, don’t you?” Stone held her tightly, running his hands up and down her back.

“Where can we go from here?”

“Anywhere,” he whispered against her hear. “Anywhere at all.”

She pulled back and gazed into his eyes.

“Are you selling River Run?”

“No.” He answered honestly, thankful he’d had the foresight to cancel the contract of sale before the holidays. He loved Emma, and she loved River Run. He’d never take that away from her.

Her eyes narrowed slightly. “What about your father?”

Stone tensed. His heart beat wildly, and he swallowed past the lump in his throat. “You’ll have to choose.”

She sagged against him, and her eyes brightened with tears. He swore silently. The pain and anger that burned his soul whenever she spoke his father’s name, let alone threatened to visit, had made him realize an important factor. In this, there was no compromise.

“And your mission? Can you tell me where you’re going?”

“No. But when I return, the healing can begin.”

Emma chewed the bottom left corner of her lip. He wanted to bend and replace her teeth with his tongue, remind her of their connection. He didn’t. She needed to make decisions.

“This…” she patted his chest then her own. “Is tearing me apart.” She reached up and traced a gentle finger across his brow. He closed his eyes, the touch telling him all he needed to know.

“Me too.” He heard the hoarseness of his voice and cringed against his weakness. Opening his lids, he silently challenged her to fight against their obstacles.

“Your words and demands aren’t making this easy.”

“I won’t apologize.”

A grin brightened her face and spark of mischief sizzled within the depths of her eyes. “No, I didn’t think you would.”

“What’s happening here, Emma?”

“A relationship,” she said. “And not a very healthy one at that.” Her laughter lightened the solemn words, giving him a spark of hope.

“Will you stand by my side until I return home?”

She stared into his eyes for a long time. He didn’t move, didn’t breathe. He’d never been this scared in his entire life.

“Yes, Stone Connor. I’ll stand by your side.” Her words slammed into him with the concussion of an explosion. Stunned and elated, he fought the desire to pick her up and whoop for joy. He couldn’t release his love, not yet. There still remained one job to complete.

***

Emma sat in the middle of Stone’s massive bed, listening to the drone of male voices. She’d nothing to do. With a frown, she climbed off the bed and watched another winter storm throw more white layers on the already snow-crusted pasture.

She knew the men were here because Stone couldn’t go to them. She knew he’d lied to her about the sale of River Run. He’d been honest regarding his father and straight forward on the lack of comment about his mission. It all totaled together for a heartrending emotional catastrophe. Maybe some of Margaret’s insightfulness rubbed into Emma’s soul. Because she believed her decision to stand by this man rang of a wisdom beyond her understanding. It felt right.

“Hey gorgeous,” Stone said from the doorway. “Whatcha doing?”

“I’m bored. Want to come play?”

He grinned. “Wish I could. Why not join us for a hike?”

“Really?” The surprise she felt echoed in her words.

“Yeah. The men need to get out of the house. Crankiness has set in.”

She sighed and moved into the walk-in closet to change. “I can relate. Where’re we going?”

“Let’s head down to the river and see where that leads us.”

“Fine by me.” She paused and frowned. “Do we have enough snow shoes?”

“I believe so. And if not, they can wade through the stuff. It’ll do ‘em good. Some of these boys seem a bit too soft for my liking.”

Walking out of the closet, Emma looked closely at Stone. The strain of the past few weeks of intense physical activity showed in black smudged bags beneath his eyes and excess muscles bulging against his shirt sleeve.

“They’ll never replace what you lost.”

“I know that.” He opened his arms, and she walked into his embrace. It might only be temporary, but their truce felt wonderful.

“Rex called today.”

“Yeah?”

“Our departure date’s been confirmed.”

“I understand.” She nodded against his chest, glad he couldn’t see her lying face.

“I’m going to miss you.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“Hopefully, only about a week. At the max, it’ll be two.”

Emma’s throat tightened. Two weeks. Where the heck were they sending him? More importantly, why were they sending him? Instead of voicing her concerns, she pushed everything to the back of her mind and showed the face Stone needed.

The strong partner. The confident partner.

She held tight, stood her ground. The last thing he needed was someone to question his judgment or interfere with this mission.

“I’ve something to do tomorrow that I need your help with.”

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

“I need to write some letters.”

“Letters? What kind?”

“The ones that say I’m sorry.”

Chapter Fifteen

Stone stood at the top of the stairs listening to the whir of the treadmill. Emma was taking full advantage of the gym since his men shipped back to base last week. His exit date demanded he leave within the week.

Padding silently down the stairs, he stopped in the doorway of the room they’d expanded from a small exercise room to a full-fledged gym. Weight equipment and mats stretched from mirrored wall to mirrored wall. Emma occupied a treadmill before the floor to ceiling windows, jogging steadily, ear phones jammed on her head.

She wore tight shorts and a cropped sports bra. A trickle of sweat ran down her back, soaking into the black spandex material of her shorts. He smiled, admiring the view.

Auburn curls fell down her back, clasped loosely with a clip. His heart swelled with love. Did he believe in love at first sight?

Yes.

He realized the moment she’d opened her mouth and welcomed him to River Run, he’d been consumed by her magic.

He hated sharing her affection. Stone wanted it all, but he knew until she overcame her fears and took responsibility for her life and the decisions that encompassed, he’d have to be okay with the portion of her heart she chose to share with him.

Nate Connor.

His father loomed between them with the savageness of the Snake cutting through the mountains. Would she cross to his side or remain out of reach?

He walked up behind her and straddled the outside edges of the treadmill. Her heat, her nearness was enough to drive him mad with desire. Closing his eyes, he held tightly to the bars of the treadmill unable to comprehend life without this woman.

She felt his weight and slowed the machine down until it stopped then slowly slid backward, connecting with his chest. Wrapping an arm around her waist, he hugged her close, knowing she could feel his need for her through her thin excuse for clothes.

“Stone.” Her voice was breathless, and he felt her instant awareness of him. She sighed and leaned her head back against his shoulder.

He rubbed his chin against her forehead, inhaling the slight jasmine scent that always surrounded her. Kissing a small bead of sweat from the corner of her eye, he fought against the heartrending day looming on the horizon.

Swallowing against sudden panic, Stone trailed a line of kisses down her neck. He heard her gasp and whisper his name.

One hand gripped the silver bar of the treadmill while the other lazily explored her breasts, rubbing her hardened nipples through the thin cotton. She felt like heaven and tasted of honey.

He kissed the nape of her neck. Emma’s head dropped forward as she wiggled tighter against him making him groan.

Did she know how deeply he cared? How strong his love was?

He smiled to himself at the thought of her happiness. When Emma saw her father, she’d understand. His heart, his soul-they belonged to her.

“Why’re you smiling?” Emma spoke softly, closing her eyes and enjoying his touch.

“I’ve never considered making love on a treadmill before.”

She twisted around and grinned at him. “I couldn’t think of a better form of exercise.”

The glare of sun on white pasture streamed through the windows heating an already electrifying corner of the gym. Her sighs and soft words wrapped around him, exciting and enthralling.

“I love you,” she whispered.

All thought stopped, only the need to be one with Emma carried him forward. “I don’t have a condom,” he said, swearing silently.