The Fae Ring (19 page)

Her husband’s wings were gone again. He’d made a face of pain, but when she’d asked if he was physically hurting, Xander had told her he was fine.

Dawn arrived, the sun shy as it greeted the day, hiding behind fat white clouds. It was chilly, too. But Xander’s retreat was the reason for her tremors, not the wind that shifted her hair.

Janet stumbled, like she had in the forest, and he steadied her again. Her heart sank when he released her. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, lass.”

Lass. Not angel.

For the second time.

Hurt washed over her as he looked down the beach, away from her.

It was jarring seeing him without wings.

Maybe that’s what’s bothering him, despite what he’d said?

“Are you well?” she whispered.

He didn’t pause his stride, nor did he meet her eyes, even when she tugged on his hand. “Aye.”

“Your…magic? Do you mourn your wings?”

“I’m fine.” Xander smiled, but it was forced.

Janet’s mouth went dry and she sniffled. Loss hit her chest. Making it ache. “Xander…”

A shout went up, ripping her attention from the man she loved.

Her brothers ran toward them, Duncan’s kilt whipping in the wind as he jogged. Alex was on his heels, and her nephew behind his father, running on much shorter legs. Her father stood on the ridge, waving vigorously. Even in the distance, she could see his grin.

Duncan reached them first, sweeping her to him in a hard hug. Alex was next, embracing her with more care and kissing her cheek.

Janet laughed when Angus threw his arms around waist and squeezed.

“Aunt Janet! Aunt Janet!” the lad chanted.

She ruffled his dark hair and held him tight.

“Lass, are ye all right?” Alex asked.

Duncan cupped her face, his gaze searching. “Yer home.”

“Aye. Home.” Janet plastered on a smile for her brothers, but she felt Xander retreat even further, and bit her lip so she wouldn’t give in to the urge to cry.

“Welcome home, brother.” Alex, ever the diplomatic one, threw his hand out to Xander and gave him a hard shake.

“Thank ye fer bringing our sister home,” Duncan echoed, patting him on the shoulder. “Now I can call ye brother.”

She sucked in her cheek and blinked.

Xander smiled, but it was strained. If her brothers noticed, they didn’t react.

Angus left her side to embrace Xander, and at least her husband accepted the lad’s affection and returned it.

Something is still wrong.

Janet needed to be alone with him so they could talk.

Dread and loss churned in her belly.

They were home.

Should this not be a joyous occasion?

“Come, come. Alana is anxious to see you both,” Alex said.

“Come to me, lass,” their father called from the ridge. “I’ve yet to see ye!”

Janet obeyed, hugging her father when she reached his side.

“I’m glad yer home, Janie.”

She smiled, and it was genuine, but the childhood nickname only made her think of when Xander called her by it.

“Let’s go home!” Angus pumped his arm with his shout, and the men chuckled.

Her family was smothering her. Again.

Janet dislodged from all the hugs and love, her eyes searching her husband out. He’d hugged his cousin, but then stayed in the corner whilst everyone fussed over them both.

“Everything okay?”

She tore her gaze away from Xander, meeting Claire’s green eyes. Forced yet another smile. “Aye. Glad to be home.”

Her sister-by-marriage rubbed her distended tummy and nodded. “I’m glad. I missed you. And Duncan was beside himself with worry.”

“He needn’t have worried. I was with Xander.”

Claire nodded. “I know. I trusted he’d bring you home. Are you excited about the wedding?”

Janet reared back. “Wedding?”

A blush lit Claire’s high cheekbones. “Uh oh…” Her sister-by-marriage shifted on her feet. “Um, I guess no one told you? Mairi and Alana planned everything. Even had a gown made. It’s tomorrow. I probably wasn’t supposed to spill the beans.”

“Nay, it’s fine. Perfect.”
Or, it would be if everything was right with Xander.
Janet smiled, because she didn’t like the way Claire was looking at her.

“You sure you’re okay? You’re flushed. Maybe you should take a bath and get some sleep.”

“I’m well, but tha’ sounds heavenly.”

Claire visibly relaxed. “Good. I’ll have Mairi order you a bath.”

“Nay, nay, I’ll do it.” Movement took her attention, and Janet saw Xander slip from the room. “I will see you at midday meal.” She hurried out of the solar without waiting for Claire’s answer.

He ignored her first call to him in the corridor. Janet jogged to catch up, following him into his quarters. Her husband whirled on her when she shut the door with a
thud
, a slam she’d not intended.

“You shouldn’t be here. Your brother will kill me,” Xander said.

“I’m no’ concerned about Duncan. I’m concerned about you. And me.”

“All is well.”

“It isna’, and you well know it. Talk to me, Xander.”

He reared back as if she’d hit him. “Lass—”

“Don’ shut me out. We’re home. We can wed and move on with our lives.” Her ring glowed a pale blue, as if it agreed.

Her husband fell silent, but he closed his eyes.

Although she felt nothing but an echo from the bond, she could sense his pain. Janet closed the distance between them and reached for his hand. Hurt rebounded back when he pulled away. “Xander, wha’—?”

“How can you
want
to touch me?” His fair brows were drawn tight, a frown marring his handsome face.

“What?” It was Janet’s turn to frown.

“After—” His voice broke on the word and it dawned on her what he was referring to.

Xander had passed out when she’d been naked in front of the two Fae Warriors.
Before
his father had stormed into the bailey.

“They didna rape me.”

His violet gaze searched her face. He said nothing.

“They didna. I promise.”

She’d expected relief, but he didn’t show any. Janet wished the bond was open, so she could get a sense of what he was feeling. She got no clues from his expression.

“I should’ve protected you.”

“You did. You got us home.”

Xander’s mouth was a hard line. He shook his head and took a step back, averting his violet eyes.

“I don’ understand,” she whispered.

“You should just…go.”

Hurt and anger boiled up from her gut. “You pushed me away in the dungeon when all I wanted was you. All I could see was you.
You
hurt me more than they could have. Over somethin’ you
assumed
. Mayhap you shoulda asked
me
instead of pushin’ me away.” She waited for him to answer, but when he still wouldn’t look her way, she planted her hands at her sides so she wouldn’t smack him.

“I failed you.” The words were so low she almost missed it.

Her stomach flipped. “Shouldna I be the judge of tha’?”

“Nay. I shall.”

“You’re throwin’
us
away, for some weak self-pity?”

He winced, but didn’t defend himself.

Desperation hit her in waves. She
refused
to lose the man she loved over some misplaced sense of pride. But she wasn’t ready to put words to him aloud, either. Not when he wouldn’t look her in the eye.

Janet pictured the golden mating bond. She imagined picking it up, holding it close, clung to the memory if seeing it disappear into her chest, watching it do the same to Xander. She sucked in a breath and called the magic to her, feeling warmth rush her chest, envelope her like when they’d bonded.

Then she focused on Xander, mentally offering him the bond, throwing it at him in her mind.

Her husband’s violet eyes went wide. Xander shook his head.

He’s rejecting me.

Rejecting our bond.

Pain crashed down, squeezed her chest and stole her breath. “Nay,” Janet whispered. “
You
said we were fated.
You
said we were meant ta be.
You
said you wouldna fight this. Wha’ of your vow now?”

“It’s better this way, lass.” Misery saturated his voice, but she didn’t care.

“Lass? I though’ I was your angel?”

The apple of his throat bobbed, his lips parted, but he didn’t speak.

A sob threatened but she wouldn’t cry in front of him. “You care nothin’ fer me?”

She waited what felt like a lifetime.

Still the man who was supposed to be
hers
for the rest of their lives said nothing.

Janet swallowed, but she couldn’t keep the tears at bay. She fled his room, where she shouldn’t have been alone with him in the first place.

She ran down the corridor, seeking her own room, not stopping when Duncan called her name. Janet passed the solar, and her father’s ledger room, finally reaching the solace of her chamber. She slammed the door and leaned on it, her chest heaving from agony, as well as the sprint.

The gorgeous pale blue wedding gown laid out on her bed, right on top of the MacLeod tartan, made her heart ache. The fabric shimmered in the sunlight streaming in through the window.

Tears fell freely and her vision blurred.

Suddenly her rooms weren’t any place she wanted to be.

How could fate have failed me so badly?

The knock on the door jarred her awake, and Janet rolled over in bed. The sun was no longer streaming into her rooms. She must’ve cried herself to sleep…hours ago? She was on her feet with the second knock, and her stomach fluttered.

Xander?

“Janet?”

Her heart sank as the door opened. The last person she wanted to see was her sister-by-marriage. Alana entered the room without permission, but took one look at Janet and froze just inside. Her violet eyes were wide. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothin’.”

Her sister-by-marriage shook her head. “Magic, remember. I feel your pain. Your loss. What did Xander do?”

“Nothin’.” Repetition did nothing to clear the princess’s expression.

“I came to see if you liked your wedding gown.” Alana pointed to the dress, which was balled up on a chair by the fireplace.

“Doesna’ look like I’ll be needin’ tha’.” Janet swallowed the sob that accompanied her words.

Alana frowned, straightening the pale blue shimmery gown, and laying it on Janet’s bed. “What are you talking about? Tell me what happened.”

Janet shook her head, but her sister-by-marriage sat on the bed and patted an open space of MacLeod tartan beside her. Her body responded against her will, and before she knew it, Alana had slipped an arm around her waist and squeezed.

“I love him,” she blurted. Tears formed and spilled. She sniffled, but more flowed.

Alana rubbed her arm. “I can feel it. And I’m so glad.”

“He doesna’ want me anamore.”

“What?” Her sister-by-marriage’s eyes flashed.

She launched into everything that happened when they were in the Realm of the Fae. Janet omitted their lovemaking, but Alana was astute. Probably wouldn’t fool her.

The former princess winced when she retold the near-rape, and shared her astonishment regarding Xander’s parents helping them escape.

When she explained subduing the bond, and Xander declaring how he’d failed her, Alana wore a scowl like none Janet had seen before.

“I shall have a word with him.”

Embarrassment hit Janet and she pulled away from the comfort of Alana’s arm, grasping both of her hands and tugging. “Nay. Please…just leave it. I’ll…be fine.”

“Mating bonds do not operate like that, sister.”

“What?”

“You can shut the magic out, but only for so long. Subduing is the same as denying. You will both be miserable, perhaps physically sick.”

Heat crept up Janet’s neck and she averted her gaze. “We…consummated the bond.”

Alana’s low laugh had her meeting violet eyes she wanted to avoid, because they were too much like Xander’s. “I figured.”

Janet’s cheeks burned even more.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell Alex, let alone Duncan. Tis none of their concern. However,
neither
will take to postponing the wedding.”

Her heart skipped. “I don’ want to postpone it. I want ta be his wife,” Janet whispered.

Alana’s smile was soft, empathetic. “You already are, sister.”

“I’m no’ Fae. My brothers—and my father—willna accept that. We need a priest.”

“Aye, I know it. We’ll have one. He’s to arrive tonight. The wedding and the feast are all planned for the morrow.”

“I doona’ have a husband.”

“Yet, you don’t want me to speak to my cousin?”

“I donna’ want his hand forced.” Janet’s voice broke. She wiped her face.

Alana hugged her tight. “But sister, fate has already done so. The two of you belong together—quite literally.”

“Well, if only Xander realized that.”

Her sister-by-marriage’s mouth set in a determined line Janet didn’t like. “Please donna’ speak with him.”

“I’ll see you at evening meal. Come down to the great hall.” Alana rose from the bed and inclined her head. The princess ignored Janet when she called her name, shutting the door quietly.

“I’m goin’ ta kill him. Move ou’ of my way. I don’ want ta have ta contend wit’ my brother if I move ye myself, Alana.”

“I’m taking care of this, Duncan.” His cousin’s firm voice made Xander snort.

Dinner had been a horrid affair full of glares from the MacLeod twins. They probably didn’t know what exactly had happened between him and Janet, but they knew all was not well. They’d seen his wife crying, no doubt.

He should tell Alana to allow their brother-by-marriage into his room. Death would be a blessing.

Nay. Then I’ll fail her even more.

His magic—and his wings—were gone again. He’d been torn bare. Vulnerable in a way
other
than the hurt concerning his fated mate. He’d lied to Janet when he’d denied mourning his wings.