The Eidolon (26 page)

I feel sick. The room’s stacked with crates and boxes. No tables, no chairs, no Eidolon. I walk over to the fireplace. The large lintel’s still there, but it’s cold. There hasn’t been a fire here for a long time. Two chairs, one stacked on top of the other, where the coals should be. I turn back to Cora, slowly.

She’s standing with her arms wrapped round her, watching me with a look that’s something between pity and wariness.

“It was here, before. This is where I spoke to them...”

She bites her lip.

“Cora, I mean it.”

“I believe that you believe it,” she says.

Great.

T
HE BARMAID HAS
a smirk on her face as we pass her. Easiest twenty euros she’s ever made. I just want to get out of here. I hold the door open for Cora and let her out, when I catch sight of someone. He’s sitting alone in the corner, a mop of black hair, a lopsided face. He watches me as he sips his beer.

I stride towards him, leaning over the table and into his face, keeping my voice low. “What is it you want?”

His voice is like gravel. “You already know.”

“You stay away from me, you hear me? Just stay away.”

His lip curls up at one end as he watches me, unperturbed.

“Robert...” whispers Cora. I feel her hand inside mine, pulling me away towards the door. I let it swing back and it clatters shut behind us.

“Who was he?”

“Amos is tailing me.”

We walk on in silence. Then she says, “I’m sorry, Robert.”

I can’t speak.

“I don’t know what you saw back there, but... I’m sorry you didn’t find them.”

“Don’t worry about it. Let’s just go back to the apartment.”

“L
OOK,
”
SAYS
C
ORA
when I hand her a mug of coffee in the kitchen. She wraps her hands around it, the sleeves of her jumper sitting low so that only her fingers are poking out. “I don’t know what to make of the dreams I’ve been having, but I know I saw Sarah that day in our flat. If you say you saw Michael Casimir today, then I believe you.”

“There was nothing there, Cora. We both saw that.” I slam the fridge door shut and turn to her. “Maybe it’s just guilt. I don’t want to be the one who sabotages CERN, why would I? But if I don’t... Maybe I’m just making things up to talk myself out of it.”

“So what happened to you this afternoon?” she says. “Where were you?”

“Maybe I didn’t go out. Maybe I dreamt it. It’s just” – I shake my head – “it seemed so real.” I feel afraid of myself, and it scares me.

She puts her arms around me and I feel the warmth of her embrace, and breathe in the scent of her hair. She’s the only thing I understand right now. I stare at the wooden floorboards, polished to perfection. It feels like I’m stuck in twilight, that time when it’s neither night nor day, just something indistinct, in between.

I can’t go on like this. I need to regain control.

I have to make a choice.

My phone buzzes in my pocket. My dad’s number. I walk over to the window to take the call, glancing below. It’s raining and the drops drift down like golden glitter in the street light.

“Robert?”

“Yeah.”

“Let’s get this done.”

“Where are you?”

“In my office. When can you get here?”

I glance at my watch and then at Cora. She takes out the chocolate she lifted from the cafe. She eats it as she smoothes out the foil wrapper, and wraps it around her index finger, making a little golden goblet. Her habit. “Ten p.m.” I say.

“Okay. Same as before. I’ll text you when you’re clear.”

I walk over to Cora and take her silver ring from my pocket. Lifting her hair aside, I tie it around her neck, so that it sits in the hollow between her collar bones. “It suits you,” I say.

“I know.” She kisses me on the lips. “It always did.”

“I need to go.”

She pulls away. “Where?”

“I’ll be back in a while.”

“You’re not going through with this, are you?”

“Cora, we both saw that there was nothing in that attic today. It didn’t happen. It’s guilt, nothing more. I just need to get over it.”

I take out the notebook and email Lambert.
Going live 22.00 tonight.

He replies immediately
. Got that. Good luck.

“Wait, Robert. You need to think about this. Even if it was just your imagination, it’s telling you something. Listen to it.”

“I was never going to feel good about this. But if I don’t go through with it... I can’t walk away, Cora. It’s too important. There’s too much at stake.”

“Please, Robert. At least talk it through with your dad.”

I don’t reply, but go over to the window and check the street below. There’s no sign of anyone. “I’ll be back soon.” I kiss her again and leave.

Chapter Fourteen

M
EYRIN
H
IGHWAY IS
almost clear of traffic. The bike handles well, even in the wet. The moon dips in and out of a bank of thick cloud. I turn into the main entrance, half an hour early, and consider turning back onto the highway to mark time when I see him again. The headlight sweeps past him on the bend, as he walks in the opposite direction, lurching in his characteristic rolling gate, the silhouette of his long coat flapping in the patchy moonlight. His head turns as I pass. I drive on then pull the bike to the side of the road, and glance back. He’s making his way towards ATLAS. Keeping my distance, I see him walk in through the entrance. I check my watch. Twenty minutes to spare. I turn back, leave the bike by the entrance and follow him. Only two cars are parked here, and one of them is my dad’s silver Volvo. I swipe my entry card and step inside.

There’s no sign of him inside. I stop, listening, then hear uneven footsteps on the stairs. Glancing up, I can see the tail of his coat as it disappears onto the next level, into the office corridor. There’s a sudden clatter and the sound of glass smashing. I take the rest of the stairs two at a time to the first floor. The lights are on in the office corridor, but the control room is locked up, and my dad’s office sits in darkness. There’s no sign of him, and it’s eerily quiet. A framed photograph is lying on the floor, splinters of glass surrounding it. I pick it up, turning it over to let the remaining glass fall to the floor. Quick footsteps come from the end of the corridor and my pulse picks up. I try my dad’s door, but it’s locked. Florence appears at the top of the hallway.

She gasps and places a hand across her chest. “Oh, you scared me. I didn’t think anyone else was in. What happened?” She fusses towards me and takes the broken picture from my hand.

“Where did he go?”

“Professor Stiller?”

I check the office doors, but they’re all locked, then pace up to the end of the corridor, to where Florence came from. There’s no-one there.

“No. There was a man here, long coat, dark hair, just a minute ago.”

“I haven’t seen anyone.”

“You couldn’t have missed him, Florence. He broke the picture – I heard it when I came upstairs.”

“Honestly, I haven’t seen anyone else. I’m just getting some last minute things done before Monday. It’s all locked up, and I’ve got the keys.”

“Is there any other way out of here?”

“No. Do you want me to call security?”

“
No.
No. That’s okay. Maybe I imagined it.”

“You’re in very late.”

“Yeah... making the most of it.”

She looks down at the photo in her hands. “It’s a shame. But I’ll get it fixed when I get back.”

I look at the picture, a group photo. I recognise Rene, Jack and my dad and...

“It was taken at one of our family days. They’re ever so much fun.”

“Is that Professor Thorpe?” I point at the tall wiry man in the front row with the tangled black hair.

“Yes, that’s Professor Thorpe, bless him. And his wife.” She points to a small, dark haired, dumpy woman. He has his arm around her. “Poor woman. She’ll never get over it.”

“That’s not his wife.”

“Yes, that’s Olivia.”

“No, I’ve met her – she’s blonde and, eh, slim.”

She chuckles. “No, not Olivia. She’s been battling with the bulge for years now, poor thing. It’s all that pasta, if you ask me.”

I stare at her. “Are you sure?”

“Of course. I’ve known her for years.”

Holy fuck.

“Excuse me.”

“You’ve still got those papers to sign!” she calls after me.

“I’ll get to them, Florence.”

I
PUSH THROUGH
the door into the car park, my heart hammering. I can barely press the digits on my phone.

“It’s me. We need to talk.”

“Later, Robert. We’re all set. Ten minutes.”

“No. Meet me at the church. Now.”

I
HEAR THE
sound of the tyres crunching and see the headlights swing into the driveway of the church. I leave my helmet on the bike and wait for him to approach, then lead him inside. I can’t see who’s in the shadows in the church grounds, and I don’t want to be overheard.

The old dark wooden doors whine as I push them open. It’s empty. Columns line the aisle and statues sit in the alcoves, looking down with blank faces, listening. The pews are old, dark wood. A shaft of moonlight slices in from the high, arched, stained glass window, dust motes dancing within in. A single red candle glows on the altar.

“Make this quick, Robert. We don’t have much time.”

I turn to face him. “When did you last see Thorpe’s wife?”

“What?”

“Just answer the question.”

“The day they took him to hospital.”

“What colour is her hair?”

“Robert, is this really...”

“Tell me!”

“Black.”

“The woman I spoke to, who told me she was Thorpe’s wife, the woman who told me Thorpe believed that they’d created strangelets? She was tall, blonde, slim. It wasn’t his wife.”

“Is this why you called me here? To talk about Thorpe’s wife?”

“Don’t you get it? Amos set me up! Tell me this. Did Thorpe create strangelets with a five sigma certainty?”

He stares back at me.

“Answer me!”

“No.”

“So... so all we’ve been doing is based on bullshit?”

“It’s irrelevant now, Robert. We need to finish the job.”

“
Irrelevant?
What are you talking about? If Thorpe’s paper was fake, there
is
no threat!”

“There is to you, if we don’t finish this.”

“Am I hearing this?”

“Think about it! Amos has the worm – you gave him that. If we don’t release it,
he will
.”

“They don’t have admin access off site. He needs me to release it from inside CERN.”

“And when did you last speak to him? Three days ago? More? His team will be over it like a rash. He’ll get his connection in time. But if we don’t uphold our end of the bargain, he’ll find us. And you don’t want to know what he’ll do to you if he does.”

“I don’t give a shit! I’m not doing it. I’m not selling myself for a pack of lies. And you? How can you even consider it?”

“Please, Robert, you don’t know what he’s capable of. I didn’t mean to drag you into any of this – if I’d just done what he’d asked, none of this would have happened.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“The only reason you’re here is that I refused to agree to the sabotage when Amos first approached me. I’ve drip-fed him information for years, but I drew the line at this. Then he recruited you. It left me with no other option than to give him what he wanted.” The colour drains from his face so that, for a moment, he looks like one of the statues.

“Why are you so afraid of him? What has he got over you?”

“Thorpe’s illness wasn’t just bad luck.”

I pause. “He did that to him?”

“They create all kinds of things at ORB. I won’t let him do to you what he did to me.”

“What did he do to you?”

He stares past me, vacant, unblinking, and his eyes glisten.

I step closer. “Dad? What did he do to you?”

“He broke into my mind.”

“What?”

“There was another part of the deal when he bailed me out. They were experimenting with something and they needed a test subject. He’s so persuasive. It sounded straightforward to begin with, observing mood and linking it to action, but then it got more serious. They began to control how I felt. It was like being chained to something dark – I didn’t have the will to break free. I lost six months.” He looks up. “That’s the reason I never contacted you. Every time I tried, he’d trigger it, and I’d be back there, in that place. I’ve never felt despair like it. That’s why I tried to take my own life – I couldn’t take it anymore. After that, the doctors locked me up.”

“Did you tell them what he did?”

He nods. “The authorities looked into it, but they couldn’t find any evidence that Amos existed. In the end they put it down to psychosis and kept me on depot injections until I learned to deny everything I’d said, because I knew it would get me out.” His eyes focus on mine. “I won’t let him do that to you. We don’t have a choice, Robert.”

“No. We do have a choice. I’m not doing it.”

He takes me by the shoulders. “I took all this so that you wouldn’t have to! Don’t make it be for nothing. You can’t fight him, Robert. He’s too powerful.”

“Maybe, but I’m not giving in before I’ve started.”

Exasperated, he drops his hands and turns away, staring up at one of the statues. “I don’t think you understand how powerful he is. Do you think it’s a coincidence that SightLabs was shut down?”

“He told me it was a political decision.”

“A political decision based on his instructions to the politicians. He has a
way
of getting what he wants. He’s not the man you think he is. He’ll stop the experiments whether we do it or not. And in the grand scheme of things, history will forget, and science will find another way. But if we don’t do what he asks, he will find us. Please, I can’t lose you, not again.”

“You won’t. We’ll get Cora and we’ll go somewhere where we can figure out what we do next.”