The Devil's Thief (22 page)

Lady
Linville visibly relaxed. “Oh, that is good to know.” She rubbed Julianna’s arm
companionably and Julianna sniffed several times, fighting the emotion brought
on by that motherly touch. “When you are ready, Julianna,” she told her
quietly, “you may tell us. But do not wait too long. We would like to help
while it is still prudent to do so, and not when it is too late to do much
good.” She hugged her awkwardly with one arm. “Do not despair, my dear. All is
not lost, it is only misplaced.” She smiled tentatively.

Julianna
nodded miserably. If she was with child, she would have to tell them
everything, and they would make him marry her. And then he would hate her for
all eternity. And she would probably still love him, like the complete fool she
apparently was, which was very, very disheartening. She had always thought she
was above such foolish things.

“Lord
what fools these mortals be!” Shakespeare had written, although not in
Romeo and Juliet.
But the sentiment
still applied.

*
         
*
         
*

“Hil,
am I a good man?” Alasdair asked quietly, standing at Hil’s large window
looking out at the street, which was bathed in the misty hues of dusk. He’d
wandered around for hours after leaving Julianna and he’d ended up here.

“What
a foolish question.” Hil sounded amused. “Who is to say what is good and what
is bad? I for one would say you are a good man, one of the best. But there are
some who would say that I would not recognize a good man were he to punch me in
the nose.”

Alasdair
could not summon even a grin. “Are not good men judged so by their actions?” he
mused, feeling somehow detached from what had happened with Julianna today.

“Unfortunately,
yes,” Hil answered, coming to stand next to him. He looked out on the street
with Alasdair, as if that ever-darkening thoroughfare might lead them to
enlightenment.

“Why
‘unfortunate’?” Alasdair asked, turning to look at his friend.

Hil
met his gaze briefly and then they both turned back to the window. It was dark
enough now that Alasdair could watch Hil’s reflection in the window as he
answered.

“Unfortunate
because a man’s actions often do not reflect what resides inside him. I believe
that it is not actions that determine the man, but the motivation behind them.”
Hil looked at Alasdair in the window. “What motivates you,
Sharp
?”

Alasdair
looked away and shook his head. “I no longer know. And you?”

Hil
laughed quietly. “Well, I am no saint, no matter what name I was given.”

 
“Are you a devil then?” Alasdair asked
with a reluctant smile.

 
“No. I am neither. I am just a man. A
little of both, forever condemned to walk the earth and suffer the indignities
of both heaven and hell.”

At
that Alasdair laughed grimly. He spun away from the window and walked
unsteadily over to a large chair. “Indignities,” he said as he sat down. “Yes,
that is the right word, Hil. How undignified we all are.”

Hil
turned to face him, sitting on the edge of the window frame. “They do indeed
have the same root meaning.”

 
“Yes, let’s turn this into a grammar
lesson,” Alasdair said with a snort. “How astute of you to know that was what I
needed right now.”

Hil
tipped his head to the side, but his face was completely in shadows, his
expression hidden. “I was not aware I was required to know what you needed at
any particular time of the day. However, if you need something from me, then by
all means ask. I will do what I can to accommodate you. But I will refer you
back to my earlier statement. I am only a man. Do not ask what I am incapable
of giving.”

“How
about forgiveness?”

Hil
said nothing for a moment. “Is my forgiveness the one you should be seeking?”

Alasdair
laughed, and even he could hear the utter despair in it. Letting his head fall
to the back of the chair, he covered his face with his hands for a moment. Once
he had himself under control he let them fall. Perhaps he wasn’t so detached
after all. “No,” he answered shakily, “it is not.”

Rising
from his perch at the window, Hil sighed heavily. He walked over and lit a lamp
on his desk, creating a circle of light and warmth before he sat down in the
large, ornate leather chair behind it.

“What
have you done, Alasdair?”

Alasdair
looked over at him in surprise. Hil rarely used his given name. “Am I to be
judged by my actions?”

 
“I cannot answer that,” Hil said calmly.
“I do not know what those actions are, or what motivated you.”

“Anger.
Anger motivated me.” Alasdair rubbed his hand along the arm of the chair, the
red upholstery rough under his fingertips. “And jealousy.”

“That
rarely bodes well.” Hil leaned back in his chair, resting his elbows on the
arms and steepling his fingers beneath his chin. “Tell me.”

Suddenly
Alasdair was tired. He was tired of the anger and the jealousy, the suspicions
and the accusations. He was tired of not laughing with Julianna. They had
laughed and teased that first night, sharing more than physical intimacy. He
wanted that again.
With Julianna.
But he couldn’t
imagine that she would forgive his actions today.

“How
can I ask her forgiveness?” he whispered.

Hil
toyed with a pen on his desk, running the feather through his fingers. “That
depends. Did you step on her foot? Run over her cat? Steal her virginity?”

Alasdair
glared at him. “That was unnecessary.”

“I
did not use
fuck
and
Miss Harte
in the same sentence.” Hil
leaned forward, frowning fiercely. “Dammit, Alasdair, what did you do? I merely
mentioned her virginity to remind you that you have done worse, and she has
more than forgiven you. Yet you act as if this new transgression is even more
heinous.”

“I
stole her free will,” Alasdair said wearily. “I took her innocence and her
trust and I violated her in the most unforgivable fashion.”

Hil
threw down his pen and rose from his chair. He walked around the desk and came
to stand directly in front of Alasdair. His face gave nothing away. “Stand up,”
he said calmly.

Hil
backed up a few steps to give Alasdair room to stand. As he did, he gave Hil a
questioning look. The punch took him completely by surprise. He fell sideways,
knocking his hip against the chair, and then tumbled to the ground, his jaw on
fire. He lay there stunned.

“Feel
better?” Hil asked tightly. “I know I do.” He walked back over to his chair and
took a seat. “Now you had better get up and tell me what the hell you did. If I
have something to answer for here, I’d like to know it.”

Alasdair
laughed weakly and rubbed his jaw as he rolled to his knees. “Actually, I do
feel better.” He had to lean on the chair’s arm to hoist
himself
from the floor. Hil packed quite a punch for a scholar. “I deserved that.” He
fell into the chair. “But I don’t see why you would have anything to answer
for, Hil. Whatever happened, I did, and I must face the consequences and make
it right.”

“The
fact that you deserved it is not in question.” Hil tapped his fingers on his
desk. “You have acted the ass for the past week as far as Miss Harte is
concerned. If you have crossed the line, then I need to know about it, Sharp. I
condoned your behavior and encouraged your pursuit of her because I thought you
were an honorable man with honorable intentions, who would acknowledge his
mistakes and ultimately do the intelligent thing. To realize that I was
mistaken is a great disappointment, and a source of great concern. Do we need
to go visit her father this evening? Should I be anticipating his outraged
knock on my door, or worse, a visit from the constables, all tracking you down
like a common criminal?”

“No,”
Alasdair told him, facing him squarely across the desk. “No one will come
looking for me. It isn’t her way. She didn’t understand that what I did was
wrong.”

At
that Hil stopped his tapping and narrowed his gaze on Alasdair. “What do you
mean?”

Sighing
deeply, Alasdair rubbed his jaw some more. Talking actually hurt a bit. “She is
the innocent I first believed her to be, Hil. She doesn’t understand that what
I did in anger, what I did against her protestations, was a violation, no
matter how she felt, no matter what pleasure she took from it in spite of her
pleas.”

“I
never believed you could be a bastard,
Sharp
, until
right now.”

Hil’s
softly spoken words cut like a knife. But Alasdair deserved that, too. “Perhaps
it is your forgiveness I should seek after all,” he said quietly.

“That
is for her to give, not I. And if she is so inclined, then I can do naught but
follow suit.” He was gripping the edge of the desk tightly. “But hear this,
Sharp. You had best make this right. If you do not, then I will. And you will
rue the day. I was under no obligation to reveal her identity to you the other
night. When I made that choice, I did not give her to you lightly. I entrusted
her to you, and you have not only violated her trust, but mine. I will not
trust you again. I will not call you friend until this has been satisfactorily
concluded. Do you understand?”

Alasdair
nodded once. He rose and was almost out the door when Hil got in one parting
shot.

“I
do judge you by your actions, Sharp. And I judge you to be a fool.”

It
didn’t have quite the impact Hil was hoping for, however. Alasdair spoke
without turning around. “Of course I am a fool, Hil. I am a man in love. Is
that not the same thing?”

He
left the room before Hil could answer.

Chapter Fourteen

Julianna
awoke to the sound of a
thump
and a
muffled curse. She was startled, but not frightened.

“Who
the hell puts a bloody chair in front of their window?” Alasdair whispered
harshly.

Julianna
leaned over so that she could see him. “Lots of people,” she answered calmly.
“It is a common occurrence, I believe.”

With
a jerk of his head, Alasdair looked over at her in surprise. “I didn’t realize
you were awake.”

She
sat up and tidied the blankets over her lap. “I wasn’t,” she replied as she
leaned over and lit the candle on the small table beside her bed. She adjusted
her pillow behind her and reclined against it. “Is this the part where I say, ‘Unless
you’d care to be shot this evening, I wouldn’t move if I were you’?”

To
her utter relief Alasdair laughed. “Yes, I believe that was my line.”

“Well,
I don’t sleep with a gun in hand, so I’m afraid you’ll have to settle for, Stop,
thief!” she cried out in a theatrical whisper.

Alasdair
laughed again, and Julianna had never heard anything so wonderful. He was
dressed all in black. Boots, breeches, shirt, loosely tied cravat; his blond
curls were even covered with a black kerchief that was tied in the back. “You
look like a brigand.”

He
smiled wolfishly. “Do I? I tried to copy what you were wearing the night we
met.” He winced. “Well, that night.” He set the chair back up. “You do realize that
you do not have a conveniently placed balcony, don’t you?” He turned and walked
toward the bed. “I had to climb a tree and edge along the brick ledge.”

Julianna
nodded with a serious expression. “Yes, I’ve been meaning to discuss that with
father. It is a concern. How on earth am I to sneak about at night otherwise?”

“You
are not,” Alasdair said very seriously, sitting down on the edge of the bed
next to her. “I do not want you sneaking anywhere.”

“Hmm,”
Julianna said, looking down as she picked at the blanket. “It didn’t turn out
too badly the last time, did it?”

Alasdair’s
hand covered hers, stilling the restless movement of her fingers. “I don’t
know. Did it?” His voice was quiet and hesitant. He was hurting.

Julianna
turned her hand so she could hold his. “No, it didn’t. Not for me.” She looked
up at him then.

“Nor
for me,” he responded in a husky voice.

“Alasdair,
what are you doing here?” As far as conciliatory gestures went, breaking into
her bedroom in the same fashion she had into his was quite romantic of him. She
hoped romance was what he was striving for.

“I
came to apologize.” He took a breath to say more, but Julianna cut him off.

“Accepted.”

He
closed his mouth and his lips quirked in a wry smile. “Yes, well, I had
rehearsed a whole speech. It was quite moving, actually.”

Julianna
scooted closer and walked her fingers up his arm. “I’m moved. Truly I am.” She
stopped when she got to the large muscle of his upper arm. He leaned closer,
resting his weight on that arm, and she felt the muscle flex and bunch. She
wrapped her hand around as much of his arm as she could, the sheer strength and
maleness of him overwhelming her. Looking up, she saw a bruise on his jaw. She
ran a finger over it gently. “What happened?”