The Determining (29 page)

In her room, she pulled on her jeans and an olive green sweater. Walking into the bathroom, she checked her reflection in the mirror one last time. The makeup had done its job. She couldn’t see any of the healing bruises. A small scab jutting through her lip served as the only proof of the attack. Satisfied with her appearance, she pulled on her coat and slid her tablet and phone into her bag.

Thayer appeared in the office doorway before she had the chance to knock. All traces of worry were gone. He reached a hand out to her. “This is for you.”

Charlie looked at the silver metal stick in his hand. It was about five inches long with a pointed end. Groves spiraled along its length, making it easier to grip. “What is it?”

“A kubotan.” Thayer placed it in her hand. “For self-defense.”

She rolled it in her hand, the heat from her skin warming the cold metal. An inexplicable feeling of power flowed through her. “How am I supposed to use it?”

“For now, just make sure you hit an attacker with the pointed end. I’ll show you more techniques later.”

She glanced up at him. The fact that he was concerned enough about her to give her a weapon made Charlie’s stomach flip. “Thank you.”

He nodded. “Are you ready to go?”

Charlie hadn’t realized how much her nightmares had affected her until she stepped out of the apartment. Without a locked door shielding her from the world, she felt vulnerable. Entering the elevator, her anxiety mounted. Thayer stepped in behind her, pushing the button for the lobby. She ignored his eyes trained on her. Her focus locked on the decreasing numbers above the door as they plunged downward. The closer she came to the outside world, the sweatier her palms grew. Just because Richard hadn’t been waiting for her at the apartment didn’t mean he wasn’t outside the building or at school. The elevator slowed to a stop. She didn’t move.

“Charlotte?” Thayer’s voice seemed loud in the small space.

She couldn’t let her fear keep her trapped in the apartment. She needed to prove she was stronger than this. She’d clipped the kubotan to her school bag before leaving and now found herself gripping it. The feel of metal between her fingers took the edge off her fear.

“Let’s go.” Taking a deep breath, she stepped into the lobby.

It was obvious that Thayer sensed her fear. Taking her arm, he tucked it in his. “There may be reporters outside. You don’t need to talk to them, but don’t forget that we have to convince them our relationship is… genuine.”

His words punched through her, leaving behind an aching wound. A lump rose in her throat as she nodded her consent.

He opened the lobby doors and bright flashes assaulted them. Reporters shouted their names, calling questions that she couldn’t make out in the chaos.

“Smile,” he whispered.

Charlie jumped at the unexpected sensation of Thayer’s breath tickling her ear. She glanced at him. He wore a self-assured smile. She returned the expression, ignoring the shouts for them to kiss.

With a gentle hand on her lower back, he guided her through the crowd toward a sleek car with tinted windows. A driver stepped out of the front seat and opened the door for them. Charlie slipped in, making room for Thayer to join her. Both inside, the driver wasted no time in sliding behind the wheel and peeling away from the curb.

“To the University first, sir?” The chauffer glanced at them in the mirror. Looking at his reflection, Charlie had the distinct sense that she’d seen him before. She dismissed the thought.

“Yes, Liam.”

“Very good.” Liam nodded, turning back to the road.

Charlie focused her gaze on the street. She searched the faces on the sidewalk. When she realized it was Richard she searched for, she felt ridiculous. He wasn’t out on the street. If he were anywhere, he would be tailing behind their car. She resisted the urge to turn.

She startled when Thayer slid his hand over hers. Turning away from the window, she glanced down at their hands before shooting him a confused look. He smiled at her before pushing a button that raised the partition between them and Liam.

“What are you doing?” Little tickles of pleasure traveled through her.

His serious eyes watched at her. “We have two more days until I leave. I didn’t want to share our moments together with anyone.” His thumb rubbed back and forth against her knuckles.

“Oh.” The air whooshed from her lungs.

“What time do you get out of class?”

Charlie fought to focus on his words rather than the feeling of his thumb caressing her skin. “Around four. Why?”

“I thought we should celebrate tonight.” He winked at her.

“You mean to show everyone that our marriage is ‘real?’” She pulled her hand away, crossing her arms against her chest.

“It doesn’t hurt if people think it’s true.” Thayer frowned, looking confused by her reaction. “But I was really thinking we should celebrate your return to the real world.” He paused. “Unless you don’t want to.”

“No.” She sighed, twisting her ring. “I’d like to go out.”

He reached out, capturing her hand again. His finger brushed across her ring. “You play with this when you’re nervous. Did you know that?” He laced his fingers through hers, shooting her a charming grin. “It’s cute.”

“You’ve been watching me,” she accused in a light tone.

He shrugged. “You’re fun to watch.”

Her curiosity peaked. “What other observations have you made?”

He thought about it for a moment. “You blush when you’re uncomfortable.”

“No I don’t!” A telltale blush warmed her cheeks, making Thayer chuckle. “What else?” she demanded.

“When you’re concentrating, you tend to wiggle your toes.”

Charlie laughed. “Do I really?”

“Yes,” Thayer answered with another grin. “I also find that cute.”

“A few days ago, you said I was hard to read,” she teased.

“I guess you could say I’ve been studying.”

Her mouth went dry and her heartbeat quickened. She liked that he’d been watching her. It worried her how much she liked it.

The car slowed to a halt. Seconds later, Liam opened the door.

“Your stop,” Thayer whispered.

“Right.” She snapped out of the haze she’d been in, grabbing her bag.

Thayer stepped out, offering her his hand. Neither of them let go once she’d exited the car. Instead they stood in front of the main building, hand in hand. He reached out to caresses her cheek. Slowly, as if not to alarm her, he leaned in. For a second, Charlie thought he might kiss her. Disappointment flooded her when his lips brushed her forehead rather than her mouth.

“I’ll meet you back here at four.” He pulled back and looked into her eyes. “Have a good day, Charlotte.”

“You too,” she managed.

He winked before getting back into the car. She watched Liam pull away from the curb. Her phone vibrated in her bag, jolting her back to reality. Embarrassed that she’d been standing at the curb staring off into the distance, Charlie scrambled to find her cell.

-Glad to see you’re back to school. It looks like the plan worked out better than you hoped.

Nemo. Charlie glanced around, searching for anyone with a phone. Almost every student held some sort of device capable of texting. The knowledge that Nemo could be close by made her uneasy. She started walking to class as she responded.

-You were right about the Lottery.

-Don’t get too comfortable. Your father won’t let you go so easily.

Charlie’s stomach dropped. Nemo knew the exact thing she feared.

-Are you trying to warn me?

-I’m encouraging you to be vigilant. The moment you get too comfortable is the moment things will get out of control.

Charlie entered the classroom. In her usual desk, she pulled her bag into her lap. She studied her shaking hands. Forcing herself to take a controlled breath, she typed a response.

-I’ll keep that in mind.

-Make sure you do.

Charlie barely had a chance to read Nemo’s last message before the professor strode into the room. He wasted no time in beginning the lecture. She tried her best to listen and though she didn’t miss a word the professor said, her mind comprehended nothing. She was too nervous to focus. Her thoughts kept wandering back to Nemo’s message, filling her with dread. More than once, she found herself reaching into her bag to grip the kubotan in her hand.

By the time her classes ended, Charlie felt like she’d been rung out. Her feet dragged as she made her way across campus. After Nemo’s text, she’d found herself glancing over her shoulder more than once, unable to shake the sense of someone watching her.

Her last class let out early. With half an hour to kill before Thayer came to get her, she planned to suck down as much caffeine as she could in the hopes that it might perk her up.

Walking to the coffee shop, her anxiety mounted. The hair on the back of her neck rose, making her glance back. The moment she shifted her eyes behind her, she ran into something solid.

“I’m sorry.” She whipped back around and froze. Drew stood in front of her. He looked awful. His skin appeared translucent. Dark circles made his eyes look sunken. Light stubble covered his face and his hair shone with grease.

“Charlotte.” He glowered at her.

“Drew, are you alright?” Charlie reached out, laying a hand on his arm.

The moment she touched him, he tensed. He looked down at the hand like it might bite him. His eyes narrowed to slits when he spotted the sparkling ring on her finger. He stepped out of her reach. “Fine.”

She tried to ignore his cold rebuff, fiddling with the ring. “Are you sure you’re alright?”

He scoffed. “Do you really have to ask? Your….” He trailed off. She noted his hands clench into fists. “The University is questioning my scholarship. So no, I’m not alright.”

“Oh, Drew.” Charlie’s heart sank.

When the Determining placed someone in a University, it meant that the individual either had the funds to pay for schooling or was in receipt of a scholarship that would cover the costs. It was rare that a University questioned a scholarship. But, when they did, the individual was stuck in limbo. Unable to follow any other career path, they were forced to seek loans in order to continue their studies. Even with his degree, Charlie knew Drew would never be able to pay back the school loans. The University cost too much. Thinking about this glaring flaw in the system, Charlie wondered how coincidental it actually was.

“I’m going to get some coffee. Do you want to come with me?” She couldn’t help the pity from seeping into her question.

He bristled, his eyes filling with fury. “I can’t. I have somewhere to be.” He moved around her, heading in the direction she’d just come.

“See you later,” she called after him, but he didn’t acknowledge her.

Preoccupied by her encounter, Charlie walked straight to the school entrance and skipped the coffee. She’d never seen Drew so angry, so hopeless. The dark circles under his eyes plagued her as she waited for Thayer.

When the car came into view, she breathed a sigh of relief. Liam jumped out and opened the door. “Good afternoon, Mrs. McLean.” He nodded.

“Thank you, Liam.” She stared at him, still feeling like she knew him somehow. She ignored the chill that raced up her spine and dismissed the coincidence with a shake of her head.

Thayer waited inside, a ready smile on his face. “How was your day?”

“I don’t want to talk about my day.” Charlie leaned her head back against the seat. “Let’s pretend it didn’t happen.”

He hesitated, clearly unsure whether to let the subject go or press her for more. “I can do that.” Taking her hand in his, he tormented her skin with his thumb like he had that morning.

“How are we celebrating tonight?” she asked, smiling at the prospect of a distraction.

“We can do whatever you’d like,” he offered.

Charlie didn’t want to think about anything, to make any decisions. “You pick.”

He grinned. “You might regret that.”

“I doubt it.”

Twenty minutes later, they walked hand in hand through Capitol Park. Thayer held two hotdogs in his free hand while Charlie carried a bag of popcorn.

“Of all the things you could have picked to do, I’m surprised you chose this.” She couldn’t suppress the smile straining the muscles in her face.

Thayer looked down at her, his blue eyes sparkling in the fading light. “You told me doing this with Hannah was one of your favorite memories.”

Charlie’s heart swelled at the gesture. “I didn’t think you would remember.” She steered them to an empty swing set. Reaching it, she let go of his hand and settled onto one of the seats.

He sat down next to her. “You surprise me, Charlotte. It takes a lot to surprise me.”

“Is that a good thing?” She pushed off the ground, swinging back and forth with the momentum.

“A very good thing.” His eyes followed her path as she moved past him. “You should eat your hotdog before it gets cold.”

Charlie dug her feet into the ground to stop herself. “Yes, dear,” she teased, accepting the hotdog he offered her.

They ate in silence. The sun sunk low behind the trees, leaving a hot pink and purple trail in its wake. As the light faded into darkness, street lamps flickered to life throughout the park. Electricity buzzed through them.

Charlie held the popcorn out to Thayer. He took a handful and tossed the kernels in the air one by one, catching them in his mouth. She chuckled when he missed a piece. It bounced off his nose, falling to the ground.

“You’re such a guy,” she laughed.

He winked at her before catching two pieces at once. “It’s part of my charm.”

“Who ever said you were charming?”

“No one needed to. I just know these things.”

“I should have guessed.” She popped a piece in her own mouth before handing the bag to Thayer. He finished it off, catching each kernel expertly.

Stuffing her hands in her pockets, Charlie resumed swinging. The cold night air blew her hair, tangling it into curly brown knots. She didn’t care. After being stuck in the apartment, she enjoyed the small freedom she felt as her body rose and fell.

“What happened today?” Thayer’s voice asked as she passed by him.