The Deep (9 page)

“Welcome,” he says. “I have been waiting for you. Come closer.”

We swim toward him. In the green dimness his face is haggard. He stretches out his hand to me, and I clasp it. I can feel his bones.

“Saldowr.”

“Yes, my child. I’m not a pretty sight, am I?”

“Are you ill?”

“The wound that the keystone gave me refuses to heal. Conor, give me your hand.”

I move back and let Conor take Saldowr’s hand.

“My dear son,” he says, and I catch a flash of feeling on Faro’s face. Is he jealous? “We have work to do. Much work to do, and little time to do it. You know that the Kraken is awake.”

A shiver runs down my back. “Yes,” I say.

“And you, my child, have visited the Deep, and so the Mer are hungry for you. They believe that you can help them against the Kraken.”

How strange. Saldowr talks of the Mer as “they,” as if they are separate from him. I’m sure he never used to do that.

Saldowr’s eyes search my face. How different he is from Ervys. Saldowr is not hungry for me. He doesn’t see me as a means to an end. To Saldowr I am still Sapphire. Myself.

“Will you do it?” he goes on casually, as if it’s not even an important decision.

Conor puts his hand on my arm. “Saph won’t go alone,” he says.

“But Conor, you know that you cannot enter the Deep.” He still speaks lightly, but there’s expectancy in his face too, as if he’s testing Conor, waiting to see what his reaction will be.

“Who says so?”

Conor’s challenge echoes through the cave. Saldowr nods, as if this is the answer he’s been looking for. “You healed the keystone,” he says. “You read its runes. If your spirit is still as strong, nothing is impossible. But now, Conor, show me what you have in your pocket.”

Conor’s as startled as I am. I knew he’d have brought Elvira’s talisman. I don’t think he’s been separated from it since I gave it to him. But how did Saldowr know? Can he sense its presence, as Sadie can? Slowly Conor puts his hand into his pocket and draws out the talisman.

“Bring it closer.”

Saldowr studies the talisman but doesn’t touch it.

“You can hold it if you want,” says Conor.

“No, no. A talisman joins its fortune to its keeper. Don’t let anyone else touch it, Conor, now that it has come into your hands, or its power will weaken. Who carved this?”

“Elvira.”

“Hmm. And what do you see in it?”

“It’s one of the Mer, diving.”

“And?”

“He has my face.”

“He hasn’t, Conor,” I break in. “You’re imagining it.
Look, the face is blank, isn’t it, Saldowr?”

I want Saldowr to support me and make Conor stop seeing things that only he can see. I don’t want Elvira to have the power to carve my brother into a piece of coral.

Saldowr turns his gaze to me. “A talisman joins its fortune to its owner,” he repeats mildly. “But you need a chain, Conor, so you can wear it openly.”

“I’m going to get one.”

Saldowr snaps his fingers, and immediately Faro is at his side. “Search at the foot of my couch,” he orders. Faro dives to the foot of the couch, and a few moments later he comes up with a gold chain in his hand.

“I thought the Mer never took treasure,” I blurt out.

Saldowr raises his eyebrows. “This is not treasure,” he says. “It belongs to Conor. Look, Conor.”

Conor gasps, and then I see why. I recognize the chain. “It’s Dad’s,” Conor breathes. “It’s the chain for his ring.”

Dad never wore his wedding ring on his finger. He didn’t like the feel of it. Sometimes he wore it on a chain around his neck. Not always, but he must have been wearing it that night.

“You are right. It is your father’s. The Mer do not wear gold,” says Saldowr, “and so your father gave it to me. He will be glad of this use, and I think the chain will fit the talisman perfectly.”

Conor says nothing, but I can tell he’s reluctant to take the chain. It’s like—it’s like inheriting something after a
death. But where’s the ring? Where’s Dad’s wedding ring?

“Saldowr,” I say hesitantly, “you said that my father gave you the chain, but—but—”

“You want to know what happened to the ring,” states Saldowr calmly.

“Yes.”

“He gave it also into my safekeeping.”

My heart lurches. Mum doesn’t wear her wedding ring anymore either. She keeps it in a box.

“You can trust me with it,” says Saldowr gently, and I nod, biting my lip. Saldowr turns to Conor.

“Your father would like you to have the chain,” he says, and with sudden decision Conor takes the chain, puts on the talisman, and fastens it around his neck. Saldowr was right. It fits perfectly.

“And did no one give you a talisman, Sapphire?” asks Saldowr.

I stare at him blankly. “No. Elvira only carved this one.”

“So you have nothing? No protection? No secret gift?”

“No,” I say, and I mean it and believe it until a moment after the words have left my mouth.
No secret gift
. But there’s the spray of rowanberries hidden in my jeans pocket. Not even Conor knows about that. It’s not a talisman; it’s just—just rowanberries.

All the same, I feel myself flush as Saldowr keeps looking steadily at me. “I see,” he says at last. “In that case
Conor’s protection must cover you both. And where is he diving to, Conor?”

The tiny carved figure seems to hypnotize us all. He is so lithe, so powerful, and so fearless. Diving down, down, down, through the bright seas of Ingo and then where the water grows dark and the weight of the ocean makes his body as thin as a sheet of paper and as heavy as lead…

“To the Deep,” says Conor.

“T
O THE
D
EEP
,”
REPEATS
Saldowr. He shifts his body slightly, as if he’s in pain.

“Saldowr, your wound—isn’t it healing?”

“No, my child. Not yet.”

“But it will,” I say. “It’s got to. Can’t you see a different healer?” Conor nudges me, but he can’t stop me. “You’re not going to—” “You mean is it my time to go to Limina? No. I don’t think so. I have things I must do before that.”

He talks about it so casually. But going to Limina means dying. And how can Saldowr just let himself die?

“You cannot die, Saldowr!” says Faro fiercely. He kneels and clasps Saldowr’s left hand in his. “You are our memory. Our Guardian. You protect Ingo. You cannot leave us.”

“I’ll have no choice in the matter,” says Saldowr. “But let’s not talk of death. We are here now, and our tasks are urgent. That’s what we must discuss.”

His voice sounds stronger. Of course he’s going to recover. I look at Conor questioningly, and he gives an almost imperceptible nod. It’s time. The plan that began to shape in my mind back in the Assembly chamber is fully formed. Conor and I talked it over for hours last night. He said I’d have to be the one to propose it to Saldowr, though.

“I can’t do it for you, Saph. You’re the one who’s visited the Deep.”

“But Conor, you’re much better at talking than I am. You can make people listen.”

“No, Saph. You’re the one who’s been dragging both of us deeper and deeper into Ingo. You can’t hide behind me now. You’ve got the bargaining power, and they know it.”

It must be tough for Conor to say that,
I thought.
He’s used to being the leader
. I don’t think it’s fair to say I hide behind him, but it’s true that I usually wait for him to do things first, and he’s often the one who speaks up for both of us. Dragging him into Ingo, though…What about Elvira and her talisman? Hmm…maybe it wasn’t the moment to mention it.

“You could pretend Saldowr was Roger,” suggested Conor. “You don’t usually have a problem with giving poor old Roger a mouthful.”

Poor old Roger!
Hasn’t Conor got eyes in his head?
I
thought.
Roger’s got exactly what he wants: Mum. I’m certainly not going to pity him.
But showing heroic tact, I said nothing.

It was much easier to make plans in St. Piran’s than it is to carry them out. I don’t want to risk Saldowr’s anger any more than I’d want to risk Granny Carne’s. I spoke up in the Assembly chamber. I stood my ground against Ervys. But now that I’m face-to-face with Saldowr, it’s hard to explain the bargain I want to make with the Mer. Saldowr is so clear and straight-seeing, like a crystal pool that makes everything else look muddy. Maybe in his eyes my plan will look like blackmail. But it isn’t; I know it isn’t. If we want to rescue Dad, this is probably the only chance. We can’t miss it.

I listen while Faro explains to Saldowr about the Assembly. Saldowr’s face gives nothing away. Even though Faro doesn’t mention Ervys’s disrespect, I have the feeling that Saldowr knows quite well that Ervys is against him and trying to gain power among the Mer.

All he says is: “I see that Ervys has become the voice of the Mer,” and there’s a cool humor in his voice that makes me feel a little better. Ervys may think that Saldowr is helpless because he’s lying here wounded, but he’s wrong. He has to be wrong.

At last, when Faro has explained everything, there’s silence. Saldowr closes his eyes, thinking deeply. How worn and old his face is. There are hollows under his cheekbones.

We’re all gazing at him, longing for an answer. I haven’t mentioned my bargain yet. Somehow I can’t bring myself to do it.

Saldowr’s cave is still. Even the breaking of the Tide Knot hasn’t completely shattered an atmosphere of peace that feels as if it’s taken centuries to gather. Saldowr rules here, no matter how weak he is, and the tides are home again, safe under their rock, sealed by the keystone.

“There’s no answer to the power of the Kraken,” says Saldowr at last, opening his eyes. Conor frowns in disappointment.

“We can’t just let a monster do what he wants!”

“Did I say that we would? But although we may return the Kraken to sleep, we will never change him. He is not like you, capable of change for good or for evil. He may seem to alter; but his nature is fixed, and that is the Kraken’s tragedy.”

I’m not interested in feeling sorry for the Kraken. “Well, that’s all we want to do, isn’t it?” I ask. “Put him back to sleep, I mean. As long as he’s asleep, he can’t do any harm.”

Saldowr smiles faintly. “You are right. I was talking of evil and how it can never be finally defeated. You are speaking, very reasonably, of the present crisis. Are you willing to go to the Deep,
myrgh kerenza,
knowing what you know of it?”

Now is my moment. Now’s the time to set out my
bargain. But instead I look into Saldowr’s eyes. I stop thinking of Dad. A different picture rises in my mind. A Mer woman with a child in her arms, weeping as if her heart will break. I can’t see the woman’s face because her hair swirls around her features. The child looks bewildered, and he’s patting his mother’s face, trying to calm her.

I hear myself saying, “Yes, Saldowr.”

“Good.” His eyes gleam, and I have a sudden suspicion that he knows all about the bargain.

“But Saldowr—”

“Yes.”

“I’m choosing, aren’t I? It’s a free choice. I don’t have to go.”

“No one can make you, my child. Not Ervys and all his followers.”

“But you
will
go, Sapphire,” Faro breaks in. “You are Mer in your heart. You want to help us. You won’t let the children be—”

Saldowr’s brow wrinkles faintly, and Faro is silent.

“It was a free choice,” he answers me.

I take a deep breath. Now that I’ve agreed, I can say what I want to say. It’s not bargaining; it’s telling the truth. “But my father never had a free choice, Saldowr. He
has
to stay in Ingo now. The Mer say that it’s breaking their law to let him leave. But why should it be? If I can choose to help the Mer, then Dad should have the choice to stay or leave.”

Conor moves to stand by my side. “We’re not bargaining, Saldowr. We’re not blackmailing the Mer. But our father came to Ingo, and he was never given the chance to return. I don’t believe he knew the consequences when he was drawn into Ingo by Mellina’s singing. If Sapphire and I can choose to risk our lives to help the Mer, then our father deserves that freedom as well. Otherwise he’s no more than…well, a prisoner.”

“It sounds to me as if you
are
making a bargain,” says Saldowr.

Conor’s color deepens, but he says firmly, “You can call it a bargain if you want. I call it fairness.”

A glint of humor lights up Saldowr’s face. “Sometimes you are very human,” he says. “But think carefully about what you bargain for. You may have to live with getting what you want.”

Why does Saldowr have to talk in riddles?
I think crossly.
Why can’t he just answer yes or no?
We know what we want. Dad, digging the garden on a warm evening, or strolling up to the pub, or taking us out in the
Peggy Gordon
. Well, maybe not the
Peggy Gordon
, because she doesn’t exist anymore, but another boat that’s just as good. And then everything that’s happened since he went away will be just like a bad dream. We’ll put our family back together again.

Roger wanted to get you a boat. You’ll have to do something about Roger, won’t you?
says an inconvenient voice in my head.
Before you put your family back together again. And
you’ll need to wipe Elvira from Conor’s memory as well. And what about Faro? Do you want to lose Faro? That might be part of the bargain too.

But I’m not going to listen. I can think about all that later. And it’s no good Faro’s looking at me like that. I’m not going to change my mind. If Dad was his father, he’d understand.

How gloomy the cave is getting. It can’t be anywhere near evening yet, or maybe it can. Time might be flying through Ingo ten times faster than in the human world today. We could be caught by nightfall. “Conor,” I whisper, “we’ll have to hurry. It’s getting dark.”

But Saldowr turns his head painfully and looks beyond us, toward the mouth of the cave. “You have a visitor,” he says.

The dark is still thickening. I can hardly see Saldowr’s features. I look back at the entrance, and now I see that it isn’t night that has caused the darkness. Something’s out there, blocking the entrance to the cave.

For a horrible moment I think it’s the Kraken.
No, that’s impossible. The Kraken doesn’t leave the Deep. Maybe it’s Ervys! He and his followers have rolled rocks across the cave mouth, and we’re prisoners.

Don’t be so stupid, Sapphire. Why would he do that? He wants you down in the Deep, not trapped in a cave.

“What is it, Saldowr? What’s happening?” asks Conor sharply.

“A friend of Sapphire’s has come to see her,” says Saldowr, and we can all hear the amusement in his voice. “Her kind have never ventured into the Groves before. She is rather…large to enter my cave. She wants to see you, Sapphire. No, not you others. You must wait here. You’ll have to go out to her, Sapphire. She’s waiting for you.”

My heart leaps. There can’t be another visitor as huge as this. Can it really be her? I plunge past Faro and Conor to the cave entrance and out into the Groves.

Sides like a rough cliff. Vast bulk of a body that’s built to voyage safely into the Deep. And looking at me from far above, with pride and recognition, her right eye.

“Whale! Dear whale!”

“Greetings, little barelegs.” Her voice rumbles through the water, and even though she’s barely moving, the sand on the seafloor swirls from her pressure.

“How did you know I was here?”

I swim up her side like a mountaineer. Her skin is grooved and carved like an elephant’s. If I didn’t know her, I’d be afraid of her. She’s so massive. One flick of her tail could easily destroy a fishing boat….

But she wouldn’t do that. No, she’s the one who is hunted and destroyed, if the hunters get a chance. She ought to hate humans, but she helped me.

“Ah, here you come,” rumbles the whale comfortably. “You’re no bigger than a speck of sand, but at least your mother has taught you manners. Never swim up to a whale
from behind; that’s not the way. It makes us nervous. Here you come, and now I’ve lost you. Where are you, little barelegs?”

“By your…I think I’m by your chin.”

“Up you come, that’s the way. Dear me, can’t you swim any faster than that? And now I’ve lost you again. It reminds me of when my own children were little and used to play hide-and-seek under my jaw.”

“Did they?” I can’t help thinking that this must have been quite scary. What if the jaw had opened and sucked them in—by accident, of course?

“It seems like yesterday. But they’re still my babies, no matter how big they get. The tickle of those little flukes—you never forget it.”

“I suppose they must be quite big now?” I scull the water, keeping level so that she can see me.

“Big enough, little barelegs. Your mother must be sad that you do not grow. You should keep your legs together, and perhaps they’ll fuse into a tail. The dolphins tell us that it could happen. It’s called evolution,” says the whale proudly.

I wonder how Mum would react if she were confronted by a daughter who’d evolved into a whale. Maybe my tail could fit into the bedroom, but then the rest of me would fill the garden and go halfway to the cove—

“I think Mum’s all right with things the way they are.”

“She knows best, I suppose. I’d like to meet her. We’d have a lot in common, I’m sure.”

Hard to imagine what they’d talk about, really. Mum would faint with horror if she could see me now, deep underwater, conversing with a whale. At least I think she would. On the other hand, Mum would trust this whale. She would feel the goodness in her. And I have a feeling that the whale is lonely. Her children must have all grown up and gone away. I wonder what it’s like to be so huge….

Is Saldowr still keeping Conor and Faro back in the cave? I wish they were here. I want them to meet the whale. I stare back down her vast side, but I can’t see them. I wonder why Saldowr didn’t let them come. No one could think the whale could hurt anyone.

I swim round until I can look directly into her eye. It’s impossible to look into both of a whale’s eyes at once—unless, I suppose, you are another whale. You’d be made on the same scale then.

“I am glad you remember me, little one. I thought you might have forgotten.”

“How could I possibly forget you? I’d never have got out of the Deep without you.”

“Ah, well, we whales have certain advantages of size. It was no trouble,” says the whale, and in spite of her hugeness, she sounds shy as well as pleased.

This is my moment.

“Do you think—is it possible for you to help me go back to the Deep?”

The whale’s dark, thoughtful eye considers my face. “Help you, little one? How will that help you? The Deep is no place for you. I thought you would have learned that.”

She sounds so sure that I falter. Maybe she is right. Do I really want to find myself back in that dark, formless place where I don’t even know which way to look for the surface? If she won’t agree to take me, then I can’t go. No one can blame me. I’ll have tried.

Don’t be so pathetic. You wouldn’t have tried. You’d just have run away. Even if the others never know, you’ll know. And think of trying to meet Saldowr’s eyes while you bleat, “I tried, I really did, but the whale wouldn’t take me.”

“I
have
to go there. I don’t want to, exactly, but the Mer need me. It’s because of the children and the Kraken. You know…”

The whale doesn’t answer. She fixes me with her eye, mild and patient and not at all convinced.

Salt tingles on my palate. I remember what Faro said:
You are Mer in your heart.
Whether he’s right or not, I can feel my Mer blood rising. Words bubble on my tongue and reach my lips.
“An Kraken…an Kraken…nownek. Peryl ha own…
Dear whale, please help me. “