THE CURSE OF EXCALIBUR: a gripping Arthurian fantasy (THE MORGAN TRILOGY Book 2) (3 page)

She shook her head.

“How did you understand messages from Lot?” I persisted.

“My sons. They knew English.”
Knew.
She looked up at me then, her eyes steady and cold. “I had three sons. Your King Arthur killed them all. The youngest was no older than you. He had a wife your age. When we left Carhais, she too was with a child inside.”

So, she was indeed Leodegrance’s Queen. Or at any rate, an important woman at his court. So, she looked at me and thought of the son she had lost, the grandchild she would probably never see. I remember Arthur’s talk of marrying Kay to the Princess of Carhais.

“You have a daughter?” I asked. She nodded. “Does she fight?”

The woman laughed then. I had not expected that. I sat back in my chair, and wrapped my hands around my belly. I could not help smiling in return.

“She wishes. She thinks she is a warrior. She is still a little girl. Already they all talk about marrying her to some prince or another. That nasty boy of Lot’s who rapes the girls who go with the camp. No, that is not for her.” The woman shook her head. “She will marry a boy from her home, and be happy. I have made sure.”

I felt a sudden rush of warmth for this woman. My mother loved me, I knew that, but as much as my mother saw me as her daughter she saw me as a princess with a duty, and with sacrifices to be made. This woman didn’t care about that. She just wanted her daughter to live happily. It seemed to me that there would be little chance of that. If all the girl’s brothers were dead, then whoever won this war would marry their son to her to get hold of Carhais. It was not rich, it had no treasures and its lands were small, but it had the Hundred Knights of Carhais, and that was enough for any king to covet. If I kept this woman alive, she might protect her daughter, might hide her from the men trying to snatch her up. I wondered if the girl would like Gawain, if it came to it. I wondered if Gawain would even survive.

I was not afraid to go to sleep with the woman in the room. I found her proud, quiet presence more calming than the fluttering Elaine. I heard her looking through my things. Perhaps she was looking for a weapon, but there was nothing for her to find.

Chapter Three

The next day they took her away from me. I think it made Uriens uneasy to leave me alone with her. I think he suspected that we plotted against him. I barely knew enough French to ask her if she was alright, to ask her to show me her wound again. I might have tried to conspire with her against him if I had known enough, if communication had been easy.

They came to take her away when I was wrapping a new bandage around her arm. Uriens with two of his knights, and Arthur lingering behind, looking uneasy. I suspected that Uriens and Merlin had talked him into it. Uriens stood before the woman as she turned her proud face up to stare him in the eye. Uriens took hold of her chin roughly. I could see her skin go white under the force of his grip. She showed no pain, no fear.

“It is death for you, my Lady,” he said in loud, slow English. She gazed back evenly. It seemed a painfully small gesture of kindness, in light of this, that I had tried to heal the wound in her arm.

“May your wife curse you,” she replied coldly, in her uneven French. It was for my benefit, for Uriens looked at her without understanding. However, I thought I saw Arthur’s attention catch. He must have learned some French, enough to understand what she said, in his short time as King. “A man without mercy deserves no mercy from the gods.”

Uriens, further angered by the language he did not understand, dragged her from the room. She did not look back at me, and I felt as though I had let her down, though I did not know what else I could have done. Arthur lingered behind as all the others left. I wished that he would leave as well. I wanted to be alone. He pushed the door gently shut.

“Morgan...” he began uneasily. I thought he was going to ask me to absolve him of that woman’s murder, but he would not have that from me. To my utter astonishment, he unbuckled Excalibur in its scabbard from around his waist, and held it out to me. “I must ask something of you. I need you to guard my sword in your safekeeping until I return for it. I am always afraid someone will steal it while I sleep, and the jewelled scabbard attracts too much attention on the battlefield. We’re sleeping in ditches, in the mud, in caves – I can’t have a sword like this with me. Even if one of the enemy did not try to steal it, we would have bandits on us in the wild lands around here. I will take an ordinary sword from Uriens’ armoury, but will you look after it for me? I know I can trust you with it.”

My heart raced, and I stepped forward for it. Was this really happening? Was Arthur really doing this? Was he testing me? Tricking me? I reached out a hand and laid it against the scabbard. A wonderful, overwhelming sense of belonging, the strength of the Otherworld, the deep connection between me and my sword, rushed through me and I could not contain a smile.

“I would be glad to, Arthur,” I breathed.

Was it to be so easy? Had the sword come back to me of its own will? Arthur pressed it into my hands, and I held it close to me, feeling its Otherworld strength fill me, feeling the lightness of its steel as I held it. I would have pressed the hilt to my lips if Arthur had not been there.

“Thank you, Morgan.” He leaned forward to kiss me on the forehead. “I will be back for it when we have finally defeated Lot. We depart again today. I am sorry that guarding this prisoner has kept you from your husband the little time he has been back, but I shall return him to you soon.”

How little Arthur understood about marriage, and about me. He left, and I hid Excalibur, not beneath my bed where I had left it in Avalon, but at the back of my cupboard under my dresses. That had been safe enough before, with the book. Now all I had to do with the time I had was figure out a way to keep it for myself when he came to claim it back.

I lay in bed, my eyes closed, to listen to the crowd in the courtyard baying for blood as they executed the Breton Queen. I heard them roar with delight when they cut off her head, for I knew that was what they would have done. She was an enemy captured in battle. At least it was a warrior’s honourable death for her. I thought of her daughter, far away, who did not know she had lost her protector. That girl would be sold now, to whoever was the highest bidder.

When the noises of the crowd had died down I listened to the horses’ hooves as Arthur and Uriens and Merlin rode away again. I was glad that they were gone, and more glad than I could say that Arthur had left Excalibur behind with me.
I know I can trust you with it.
How little Arthur truly knew.

It was high summer when the child came. Uriens’ sister arrived to attend the birth, and only just in time. She was a squat, ugly woman, with the same craggy ill-tempered face as her brother, almost the very image of him, only shorter and fatter. Elaine stood hovering around the room, worrying out loud about anything and everything. I had drunk deeply of the potion for pain I had given Morgawse, and I lay back in its haze, letting them fuss over my body as I moved away from it.

Though I had prayed and prayed the child would be Kay’s, the boy came out sandy-haired and dull-eyed like his father. Unmistakable. I didn’t want to hold him. I remembered Morgawse’s rapturous joy at the sight of her son, and I looked at mine and felt nothing. I didn’t want to hold him and feel my own hollowness. I told myself it was the drink for the pain, but Morgawse had smiled still, and held her baby to her breast. I waved mine away, and groggily ordered them to send for a nurse for him, before I sank into a heavy sleep.

I didn’t leave my bed for a long time. I did not feel like getting up, and I did not want to see my son. Uriens, when the news reached him, came back from the battlefield. They must have been winning easily, then. He was obviously happy for the boy to be nursed by someone else, for no one brought him to me, and I was glad of it. It felt like a betrayal by my own body, that it had chosen Uriens over Kay. My breasts grew heavy with milk, and sore, but it quickly passed as my body realised that I was not going to nurse my child. When a week or so had passed, and I felt like getting out of my bed, I made a drink from my book of medicines to make sure the milk stopped. I was sick of being sore, sick of being bored and powerless.

I sat at my desk and wrote to my sister, and Nimue. I asked Nimue to come as soon as possible with more of Merlin’s Black Arts knowledge. I called for a bath, and washed, and dressed in my black dress of gems. I plaited my hair carefully. Elaine fluttered around me, constantly trying to help, but I didn’t like being fussed. I wanted to just take care of myself.

When I was properly dressed, I went to find Uriens. I did not really want to speak to him, but I did want news of Arthur’s war. I wanted to know how long I had to work out how I could keep Excalibur for myself.

When I found him, he was in his bedroom, holding his son.
Our
son. No, when I looked at the boy, I could not picture him as my child. Though he had lived in my body, in his father’s arms he seemed unbearably distant. How had I been denied the comfort that Morgawse had found from her child? I supposed that Morgawse had
wanted
Arthur, before she knew he was her brother. But she loved her sons by Lot as well. Why was everything that was effortless for Morgawse denied to me?

Uriens looked up at me as I came in. He was dressed in his shirt and breeches, his arms around the little baby, whose small pink fist grasped one of his father’s fingers. His look was one of gentleness that I had not seen before, but he sat up and back a little in his chair as he took in how I was dressed, how I had come not to hold our child in my arms, but as his Queen.

“Morgan,” he began tentatively, “I am glad to see you up and well.”

I nodded, hanging back in the doorway. I did not want him to hand me the child. I didn’t want to look down at my son and feel how much I lacked, how the comfort I had hoped for left me cold.

“What news from the battlefield?” I asked coldly. The baby gurgled in his arms, and he bounced him a little. He shrugged.

“It’s over. Well, not over, but the end is decided. On midsummer’s day, Arthur and his knights met with Lot’s forces. Pellinore killed Lot, and his army scattered, but not before Arthur and his knights had cut most of them down. And those that ran, we met them as they tried to cross through the mountains on our borders, and we cut them down. Lothian had many knights, but most of them were mercenaries, and when word spread that their king was dead, they scattered. Lot’s son, Gawain, pledged himself to Arthur.”

“
Gawain
pledged to Arthur?” I asked in disbelief. I could have imagined Aggravain would have done it, but not Gawain. I would have thought Gawain would have rather faced death.

Uriens gave a grim nod. “He was impressed, I think, by Arthur’s strength on the battlefield. And besides, after his father’s death news managed to reach him that Arthur was not just the father of his youngest brother, but also his mother’s brother. With his father dead, the clever young prince of Lothian decided that his blood ran as thick on his mother’s as his father’s side, and pledged to Arthur. The other brother will pledge his faith, too, when the two remaining kings fall. That will not be long. Between Lothian and Logrys, they will be easily crushed, and Arthur will be King of all Britain.”

I nodded, trying to take it all in. This was what I wanted. Morgawse was safe. War would come to an end. I could not stop thinking about the Breton woman, executed in the courtyard. That was what war made men into. Arthur should have stopped it. I felt my head spinning, and leaned against the doorway. In the corner of my vision, I saw Uriens stand, as though he would come over to help me, but I held up a hand, gesturing him away. I was fine. But I had to decide what my next move was going to be. My next move would have to ensure that I kept Excalibur.

“Morgan,” he said quietly. I looked up. He had come closer than I had thought. He still held the child, cradled close to his chest with one strong arm, and he leaned back against the wall beside the door, regarding me with a strange detachment. “You dislike me, but your womb likes me well enough, and we should have another child. You cannot – you should not – keep me from your bed forever.”

I shook my head, stepping back, but I was still dizzy and I had to rest back against the other side of the doorway. I had not thought he would come back. I had not prepared any more of the potion I had given him before. I was weak from bearing the child; I could not hold him off me. The only weapon I had left was fear. I was not even sure that I could hold him back with Excalibur.

“Don’t you want another child?” he demanded.

I shook my head. I felt nauseous, and faint. I could feel my stomach turn within me, my vision blur. I thought I had survived having the child, but I must have lost a lot of blood. I knew the signs from the books I had read. I needed to make the medicine for the blood from the book. I went slowly, leaning against the wall, from the room, following the way I knew down to the herb stores. I was pleased that Uriens did not follow me. I heard him call for Elaine. I wondered what he thought she could possibly do to aid the situation.

When I stumbled out into the courtyard, I saw Accolon notice me, and come over. He glanced around himself before he walked over. He must have been checking for Uriens. He came, and slid an arm around me, holding me around the waist, steadying me.

“I don’t need your help,” I said, irritably.

“No, my Lady, you may not need it, but you might benefit from it,” he said, close and quiet. I glanced up at him. There was real concern in his eyes. “Where do you want to go?”

“I need to go back to the stores.”

He nodded, and went with me. I resented my own weakness, but I was glad to have someone to lean on, and for him to hold the torch as I picked out what I needed. It smelled pleasant down there, of apples and old wood, of dried herbs and cool stone. When I had collected what I needed and tucked it into the sleeve of my dress, I turned around to leave, and found Accolon closer behind me than I had thought. I felt my heart give an unconscious flutter of excitement. He leaned forward, sliding an arm around my waist, resting his hand at the small of my back, stepping tentatively closer. I tilted my face up towards his, placing my hand against his cheek. I heard him give a low groan of anticipation as our noses brushed together, and I felt his hot breath against my lips.

“Accolon,” I whispered, “do you know how to forge a sword?”

He gave a low laugh. “I can forge a sword for you, Morgan.”

Our lips met, and I sank against him with a slight tremble of desire. It could not be here, it could not be now, but it would be soon. I felt sure enough of Accolon now to have him as my lover, and perhaps even more than that. I would wait for that, though, until I was sure.

I pulled away from his kiss slowly. I could see the hunger in his eyes, the desire, and I was pleased. It was too long since a man had looked at me that way.

“Soon,” I whispered to him. He gave me a gentle smile, and helped me out, and back to my room. Conscious of Uriens close by, and the danger that he might happen upon us if we lost ourselves in a kiss, I only brushed my fingers lightly against his lips as I said goodbye. I felt their softness against my fingertips long after he had left. It would be soon.