The Convenience of Lies (18 page)

“I DON'T LIKE RAMON! I just think he is a good person.”

“Mackenzie, you are a traitor, and you are crazy!!! Ramon will never be a good friend to you! He hit your car! A friend doesn't do that!!!”

I know I need to tell her what I learned from Ramon. “What if it wasn't Ramon who did it??? What if he was framed?!?” I am crossing my fingers in spirit, hoping that she will understand this, hoping that she will want me to explain more.

“Mackenzie, you are letting Ramon brainwash you!” My hope vanishes instantly. Clearly Kira is never going to be able to accept the truth. “Everybody thinks you are easy because you STILL like him!!! I used to stick up for you all of the time, Mackenzie, but now I agree with them! I think you are
EASY
!!! I can't believe you. You are crazy, Mackenzie!!!”

This is the last straw for me. It is not alright for
anyone
to call me easy. We are about a quarter mile away from Kira's house, so I figure I've brought her close enough as I pull over to the side of the road.

“Get out of my car!”

She opens the door a crack, and her eyes get so narrow they look like a cat's eyes, “I hate you, Mackenzie!!!”

“Get OUT of MY CAR!!!!!” I scream, giving her a little shove.

Kira claws back at me, “I NEVER WANT TO SEE OR TALK TO YOU AGAIN!!!!!”

“GET OUT OF MY CAR!!!!!” We give each other a final shove, and Kira gets out of the car, slamming the door so hard the whole car shakes.

I speed away so fast that I make my tires shriek. I make a sloppy U-turn to head back to my house. But as I finish the turn, I realize I am scared to go home because nobody is there, and a lot of people are really mad at me right now. It is getting dark, and I really don't want to face the night by myself. I pull over onto a side street and call Ramon.

“Could you come over to my house? I'm so upset. Kira and I just got into a huge fight.” I can feel my voice shaking.

“Is this a real fight?” he asks me.

“Yes, really. It was the worst fight ever. I don't think we are going to ever talk again. Please come to my house.” I start to feel desperate, but I can understand why Ramon would question me after what Kira and I did to him.

“Okay, I'll be right over,” he tells me and hangs up.

I start driving again and notice that Kira isn't where I left her anymore. Soon I am home again. I receive a text message from Kira, “My parents are going to call the cops on you. You gave me a bruise on my arm.” I know that Kira is just trying to scare me because I KNOW I didn't push her hard enough to give a bruise, and the cops won't give a shit about a little cat fight between two girls anyway. Regardless, I am uneasy and start feeling really jumpy at the smallest sound.

Right after reading her text, my phone rings. I jump about a foot in the air, and the caller ID tells me it is Tyler. I don't answer it, and he leaves a new voice message:

“Mackenzie, I can't believe what you just did to Kira. You are supposed to be her Best Friend, and you know what, you aren't. Right now, Mackenzie, you have no friends. You just have those homos Ramon and Cody. It looks like it is about time for you to start making new friends.”

The message is still ringing in my ears when Ramon and Scott show up. Tyler is just trying to make me feel shitty.
He doesn't understand that he and Kira weren't my only friends
. Regardless, I feel a new weight inside of me as I let Ramon and Scott in.

“Ramon, you have to listen to this message.” I hand him the phone as soon as they get in the door.

Ramon listens to the message. “If Tyler wants to talk shit, then he's going to get shit,” he proclaims, clearly incensed, as he pulls out his cell phone.

I let Scott hear the message. Afterwards, he just shakes his head as he hands my phone back to me. Now, Ramon starts talking to Tyler. “I don't know what the fuck you are doing talking to Mackenzie like that, you fucking piece of shit. You are going to fucking pay for that. You shouldn't fucking play with other people's shit, you ass mother fucker.” I love the fact that Ramon is so intent on sticking up for me. Finally, someone is on my side, unlike Kira.

I watch Scott's reaction to the whole situation; he looks surprised, curious, and knowledgeable all at the same time. It is a strange mixture of reactions, and I try to figure out what they mean.

Ramon gets off the phone, and I tell him and Scott in more detail about what happened when I drove Kira home. The two of them look shocked and just shake their heads. Scott gets up to leave, “I'm going to go now.” Even though I barely know Scott, I feel like I've lost half of my support as he gets ready to leave.

“Please stay with me,” I say to Ramon, begging him with my eyes.

“Oh… I gave him a ride,” Scott says apologetically.

“I can drive him home,” I reply. “Are you okay with that?” I ask, directing my question to Ramon. He nods his consent. Scott grabs his things and heads off.

Once we have time to ourselves, I ask Ramon, “Would you lay down with me?” Again he nods his head in consent. We migrate to my room and head for my bed.

Eventually, I fall asleep, finding myself clasped in Ramon's arms.

King feels right at home, doing what he does best. His heart is racing in his chest. Finally he is getting the rush he needs. It is almost midnight, and this time he's managed to recruit two minions to join him. This “Misconduct” is about King getting revenge. Revenge is not only his right, but his privilege. He is going to bring down those meddlesome girls.

Giddy with excitement, King can feel the acceleration as the truck gains speed. As he planned, Brent Andrews is driving. Now if anyone sees the license plate, they will be knocking on Brent Andrews' door. They won't be able to prove that King was there. Brent is just too simple-minded to realize it.

As the truck speeds up, King watches as Kurt leans his head out the window, the wind rushing through his hair. When the truck approaches Mackenzie's car, Kurt raises his arm and aims for the back windshield. He lobs the rock with as much power as he can. The rock not only has the acceleration of the throw, but also the acceleration of the truck behind it, just as King planned. Sure enough, the boys hear a deafening CRACK as the rock strikes the car.

“
Did you get the window?” Brent Andrews asks, watching the road as he makes a sharp turn around the corner.

“
I don't know! I couldn't see. Were you able to record it, Ramon?” Kurt asks, craning his neck to see Mackenzie's car as it disappears behind the corner.

“
Bitch, don't call me that! I. Am. The. King.” Ramon responds as he's watching the video camera's monitor.

Kurt rolls his eyes and turns back around in his seat now that Mackenzie's house is out of sight, and Brent is slowing down.

“
Did I get the window?” Kurt asks again.

“
No. You got the trunk,” Ramon says resolutely.

“
Just the trunk!? Did I at least get a tail light?” Kurt implores.

“
You just got the trunk,” Ramon says, disappointment dripping from his voice. His minions have failed to perform again. Why can't they just do exactly what he tells them?

“
That still won't be cheap to fix,” Brent Andrews chimes in, coming to Kurt's defense.

“
No, It Will Not,” Ramon agrees, turning off the video camera as his face twists into a grin.

It has been four days since I have talked to anybody. My mom returned the day after my huge fight with Kira. Very late the following evening, she took me and my sister away on our annual camping trip to Jalama Beach. This camping has been a tradition in my family for as long as I can remember. I think it's the most beautiful beach in the world and one of the most isolated too. Vandenberg Air Force Base is on one side of the beach, and a private ranch is on the other side. And so, the ONLY people on the beach are campers from the campground. The beach stretches as far as the eye can see in either direction, but most of the campers set themselves up in the area right in front of the camp ground. Meaning, if we walk about ten minutes in either direction down the beach, we have it to ourselves. Nothing can put me at peace more than sitting down on the warm sand with a bright blue sky, flying seagulls, and rolling waves all to myself. This is truly my favorite place in the world, my sanctuary.

Jalama Beach has probably been the best place for me to be after the events that transpired between Kira and me. While I have felt rather isolated and depressed, I've also had a chance to relax and reflect as well. For a few days I've been able to live in my own world and remove myself from everything that happened. I left my cell phone behind so that nobody could reach me, but I remember one of my last conversations with Ramon before I left:

“Have you ever smashed pennies on a train track before?” I had asked him.

“No,” he said, like he was stating the obvious.

“Oh, it's really cool because the penny gets all flat and shiny. It's fun to go find the pennies afterward because the train deflects them everywhere. I do it all of the time at Jalama. I'll bring you back some.”

Now I am walking along the train track, which runs along a cliff by the beach. I breathe in deeply; I can almost taste the salt in the air. From where I am walking, I have an excellent view. I can see the beach extending for miles in both directions. The water is a steel-greyish blue, and I can see a kelp bed not too far offshore. Seagulls are circling above it, looking for tasty tidbits. I can hear the sound of seals barking on the wind. I strain my eyes, searching to see the seals, but I can't see them anywhere. So, I settle for watching the waves rolling in and listening to their peaceful, rhythmic crashing and receding. I am taken by a sense of tranquility when a gust of wind blows, and I can taste the salt in the air. I soak it all in, feeling my spirit embrace the serenity surrounding me.

The peaceful moment slowly comes to pass as my mind wanders to reflecting upon the fact that tomorrow I will be returning home, to all of the drama. I can't decide if I am looking forward to it or if I would rather stay in seclusion forever. The latter seems much more appealing. But either way, I have no choice. School will be starting up again after the craziest summer of my life.

Despite how helpful he was during the aftermath of my party, Cody has decided he hates me. He said something about how he thinks I am a hypocrite. Since Shane is Cody's best friend, I have lost his friendship as well. Looking back on it, Tyler was right; I really did lose most of my friends. During the biggest test of friendship ever, everybody 'showed their true colors,' as Kira would have put it. I have discovered that most of my friendships were weak, that Ramon was my only true friend.

Kira and I will never be close again. I believed she was a great friend, and the night of my party she
was
there for me. But, well, she was very closed-minded towards Ramon, constantly accusing him regardless of the truth. And, she was closed-minded towards me, jumping to conclusions instead of talking to me, as best friends should. She only cares about living and creating drama. Once she told me that “it is fun to play with people's emotions. It spices things up a bit.” Back then, I didn't realize how committed she was to this supposed ideal. But now I see that Kira is really a shallow, dangerous bitch with too much time on her hands. I am better off without her.

But then, there is Ramon. He doesn't hate me, like most everyone. He's remained loyal to me when no one else did. Now we don't have to go sneaking around, pretending not to be friends because everyone knows we are. I promised him I would bring him back some smashed pennies.

With this thought, I reach into my pocket to see what change I have. I am surprised to see that I have five pennies; normally I don't carry change at all. This is perfect. I place the pennies along the track, and step away, already hearing a train coming. Perfect timing. It is a short Amtrak train, but those still do the job of smashing. As it approaches, I can hear it roaring through the wind and honking its horn. As it gets closer, the roaring gets louder. I brace myself as the train passes by, attempting to protect myself from the slipstream. As the air churns, I feel leaves and other loose bits getting blown up into my eyes. I close them as fast as possible, but can still feel the bits striking against me like little bullets. Fortunately, this is just a short commuter train, and as soon as this torrent started, it subsides as the train rushes by. Now is the safest time for me to collect my pennies. There's usually at least an hour between trains. Watching the train disappear, I prance back over to reclaim the pennies. Even though I know the train is going in the opposite direction, it still feels uncomfortable to be so close to one. I can feel that the tracks are still vibrating from the force of the train. I find four of my pennies, which I am fine with because I never expect to find
all
of the coins I put out. I admire how shiny the pennies are before placing them back in my pocket, to safe-keep for Ramon.

With a sudden twang, I miss Ramon more than I can put into words. I want to talk to him so badly, and I glance down the hill to where the pay phones are. But I realize, I used up all of my change, not that I had enough to make a phone call to start out with. I tell myself to just wait until I get home tomorrow.
Just one more day.

The first thing I do when I get home, before I even put down my luggage, is go onto AIM. Ramon is online! My luck can't get better. I ask him if I can come over and see him, and to my overwhelming happiness, Ramon assents.

My hair is still windblown and salty, and I'm still covered in sunscreen, but I run right to my car anyway. “But, you haven't even taken a shower yet!” my mom yells at me as I leave through the front door.

I can see Ramon through his front door, which is wide open, and he is in the back yard punching his punching bag. I ring the doorbell anyway; Ramon looks up and grins. He beckons me to come, so I enter his house. Ramon is wearing a loose white shirt and blue sweat pants.

I fish around in my pockets and clasp the pennies I so diligently brought home for him. “Here, I brought this back for you,” I say, handing him the pennies.

Ramon takes off one of his boxing gloves, and starts inspecting the pennies. “A train smashed these?” he says, looking incredulous.

“Yeah, I wanted to give you some because I was telling you about smashing the pennies.” I want him to understand why I brought them for him. Ramon nods his head, looking pleased, and pockets the pennies.

He puts the boxing glove back on and gives the bag a few more punches. Then he stops and looks at me, “Try punching the bag. Punch it as hard as you can.”

I suddenly feel put on the spot. I don't want to looks like a dumb-ass right in front of Ramon. “No! That's okay.”

“Just try it. I want to see how hard you can punch. Just imagine Tyler's head right here.” He indicates a spot on the bag at about where I should hit it.

“No, that's awful. I can't hit anyone,” I tell him, pleading to be let off the hook. “You're just going to laugh at me.”

“I won't. I promise. I'm the only one here, so it doesn't matter,” he insists.

Ramon seems steadfast; there is no getting out of this. “Okay…,” I gripe.

Ramon steps aside to allow me full access to the punching bag. I face it, think about what I'm doing, and break down in a fit of giggles. Ramon rolls his eyes at me, so I calm down and face the bag again. I hit it with all my might. The punching bag hardly moves. The muscles in my upper back start screaming at me, so I start rubbing them right away.

“That hurt?!?” he says, almost mocking me.

“No, I'm just rubbing,” I jeer back.

I expect Ramon to roll his eyes again, but I'm surprised when I look at him. For a second, a glimmer of affection crosses his eyes. I have never seen him look at me that way, and it's surprising. I tell myself that it's nothing. Ramon always gives me signs that he likes me and then denies any feelings for me.

But there is a sudden change in the atmosphere. “I missed you while I was gone. The whole time I was there, I was wishing you were there too,” I tell him. My heart starts speeding up.

Ramon looks bashful.

“Did you miss me?” I ask tentatively, looking closely at him. Realizing that this question is too intimate for a friend to ask, I rephrase it, “Did you think about me at all?”

“Yeah,” he says, turning reserved, like he is trying to hide something. I tell myself not to dwell on it; he's always reserved.

It is dusk, and I notice the way the late summer light is illuminating Ramon's face, making him look so wonderful, like he's glowing with the radiance of the sun. I can feel my heart skip a beat.

Way too soon, our moment of Zen is broken when Ramon's family starts eating dinner. I decide the polite thing for me to do is to go home and let them have their family time. When I get home, all I can think about is how much I still want to talk to Ramon. After not seeing him for so long, our small chat was not enough to satiate my longing for his company. So, I go back onto AIM, and I'm thrilled to see that Ramon is online as well. We chat for a bit again, and then Scott comes online. At almost the same time, Ramon says that he is going to sign off. To joke around I say,

I'm hoping Ramon doesn't think much of this.

He signs offline without saying that he is joking at all. Did he mean the sentiment, or was he just joking back? Regardless, I feel all warm inside. I still don't want to sign off of AIM, so I start talking to Scott:

I feel like bragging a little bit.

Wait, WHAT? Since when has that been obvious?!?!

For a second I pause to remember who Eleena is, and then remember she's Ramon's sister. I have certainly gotten the vibe that Ramon likes me before, but according to him, that's not true. How could this be any different?

Maybe Ramon really did look at me with the affection that I thought I had imagined.

I told him something to this effect when I was trying to convince myself, and everyone else, that I didn't like Ramon anymore. Suddenly this seems like it was a really stupid tactic.

This is starting to feel like I'm just running into another brick wall with Ramon.

It's been over a month since our last massage, I realize with a twang.

I used to always initiate our massage sessions by asking him to give me a massage. Wouldn't it be weird if all of the sudden I do something different?

My hands start to shake as I try to type. It is different hearing this from one of Ramon's best friends than from my sister and her boyfriend.

Can this actually work?