The Consequence of Secrets - Part Two: A Priest Romance (4 page)

The overhead lights flicker and light up along the basement roof like a runway, the first signaling a warning that someone is at the base of the stairs. Reacting quickly, I wrap my arms around Emma’s middle and carry her to the corner.

“Stay here,” I whisper urgently, pulling her blouse back over her shoulders and taking one last look at her exquisite beauty. I tear my eyes away from her. “I'll be right back.”

With her eyes wide and frightened, Emma nods and begins to refasten her buttons with shaking hands. I feel like shit for what just happened.

Raking my hands through my hair, I turn away from her and discreetly readjust myself to hide the arousal that’s throbbing in my pants before stepping into plain sight to see who our visitor is. For a second, I don't see anyone, and briefly I wonder if God himself turned the lights on to stop what was happening between Emma and me, but then I see the contractor for the pool studying the control panel on the wall.

“It’s looking good,” he shouts above the noise when he glances up as I approach. “Probably another six hours and it will be full.”

“Six hours?”

“You don’t have to wait around, I’ll come back to check on it. Then we let it sit over night and make sure the water doesn’t drop, and if we’re good, I’ll finish her off and she’ll be ready for the first swim. Are you planning on doing the honors, Father?” he asks with a smile.

“I’d like that, although the neighborhood kids might like to do a big group jump in for the opening.”

“OK, well, I’ve got all I need here. I’ll see you in about three hours if you’re still here.”

“Of course,” I smile, flicking the switch so only the pool lights are on once again. “I’ll walk you out,” I offer, making small talk with him until he’s left the building and locking the door behind him.

The lights went off, so now I’m standing in the basement, still hiding around the corner with only the soft glow of the pool lights for company. It's so loud that I don't know if it safe to come out or if I should stay here and wait for Braden to return. Inside, I’m panicking though. What if that person saw us? What if they know Gabe and go and tell him? What if they tell the church?

Oh god, this was all a horrible mistake, and I’m just going to end up getting us killed. What have I done?

Feeling ill as my doubt swirl in my mind, I wait in the darkness for what seems like an age before growing restless and nervous that I’ll be trapped down here. Then I inch my way along the wall in peek my head around the corner to see if anyone is standing in sight, holding my breath the entire time.

Unable to see anyone, my heart beats wildly against my chest as I decide to risk heading back up the stairs, and try to get out of here. It was a mistake that I came here. I should have known something would happen. Something always happens when Braden and I are alone together. It's like there's some unexplainable force that pushes us together without thinking about the consequences. And the consequences are great here, and it hurts to even think about what would happen if somebody found out.

I shouldn't have come here.

When I get to the top of the stairs, I push the door open and peek through the crack into the brightly lit foyer. At first I don't see anyone at all then I see a shadow of movement, and my breath stops again as I wait to see what, or who it is.

The shadow moves, bringing the tall dark figure of Braden into view. He’s alone, and his pacing the floor, his head bowed while his hand rubs at the back of his neck. I can see his beautiful features contorted with worry, and my heart goes out to him, knowing that it's me who’s causing his current predicament – it's this thing between us, this thing that doesn't make any sense, this thing we can't seem to stop.

I wonder if I want to stop it, knowing that if it weren't for Gabe and my fear of him finding out, I probably wouldn't think twice about tempting the beautiful priest away from his vocation. Perhaps I would have looked at him the same way Jules did; perhaps I too would have claimed I was doing women everywhere a favor. Perhaps, if I weren't so scared, I'd walk out this door right now, and seduce him where he stands…

Or perhaps I wouldn’t, perhaps I would have always been too afraid to go after what I want. It’s the way I've always been, and I suppose that’s the one word that defines me – afraid.

Ladies and Gentlemen, my name is Emma Williams, and I’m afraid – too afraid to do much of anything except exist, and because of that, I’m trapped in a secret world of lies and deception that I honestly don't know how to get out of on my own. But I was wrong about involving Braden. I’m only going to bring him down with me.

The guilt inside me grows to something tangible as I see Braden looking so tortured as he paces back and forth. I’m rethinking everything, and I wonder if maybe I should just come clean and take the beating. I’m being selfish trying to escape this marriage. I wanted it in the first place, and while I didn’t know it would turn bad, I still made that choice on my own. I can’t be responsible for doing this to Braden, and I can’t risk the harm of my pregnant sister and my unknowing father. I just don't have that in me. Perhaps backing out of this so quickly makes me weak, but I’d rather be weak than risk the people I love. I just…I can’t.

Stepping through the doorway, I keep my eyes on Braden as he stops his pacing and just looks at me. It’s a look of barely restrained hunger, and it turns my insides to liquid. I have to fight to make myself speak.

“I think I should go,” I start, taking a sideways step toward the door.

“Please don’t go, Emma. We need to talk about…well, everything that’s going on.”

“I know, it’s why I came here. I showed him the test, and he believes it. But I think I did the wrong thing. I don’t think I should go through with it.”

“You’re having second thoughts?”

“Yes, I’m having second thoughts. After what just happened down there, of course I am. How are we going to do this? Why are we doing this? Can something happen between you and me?” I shake my head. “On what planet is that ever going to work? Gabe would find out and then…” I stop talking, unable to form the words. “I’ve made a mistake.”

“Stop trying to leave and take this burden all on your own, Emma. Stay here and talk to me.”

“Talk to you? But…but we don’t talk do we? All we do is fight this…whatever it is going on between us, and we’re starting to lose. That isn’t safe for either of us.”

“Honestly, I don’t want to win against this. I want you with every fiber of my being,” he admits as he takes a step toward me.

“What about your vows, Braden? Let’s say we somehow work this out and I’m free to leave Gabe. What happens then? I don’t want to be the reason you ruin your life, Braden.”

“You are not ruining my life. Every day since meeting you, I have prayed for guidance. I’ve prayed for signs, and for the Lord to guide my path, and do you know what he keeps showing me?”

I shake my head, not wanting to hear the next part, even though I know what it is, because I know those words will break me, and I won’t be able to turn away. And I need to leave. I need to be sure that no one will get hurt because of me. I couldn’t stand it.

“He keeps showing me you, Emma.”

“Don’t Braden, please. I can’t hear this. I can’t do this. I want…I want to stop lying, I want to stop feeling this way. I want it all to just stop…I…just can’t anymore. I can’t. It’s all is too much, and I’m too fucking scared.”

He takes another step toward me. “You don’t need to be. I’m going to go through this with you. Whatever you want, whenever you need me, I’m going to be there for you. I’m going to break you free, and I’m going to take care of you the way you deserve to be cared for. You’re all that matters to me now.”

“Why, Braden? Why?” I cry.

“Because. I’m in love with you, Emma.”

“You can’t love me, Braden, you can’t,” I gasp, my tears falling as I shake my head again. “Please let this go.”

“I can’t,” he says. “You’re my reason for being born. I know it in my heart.”

I shake my head harder, panic gripping my heart as my fear of what Gabe is going to do takes over. I want Braden so much, and before he came along, I was walking through life feeling dead inside. Then his touch and his kindness woke something inside me that so desperately wants to get out and live be free. But the consequences…oh god, I can’t face this.

“No, Braden! No!” I yell, my head hurting from my desires warring with my reality. Then I turn and make a run for the exit and pull on the door. “Why is this locked?” My voice rises in a panic as I rattle at the handle and bang against the wood. “Why is this locked?!” I drop my head against the wood and cry out of sheer frustration.

I see the panic in her eyes and her desperation to run away and protect herself from what being around me is making her feel. And I understand that, it’s how she’s survived under the conditions she’s been forced to live with. She’s too afraid to run, too afraid to speak up for what she wants, too afraid to let anyone help her for fear they could get hurt too.

The other day in the church, I saw a spark of a resolution in her when faced with the knowledge of her sister’s impeding nuptials and pregnancy. In that moment, her self-preservation skills kicked in, and she was willing to do what needed to be done to survive. But now she’s fighting that, perhaps to protect me, perhaps to protect herself, but I can see her retreating back into her shell, and I need to pull her out. I need to give her a reason to fight. I need to be her reason to fight.

I walk up behind her and gently run my hand through her long blonde hair. “I’m not trying to trap you, Emma. If you really want to leave, I’ll unlock the door,” I tell her gently. “But, I would like you to stay and talk to me. I told you that I’d find a way to keep you and your family safe, and I will. But, you need to talk to me, and you need to trust me to do the right thing. I know that’s hard for you. I know you’re probably afraid of trusting any man after what you’ve been through. But I promise you, I will do everything in my power to protect you.”

“How, Braden? How?” she cries, her face still hidden against the door. “I can’t leave him. I can’t call the cops. I can’t go to my father. I can’t go to my sister. I can’t run away to a shelter. I can’t disappear and I can’t even kill myself to get away from him. The only way I see out of this relationship is death. It’s the only thing that’s going to set me free. And if I tell him I lied, if I tell him everything, he’ll give it to me.”

Gripping her by the waist, I turn her around, although she keeps her head turned as her fists ball up, and she pushes against my chest. “You can’t think like that, Emma! There is always another way. You just have to be willing to fight. Do you hear me? You have to fight. And I will fight for you. I will fight for you,” I say, as I take a hold of her wrists to stop her fighting me – I’m not the one she should be fighting, but I am the one she feels safe enough to fight against.

Gently, I place a kiss on her balled up fists, one at a time. “You just have to trust me,” I whisper, feeling her relax as I release her hands then reach out to cup her face in my hands, turning her so she’s looking at me. “Trust me,” I repeat, then I bring my mouth to hers, somehow knowing that she’ll understand my actions more than she’ll hear my words.

It takes a moment for her to respond – she doesn’t want to believe me or she’s too afraid to take a risk on what this is. But, I feel her moan of acquiescence vibrate into my mouth, and suddenly, everything changes, and she’s kissing me back with a passion that sets a fire burning inside me. And when her fingers begin to work on buttons, I don’t stop her. I can’t.