The Confidence Myth (16 page)

effective communication,
34

fear of public speaking,
31

passion and success,
96

receiving feedback,
46

sponsor relationships,
76

trusting your sponsor,
79

uncertainty,
27

mad mind-chatter

about,
11

recognizing and changing,
15

self-doubt,
12

Mandela, Nelson,
5

mentors/mentorship.
See also

alliances; sponsors/sponsorship

being your own mentor,
17

Forget a Mentor, Find a Sponsor
(Hewlett),
71

importance of,
3

inner mentoring,
83

Mintzberg, Henry,
83

mistakes, perfectionism and,
21

Mohr, Tara,
75
,
83

moving straight ahead (using intuition),
87
–88

Mulcahy, Anne,
18

Murphy, Kathy

candor as respect,
50
–51

declining opportunities,
95

giving feedback,
46

reading the room,
30
–31

saying no,
90

sponsor relationships,
78

myths and truths

confident women,
5

feedback,
42

intuition/inner compass,
82

leadership presence,
25

not having needed skills,
17

power parameters,
55

preparation for career stages,
12

sponsorship,
70

transferring fear,
9

negative attitude,
4
–5,
11
,
12

negative beliefs,
14
–15

negative feedback,
50

negotiations

for balancing life and work,
65

making trade-offs,
63
,
69

power parameters,
61
–63

win-win rule of,
63

nervous energy,
16
–17

opinions,
18

opportunities

declining,
90
,
95

looking for,
96

uncertainty about,
88
–89

overachievement,
16

passion,
96

paying it forward,
79
,
95

people-pleasing behavior,
11
,
56
,
57
,
104

people sensitivity,
41

perfectionism

being realistic about,
59

letting go of,
21
–22

and sting of feedback,
44

picking your battles,
26
,
96

Playing Big: Find Your Voice,

Your Mission, Your Message
(Mohr),
75

poise under pressure,
26
–28,
28
–29

positive attitude,
20

power of your fears,
11

power parameters

balancing work and family,
64
–66

myth and truth about creating,
55

negotiating,
61
–63

saying no,
55
,
56
–59

saying yes to yourself,
66
–67

scenarios for,
68

setting boundaries with yourself,
59
–60

tools for,
69

power players,
99

Power Tools

attracting a sponsor,
81

giving/receiving feedback,
54

leading with presence,
41

moving forward,
98
–99

online resources for finding,
97

saying no and negotiations,
69

stepping up,
24

trusting your inner compass,
92

preparation for career stages,
12

presence.
See
leadership presence

presentations/speeches,
29
–33

pressure, poise under,
26
–28,
28
–29

proceeding with caution,
88

promoting yourself,
74
–75

public speaking

language and voice tone,
43
–44

preparing for,
31
–33

reading the room,
29
–31

Quiroz, Lisa,
78

raises,
62
–63

reading the room,
29
–31

relationships.
See
alliances; mentors/mentorship; sponsors/sponsorship

reputation,
73
,
81

respect, qualities for earning,
73

results, producing,
72
,
73

riding the wave (experience),
94
–95

risk taking

best bet action for,
20
–21

positive attitude,
20

rewards of,
19
–20

by women,
4
,
71

Sandberg, Sheryl,
12

negotiating power parameters,
61
,
62
–63

pleasing everyone,
57

soliciting feedback,
48

saying no

benefits of,
98

difficulty of,
55

myth and truth about,
55

negotiations and,
69

to opportunities,
90

tips for,
58
,
60
–61

saying yes

not giving in to,
57
–58

by saying no,
60
–61

to yourself,
66
–67

self-awareness,
29
,
41

self-carriage,
39

self-doubt

projecting your,
12

during stressful moments,
13

self-estimation,
78
–79

self-promotion,
74
–75,
94

sensitivity to audience,
41

Shipman, Claire,
4

small, thinking,
15
–17

speaking up

assertiveness and,
25
–26

benefits of,
72

nervousness about,
10
–11,
98

when wobbly,
17
–18

speaking with presence,
31
–33.
See also
leadership

presence

speeches/presentations,
29
–33

sponsors/sponsorship.
See also

alliances; mentors/mentorship

building relationships,
76
,
78
,
99

compared to mentors/mentorship,
70
–71

Forget a Mentor, Find a Sponsor
(Hewlett),
71

how to attract a sponsor,
72
–74,
74
–75,
81

myth and truth about attracting,
70

paying it forward,
79

relationship development for,
76
–78,
99

scenarios for,
80

sponsor's estimation of you,
78
–79

trust and,
71

spot-check inventories,
24

standards, unrealistic,
59
–60,
69

standing out,
72
–74

stepping up

scenarios for,
23

to stretch goals,
21
–22

voicing your opinions,
18

Storey, Debbie

determining your boundaries,
61
–62

feedback,
35
,
47

intuition for decision making,
85

nervousness,
16
,
18

trusting that you are ready,
93
–94

strategic alliances,
71
.
See also
sponsors/sponsorship

strengths,
13

stress,
13

stretch goals

finding,
24

stepping up to,
21
–22

success, correlation between intuition and,
83

support.
See also
mentors/mentorship; sponsors/sponsorship

finding good,
97

mobilizing,
17

reaching out for,
22

survey.
See
Women and Confidence Survey

taking action,
3
–5,
9
,
16
,
21

thinking small,
15
–17

“thin-slicing,”
85

time management

balancing work and life,
66
–67

for working with your sponsor,
76
,
78

tone of voice,
43

tools.
See
Power Tools

transferring fear, myth and

truth about,
9

trust

building,
77

using intuition for,
89

in yourself,
84
,
92
,
93
–94

truth and myths.
See
myths

and truths

unconscious processes,
85

unsolicited feedback,
45
,
46

Valenti, Jessica,
57

Verjee, Zain,
55

voice tone,
43

vulnerability,
33

Waller, Kathy

artful listening,
35

art of self-promotion,
74

being candid,
51

dressing the part,
38

promoting yourself,
94

receiving feedback,
46
–47

sponsorship relationships,
77

taking action despite fears,
16

unrealistic standards,
60

Winfrey, Oprah,
82

win-win rule of negotiations,
63

Women and Confidence

Survey

about,
5
–6,
106
–108

advice to your younger self,
84

decision making,
86

enhancements to confidence,
72

feedback issues,
44

inhibitors of confidence,
14
,
17
–18,
59

negative mind-talk,
11

risk taking and confidence,
19

saying no,
56

survey instrument,
108
–115

WomenWorking.com,
44
,
97

work-life balance,
64
–66

writing about concerns,
19
,
21

Yaccarino, Linda,
72
,
76

Zintz, Andrea,
27
,
45
–46

Zuckerberg, Mark,
57

Helene Lerner
is the founder of WomenWorking.com. She is a prolific author, independent public television host, Emmy-award-winning executive producer, and workplace consultant. She covers a wide array of issues, such as women and confidence, harnessing personal power in changing times, calculated risk taking, reinvention, breaking barriers, and more.

Since 1994 Helene has produced and hosted more than twenty televised specials under the umbrella of her company, Creative Expansions, Inc. She received American Public Television's MVP Award for her outstanding contributions to public television. She began her career as a teacher in the New York City public school system. Using her innate business instincts, Helene later pursued sales and marketing assignments during the 1980s, working her way up through the management ranks of the
New York Times
. She is currently the CEO of Creative Expansions, Inc., a multimedia company she created whose mission is to empower women and girls.

In addition to writing books and producing television specials, Helene maintains a private practice, coaching individuals and groups and providing tools to increase their sense of empowerment. She also advises corporations on leadership and diversity issues. A member of Phi Beta Kappa, Helene holds an MBA from Pace University and a master's
in education from City College in New York City, where she currently resides.

Her website, WomenWorking.com, the premier website for career women, offers strategies on leadership, advancement, and navigating work and life, as well as a multimedia blog with posts from career coaches. She has a robust social media presence, providing tips and inspiration to loyal followers.

  Facebook:
Womenworking.com

  Twitter:
@Womenworking

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