The Complete Plays (52 page)

FAUSTUS
Choke thyself, glutton! What art thou, the sixth?

SLOTH
I am
Sloth. I was begotten on a sunny bank, where I have lain ever since, and you have done me great injury to bring me from thence. Let me be carried thither again by Gluttony and Lechery. I'll not speak another word for a king's ransom.

FAUSTUS
What are you, Mistress Minx, the seventh and last?

LECHERY
Who, I, sir? I am one that loves an inch of raw mutton

160   better than an
ell
of fried stockfish, and the first letter of my
name begins with Lechery.

LUCIFER
Away, to hell, to hell!

Exeunt the
SINS.

Now, Faustus, how dost thou like this?

FAUSTUS
O, this feeds my soul!

LUCIFER
Tut, Faustus, in hell is all manner of delight.

FAUSTUS
O, might I see hell and return again, how happy were I then!

LUCIFER
Thou shalt. I will send for thee at midnight. [
Presenting
a book
] In meantime, take this book, peruse it throughly, and

170   thou shalt turn thyself into what shape thou wilt.

FAUSTUS
[
taking the book
] Great thanks, mighty Lucifer. This will I keep as chary as my life.

LUCIFER
Farewell, Faustus, and think on the devil.

FAUSTUS
Farewell, great Lucifer. Come, Mephistopheles.

Exeunt
.

[
Chorus 2
]

Enter
WAGNER
alone
.

WAGNER

Learnèd Faustus,

To know the secrets of astronomy

Graven in the book of Jove's high firmament,

Did mount himself to scale Olympus' top,

Being seated in a chariot burning bright,

Drawn by the strength of
yoky
dragons' necks.

He now is gone
to prove cosmography
,

And, as I guess, will first arrive at Rome

To see the Pope and manner of his court,

And take some part of holy Peter's feast

10   That to this day is highly solemnized.

Exit
WAGNER.

Enter
FAUSTUS
and
MEPHISTOPHELES
.

FAUSTUS

Having now, my good Mephistopheles,

Passed with delight the stately town of Trier,

Environed round with airy mountain tops,

With walls of flint and deep entrenchèd lakes,

Not to be won by any conquering prince;

From Paris next, coasting the realm of France,

We saw the river Maine fall into Rhine,

Whose banks are set with groves of fruitful vines.

Then up to Naples, rich Campania,

10   Whose buildings, fair and gorgeous to the eye,

The streets straight forth and paved with finest brick,

Quarters
the town in four equivalents,

There saw we learnèd
Maro's
golden tomb,

The way he cut an English mile in length

Thorough a rock of stone in one night's space.

From thence to Venice, Padua, and the rest,

In midst of which a
sumptuous temple
stands

That threats the stars with her aspiring top.

Thus hitherto hath Faustus spent his time.

20   But tell me now, what resting place is this?

Hast thou, as erst I did command,

Conducted me within the walls of Rome?

MEPHISTOPHELES
Faustus, I have; and because we will not be unprovided, I have taken up his holiness' privy chamber for our use.

FAUSTUS
I hope his holiness will bid us welcome.

MEPHISTOPHELES
Tut, 'tis no matter, man, we'll
be bold
with his good cheer.

And now, my Faustus, that thou mayst perceive

30   What Rome containeth to delight thee with,

Know that
this city
stands upon seven hills

That underprops the groundwork of the same.

Just through
the midst runs flowing Tiber's stream,

With winding banks that cut it in two parts,

Over the which four stately bridges lean,

That makes safe passage to each part of Rome.

Upon the bridge called Ponte Angelo

Erected is a castle passing strong,

Within whose walls such store of ordnance are,

40   And double cannons, framed of carvèd brass,

As match the days within one complete year,

Besides the gates and high
pyramides

Which Julius Caesar brought from Africa.

FAUSTUS

Now, by the kingdoms of infernal rule,

Of Styx, Acheron, and the fiery lake

Of ever-burning Phlegethon, I swear

That I do long to see the monuments

And situation of bright splendent Rome.

Come, therefore, let's away!

MEPHISTOPHELES

Nay, Faustus, stay. I know you'd fain see the Pope

50   
And take
some part of holy Peter's feast,

Where thou shalt see a troupe of
bald-pate
friars

Whose
summum bonum
is in belly cheer.

FAUSTUS

Well, I am content to compass then some sport,

And by their folly make us merriment.

Then charm me that I may be invisible, to do what I please unseen of any whilst I stay in Rome.

MEPHISTOPHELES
So, Faustus, now do what thou wilt, thou shalt not be discerned.

Sound a sennet. Enter the
POPE
and the
CARDINAL OF LORRAINE
to the banquet, with
FRIARS
attending
.

POPE
My lord of Lorraine, will't please you draw near?

60   

FAUSTUS
Fall to, and the devil choke you an you spare.

POPE
How now, who's that which spake? Friars, look about.

FRIAR
Here's nobody, if it like your holiness.

POPE
[
presenting a dish
] My lord, here is a dainty dish was sent me from the bishop of Milan.

FAUSTUS
I thank you, sir. (
Snatch it
)

POPE
How now, who's that which snatched the meat from me?

Will no man look? My lord, this dish was sent me from the cardinal of Florence.

FAUSTUS
[
snatching the dish
] You say true. I'll ha't.

70   

POPE
What, again? My lord, I'll drink to your grace.

FAUSTUS
[
snatching the cup
] I'll pledge your grace.

LORRAINE
My lord, it may be some
ghost
, newly crept out of purgatory, come to beg a pardon of your holiness.

POPE
It may be so. Friars, prepare a
dirge
to lay the fury of this ghost. Once again, my lord, fall to.

The
POPE
crosseth himself
.

FAUSTUS

What, are you crossing of yourself?

Well, use that trick no more, I would advise you.

[
The
POPE
]
cross
[
es himself
]
again
.

Well, there's a second time. Aware the third,

80   I give you fair warning.

[
The
POPE]
cross
[
es himself
]
again, and
FAUSTUS
hits him a box of the ear, and they all
[
except
FAUSTUS
and
MEPHISTOPHELES
]
run away
.

Come on, Mephistopheles, what shall we do?

MEPHISTOPHELES
Nay, I know not. We shall be
cursed
with bell, book, and candle.

FAUSTUS

How? Bell, book, and candle, candle, book, and bell,

Forward and backward, to curse Faustus to hell.

Anon you shall hear a hog grunt, a calf bleat, and an ass bray,

Because it is Saint Peter's holy day.

Enter all the
FRIARS
to sing the dirge
.

FRIAR

Come, brethren, let's about our business with good devotion.

    [
The
FRIARS]
sing this
.

Cursèd be he that stole away his holiness' meat from the table.

90   
Maledicat Dominus
.

Cursèd be he that struck his holiness a blow on the face.

Maledicat Dominus
.

Cursèd be he that took Friar Sandelo a blow on the pate.

Maledicat Dominus
.

Cursèd be he that disturbeth our holy dirge.

Maledicat Dominus
.

Cursèd be he that took away his holiness' wine.

Maledicat Dominus.

Et omnes sancti
. Amen
.

[
FAUSTUS
and
MEPHISTOPHELES]
beat the
FRIARS
,
and fling fireworks among them, and so exeunt
.

Enter
ROBIN
[
with a conjuring book
]
and
RAFE
with a silver goblet
.

ROBIN
Come, Rafe, did not I tell thee we were for ever made by this Doctor Faustus' book?
Ecce signum!
Here's
a simple
purchase for horse-keepers. Our horses shall
eat no hay
as long as this lasts.

Enter the
VINTNER
.

RAFE
But Robin, here comes the vintner.

ROBIN
Hush, I'll gull him supernaturally. Drawer, I hope all is paid. God be with you. Come, Rafe.

[
They start to leave
.]

VINTNER
[
to
ROBIN]
Soft, sir, a word with you. I must yet have a goblet paid from you ere you go.

ROBIN
I, a goblet? Rafe, I, a goblet? I scorn you, and you are

10   but a
etc
. I, a goblet? Search me.

VINTNER
I mean so, sir, with your favour.

[
The
VINTNER
searches
ROBIN
.]

ROBIN
How say you now?

VINTNER
I must say somewhat to your fellow – you, sir.

RAFE
Me, sir? Me, sir? Search your fill.

[
He passes the goblet to
ROBIN;
the
VINTNER
searches
RAFE
.]

Now, sir, you may be ashamed to burden honest men with a matter of truth.

VINTNER
Well, t'one of you hath this goblet about you.

ROBIN
You lie, drawer, 'tis afore me. Sirrah, you, I'll teach ye
to impeach honest men. Stand by. I'll
scour you
for a goblet.

20   Stand aside, you had best, I charge you in the name of
  Beelzebub.

[
He passes the goblet to
RAFE
.]

Look to the goblet, Rafe.

VINTNER
What mean you, sirrah?

ROBIN
I'll tell you what I mean. (
He reads.
)

‘
Sanctobulorum
Periphrasticon!'
Nay, I'll
tickle
you, vintner.

Look to the goblet, Rafe.
‘Polypragmos Belseborams framanto pacostiphos tostu Mephistopheles!'
etc.

Enter
MEPHISTOPHELES
, [
who
]
sets squibs at their backs; they run about. [Exit
MEPHISTOPHELES
.]

VINTNER
O,
nomine Domine!
What mean'st thou, Robin? Thou
30   hast no goblet.

Enter to them
MEPHISTOPHELES
.

RAFE
Peccatum peccatorum!
Here's thy goblet, good vintner.

ROBIN
Misericordia pro nobis!
What shall we do? Good devil, forgive me now, I'll never rob thy library more.

MEPHISTOPHELES
Vanish, villains! Th'one like an ape, another like a bear, the third an ass, for doing this enterprise.

[
Exit
VINTNER
.]

Monarch of hell, under whose black survey

Great potentates do kneel with awful fear,

Upon whose altars thousand souls do lie,

How am I vexèd with these villains' charms!

40   From Constantinople am I hither come

Only for pleasure of these damnèd slaves.

ROBIN
How, from Constantinople? You have had a great journey. Will you take sixpence in your purse to pay for your supper and be gone?

MEPHISTOPHELES
Well, villains, for your presumption I transform thee [
to
ROBIN]
into an ape and thee [to
RAFE]
into a dog. And so, begone!

Exit
[
MEPHISTOPHELES]
.

ROBIN
How, into an ape? That's brave. I'll have fine sport with the boys; I'll get nuts and apples enow.

50   
RAFE
And I must be a dog.

ROBIN
I'faith, thy head will never be out of the pottage pot.

Exeunt
.

Enter
CHORUS
.