The Chance: A Novel (59 page)

Now she would have to change her prayer. That the broken
things would get fixed, and that one day soon Ellie would find among the ashes of the past what Caroline had already found.

Her happy-ever-after in Jesus.

C
aroline had only just sat down at her desk at work that Monday morning when Nolan Cook walked in. Again she wondered if she were dreaming. The basketball player had been on her mind since Ellie arrived yesterday. She and Ellie talked about him late last night, and only then did Caroline understand the gravity of his absence in her life.

“I’ll never see him again; I already know that.” Ellie sat with her knees pulled up to her chest, her shoes off. Despite the years they’d lost, she looked like a teenager again. “He’s famous now. The guy everyone wants.” She laughed, but only to hide her obvious sadness. “There’s no way back. Even here in Savannah.”

Then Ellie had told her about the buried tackle box beneath the oak tree in Gordonston Park. About the letters inside. The date they had set to meet was tomorrow. Ellie was convinced that Nolan had forgotten the meeting and the chance it represented for the two of them to find each other.

Which was why as Nolan walked into her office, Caroline had to discreetly brace herself to keep from falling out of her chair. He wore dark blue jeans and a white V-neck T-shirt. She was the only one at the front desk that early, and the waiting room held just one older couple. She was trying to figure out what to say as he walked up and stuck his hands in his jeans pockets.

“Mrs. Tucker.” He nodded, humble and polite. Much like he’d been as a kid. “It’s been a long time.”

“Nolan.” Caroline stood and looked over her shoulder
toward the business office. “Hold on.” She found a coworker to cover for her at the front desk, then she joined Nolan in the waiting room. “Can we talk outside?”

“Yes. Please.”

The older couple didn’t seem to recognize Nolan, so they could have these few minutes to themselves. Nolan motioned to a metal bench just down from the office door, and the two of them sat facing each other.

“I won’t take your time.” The morning was warm and cloudy. Neither of them needed sunglasses to look at each other. “I’m here because of Ellie.”

Caroline wasn’t sure what to say first. “How did you find me?”

“The short answer?” His eyes held an unmistakable kindness. “The Lord answered my prayers.” He managed a slight smile. “Ryan Kelly? The guitarist for Peyton Anders?”

Hearing the name changed her expression. Caroline could feel it. There was no way to stop the shame she felt whenever the country singer’s name came up in conversation. She nodded, fighting her way back to the moment. “Ryan stopped by here not long ago.”

“He and his wife came to one of my games. I was talking about my childhood. How I lost my best friend when she moved to San Diego the summer we were fifteen.”

Caroline felt her heart skip a beat. “That’s crazy.”

“Exactly.” He ran his hand through his still-blond hair. “He asked me if I knew a Caroline Tucker. We figured out the rest pretty fast.” The look in his eyes grew deeper. “I came as soon as I had a day off.” He folded his hands, and for a long time, he stared at the ground. When he looked up, his eyes were damp. “Ma’am, I’ve looked for Ellie since the day she left.”

Caroline’s mind began to spin. Nolan had been looking for
Ellie all this time? Was this really happening? She wanted to interrupt him, to tell him that she’d found Ellie, but Nolan was talking, and the shock was too great.

Frustration and intensity darkened his expression. “It’s like she fell off the face of the earth.” He leaned his forearms on his knees, as if he believed he was out of options. “Ryan said you haven’t seen her. But if you have any hints, anything that would point me in the right direction, please . . . I have to know.”

The wind felt like it had been knocked from Caroline’s lungs. The young man sitting beside her didn’t only remember Ellie. He was consumed with her.

Her silent prayer came with her next breath.
Dear God . . . thank you.
“Nolan . . .” She smiled, trying to figure out where to start. “You won’t believe this.”

“Yes?”

Caroline didn’t know what to say first. For a few seconds she could only bask in the reality that God was here. His Spirit hovered over the place where they sat. There was no question that God was working out a miracle.

Any other explanation was impossible.

Chapter
Twenty-four

I
t was a miracle. Caroline Tucker had no other explanation for how it felt to have her daughter in her arms again. She hadn’t seen her since she was a teenager, but she would’ve recognized her anywhere. Her eyes, her pretty face, her graceful way. She had grown up. The teenage girl was forever gone.

But she was still Ellie.

Caroline’s tears came despite her joy. Her daughter was home! After eleven years she was here, and Caroline was never going to lose her again. She shaded her eyes and checked on John, at the park again, playing basketball with his friends. She would introduce them later. For now she watched as Ellie jogged back to the car and opened the back door. She bent down and seemed to talk to someone.

A few seconds passed, and as Ellie backed up, a little blond girl stepped out. Caroline’s gasp was silent. Ellie had a daughter? She had missed knowing her grandchild? What was Alan thinking, keeping her letters from Ellie? More tears rushed from the depths of her tortured soul. The girl wasn’t a baby. She was older than kindergarten. The losses piled up.

Ellie held the child’s hand and walked her to where her mother stood. “This is Kinzie.”

Kinzie?
Caroline met Ellie’s eyes. The street where Ellie and Nolan met so often. Her daughter might’ve been gone for over a decade, but their ability to communicate remained. Caroline put her hands on her knees and looked at the little girl. “You have very kind eyes, Kinzie. They’re beautiful.”

Ellie’s daughter was still partly asleep. But at the sound of the compliment, she opened her eyes a little wider. “Thank you.” She looked intrigued. She batted her eyelashes a few times. “You’re my grandma Tucker, right?”

“Yes.” Caroline wiped her cheeks, knowing that her tears would only confuse the child. “Looks like we have a lot to catch up on.”

Kinzie nodded and leaned against Ellie. “My mommy says you used to take her to the park to play on the swings.”

Her words wrapped themselves around Caroline and told her something she was desperate to know: Ellie remembered. She remembered, and she had missed Caroline and her growing-up days in Savannah as much as Caroline had. Caroline lifted her eyes to Ellie’s, and again the look they shared held years of loss, but an even greater hope. She found her voice and put her hand on Kinzie’s shoulder. “It’s been a while . . . but I definitely like playing on swings.”

“Can I have a drink of water, please?” Kinzie peered past Caroline into the apartment.

“Of course, honey.” Caroline opened the door and ushered Ellie and Kinzie inside. She helped the child with a glass of water and gave her a plate of graham crackers, and then she and Ellie took a spot in the adjacent room.

“Dad gave me the letters. A few days ago.” Ellie reached for
her hand. “I thought you didn’t want to find me. Like . . . ” She looked out the window for a long time, as if trying to see into the past. “Like you forgot about me.”

“Never, Ellie.” Caroline looked deep into her daughter’s familiar eyes. “I’ve been here the whole time. Praying, believing. Knowing that somehow you’d find your way back.”

“You wrote once a week.” She covered her mother’s hand with her own. “When I realized that, I left the next morning.”

Ellie told her about the letter she’d opened the night before she left. The one Caroline had written the day before Kinzie was born. Caroline remembered it well. “I felt like you were hurt or in trouble. Like something was wrong. I couldn’t shake it.”

“Grandma?” Kinzie had gotten down from her chair and joined them in the living room. “Can I sit by you?”

“Yes, sweetie.” Caroline released her daughter’s hands and patted the place on the couch next to her. “We three girls can sit here and catch up. How’s that?”

Kinzie smiled. “I like that.” She hesitated and patted Ellie’s shoulder as she walked by and took the spot beside Caroline.

There was no way to describe the fullness in Caroline’s heart. Her daughter and granddaughter on either side of her, the walls that had stood between them, forever gone. They had so much to talk about, so many moments to catch up on.

Ellie told Caroline about struggling with her father and never feeling good enough; she told her about C.J. Kinzie hung on every word, so Ellie’s expression told Caroline there were details she would have to share later. “He was very kind and very handsome.” Ellie smiled at her daughter. “Kinzie’s laugh sounds a little like his.”

Kinzie leaned in to Caroline’s arm, saddened by the story of her father, though she had clearly heard it before. Caroline’s
heart filled with pride over the way Ellie had raised the girl. She was well-behaved and clearly very close to Ellie.

Carefully, again seeming to take note of Kinzie’s presence, Ellie explained that her dad hadn’t been in favor of her relationship with C.J., so when she’d gotten pregnant, she’d moved in with a friend. Ellie’s eyes held Caroline’s for a long moment. “We didn’t talk until the other day. When he brought me the box of letters.”

Caroline had always figured Ellie had a wonderful relationship with her dad, that the two of them had connected to the point where he filled her need for both parents. Instead, Ellie had been alone in the world, raising Kinzie, since she was nineteen. Anger and sorrow and helpless frustration fought for first position in Caroline’s soul.

“I have a question.” Caroline didn’t really want to ask. Especially when she had a feeling she already knew the answer. “Have you talked to Nolan Cook? Since you left Savannah?”

“No, Grandma.” Kinzie popped her blond head closer so Caroline couldn’t miss her.

Caroline put her arm around the girl’s shoulders and turned to her. “You know him?”

“Mommy and I watched him on TV when we had lunch at the zoo.” She smiled at Ellie. “He’s very nice. That’s what Mommy said.”

“He is, baby.” Ellie acknowledged Kinzie, sharing the moment with her before lifting her eyes to Caroline’s. “We haven’t talked.” She looked unsure whether she should say the next part. “I changed my name. After I moved out of Dad’s house.”

Caroline wondered when the parade of surprises would end. “What’d you change it to?”

“Ellie Anne.” She didn’t look sorry about the fact. “I dropped the Tucker.”

An understanding filled Caroline. “So he couldn’t have found you if he’d tried.”

“Right.” She glanced at Kinzie. “Everything’s different. He found his dream.” She paused, and this time she locked eyes with the child for several seconds. Her smile was as genuine as summer. “He found his, and I found mine.”

Caroline could feel Kinzie beaming beside her. “That’s my name, too, Grandma. Kinzie Anne.”

Who could blame Ellie for no longer wanting the name Tucker? After how Alan had treated her? She cringed on the inside, imagining what it must’ve been like for Ellie, coming home and telling her father that she was pregnant. After what had happened with Caroline and Peyton? He must have called her unthinkable names, accused her of the worst possible things.

Again, they could talk later. For now Caroline put her hand on Ellie’s knee and gave her a look that said how very sorry she was. Her other arm was still around Kinzie, and she leaned close and kissed the top of the girl’s head. “I think your name is beautiful, baby girl.”

“Baby girl!” Kinzie giggled. “That’s what my mommy sometimes calls me.”

Caroline looked at Ellie, drinking in the reality of her presence, trying to believe it. Her daughter was here, and she was home. “I used to call Ellie that when she was your age.”

Kinzie’s eyes grew wide, and she made a quick gasp. “That ’splains it then.”

“Yes, it does.” Caroline listened for the sound of the basketball across the street. She could hear it, but she needed to
check on him. Every half hour or so she would catch a visual of him at the window or walk over to the park to watch him play. “I have an idea.” She tried to look excited, despite the gravity of Ellie’s story. “Let’s walk to the park. That way you can meet John.”