The Bear Who Loved Me (12 page)

“And whatever you do, don't let Becca down here.”

B
ecca heard the explosions, the sound jolting her enough that she squeaked in alarm. Then gunfire erupted, sounding a thousand times scarier than it did on TV. And then…nothing.

What the hell was going on?

She wanted to get out and see. She wanted to cower on the floor and hope that no one spotted her. She wanted to be in Australia looking at kangaroos with Theo at some nature park. Instead, she just stayed where she was and prayed.

Then her phone buzzed. She was so grateful she fumbled, flipping it around in her hand. But by the time she could see it, all she read was a short text from Carl:

The worst is over. Stay calm.

She read that a thousand times while her heart steadied to about twice its normal rate. And while she tried to control her breathing, she decided that “stay calm” were the most useless two words ever. If she was panicking, they wouldn't help. If she was calm, then they were completely unnecessary. And if she was vacillating back and forth between the two, then “stay calm” just pissed her off.

She wanted answers, damn it! Was everyone okay? Had they found Theo? Did they need help? Why hadn't she chosen to be a nurse or a cop? Some profession that was useful at a time like this? No, she'd gotten a business degree and baked castle cakes.

But rather than give in to her wildly shifting moods, she kept herself calm enough to respond. She didn't want to distract Carl with questions he couldn't answer, and she sure as hell didn't want him staring at his phone while bullets were flying. So she keyed in a simple response, though it took her shaking fingers three tries to get it right.

Okay. I'll wait for news.

And that's what she was going to do. She was going to sit there in the cab of Carl's truck. His calming scent surrounded her in the leather seat and the extra-soft flannel shirt he'd loaned her, and she was going to wait for him. And then later, when this was all over, she was going to learn first aid.

Hell, she should start right now. She could pull up any number of websites from which she could learn basic field medicine. So she did. Reception was weak, but thankfully not dead. And though the pictures were gory and nauseating, especially since she kept imagining Theo or Carl in them, she held it together long enough to read the same page seven times.

Retention was obviously not working well.

Then she saw Officer Tonya walking steadily to the truck, her expression grim. Though, to be fair, the woman's expression was usually grim.

Becca jumped out of the cab, rushing forward. “Did you find Theo? Is it over? Is everyone okay?”

The woman held up her hand, and Becca slammed her jaw shut. She needed answers and would not do anything to interfere with that. The woman nodded, a flash of gratitude on her face.

“First off, everyone's fine, as far as I'm aware. Though Carl and Alan are going to hear from me regarding that stunt. Not to mention Mark.” The woman glared in the same direction the men had gone.

So that was good. No one shot. “But did you find Theo?”

The woman took a breath. “No. We don't think so.”

“You don't think so? What does that mean? I'm going in there. I have to see—”

A male voice cut through her words. “Becca, wait!”

Carl.

She spun around to see him, her gaze checking everything she could think of for injuries. Face fine. No blood. Moving smoothly. Everything fine. Good. That meant she could stop worrying about him.

She tossed him his keys and turned to Officer Tonya. “Show me.”

The damned woman didn't move. Instead, she waited while Carl made it to her side.

Becca glared at them both. “What aren't you telling me?”

“Tell me about the clothing Theo had on,” Officer Tonya said in a crisp tone. “You said he was wearing a University of Michigan sweatshirt, is that right?”

“Yes.” Oh God.

“Was there anything distinguishing about it? A rip or a stain? A lot of kids wear U of M stuff.”

“No, no. It was just a sweatshirt.”

“What about his jeans or shoes? Do you remember the brand?”

“No! I already told you—”

“But would you recognize them? If you saw them?”

Becca took a deep breath and leveled the woman with her steadiest expression. “You need to take me to those things right now.”

Carl answered instead. “It's not a place you should see. It's not a nice basement.”

She swallowed. “Was Theo in there?”

“We don't know,” Carl answered.

“But you suspect.”

Officer Tonya exhaled slowly. “It's an active crime scene. I can get pictures—”

“A picture isn't going to do it. And what you're doing right now? It's making me insane. Look, I may not look as strong as Officer Tough as Nails here, but Theo's my son. For his sake, I'd walk into hell itself.” When that didn't seem the sway them, she tried a different tack. “Theo and I have a shorthand between us. Symbols and stuff that wouldn't mean anything to anyone else, but I'd recognize it if I saw it. If you think Theo might have been in there, you have to let me look.”

Becca froze her body into the most coldly determined stance she could manage. Her chin was lifted, her brows lowered, and her hands were clenched at her sides. And while she kept her expression fierce, she looked at Carl. He was the Max, so he was the one she had to convince. “I've dragged my sister's drunken ass out of bars at two a.m. I took care of Theo every time he had the flu. And I've nursed my mother through lung cancer. I'm not going to freak at a scary basement.”

Carl sighed. “It's not the same thing.”

“I don't care. If Theo was there, I need to see it.”

He had to agree. He just had to. And in the end, he huffed out a breath. “I'm going to be with you every step of the way.”

“And you're both going to do exactly what I say,” Tonya snapped. Then she touched Becca's hand. “And call me Tonya. This kind of thing is easier with a friend.”

Becca nodded and tried to smile. No point in letting her nerves show as Carl helped her into the truck. They drove to the front gate of the Moss compound. It looked all rather normal to Becca for a large Michigan ranch. Except for the barbed-wire fencing. And the squad cars and ATF vehicles everywhere. It took forever to get past all the people checking IDs and the like. Tonya got them through while Becca gripped Carl's hand and tried not to panic. She didn't even know when she'd grabbed hold, but their fingers were intertwined, and she sure as hell wasn't going to let go until this was over. Plus, no matter how hard she squeezed, she was pretty sure his hand could take it. So she held on and kept moving steadily forward.

Until she came to the basement.

A set of stairs descended into a huge concrete nightmare, complete with bloodstains on the floor and four large animal cages.

“Don't you dare puke on my crime scene,” Tonya snapped.

“I won't,” she said, willing it to be true.

“I was talking to Mr. Max.”

It was a lie. That had definitely been directed at her, but she liked Tonya all the better for pretending otherwise. Meanwhile, Carl pulled her tighter against his side.

“If this gets too hard, you just say the word. I'll have you outside in a second, okay?”

“Okay.”

She couldn't see much. Tonya was blocking her view, which was just as well. The glimpses she'd gotten were bad enough. And the smell was worse. A foul, nauseating scent of bodily fluids and antiseptic. She glanced at Carl's hard expression and wondered what his grizzly senses were telling him. Nothing good, by the look on his face.

Then Tonya moved, gesturing to a pile of clothing in the corner near the stairs. Not just a University of Michigan sweatshirt, but jeans and shoes. A bloody tee and…

A body. Not in the pile of clothes, but just to the side.

Oh God.

A boy misshapen beyond belief. His face was distorted into a kind of muzzle and there was fur on his arms. But the body was a boy's, and one leg was human, the other a distorted thing that was part animal. She choked back a cry as she slammed a hand on her mouth.

She would not be sick. She would not be sick.

It helped that she knew immediately that it wasn't Theo. Awful to be grateful when she was looking at some boy's death, but she was so relieved that somehow she was able to cope.

“That's not Theo,” she managed.

“Good,” Tonya said. “Now look at the clothes. What can you tell me about them?”

Becca leaned down, but Carl stopped her with a quick squeeze on her arm. “You can't touch them.”

Right. Trace evidence. She straightened as she studied the pile. She didn't have to keep looking, but she wanted to be sure. She wanted to pretend for just a moment longer that what she was seeing couldn't possibly be true. But in the end, reality pressed hard against her mind and she needed a second breath before she could speak.

“The Nikes are Theo's. As is the U of M sweatshirt and those jeans.”

“You're sure?”

Yes. “Not a hundred percent, but that stain on the sleeve there? That's ketchup. He did that…” She thought back. “Thursday. I didn't get a chance to wash it, and he didn't care.”

Amazing that her voice didn't break on that. It wobbled a bit, but she squeezed Carl's hand and managed to steady herself.

“Okay, that's all we need,” Tonya said, but Becca turned back.

“No. Not yet.” It was time for her to see the entire basement. And that meant each cage. And anything else that was in this place of horrors.

“You sure?” Carl asked.

She didn't bother to answer, but clenched her jaw and stepped around Tonya. She looked at a row of smaller cages, recoiling when she saw a couple with dead monkeys in them. What the hell? She averted her gaze from them. She doubted Theo had anything to do with that. She had to look at the larger—

“There,” she said, and this time her voice did choke. There in the dirt by one of the cages was a dark, circular smudge. She went closer, her eyes tearing up as she recognized a lovingly drawn sunflower with a smiley face in the middle of it.

“What is it?” Tonya asked.

“It's the sunflower from Plants vs. Zombies,” she said as she turned into Carl's arms. She couldn't look anymore. She'd seen too much already. “We used to joke that everything would be better as soon as there was more sun,” she said, her voice strong as long as she kept her eyes closed and only breathed Carl. “He gave me the mug for Christmas.”

That last bit took away her control. Her voice broke, and she shuddered. Carl held her tight, cocooning her in his arms. “That's good news, Becca. I know it doesn't feel like it, but it shows he's alive.”

He was right. Theo was alive. She had to hold on to that. So she took a moment to gather her strength. To wipe away her tears and breathe the power that was all Carl. And from that place, she forced herself to turn around. She would see, damn it. And she would help them figure out what had happened to Theo.

Except she wasn't more help. No matter how much she looked, no matter what horrible thing she imagined, there wasn't more information she could reveal. Tonya insisted that she'd already given them a lot. They now knew that Theo had been here and that the bad guys were invested in keeping him alive. That last part was a guess, but Becca held on to it. It was all she had.

C
arl couldn't stop touching her. She'd cried for hours, curled quietly against his chest. He'd tucked her close and let his shirt sop up her tears. There weren't any words he could say to her. The whole situation haunted them both. Any boy trapped like that was bad enough, but holding a new shifter in a cage was beyond horrifying. The animal was strongest during the First Shift. To lock it in three square feet of space would make it choke on its own claustrophobia.

So they'd held each other while they waited for news. Eventually exhaustion claimed her, and her body fell lax against him in sleep. He could have left her then, but he had no desire to. She fit right where she was. And in time, his own eyes drifted shut until dawn, when she stirred against his side.

He woke immediately, delighting to see her eyes flutter open, the sunlight warming them to a brilliant blue. He watched awareness enter, then embarrassment. “I'm sorry,” she said as she pushed up onto an elbow. “Your arm must feel awful.”

“You don't weigh hardly anything,” he said, his voice thick with lust. Thankfully he was on his side, otherwise his morning wood would be tenting the sheets. “And I slept deeper than I have in years.”

“You must have been really tired,” she said.

He stroked the curve of her cheek, watching the skin turn rosy under his caress. “I'm with you. It makes things…settle.” He said the words because it was true, but the meaning reverberated in his mind. Man and bear were quieter around her. The war in his head went still for long moments. She had no idea what a miracle it was. In truth, he was only now beginning to understand the scope of it.

She didn't answer, just held his gaze. Then, because he was sure she was thinking, he gave her a quick update.

“The police didn't finish processing the crime scene until late last night. Tonya will call as soon as there's news, but the earliest we can expect anything is noon tomorrow. They've got their hands full getting all of Bryn's information. That other boy was his nephew.”

She winced. “How awful.”

“Yeah.” There was nothing more he could say to that, so he didn't. He just held her gaze and lost himself in the way her hair fell across her cheek and the soft curve of her breast in his borrowed shirt.

Then she moved, rolling out of his arms and his bed. “I'm just going to use the bathroom.”

“Use whatever you like.”

She went in, shutting the door quietly behind her while he lay in bed and listened. The sounds were normal domestic noises. Running water, the sound of brushing teeth, even the flush of the toilet had him smiling with a soft yearning. How strange to want those noises in his life. How bizarre to want them with someone who—up until a few days ago—hadn't even known shifters existed much less understood the burden of being an alpha.

He'd always assumed that when he mated, it would be with a woman who comprehended the nuances of being a shifter. Who knew the complicated dance of being his Maxima. He'd assumed that she'd be a fierce grizzly fighter who could go toe-to-toe with any bear in his clan. In truth, he'd thought often of Tonya, but the only thing he liked about her was her grizzly. The woman left him cold. Becca, on the other hand, was all woman, and that seemed to suit his man and his bear just fine.

Go figure.

He was still mulling over the strange twists of fate when she returned and looked at the bed. Thankfully, he'd already rearranged the blankets to hide his erection. He turned to her as casually as possible, making sure his eyes were half lidded, as if he weren't painfully awake.

“You should try to get more rest,” he said.

“Don't you want your bed to yourself?” She glanced at the door. “I could take the couch.”

“You'll sleep here,” he said firmly. Then he started to sit up. “I'll go.”

“No! No, I won't throw you out of your own bed.”

He flashed her a slow smile. “Guess we'll just have to share.”

She looked at him a long moment, her thoughts unreadable. “Is that what you want?”

“More than you can possibly imagine.” Well, that was a bit more honest than he'd intended, but it worked. Her lips curved into a beautiful smile and she climbed back in the bed.

He held out his arm to her, and she set her hand on his chest. Tiny palm, slender fingers. It burned straight through his shirt like a brand.

“You sure I'm not too heavy?”

“You do know I'm a grizzly bear, right? Three of you wouldn't be too heavy.”

She chuckled, a low sound that had his dick leaping toward her. “Good to know.”

He wanted to offer her food. He wanted to provide for her in the most basic way, but he didn't want to disrupt the way she settled back into bed. She crawled up into the open space between his chest and his arm. She sank slowly into the mattress, tucking her hand beneath his chin as she snuggled her hips against his. She accidentally bumped his dick, and his breath caught on a gasp. He held himself still by an act of will, but, damn, his lust ratcheted up another hundred percent.

Her scent perfumed the air. It saturated his clothing and made his head dizzy with want. But he kept himself frozen. He didn't want to frighten her.

Meanwhile, her hand stretched open, flattening against his chest. God, could she hear how his heart thundered for her? Did she know how much he wanted to—

“Carl?”

“Umm?”

“It's a weird situation, isn't it? Between us, I mean.”

Understatement, much? “It's only weird if you want it to be. I just want to be here with you. No strings attached.”

She nodded, a shift of her face against his ribs. Her hand drifted over his left nipple, and one of her fingers moved, sending lightning straight down to his groin. She was killing him, but he'd be damned if he moved one tiny inch. And if he was really, really lucky, she'd do it again.

“So do bears have strong sexual needs? Or are you the buttoned-down type?”

If he'd been drinking, he would have choked. As it was, his breath caught and his head nearly exploded from the sudden triple beat of his heart. “Um, it depends on the bear, I suppose. But usually the drive is pretty strong. Especially in spring.”

She was silent a moment, and—praise God—she moved her fingers again. Twice more across his nipple, and his hips jerked involuntarily. It was a tiny movement, but undeniable.

“It's spring now,” she said softly, and he scented arousal. But was it his or hers? Then she pushed up from the bed, her hand exerting a soft pressure as she levered up to look at him. “So do you think you could have sex with me?”

Yes! Yes!
Yesyesyesyesyesyes!

“Um, I think you can already tell that answer,” he said. He'd thought the way she'd curled against his groin had been accidental. Apparently not, and the joy of that blew his mind. But he didn't move yet. He couldn't. He would leap on her like an animal.

Meanwhile, she smiled, the expression both shy and filled with mischief. “It's no strings, I promise. I just…” Her expression faltered. “I want to be touched.” She reached up to stroke his jaw, brushing fire across his beard-roughened skin. “I want you to touch me.”

He lost his control then. It snapped like a rubber band pulled too tight. His arm tightened where it was wrapped around her, hauling her up and over until she lay across his torso. Her mouth opened on a gasp of surprise, but he caught it with his own. Then he invaded the dark, wet recess with his tongue, and he plundered her like the animal he was.

She murmured a sound of appreciation, deep in her chest. She began dueling with him, tongue to tongue. And she wiggled against him, making his cock buck for attention.

He wanted to ask her if she was sure. He wanted to be gentlemanly and hold back. This was a stressful situation. She wasn't thinking straight. But he couldn't make himself stop.

So he grabbed her hips, stilling her as he rocked his dick against her core. Even through his jeans, it felt heavenly. And her eyes widened as she took in the size and girth of him.

“Be sure,” he rasped, praying that he could stop if she asked it of him.

She smiled and ground her pelvis down on him. His eyes rolled back in pleasure. “I am sure,” she said. Then she supported herself on one hand as she pulled something out of the front pocket of her shirt. A roll of five condoms unfurled from her hand. “I found these in your bathroom.”

“Did you check the expiration date?” God knew it had been a while since he'd needed one of those.

She nodded. “We're okay, if you're okay.”

“Baby,” he growled. “We're headed for something exponentially better than just okay.”

Becca felt laughter bubble out of her as the world suddenly flipped upside down. He'd done nothing more than roll them over, dropping her on her back in the middle of the bed with him on top. His groin settled perfectly between her thighs and she had a sense of forces working beyond her control. Ever since he'd walked into her bakery, she'd been riding a roller coaster of worry, joy, terror, and peace. But the moments with Carl had been beacons of sanity even when she felt upside down and inside out.

She'd tried to hold herself together, but as of last night, she'd given up. The most she could do was ride the experience, and if that meant grabbing onto the distraction that was Carl, then who was going to judge her? Not him, certainly. And not herself. Nobody else mattered.

So she kissed him. She let him unbutton her shirt. And she reveled in the glorious magic that was his tongue on her breasts. His hand shaping her and twisting the nipple. The suction and nip of his teeth on the other side. And the keening hunger he built inside her.

Tension coiled toward release. He built it inside her. He took all the emotions that were tearing her apart and shaped them into sensuous overload. Hands and teeth on her breasts. Glorious pressure at her groin. He thrust at her and she ground back at him. They both had on jeans, but that just added to the experience, especially as he circled his hips, driving the thick seams of her clothes into areas that made her gasp.

He lowered himself onto her body, his mouth leaving her breast to press kisses into her belly. She burrowed her fingers in his lush hair while her eyes shut to better experience every touch of his massive body. And when his hands framed her hips, slowly stroking across the top ridge of her jeans, she tugged his face up.

“Carl?”

He lifted up enough to look at her, his green eyes dark and gloriously intense. “Yes?”

“Can we go fast the first time?”

His nostrils flared and his hands tightened on her hips. “Baby, we can do it anyway you want.”

She reached down and unfastened her jeans. There wasn't a lot of room until he lifted off her, shedding his clothing in record time. Then he stood there in the dawn's light, large and golden, his penis thick and dark red as it jutted between his thighs. She'd thought he'd be grizzly furry, but he was no more so than a normal man. Enough for her to trace the inverted triangle on his chest, flowing down to the steady point of his erection. And that aimed straight at her.

He held still, watching her as she looked at him. Uncertainty flashed in his eyes, and she gave him a slow smile. “I haven't changed my mind.”

He released a breath and grinned as he moved forward.

“You're just…um…largely proportioned.”

He paused with one knee on the bed. “Is that a problem?”

“It's a compliment.”

“Good. Because I know we'll fit.”

“Pretty sure of that, are you?” She liked that he was so confident. And to be fair, so far he'd been an exceptional lover.

He leaned over her, caging her with both arms and legs. She'd kicked off the last of her clothes, and lay back on her elbows, fully exposed to him. But she wasn't self-conscious about her nudity. The way he looked at her banished any doubts. Instead, she let her head drop back as he gazed down at her.

“You're beautiful,” he said.

She flashed him a grin as she drew a hand up his flank. “You're very virile.”

His brows arched at that and she chuckled.

“I didn't think you'd like me calling you beautiful. Besides, you're too manly to be called handsome.”

He nodded. “I'll take that.” Then he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her lips. He went slow at first, which was frustrating. He teased the edges of her lips, he nipped at her mouth, and when she opened completely to him, he barely pushed his tongue forward at all. This wasn't fast. And worse, just when she was about to grab him and force him to go harder with her, he abruptly straightened away.

“What— Oh.”

He grabbed a condom off the bed, ripping it open with quick movements.

“Do you need help?” she asked.

“Not this time, baby.” He flashed her a grin. “Let's save that for round three.”

Goodness, that was ambitious. But she simply tossed her hair back and gave him a wicked grin. “If you want to wait that long. I decorate cakes, you know. I excel at all sorts of hand techniques.”

He growled in hunger and she laughed. The moment his penis was covered, he stepped between her knees. Then he leaned forward, both his hands stroking quickly up the inside of her thighs, separating her legs even as he began to finger her.

Oh! Oh yes!

His fingers were thick and nimble. He pushed into her wet opening, spreading the moisture everywhere, and he did it with hard, circular strokes that had her arching into his pressure. Her arms gave out and she dropped back onto the bed.

“Now. Oh God, now,” she pleaded.

He leaned forward. There was a moment's delay while she stretched for him, lifting her knees and arms as she tried to grab hold of whatever part of him was nearest. It was all within reach. Every glorious muscle, every hard bone, and most certainly his jutting organ.