The Arrangement (28 page)
Reed set his wineglass down untouched. “And I never intended to fall in love either. My relationship with Mason ruined me for a while, but I think it actually made me stronger, giving me the impetus to regroup and get to know who I am. I’ve learned to live my joy, not waste time in trying to define it or figure it out.”
“I can tell you who you are. You’re a part of us now, part of Jacks and me—our family. It took almost losing you to finally open my eyes and see that this isolated bubble I’d secluded myself in with Jacks and me on the inside and everyone else on the outside couldn’t work anymore.”
“I’m your family?”
“How can you doubt it? When I had no ability to love myself, you loved me.”
Joy, like the morning, returned fresh and new with hope at its side. It was time he learned to live his own joy, with Reed by his side.
At that moment Jacks ran over, his normally pale cheeks flushed, eyes sparkling with a light and life Carter for years had yearned to see and never thought would happen.
“Look what I made.”
He gingerly set a large wet plate down in front of Carter. A painting of a house, depicting their limestone, dominated the center of the plate. On one side were two figures waving goodbye to a smaller figure on the other.
“That’s great, Jacks. I like how you drew Helen, you, and me.”
“That’s not Helen.” He bit his lip and gave Reed a shy smile while delight burst like fireworks through Carter. “It’s Reed. Since you said you liked him I wanted to like him too and thought it might make him feel good.”
Watching Reed give Jacks a careful hug, this time Carter could make no excuse for the tears streaking his cheeks.
“I think it does; what do you say, Reed?”
Reed swiped at his own tears, his smile rivaling any Carter had seen before.
“I’ve never felt better.”
“Is Reed gonna stay for breakfast tomorrow?” Jacks’s hopeful gaze flitted between him and Reed, who sat frozen in his chair. “Helen showed me how to make French toast.”
“Um…Reed?”
His smile and nod were all the answer Jacks needed.
“Can I paint a mug for Helen to drink her tea in?” To Carter’s shock, Jacks kissed him on the cheek. “I promised to make her something.”
“Of course.”
Jacks hugged him around the neck, and then Carter watched as he tore off back to his seat. The dizzying ups and downs in their life could have gone so terribly wrong at so many junctures, but after years of disappointment, fear, and solitude, Carter had what he never thought he would. A home and a family.
“Hey.”
He shook himself out of his internal musing to see Reed smiling at him from across the table.
“Hey yourself.”
“That was pretty special.”
“You’re pretty special. And now Jacks sees it as well.” He picked up his glass. “So do you really like French toast?”
Reed clinked his glass to his. “I do now. I can’t believe he asked me to stay.”
If Carter had his way, he’d never let Reed go.
‡
One year later
“W
alter, how’re those
burgers coming?”
Carter pushed open the sliding door to the back yard and handed Reed’s father a beer.
“All done. I was just getting ready to plate them and bring everything to the table.”
Jacks came running from inside the house. “I can help.” He took the plate and brought it to the redwood table where Helen, Ariel, Dr. Childs, (who insisted they call her Elizabeth) and Vernon sat, enjoying the late May sunshine.
Today was Reed’s graduation party; he’d graduated with honors and had accepted a job as manager with one of Carter’s clients who’d recently opened a boutique hotel in SoHo. It wasn’t your usual job for a graduate, but Carter had called in a favor. He didn’t want Reed to work nights and spend less time with him and Jacks.
“You’ve raised a great boy there, Carter. You should be proud of yourself.”
“I only got him the help he needed.” He took a long drink from his bottle of beer and watched Jacks throw a ball for the puppy they’d adopted last week. The two, boy and puppy, then ran into the house, and Carter could only shake his head and laugh. Since they’d brought the dog home, he and Jacks had been inseparable, and Carter discovered the puppy had set up his sleeping residence at the foot of Jacks’s bed.
“Don’t be ridiculous. I know what you did; Reed told me everything. Many parents don’t do for their children what you did for your brother. I know it’s been a long, hard road.”
It had been. And Carter knew he was lucky as hell to have the resources needed for Jacks’s continuing care. There was no magic wand to be waved which could make his problems disappear. He continued to see the psychiatrist for his anxiety and his physician remained concerned about his growth. But Carter didn’t care how tall or short Jack was as long as he remained happy. Seeing him video chatting with his friends on the computer, his face alive with laughter, or snuggled in bed with his puppy gave Carter the peace he never thought he’d have. He planned to set up a foundation to help parents with expenses for children with learning disabilities and mental health issues. Every child should have the chance Jacks had to grow and thrive.
“Carter.”
He spun around to see Reed motioning to him from inside the house.
“Can you come inside? I need to ask you something.”
He set his bottle down on the deck railing and walked inside.
“What’s up?”
To Carter’s surprise, Reed backed him up against the wall and kissed him, lightly at first, then with a deepening hunger. Carter slid his arms around Reed’s neck, his hands sliding into the silk of Reed’s hair. He molded his body to fit Reed’s, and his tongue swept lazily through Reed’s mouth, then took control to nibble along Reed’s jawline and lick a path down the straining cords of his throat. The friction of Reed’s erection pressing against Carter’s through their jeans drove him wild, his nerve ends sparking a fire through his blood. Carter twisted them around so that he now pinned Reed to the wall.
Reed’s head fell back. “Fuck, Carter. Don’t start what you can’t finish.”
With a groan of annoyance, Carter continued to kiss Reed for several more minutes before pulling away, but only far enough to lean his forehead against Reed’s. Even in their bedroom, he found himself unabashedly spooning against Reed. On one of the occasions he joined Reed at his sessions with Elizabeth, he’d jokingly mentioned it, but she took it seriously and explained it could be his fear of abandonment that made him want to hold on to Reed. Maybe. It made sense to him. All Carter knew was that for the first time in his life he slept through the night, and if holding on to Reed was the cause, so be it.
The day after Reed officially moved in, he and Elizabeth sat Reed down and lectured him about the seriousness of him taking his medication properly. With Elizabeth’s approval, he used a secret weapon against Reed—Jacks.
“How would you feel if you had a bad reaction from not taking the meds and now that you’re living with us, Jacks found out? What’s stopping him from following your lead and refusing to take his meds, using you as an example? Would you want that?”
Reed paled and Carter knew he’d made his point. Several moments passed and Carter empathized with Reed’s internal struggle, but knew if he didn’t conquer his demons now, the road ahead would be almost impossible to travel.
“I—you’re right,” Reed said, chewing his lip and gazing down at his lap. “I’d rather be an example of how to live with my anxiety and ADHD than wind up hospitalized from taking too many chances. After hearing Jacks’s story I realize he needs to see a positive role model with mental illness.” Sounding more determined than Carter had ever heard, Reed looked directly at him with a fiery glint in his eyes. “I’m ready to take on that position.”
Carter had never been prouder of anyone, watching Reed finally come to terms with his issues and put his fears to rest.
Jacks suffered no ill effects from Reed living with them either. Before Reed officially moved in, Carter made sure they met with Jacks’s psychiatrist and teachers at school. Helen, of course, loved Reed to death. Reed had come home with him that first night after the painting class and never left. The plate Jacks had painted sat with pride in the center of the dining room table, a memento of that special night and their new family.
“You started it. We can run upstairs for a quickie. No one would know.” He grinned, and Reed rolled his eyes, sidestepping his grasp.
“No, wait, come on. I said I wanted to ask you something.”
“What?”
“Well, we’ve been living together for almost a year now, right?”
Reed sounded nervous, and Carter couldn’t understand why.
“Yeah, why? You’re bored already? Want your own place back?” Carter laughed, but when Reed didn’t join him and began instead to play with his hair and twist the hanging strings of his leather bracelet, it was Carter’s turn to feel anxious. “Reed, what is it? You look sick.”
Jacks ran into the room, the dog yapping at his heels.
“Did you?”
At Reed’s shake of his head, Jacks spun around and sped out.
“Did you what?” He grabbed Reed by the arm and yanked him close. “What’s going on? Jacks knows and I don’t?”
Pale and sweating, Reed placed a slightly trembling hand on his shoulder and forced a smile. “I don’t want my own place back. I’m in love with you. More than I thought I could ever be. More than I ever thought I’d deserve.”
“That’s—”
Reed interrupted him. “Let me finish. I’m hoping that you want this to be forever. Because I do. I know I’ve found my forever with you, and I want to make it official.”
“Offi…” His voice trailed off when Reed took out a ring and laid it flat on his palm. Carter began to shake, and from the way the ring shifted in Reed’s palm, he knew Reed’s nerves hovered at the breaking point.
“Will you marry me, Carter? I’ve been thinking about this for weeks, and I wanted to plan something more elaborate, but then I assumed—”
“Shh.” Carter placed his fingers over Reed’s mouth, and Reed stopped talking but not shaking. “This arrangement of ours has certainly come full circle from what we intended, hasn’t it? What started out as something fun and light turned into a lifelong commitment. One neither one of us could walk away from.”
“So you’re saying yes?”
Carter laughed. “Of course I will.”
“Yay.” Jacks ran into the kitchen again. “I told him you’d say yes.”
Carter took Jacks in his arms and held him close. “Would you like that? Is that what you want?”
Suddenly still and solemn, Jacks nodded. “Then everyone will stay. And no one has to ever go away again.”
He’d never cried so much as he had since he met Reed. But then again, he’d never had anything worth crying over.
“When I walked into the bar that night, I never expected to find my life. But that’s what taking a chance with you did for me. You gave me a life I’d dreamed about as a child, then dismissed as impossible. Because of you, I became a better man and a better brother. Now you give me the chance to be a husband.”
“My husband.” Reed smiled.
“Yours.”
Reed slipped the ring on his finger, and the heavy weight surprised yet comforted him. It felt completely normal…right. Like something he’d been waiting all his life to bear.
He held out his hands, one to Jacks and the other to Reed.
“Let’s go tell the others. They’ll want to know don’t you think?”
Reed leaned over and kissed him soundly, the taste of his love and longing lingering on Carter’s lips.
“They’ve been waiting a long time.”
They all had. Holding Reed’s hand, Carter let Jacks lead the way outside. From the smile on his face, their news wouldn’t be a secret much longer.
It was time to make this a permanent arrangement.
The End
Felice Stevens has always been a romantic at heart. She believes that while life is tough, there is always a happy ending just around the corner. She started reading traditional historical romances when she was a teenager, then life and law school got in the way. It wasn’t until she picked up a copy of Bertrice Small and became swept away to Queen Elizabeth’s court that her interest in romance novels became renewed.
But somewhere along the way, her tastes shifted. While she still enjoys a juicy Historical romance, she began experimenting with newer, more cutting edge genres and discovered the world of Male/Male romance. And once she picked up her first, she became so enamored of the authors, the character-driven stories and the overwhelming emotion of the books, she knew she wanted to write her own.
Felice lives in New York City with her husband and two children and hopefully soon a cat of her own. Her day begins with a lot of caffeine and ends with a glass or two of red wine. She practices law but daydreams of a time when she can sit by a beach somewhere and write beautiful stories of men falling in love. Although there is bound to be angst along the way, a Happily Ever After is always guaranteed.
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