The Actor (12 page)

She sighed and
wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “I forgive you.”

The juice
looked good. He reached for the glass and gulped it down.

“Damn, I should
just put my mouth under the garden hose.”

It was a lame
joke, but she smiled. At least she didn’t hate him.

“Did I break
anything?”

“You didn’t
break anything, but you were pretty impossible.”

“I bet.”

“We need to
talk about something. Do you want some more juice first?”

Talk? Crap.
What did I do?

Thinking back
was too difficult, just living in the moment and sitting up seemed to take more
out of him than he had.

I need to
lie down or I’ll throw up.

More juice sounded
pretty good, but he shook his head anyway, trying to ignore how the movement
made him sicker.

“Just tell me.”

If she was
leaving, he’d rather know.

Laura’s words
surprised him, as did her calm tone of voice.

“I don’t mind
all that much that you drink sometimes. I mean, I don’t love it, but you’re not
that bad of a drunk. You don’t get nasty or violent or anything. Yesterday, I
expected you to wander off with some of the beauties, but you remembered you
were there with me, and you stayed with me. I really appreciate that.”

I want to
bury my face against her breasts. They look so soft and cushiony and putting my
head down and closing my eyes would be good. Oh, she stopped talking. What was
that again? I think she said nice things about me.

He made an
effort to answer coherently.

“There aren’t
any other women for me now. I’m a dunce and I know I’m going to find a way to
screw this up, but I really do love you.”

She trailed her
fingers through his hair, and even that soft touch hurt.

“I love you
too. But you need to stay off the drugs.”

He rubbed his
temples with one hand, holding her tight with the other arm.

I don’t
remember shit.

“I don’t know
what your poison of choice is, and I don’t think I want to know. I can’t
imagine how difficult it must be
not
to do it, but you have to...”

“I know.”

It wasn’t a
good answer, but the best he could come up with.

“If you can’t,
I’ll have to leave you.”

“I know.”

The words were
even more insufficient this time around, but he didn’t have any others. Laura
pressed her lips against the side of his head, and his arms became much too
empty when she slipped off his lap.

She brought him
some more juice and a bottle with aspirin. He shook a few of them out in his
palm and squinted to keep them in focus.

Would taking
five be bad? Who cares, me worrying about aspirin is a joke anyway.

“I think Imma
have to go lay down babe. Would you keep me company?”

“Okay.”

Feeling her
body pressed against his side and her head resting on his shoulder reminded him
of heaven. He’d do anything to keep her, and she probably knew.

“Did I get into
any fights?”

She made a
snorting sound, close to a chuckle.

What’s so
funny?

“Bill did, on
your behalf. I almost kicked Joel myself to keep him away from you.”

Joel, the
little twit. We were leaving and I had to let the beer out. If I hadn’t gone
back we would have been okay.

The previous
night was coming back in bits and pieces.

“Oh my God, did
we do it in the closet?”

“Yes.”

I’m a
pathetic excuse for a human being.

He turned his
head enough to be able to look at her.

“You can’t have
wanted that. Why didn’t you tell me to go to hell?”

Laura sighed
and patted his chest.

“You know, I
was grateful you returned to me. I imagined you walking off with one busty
blonde on each side, it might not be fair, but it’s what I thought would
happen. I’d rather have you doing it with me any time than with someone else.”

“It’s not
unfair, it used to happen all the time, and I’d wake up wondering where I was.”

Things were
different now.

“Did you have
any
fun?”

“I had a great
time, up until you met Joel. You almost made it.”

“Almost. I’m an
ass.”

“Not when
you’re sober. You’re wonderful when you’re sober.”

Laura kept her
eyes on Marc for a few days, but he showed no signs of falling off the wagon.

She wanted to
talk to him about it, but was afraid to. Maybe he would do great until she
reminded him. Bringing it up might ruin everything.

A courier
delivered a thick script for him.

“Aah, the
pilot. You have to read with me, sweetheart.”

I have to
what?

“Look here. I’m
Evan, so you’ll be James. That’s your first line there.”

She felt really
dumb when they started, but he charmed her and acted the scenes out. Once she
got used to it, she had the time of her life.

When it was
time for his first day of filming, he left when it was still dark outside. She
woke from him kissing her cheek.

“Have a good
day, beautiful.”

She moseyed out
of bed, had breakfast, and roamed around the house.

Strange how
nothing seems any fun on my own. It has to be at least noon by now. Maybe he’ll
be home soon.

Looking at her
cell phone, it claimed it was nine thirty.

Still
morning? Are you kidding?

Unfortunately,
the kitchen clock was in agreement. She needed to find something to do.

Turning the
computer on alleviated boredom for a bit. It was red and pretty. She hadn’t
known laptops came in color nowadays.

Checking her
Facebook, Twitter, and e-mail kept her occupied for fifteen minutes. Reading
some news and blogs took another fifteen.

Great. Now
what do I do? I never told him how much I enjoy the computer. Can I text him?
No, they might be filming. Can’t have a buzzing, beeping phone interrupting. He
would have thought of that, of course, but I should be able to go more than a
few hours without him.

It was just
past ten, well late enough to go to the store. She had pretty much adopted the red
jeep, and wanted to get a little dragon or something to hang from the rearview
mirror, to make it feel
hers.
Maybe some blank CDs too, fix something to
play on the road. The other vehicles intimidated her, but the Jeep was nice.

Stretching the
shopping tour out with coffee and searching for groceries, she managed to keep
herself occupied until noon.

Marc called
when she returned to the car.

“Hey beautiful,
how are you?”

“I’m missing
you, of course. How’s your day going?”

“Oh, it’s
great. I’ve been bombed on the sets for so long I forgot how much fun this
could be. Hey, would you do me a favor?”

He rattled off
a list of strange items and she counted them off on her fingers.

“No problem.”

“I’ve gotta go.
See you tonight.”

“Marc, wait. I
never told you how much I love the computer. I love the computer.”

He laughed
softly.

“I love you,
silly girl.”

Oh snap, I
should have asked when he thinks he’ll be home. Tonight sounds late.

Up until that
moment she hadn’t been worried. Now her imagination painted out all sorts of
disasters. Who knew what temptations might ambush him.

The rest of the
day went by even slower. She didn’t even have to clean; their housekeeper did
everything. She needed to find a hobby.

Evening fell
and there was no sign of Marc. Could she call him?

Showing I
don’t trust him won’t make anything better. Am I going to worry like this for
the rest of my life?

It was late by
the time she heard the front door open. 

“Marc?”

No one
answered, and she tucked her head into the hallway just to check it really was
him. The corridor was empty.

She heard him
clear his throat in the direction of the kitchen, but when she looked, she
jumped and yelped. He towered over her, looking bigger than ever, dressed in a
long robe with his face filled with authentic scars and bruises. 

“Boo.”

“Aaah, are you
trying to give me a heart attack?”

She couldn’t
keep it up; she laughed, and he grinned.

It doesn’t
happen often, but I am speechless.

“Nice eyebrows,
handsome.”

They were
striped and much less eye-catching than the long ponytail, or the all too
real-looking scar that stretched over half his face, but commenting on those
things seemed too evident.

Marc chuckled
and held his arms out.

“Come fair
maiden, the forces of good have battled all day, and this warrior requires the
solace of his beloved’s arms.”

She snuggled
close, and the wide sleeves of his robe made a cocoon around her.

“I was going to
pick up food for my beautiful princess, but I didn’t want to scare the nice
young man at the pizzeria.”

“You don’t look
like a person who would eat pizza. You look like someone who would slay poor
defenseless animals in the forest with a sword so big it defies reality. Like
Vengar.”

He laughed.

“Well, the
costume comes with a sword, but it’s made of rubber, so I’m not sure I can use
it to provide for us.”

She stood on
her toes and pressed her lips against his, thoroughly enjoying the kiss and his
strong arms holding her.

“This is
strange. I mean, it’s you, but I almost feel like I’m cheating.”

He smiled
enigmatically and glanced into her eyes.

“I can come
home as a different man every day if you want.”

“That’s fine,
as long as you return to yourself afterwards. So, how do you look under this
robe?”

*****

With Marc gone
from early morning to late evening every day, Laura was bored beyond belief.
After the first couple of days passed without disasters she settled down enough
to be able to enjoy a book.

How do other
people cope with stuff like this? Maybe I should get a dog? Take up charity
work?

In the evenings,
Marc was exhausted, and she filled with energy from doing nothing. She sat on
his lap and pretended to be interested in the news, even though she’d seen them
at least ten times already. For the feeling of his arm around her waist, she’d
watch them a thousand times.

“I need a job.”

He stopped
playing with her hair.

“Why? You know
we have money, right?”

Well,
he
did, and it was sweet of him to share with her. No debate there.

“Yes, I want
for nothing. I’m just a little bored when you’re away.”

“Find a hobby.
You could write, or paint, or design stuff.”

I wouldn’t
know where to start with either of those things.

He sounded so
excited it would be a shame to tell him she lacked talent.

“I was thinking
more along the lines of 7-11.”

Marc stared
with unveiled surprise.

“No offense to
the people working there, but you don’t
have
to do it for the money. Is
it
really
what you want to do with your life?”

“No.”

Not having to
work for survival was new to her, and she had no idea what she might enjoy
doing.
He
loved his job, and she sometimes envied his enthusiasm.

Marc flashed a
dazzling smile.

“You could be
my assistant. That’d be so great. You’d keep my scripts in order, bring coffee
and stuff, and be with me on the set all the time. We could sneak into my dressing
room and have sex.”

“Don’t you
think we’d get tired of each other if I came with you to work every day?”

It’s so
sweet of you to suggest it, but if I do a thing like that it’d be for the wrong
reasons.

“Maybe. I guess
you get enough of me anyway.”

He didn’t sound
convinced.

“Not at all,
but I don’t want you to tire of me.”

He brushed his
fingers over her cheek.

“I’d really
like to have you there. Maybe you can come with me some day, just to keep me
company?”

“I would love
to.”

His face brightened,
and she decided to tell him at least a part of the truth.

“I haven’t
wanted to ask if I could come. I mean, if I’m everywhere you might get a Laura
overdose and not want me anymore.”

“You’re so
silly. Tomorrow isn’t a good day, we’re just shooting boring stuff, but
Thursday will be all action. I have one scene where I’m talking to myself in my
head, and there’s this big sword fight. With myself and a green screen.”

“I look forward
to it.”

Marc sat quiet
and she thought he watched TV until he ran a finger over her shoulder.

“You’re bored
and you don’t know what you want to do. You could start school or something.”

School? Are
you high? I’m not nine.

He must have
seen the disbelief on her face.

“I mean a
college, sweetheart. Lots of people go to college, you can even do it online.
You’re so smart I bet you could get a Masters degree in no time, in anything
you wanted. Or be a doctor. Hey, if you study psychology, you can help me with
my messed up head.”

There was no
way not to laugh when he made a funny grimace and spun a finger against his
temple.

“That’s a good
idea.”

Maybe not
psychology per se, but school. I’m good at math, maybe I could be an engineer
or something. Or an architect. Drawing buildings could be cool.

“If you were to
study online you could come with me if I have to go film somewhere else.”

That could
solve a lot of problems. Maybe I could even find a line of work I could do on
the road…

Marc kept his
eyes fixed on her and smiled.

“See, I have my
bright moments. Find whatever program you want and we’ll make it happen.
Lawrence will help you with anything you need.”

With a solution
in sight she relaxed, and was completely unprepared when he pushed her off his
lap. She had to put her feet on the floor not to fall. Even then, she didn’t
expect him to sweep her up in his arms and carry her into the back of the
house.

“Where are we
going?”

Taking Thomas’s
advice, she built a library, a guest room, and a small space for herself. The
children’s rooms were newly painted, but still empty. As far as she knew, he
never went there.

He stopped in
his daughter’s old room. It was large and empty with a wall of windows facing
the yard.

“This room
could be wonderful. Make a space to work in. I don’t know what you want to do,
and I understand why you picked a closet for your stuff instead of here, but
I’d much rather you used it.”

“But…”

She still hung
in his arms like a little girl.

“They’ll never
come back and you are here. Make it yours.”

Glancing into
his eyes, she understood. He wouldn’t care if she painted the walls purple and
built a roller coaster, as long as it chased the ghosts away.

She had been
too shy to take up space, but he kept inviting her to a permanent spot in his
life, and she needed to take it.

Neither he nor
the house belonged to Anne anymore. They were hers.

*****

Thursday
morning, Laura woke from Marc stroking her hair.

“Wake up baby
doll, it’s morning.”

“No way. It’s
dark.”

He laughed and
she rubbed her eyes.

“Why are you all
sweaty?”

“I’ve been
working out, silly.”

Seriously?
It’s six in the morning.

“How early do
you get up?”

“Just after
five.”

“Every day?
Don’t you sleep? I thought I was sleeping in your arms right now.”

No wonder he
dozes off on the sofa.

“We’ve gotta
leave for the studio soon, come join me in the shower.”

He looked
hopeful, but the words made no sense to her.

“What?”

Marc smiled and
poked her.

“Shower, work.”

Is that
today? Today is Thursday?

He pulled the
sheets off and scooped her up in his arms.

“You look
wonderful. I want you so much.”

Really? I
don’t feel wonderful. I bet I have mascara under my eyes, and I haven’t brushed
my teeth yet, because it’s in the middle of the night…

Her mind didn’t
get any further; Marc put her down just outside the huge shower, tearing his
workout clothes off before inching her flimsy nightgown over her head. A second
later, he turned the water on and pushed her in.

Oh, that is a
gorgeous man body.

He grinned like
a contented cat, put his hands on her hips, and tugged her close.

“Did I mention
that I want you very much?”

She didn’t
think
she wanted to have sex, she was barely awake, but with his lips so close to
hers and with little drips of water gleaming on his skin, her body turned out
to be much more awake than her brain. All of a sudden, early mornings seemed
much more appealing.

Once out on the
road, she squirmed.

“Are you sure
this is a good idea? I don’t want to be in your way.”

“I’m sure. Don’t
worry.”

He stopped at a
drive through to order breakfast, and bent over to kiss her cheek.

“It’s so nice to
have you here. I should have asked you earlier.”

When they got
their coffee and bagels, Laura cupped her hands around the mug.

He is so
handsome I sometimes think my heart will stop. Is that normal?

Marc pulled off
the road and into a wide driveway. It didn’t look glamorous at all; it looked
like an industrial park. He seemed filled with purpose, and she trailed after
him with her head spinning, clutching her coffee mug. Marc munched his bagel,
but she was much too excited to eat.

A part of me always
thought actors don’t really work. Maybe they do.

“Wow. Big
houses.”

“They’re
soundstages. You’ll see soon”