The Accidental Bride (31 page)

Shay sucked her breath. “Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

Shay let out a whoop and hugged Abigail. “Congratulations! Oh, I can't believe this.”

“Wade and Maddy are totally stoked. And I'm just—well, an emotional wreck.”

Abigail let out a tearful laugh.

“I know the feeling.” She'd teared up more times in the last week than she had in ten years.

Abigail smiled through her tears. “I guess we're in this together, friend.”

“I guess we are,” Shay said.

Except Abigail's baby had a daddy. Shay returned her friend's smile, pretending that the tears sliding down her own face were happy ones.

36

S
hay heard the door slam from the patio where she'd dragged the browning Christmas tree. She dropped her load and entered the house, rubbing her hands and feeling the sticky tar of tree sap. Her stomach let out a loud rumble. She was hungry all the time, yet it seemed all she did was eat.

“Olivia?”

It was her daughter's first day back to school after Christmas break, but judging from the banging she heard from Olivia's bedroom, it hadn't gone well.

Shay tapped on the closed door. “Olivia?”

The sound of footsteps on the hardwood floor ceased.
“What?”

That didn't sound like her daughter at all. Shay eased the door open.

Olivia stood at the foot of her bed, her chest heaving. Pink splotched her cheeks, and Shay didn't think it was from the cold walk up the drive.

“What did Katy say now?”

Olivia crossed her arms and pressed her lips tight. But the actions weren't enough to stop the inevitable tears. They welled up, thick and heavy, then flowed down Olivia's face. She swiped them away.

“Nothing.”
Olivia turned toward her window and looked out at the white landscape.

Shay walked toward the window and put her arm around Olivia's stiff shoulder. “Come on, now. What is it?”

Olivia looked cute as a bug in a new sweater, and her cut still looked nice, though she was overdue for a trim. What could Katy possibly find wrong now?

“Why did Dad leave?”

The question, so out of the blue, startled Shay. “What?”

“Why'd he leave us? It was my fault, wasn't it? And Travis too! They both left because of me!”

“What? Honey, what are you talking about?”

“Katy said I've had two dads, and they both left because I'm a pain in the butt.”

Shay pressed her lips together, then reached for her phone. “That's it. I'm calling her mom.”

Olivia grabbed her arm. “No, don't! That'll only make it worse.” Tears filled her eyes again. “It's true, isn't it? They left because of me!” Olivia turned into Shay and sobbed.

Shay embraced her daughter. “No, hon, that's not true. Nothing could be further from the truth. You're a wonderful girl, the daughter of my dreams.”

“Then why'd they leave?” Olivia's words were muffled.

Shay drew in a deep breath and let it out. “Marriage is complicated, munchkin. Your dad and I—we just weren't a good match. He loved you very much, though. Didn't he call you every week after he left? He missed you. He would've come back to see you if he were still alive.”

Olivia shuddered in her arms, and Shay tightened her grip.

“Travis loved you too, and his leaving had nothing to do with you. It was my fault, remember?” She knew she risked Olivia's wrath by saying it, but it was better than her daughter blaming herself.

Olivia sniffled. The tears hadn't let up. Shay wanted to make everything better, but what could she do? This wasn't something she could fix with a shopping trip or an appointment at the Hair Barn. This was something Olivia had to believe.

She remembered Travis's reservation when she'd solved Olivia's problem by buying her a new wardrobe. What had he said?
“You don't
want her thinking her worth comes from clothes. Or that those girls' opinions
really matter.”

But that's exactly what Shay had taught her, wasn't it? Not only by her reactions to the teasing, but by how Shay was handling her own problems. By the way she avoided anything that might cause gossip, by the way she reacted when she'd sent the rumor mill into action, by the way she'd left church and hidden in the ladies' room when she'd felt the judgment of her neighbors.

Oh man, she'd really blown this. Had passed on her own issues to her daughter.

She pulled Olivia from the hug and dried her cheeks. “We need to talk, hon. I'm afraid I haven't done such a great job.”

Olivia sniffled and frowned. “Not true, Mom.”

“Come here.” Shay tugged her toward the bed, and they sank onto the edge.
Where to start?

“Listen, this is something I struggle with. We care when people say things and do things that hurt our feelings. That's totally natural. But I think I did you a disservice when I reacted to Katy's teasing the way I did. I shouldn't have rushed out to fix the things she teased you about.”

“But I like the new clothes and haircut. You said we could afford them.”

“We could. It's not that. And it's not that there's anything wrong with having those things. I just think it's a mistake to arrange our lives around other people's opinions. It's something I'm still learning myself. Abigail reminded me of a scripture recently—” She took Olivia's white Bible from her nightstand. “Here, I'll show you.”

She flipped it open to Galatians. “Here it is. Read this one.” She pointed to chapter one, verse ten.

Olivia wiped her eyes clear. “‘For am I now trying to win the favor of people, or God? Or am I striving to please people?'”

“That verse really helps me put things in perspective. Whenever I start worrying what people think, I say this to myself. It reminds me to focus on God's opinions, not other people's.”

“I get it. It's still hard, though.”

“It's absolutely hard. Especially at your age. But it's something to hang on to and remind yourself of.” She gave Olivia a sideways hug. “And, hon, you can be sure that God thinks you're awfully special, just like I do.”

Olivia leaned into her.

“Your dad thought you were special too, and so did Travis. So don't let Katy O'Neil convince you otherwise.”

“I'll try.”

“Are you sure you don't want me to call her mom? Maybe it'll make her stop.”

“She'll just tease me about it. Or her friends will do it for her. I need to handle this myself, Mom.”

Shay studied her daughter, then gave her a final squeeze. “All right. But if you change your mind, let me know, okay?”

Olivia nodded.

“Now go get cleaned up and come help me with supper, okay?”

Olivia frowned. “It's only three forty-five.”

Shay shrugged. “What can I say? Your brother or sister is hungry again.”

That got a little smile from her daughter. It was a start.

37

T
ravis stood under the spray of birdseed, watching his buddy Seth and his new bride dart across the church's lawn toward the stallion that waited, saddled and ready.

Seth gave Hanna a long kiss before lifting her onto the horse and mounting behind her. One final wave, and the pair rode off into the sunset—literally. They'd only met three months earlier at the rodeo finals, but the two had been inseparable ever since.

Travis loosened his tie and slipped away from the crowd, walking toward the back lot where he'd parked his truck. His boss had given him leave for the evening, but he felt like working anyway. He had a little time before he lost daylight, and the temperature was mild enough. At least Texas didn't have the cold springs Montana had. It was a small consolation.

He pulled off his tie as he walked, unbuttoning the stiff dress shirt. Standing by his friend through the ceremony had been torture. All he could think about was the last ceremony he'd been in—his own.

He could still see Shay's eyes, spitting fire at him while Pastor Blevins droned on about the sanctity of marriage. He smiled a little, thinking of it. He'd thought she was going to bite him when he kissed her. But no. His lips seemed to tame the wild beast. At least for a few seconds. A few very pleasurable seconds.

The smile fell from his lips.

I miss her, God
.
I can't believe how much
.

He missed the way she looked at him with wonder sometimes, like she couldn't believe he was there. He missed the way she smelled like sunshine and citrus, the way her eyes danced when she smiled, the way her hair looked all rumpled in the morning. Shoot, he even missed the way she put ketchup on every blame thing she ate.

He missed Olivia too, and wondered if she'd finished the book they'd been reading. If she'd built any snowmen without him. He wouldn't see her when her braces were removed, wouldn't see how pretty she looked when she stopped hiding her smile.

Travis slid into his cab and started the vehicle. He was so tired of this ache in his gut. When would it go away? He pounded the steering wheel.

The night before, in a moment of weakness, he'd started a letter to Shay. This morning he'd read it, then wadded it up and tossed it into the nearest garbage can. Shay didn't want to hear that. She wouldn't believe him. Didn't trust him. When would he get that through his thick skull?

The phone vibrated in his dress pants pocket. He didn't feel like talking to anyone. But it might be Seth. Maybe he'd left something at the church, forgotten to pay the pianist or save the wedding cake top. He was the best man, still on duty, he supposed.

He checked the screen. Miss Lucy? Travis started to return the phone to his pocket, then stopped. What if something was wrong with Shay? Maybe she'd dropped a salt block on her other foot.

“Hi, Miss Lucy.”

“Hello, young man. Am I interrupting anything?”

“Not at all. Just leaving my friend's wedding. Headed home now.” Travis put the truck in gear. “Everything okay?”

“Oh, just fine, dear. How's your job?”

“All right. I'm staying busy enough.” Working someone else's land wasn't the same as having your own. Not even close.

“Dylan said you were looking for a place of your own. Any luck finding a spread?”

Travis pulled onto the street. “Not yet. I've looked at a few, but nothing that's calling my name.” He'd started wondering if anything would appeal to him.

“Heard about one you might be interested in.”

He sighed. “Not buying my parents' place, Miss Lucy.”

“Oh, I wasn't talking about that. Shay's ranch is up for sale.”

Travis gripped the steering wheel, frowning. “Shay's place?”

“As of last month.”

Shay would never willingly sell her place. She'd go to any lengths to keep it. Shoot, hadn't she let him move in, agreed to live as husband and wife for five months just to keep it?

“Why?” Travis said. He'd gotten her through a rough spot, had even paid up her mortgage a few months ahead.

“I don't know the particulars, dear. Just saw the sign one day and asked Abigail about it.”

“What'd she say? Is Shay moving away?” Travis asked, then scolded himself for caring.

“Said she was moving into town. Word has it John Oakley put in a lowball offer.”

Travis pressed his lips together. Didn't the man make enough money at his bank? He had to take advantage of a single mom too? “She accept?”

“Abigail said she countered high. Bet he'll come back just as low as before.”

What if she didn't have a choice? How were they going to make ends meet without the ranch? Those baskets she made were great extra income, but that wouldn't support them.

“Why don't you just come back, Travis?”

His gut tightened. He missed Shay so much he ached for her. He wondered if Miss Lucy felt like that when she'd lost her husband. He'd thought it might be easier here, hundreds of miles away. But it wasn't. Who was he kidding?

“I feel just awful about my part in all this,” Miss Lucy said. “And call me crazy, but I still think it was all part of God's plan. At least think about coming back.”

“Sure.” Travis wanted off the phone. Talking about Shay wasn't helping. Now he only felt worked up and frustrated.

“That didn't sound very sincere, young man.”

“Sorry, ma'am.”

“You'll think about it, then?”

“I will.”

They talked a few minutes more, then said their good-byes.

Why was Shay selling her ranch? He couldn't come up with any reason other than she had to. Things were tough right now. It was hard for ranchers to make ends meet, much less a single mom trying to run her own spread.