Tender Vow (23 page)

“Honey, you obviously needed it. I mean, when was the last time you actually slept in?”

“Maybe in high school?” Rachel said with a giggle.

“My point, exactly. You and the kids ought to spend the night more often just so you can catch up on sleep from time to time.”

“Yeah, you should,” Tanna chimed in. “It’s fun waking up to these little goobers.”

“I’ll second that,” her father said, coming into the kitchen to refill his coffee cup, yesterday’s newspaper folded under his arm.

“Don’t tempt me with such an offer, you guys. I’m liable to take you up on it.”

“Well, you should. Single parenting is one of the hardest jobs in the world,” her mother said, pushing her chair back and rising to gather up what few dishes remained on the table. Rachel stood up to help her. “You sit back down, young lady. This is Christmas, and I intend to spend the morning spoiling you.”

Ah
, she thought as she eased herself back into her seat, I
could get used to this
.

At noon, they left for the Evanses’ home, Rachel’s parents toting all the gifts and food items in their own car, Tanna riding with the kids and her. No sooner did she start her van than Johnny fell asleep, thumb in mouth, the other hand clinging to his favorite blanket. Rounding the turn to her in-laws’ home, she spotted Jason’s black Jeep. On cue, her heart skipped a beat.

As if he’d been watching for them, Jason came bounding down the porch steps as soon as the two cars pulled into the drive. “Merry Christmas, everyone!” he shouted as they all started climbing out of the vehicles. Clad in blue jeans and a collarless grey pullover sweater with three buttons down the front, he looked the picture of masculinity, his broad shoulders nearly bursting out of the cotton fabric of his shirt. His dark hair looked recently trimmed, despite the few stubborn strands falling over his forehead and shielding one thick eyebrow.

“Merry Christmas!” Rachel called in return, feeling oddly shy.
He is my brother-in-law, nothing more
, she reminded herself as she opened the rear door, where Johnny slept on, oblivious.

“Mind if I get him?” Jason asked in a low voice.

“Be my guest,” she said.

Their sides brushed as he slipped past her to release Johnny from his car seat.

“I’ll get Meaggie,” offered Tanna.

“Hey, Tanna! Merry Christmas!” Jason said.

“Merry Christmas to you, too!”

“Uncle Jay, it’s Christmas!” Meagan bellowed as Tanna hefted her out of her seat.

“It is? I wonder if Santa brought you anything?”

“He did! I saw him at the mall, and he promised he would.”

And so it went, everyone shouting greetings and carrying in children, dishes, packages, and diaper bags. As Rachel walked across the threshold and into the warmth of her in-laws’ home, Jason turned and met her eyes for the first time, her sleeping son in his arms, and in their dark depths, she saw something like a promise.

***

As usual, Jason had to force his eyes to settle on someone or something other than Rachel, lest people grow suspicious of his mounting feelings for her. Man, he could feast his eyes on her all day if he didn’t think folks would notice. Her soft, blonde hair fell in waves around her slender neck, and he wanted to take a handful and give it a playful tug—anything to get her attention.

But she skillfully avoided looking his way most of the afternoon, tending to her children instead. She helped them at the dinner table; later, while they opened their gifts, she insisted that Meagan stop to thank each person for her present despite her impatience to move on to the next package. He found it enchanting to watch how she mothered them. One thing Rachel had was grit, and the more he knew her, the more it showed.

He’d been watching his dad throughout the day. While he’d put on a smile most of the time and engaged in conversation, even echoing Mitch’s appreciative expression for the new putters Jason had given them, he still showed a reserved side that put Jason somewhat on edge. He longed to know what went on inside his head and why he was never able to reach his dad’s core. The suspicion that his dad blamed him for John’s death haunted him continually, and Christmas Day was no exception. Some days, he wanted to shake the man, but today wouldn’t do.

“I like the gloves and scarf a lot,” Jason whispered in Rachel’s ear. He’d finally caught her standing alone in the living room poring over some family photos on the fireplace mantel, and he had the courage to sneak up behind her. She gave a little jolt. “Didn’t mean to scare you,” he added.

“That’s okay.” She turned and gave him a tentative smile. “I’m glad you like them. I didn’t know if…you know.”

“They’re perfect. The gloves fit me—like a glove.”

She giggled. “You’re silly. Oh, and I love the lotion and candle—and the beautiful Bible. You bought more for me than you should have.”

She would really think that if she knew what was in the back of his sock drawer!

“Thanks for what you wrote in the Bible, too.”

It had taken him more time to figure out what to write on the dedication page of that Bible than it had to make all his Christmas purchases. He’d finally written something as simple as: “May the words in this book be a light to your path. Love, Jay.” It was the “Love, Jay” part he’d pondered for minutes on end, wondering how she’d construe it. He took the word seriously and actually had wanted to write, “I love you. Jay.” Of course, he’d ended up taking the safe, common-sense route.

“You’re welcome.” Her eyes went back to the photos, and he found himself moving closer to catch her scent. He allowed himself to study the photos he hadn’t perused in several months—some shots of John and him as young boys, several of them with their parents, and others of the family after Rachel had joined it. The most recent picture of the whole family had been taken last Thanksgiving, just two days before their fateful trip. Rachel was big with baby, and Meagan clung to her daddy’s leg. Jason noticed that John’s arm was not around Rachel, as it usually was in photos of them, and he wondered if the rift between them had been to blame. It sobered him to realize he’d inadvertently played a role in that argument.

“I don’t like that picture,” Rachel said of the very photo he’d been studying. “I wish Mom would take it down.”

“It was the last one of all of us, honey,” he said, touching her elbow, the endearment slipping out almost automatically. “Besides, Mom wouldn’t understand your asking her to do that. Someday you’ll come to appreciate the photo.”

“I hope so.” She swallowed and shook her head. “There should be one of John and me with both the kids.”

His heart ached for her. “I know.” It was all he could think to say. The wounds were still so fresh.

“Sometimes it feels like only yesterday,” she said, absently fingering the edge of her sweater sleeve.

“I know what you mean.”

“I hate that I can’t always bring his face into view in my head. Sometimes I actually have to look at his picture before it comes to me.”

“That’s normal. I have to do the same.”

He reached an arm up and drew her close. Blessedly, she didn’t object; rather, she leaned into his strength. “You need to think about all the positive, good things you guys shared, you know that? And stop dwelling on those last few days.”

“I know you’re right, but it’s hard. My mind keeps going back to our argument.”

“John wouldn’t want that, honey. I guarantee he’s not giving it any thought. You two had a great marriage, Rach—a strong, loving, rock-solid marriage. Let your heart and mind dwell on that.”

She raised her face so that their eyes met, their breaths mingled. Had they not been discussing her marriage, the moment might have been considered intimate. “You’re right, of course.”

They ceased talking and turned to look out the window, his arm still around her, their backs to the entryway. Snowflakes fell like giant petals, floating, drifting downward, lending tranquil comfort to the moment.

“Rachel, you know I want to be more to you than just a friend,” Jason ventured to say. Now wasn’t the time, of course, but out it came, anyway. To his great surprise, she didn’t jump away as from a feral fox.

“And you know that cannot be, Jay,” she said calmly. “We’ve been over this already.”

He brought his chin to rest atop her head. “Do you know you’re on my mind around the clock?”

“Well, you’ll have to chase me back out, then.”

“Impossible.”

“Start dating again.”

“Also out of the question.” He kept his chin on her head, nearly eating up her delicious scent. She breathed out, long and slow. “You’re not planning to see Luigi again, are you?”

“I don’t know.”

“That wasn’t the answer I wanted to hear, Rach. If you’re going to see him, you may as well see me.”

“Maybe I don’t want to,” she said stiffly, then gave a playful chuckle. The tiniest hint of flirtation floated through the air.

In the living room, coverage of a football game blared on the TV. Meagan’s shrill screams filled the house as she played chase with Tanna. Jason assumed that the moms were still yakking in the kitchen, if the clatter of pots and pans and the occasional outburst of female laughter were any indication. He was so glad his mom had a friend in Arlene Roberts, as she had a true gift for loving people and helping them forget about their woes. As for the men, the last he knew, his dad had enticed Mitch to check out his new snowblower.

Finding Rachel impossible to resist, he took her by the shoulders and pivoted her to face him, capturing her almond-shaped blue eyes with his. “I don’t believe that,” he whispered. “I kissed you, remember? And you kissed me back.”

“Don’t remind me.” She pressed her rosy lips together in a stubborn pout, making him want to laugh.

“You’re worried what people will think, aren’t you?”

She shrugged. “Not especially.”

He bent closer. “Fibber.”

“Oh, stop it.”

“What happens between us in the future is strictly between you, me, and God, Rach. No one else.”

“Yes, but what if—?”

“What’s between you and God?” Jason’s dad stood in the doorway, his face twisted with palpable anger, his arms folded tightly across his chest.

Rachel leaped back, startled, and Jason would have been lying to say the intrusion hadn’t caught him off guard, too. He dropped his hands to his sides like a boy caught trying to sneak a cookie before supper and tried to think of a proper response.

“Well?” his dad roared. “What have you got to say for yourselves? And, so help me, I want the truth!”

Dad, calm down, would you? I don’t know what you think is happening, but Rachel and I were having a private discussion.”

“There’ll be no private anythings going on in my home, do you hear?”

The women came rushing into the room, as did Mitch, Tanna, and even Meagan. Johnny’s whereabouts should have been of greater concern to Rachel, but, right now, preserving her dignity seemed paramount.

The insinuation behind his remark sickened her, and she felt beads of sweat pop out on her forehead like dewdrops on a windowpane.

“Absolutely nothing is going on, Dad,” Jason said through gritted teeth, his face about as red as a beet.

“You kids can’t fool me,” Tom said, seething. “Don’t you have a conscience? Your brother hasn’t been dead much longer than a year, and already you’re trying to steal his wife.”

Gasps arose all around the room. “Tom!” Donna spat with a shudder.

“That’s insane,” Jay said, his body shaking. “It’s a little hard to steal a dead man’s wife.”

“Why, you….” Tom started coming at Jason, but Rachel’s dad stepped between them.

“Stop it, both of you,” he said, firmly yet not loudly. “You need to calm down.”

Donna started whimpering. “This is Christmas. I—I wanted us to—have a good day.” Rachel’s mom quickly stepped up and wrapped a comforting arm around her, even as her eyes slanted with worry.

“Mom.” Jason pinched the bridge of his nose and breathed loudly “I’m so sorry, but there are obviously things Dad needs to get off his chest. Maybe you should go in the other room.”

Pulling back her narrow shoulders, she set her gaze on Tom. “I’m not going anywhere. If something needs saying, then say it, Thomas Evans. But I won’t have harsh words spoken here.” She looked back at Jason to add, “Not from either of you.” It was about the sternest Rachel had ever seen Donna with her husband and son.

“Tanna, please take Meagan out of the room,” Rachel’s mom said quietly. Rachel felt like a fool for not having been the one to suggest it.

Tom looked at Donna, his mouth set in a straight line. “Your son has some explaining to do, Mother.”

“What are you talking about?” Jason asked, his brow furrowed with confusion. “You come barging in on Rachel and me while we’re having a conversation, demand to know what we’re talking about, make insinuating remarks that we’re being less than decent in your house, accuse me of stealing my brother’s wife, and then you want me to do the explaining? I think you have this backwards.”

Tom squinted with displeasure as his eyes roved from Jason to Rachel, and his pointed glare made a shiver run the length of her body. That’s when the realization hit that her father-in-law resented her as much as he did his living son. She felt the urge to retch but held herself together by biting down on her lip and taking several bitter-tasting swallows.

“You betrayed your brother,” Tom said, his tone low and piercingly cold.

It seemed like even the walls let out a gasp. “How did I do that?” Jason asked, his tenor surprisingly controlled.

“John told me everything.”

Jason shook his head. “I’m not following you. I have no idea what kind of misconceptions John filled your head with, Dad, but I can tell you one thing—there was nothing, absolutely nothing, going on between Rachel and me. There never was.”

Tom’s jaw jutted out and his chest swelled. “So, you deny kissing his wife?”

“Thomas Evans, that’s enough of this nonsense. Stop it this instant,” Donna said before wilting into a nearby chair.

“Listen, Tom. This has gone far enough,” Rachel’s dad said. Mitch Roberts never had been one for confrontations, but Rachel swore he looked near to busting through his skin. She just couldn’t tell with whom he was angriest: Tom, Jason, or, worse, her.