Tell Me No Secrets (13 page)

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Authors: Michelle-Nikki

BOOK: Tell Me No Secrets
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“Hi,” Chyanne spoke when she stood beside me at the table.
“Hello, young lady,” Mr. Williams replied.
“I didn't know Aric had company or I wouldn't have come, but I just needed to drop something off to him.”
I had no idea why she felt the need to be explaining herself. That annoyed me, but before I could speak up Stephanie blurted out, “You could have called.”
She'd taken up a defensive stance next to her father. Her arms were folded and I knew it still grated her nerves that Chyanne had gotten the best of her in their fight. All I could think about, however, was the envelope in Chyanne's hand and what the contents inside would mean for me.
“I did call. In fact, I've called several times.”
I finally looked up to see that Chyanne and Stephanie were in a stare down and when Mrs. Williams came to stand beside her daughter and husband, I figured we needed to get whatever Chyanne had to say to me out of the way.
“What's up Chyanne,” Gabe spoke from behind her.
She turned and a slow easy smile brightened her face at the sight of Gabe. My nerves got jittery and for some reason the shit annoyed me too.
“Hi, Gabe. How are you?”
“Couldn't be better,” he replied as he casually stood upright and gave her a once over.
“What do you want?” I asked bringing her attention back to me.
She looked offended as she dropped the envelope on the table before me. It seemed as if all eyes were on me except for Stephanie's. Her eyes were on the manila envelope Chyanne had just dropped on the table.
“What is that?” I asked although I knew what it was.
“Test results.”
“What do they say?”
“I don't know. I didn't look.”
I could tell she was nervous by the way she was looking at me. The whole room was silent and although I wished I could have read the results in private, I knew to ask anyone in the room other than Gabe to leave would be a problem. I looked across the table and Stephanie already had tears in her eyes. When she noticed I was looking at her she shook her head and wiped the tears away.
“This is such bullshit,” she said in a low tone but loud enough to be heard by us all.
“It'll all work itself out,” her mother said to her while her hand moved up and down Stephanie's back trying to relax her.
Chyanne kept her eyes on me when she spoke. “I can leave.”
“You shouldn't have even come! Disrespectful bitch,” Stephanie shouted at her.
“Stephanie calm down,” her father said to her.
“No! No, I shouldn't have to calm down. This is my damn house and I shouldn't have to be disrespected like this by my husband's whore.”
She was irate and her fists were balled at her side. I didn't know what it felt like to be in her shoes, but I can't say that I was happy about putting her in this position. In the same breath, the need to know if Chyanne was carrying my child was eating away at me. I'd never even known I wanted to be a father as bad as I did until that envelope was in front of me.
“The only reason I'm not saying anything to you right now is because I'm assuming these are your parents and I'm trying to remain as respectful as I can in this situation,” Chyanne stated.
“I think you passed the grounds of respect when you slept with a married man,” Mrs. Williams told Chyanne.
“Then you both will have to take that up with Aric since I had no idea he was married until his wife attacked me.”
In that moment I realized I had to take control of the situation before it got out of hand. I pulled myself away from my thoughts long enough to take a hold of Chyanne's wrist to keep her from leaving. I wanted her to be right there when I opened the envelope. Mr. Williams leaned forward and cleared his throat as I quickly opened the envelope and removed its contents. I read through all of the rhetoric and got to the part that I needed to see.
“. . . all of the genetic loci has been tested. The mother's sample has been included in the DNA testing and the percentage probability that the tested father is 99.999% of a match. The tested father cannot be excluded as the tested child's biological father . . .”
I didn't know what I felt at that moment as a sudden wave of anxiety overtook me. I kept reading that same passage over and over just so I could make sure I was reading it correctly. I looked over at Chyanne and her look said ‘I told you so'. I wanted to reach out and hug her but knew that would cause a reaction that I wouldn't want. Laying the papers back on the table I allowed Mr. Williams to pick them up and read it for himself. I looked at the woman who had been my wife for fifteen years and I didn't have to open my mouth and tell her what she already knew. Her pride wouldn't allow her to stay in the same room with the embarrassment, hurt, and anger that I could see on her face. So when she stormed off up the stairs, I knew that she had gotten the answer that she was hoping not to receive. Her mother went after her but not before she told me exactly what a low down dirty bastard she thought I was.
Chyanne
I was nervous, pacing back and forth waiting for Aric to arrive. Finding out he was indeed the father of the child I was carrying was like another heavy burden had been lifted off of me. To say that it hadn't been mind boggling to be in the room with his wife and her parents when he was reading the results would be a lie. I had never been as nervous, scared, and out of place as I was in that moment. I had to stand there and be called all kinds of female dogs and whores and I really had no real way to defend myself. How could I be mad at a woman who had every right to be upset that her husband had cheated on her and got another woman pregnant? How could I be mad at her for feeling the way I probably would have felt regardless of the fact that I didn't know Aric was married? Even still, when I tried to talk to let her know that I did feel some empathy for what she was going through, she still attacked me and my character at every chance she got.
Who knows exactly what she was feeling standing there watching her husband read the results that said he'd fathered my child?
All in all, that didn't stop my love for Aric. It didn't stop me from being anxious to see him and it didn't stop me from missing him. Call me what you want, but being in love with a married man wasn't easy for me, being in love with a man like Aric wasn't easy period. So I guess you could say that I was my mother all over again. All night in my mind, I wracked my brain trying to figure out how I had gotten myself into the mess I was in. Was April correct? Did I fall for the first man who showed a genuine interest in me? Aric had swooped in and swept me completely off my feet and even though, after a while, I knew there was another woman I kept on loving him . . . hoping that one day there would be only me. So I guess I really was one of those stupid women my mother cursed under her breath.
I almost jumped out of my skin when Aric walked through my front door. I hadn't even realized I'd still been standing there until I looked into his face. It was hard to read what he was thinking. Only hours before I'd left his home when his wife and her mother came back in the basement and confronted me. I had to give it to Stephanie she always said what she felt. So when she came storming back down the stairs and got in my face, I was kind of expecting it. Luckily there were three men in the room who were able to diffuse the situation before it got worse. For the most part, I let Stephanie do the talking and the name calling. All I wanted to do was let Aric know that he was my child's father and there was pretty much nothing any of us could do about that.
“Hey,” I said breathlessly as he pulled the keys from the door knob and closed the door behind him.
I had no idea what to expect from him. I was just happy to see him just as I was when seeing him earlier.
“Hey, yourself,” he greeted before removing his leather jacket and discarding it on my loveseat. “How're you feeling?”
“I don't know. I guess it depends on how you're feeling,” I answered nervously as I stuck my hand in the back pocket of my jeans.
“How should I be feeling?”
I shrugged. “I don't know, you tell me. I know I probably caused a lot of trouble earlier...”
“No more than would have been caused anyway,” he explained as we continued to stare at one another.
It was like that for a while. In that moment, I could tell that things had changed for Aric and me. The fact that I was carrying his baby showed me a softer side of him as we just stood there and stared at one another. He looked from me to my stomach from time to time. You never knew what you would get with Aric. He was very unpredictable. My anxiety intensified as he closed the gap between us.
“So this is my child, huh?” He asked as he reached out to touch my stomach.
I nodded and gave a shy smile. A wave of sudden exhilaration came over me at the feel of his hands on my stomach and when he smiled at me I knew he was happy with the news that he was going to be a father. Moments like that one was when I fell deeper in love with him. I let him unbutton my shirt from the bottom up so he could feel my skin against his hands. Looking at him in that moment showed me a side of him I'd rarely seen . . . the soft, caring, and nurturing side of the man that I'd found myself wanting to be with so badly. In that moment I decided that I would do whatever it took to keep him in my life. Married or not, I needed him. I needed him to help me with his child and I needed him for my sanity.
I don't know how to explain what I felt when he slowly pulled layer after layer of my clothes away and led me to my bedroom. He made love to me that day like we had never done before. Aric was an aggressive lover, but not this time. No. He took his time and placed kisses on every inch of my body, but when he took the time to gently place kisses on my stomach and talk to our child, that's what stood out to me the most. And when he finally connected his body to mine, I knew that he would always have me right where he wanted me.
 
 
It was a little after seven in the evening and Aric was helping me to clean out my spare bedroom since that would be where the baby's domain would be. Although I was happy with him being there and glad that we were getting along, I needed to convince him to give me my job back. Having a job meant having security for my child and that was important to me.
“Can I talk to you for a minute?” I asked him standing in the door way watching him as he moved boxes of stuff around the room.
“Go ahead.”
He stood from the crouching position he was in and looked at me as I walked into the room and sat on a box that was in the far right corner. His hands were dirty and he had worked up a sweat. He wasn't wearing his glasses so at times he narrowed his eyes to get a better look at me.
“I wanted to talk to you about getting my job back. I mean, I have money saved up, but I would feel better knowing I had income coming in with the baby on the way.”
He folded one arm under the other and rubbed his bald head before answering. He shook his head and answered, “No.”
I was shocked. I can't lie. I wasn't expecting him to come right out and say no. “Really? Why?”
“Because it wouldn't be in either of our best interest.”
“What am I supposed to do about a job?”
“Look for another one.”
“In this economy I wouldn't even find a job that would hire me, let alone find one that would hire me while I'm pregnant,” I argued. “Look, I wouldn't even have to work for you. Maybe you could switch assistants with someone else—”
“Hell no,” he fumed. “You coming back to the office would not be good. Too much talking about us is still going on . . .”
“So you're worried about what people will think?”
“No,” he said as he went back to moving boxes around. “I'm worried about how it would look if I was checking on you every hour on the hour. People would know something was going on and it wouldn't be long before they figured out that it's my child you're carrying.”
“So what? I need a job Aric!”
He put the box down that he was holding and looked at me. “Two things; that tone in your voice, get rid of it. This shit isn't easy for me either Chyanne, so stop making it all about you! You know damn well you don't have to worry about money. I can take care of you and my child.”
“This isn't about you taking care of me Aric,” I said as I felt myself get annoyed. “I don't need you to take care of me. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, however; having stable income for my child would make me feel better.”
He exhaled gave me a look that told me I was annoying him. “You're not getting your job back and that's that. Take that however you want it, but I'm not about to have the board breathing down my neck and I'm sure as hell not about to be dealing with my wife . . .”
Before he could finish that last sentence, I got up and stormed out of the room. Nobody asked him about his damned wife.
“Chyanne.”
He called me two more times and I ignored him. Mentioning her the way he did pissed me off. I was angry and angrier than I had been in a long time. I slammed my door in anger and for a quick second forgetting about the man I was dealing with, forgetting that my attitude, tone of voice, and slamming the door was a sure fire way to set him off. He quickly reminded me of just who the hell he was when he shoved my bedroom open so hard that it felt as if the room shook. Infuriation and anger were written all over his face. I quickly sat down on the bed because I didn't know what else to do, but he snatched me up by my wrist and pulled me close to him. He used his free hand to make me look up at him. Although the grip he had on my chin wasn't hard enough to hurt me, it was firm enough to let me know that he meant business.
“Why are you showing your ass right now? You know damn well if I could give you your job back I would. Think about this shit for a second baby . . . would it be worth the headache or the stress it would cause you to have to deal with her? And you know she would make both of our lives a living hell. You want me to lose my job? Huh? You want me to not be able to help you with this baby? Come on baby, work with me. I'm trying to do what's best for everybody, but if you're going to start showing your ass on me then we, you and me, will have a problem. Understand?”
I didn't respond as I looked up into his eyes, but he continued, “I know this isn't going to be easy, but we don't have to make it any harder.”
As he finished he let go of my face and I sat back down on my bed with my arms folded across my chest still upset that he cared more about how his wife would feel than about me being able to take care of his child.
“Look, I'll make a few phone calls and see if I can get you in somewhere else,” he said when he saw I really didn't want to buy what he was selling. “That's the best I can do baby.”
He said that with a take it or leave it attitude before leaving me to my own resources. I stayed in my room away from him and allowed him to finish what he was doing in the room. We didn't say too much to each other unless he asked me if I wanted to keep something or when I took him food and something to drink. Several times his phone rang and each time I knew it was his wife because I could hear him going off on her. I was half asleep, and half watching the Being Human marathon on Syfy channel by the time he finished.
“I guess you've forgotten about this?” He asked me.
I sat up and looked at what he was referring to. When I'd found out he was married and he'd shown up at my house, I was so hurt and angered by the news that I took the ring off and threw it at his face. In his hand he held the ring he'd place on my finger on my birthday and to be honest I had forgotten about it. But, I hadn't forgotten about the events that took place that same day he'd given it to me and a few days after.
I smiled and looked into his smiling face. “Where'd you find it?”
“When I was cleaning the room it tumbled from underneath the door.”
I guess when I threw it and it bounced into the hall it rolled under the door in my spare bedroom.
He chuckled. “That was the first time I'd ever heard you curse. You tossed that shit at my head and called me a lying son of a bitch. Remember that?”
I nodded. “I was mad. I rarely curse, but when I do it's with reason.”
He smiled and nodded before his expression turned serious and he looked at me. “It's a lot of shit I need to apologize to you for, but I have this thing with apologizing for things that I feel won't do you any good to hear. So, will you put this back on your finger for me if I promise that the shit that has gone down with us before won't ever happen again?”
I wanted to let my emotions overtake me because it was rare that I got to see or hear Aric express any emotion to me, but I kept my feelings at bay. I looked into his eyes and wondered just what this moment was going to mean for us. I wanted to hear him say he loved me. I wanted to hear him say he cared for me again. I wanted so much from him that I knew would be impossible to get with him still being married so I took what I could get. That's why I nodded and let him slide the ring back on my finger. I loved this man and the love I had for him would be my undoing if I didn't get control of it and soon.
When he kneeled down to kiss me goodnight, he made it a long passionate kiss that sent me reeling.
“I'll come back in the morning and we can talk about how you want to set up everything in the room. If you want I'll pick up the crib and whatever else you figure you want and need or we could shop for that stuff together. Just let me know what you want to do, alright?
I nodded again feeling overjoyed at the prospect of spending more time with him even if it was only about the baby. When he kissed me again, this time just a passionate peck on the lips, my heart melted and I was putty in his hands all over again.
What the heck are you doing
, I asked myself after he had gone and I'd laid back down on the couch. Are you really about to be the glorified
‘other woman'
?

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