Tamed: A Huntress Spin-off Novel (21 page)

“It’s okay. You’re safe now.”

I took in a breath before I spoke. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I didn’t want to make a mistake.” I pulled away from him. “Ms. Charlotte.”

“I’ll take care of it,” my brother replied. “I already called an ambulance for Dad. Go to Bram Manor for now.”

“No. I have to stay with dad.”

“Paige, have you looked at yourself lately? You look like you haven’t slept in days and you’re pale white. Go get some rest and I’ll call you if something happens.”

I frowned. “Taylor, no.”

“You’ve been through a lot already and we’re going to be at the hospital for a while. Please, just go to Bram Manor. You really need to rest.”

I exhaled. “Fine.” I approached Silas. “I have to go to Bram Manor. Come see me if you can. We have to talk.”

He scowled. “Nothing good ever comes from those words.”

He was right; those four words were the most dreaded, painful words for anyone to hear, because they only brought heartbreak and disappointment.

“I’ll see you later, okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”

I leaned down as he kissed my cheek. Oh no. Eli.

I heard him scoff. “I’m getting tired of this,” he mumbled.

I was hesitant to look at him, but I forced myself to, anyway. He was walking away. My heart soared into my gut, and as I watched him go, I was afraid that he was walking away for good.

Chapter Eighteen

Dark blue painted the sky as the night fell over the outside world while I gazed out of the window from one of the many abandoned rooms throughout the manor. It wasn’t Eli’s room. Though, there was a part of me that was pushing and pulling me to go to him, I stayed where I was, all alone in this chilly, half-empty room, despite the urge.

My head was spinning with endless worries. I was dreading telling Silas that I only wanted to be friends. I was afraid I would lose him, and I cared too much about him for him to just walk out of my life. I sighed. Why did I have to get myself in this mess? I told myself that I didn’t want love. I told Eli that I didn’t want love, yet I fell for them both. It frustrated me that I was the most complicated person on this earth. Eli was hurting because of me. Silas
will
be hurting over me. It had to stop.

A knock at the door thrusted me out of my thoughts as I whipped my head to the direction of the door. “Come in.”

I moved toward the bed, zipping up my black sweater as goosebumps spread over my cold skin. Lucas came in with a white coffee mug in his hand as steam lifted from the drink inside and the smell of coffee spread through the air.

“Eli asked me to make you coffee. He made sure that I knew to put cinnamon in it.”

Hope bloomed within…he wasn’t done yet.

He handed me the cup, and I grabbed my flask from my pocket and poured a little vodka in it. As I poured, Sean instantly invaded my mind and a surge of guilt hit me in the gut. I was letting him down.

Lucas sat down, and as my eyes locked with his worried, disapproving eyes, I immediately looked away.

“Just a little bit for my sanity.”

“The dummy in the facility is supposed to be for your sanity.”

He was right. The only way I was going to heal was if I forced myself to face my demons, and the punching session Eli made me do, did just that. I knew I would have to do it again and again until I was able to move on. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t avoiding it. As much as I needed to unleash those painful memories, I hated the hurt that cut me open and left me bleeding each time. I was used to running from the pain. When, though, would I have the strength to stop running, turn around, and face it? Would I ever? Something had to give.

I took a drink of my coffee, my body filled with relief as it slid down my throat.

“So, did you do the deed yet?”

His brows rose in surprise. “What?”

I bit down on my lip, trying to prevent my smile. I liked making things awkward; their reactions were always priceless.

“You know, did you knock Athena up yet?”

He gasped, then burst into laughter. “Wow, so outspoken. If I did, then she wouldn’t have been out there kicking ass.”

“Well, you better do it fast. You’re looking miserable. Maybe being a helpless human isn’t working out for you.”

“Maybe being a helpless human isn’t working out for you,” he said in a mocking tone.

I gasped and punched him in the arm. “Hey, you’re mocking me!”

“So, did you and Eli do the deed? Or you and Silas?”

My smile slipped as his broadened.

“Oh, sensitive topic. Welp, looks like both of us are in the same miserable boat.”

“He’s starting to hate me, isn’t he?”

“No; he would never hate you. He adores you. He’s just hurt and doesn’t know what to do. You do know Eli sent Violet and Hunter away to find a supposed incubus hunter to save you, right? Apparently, he’s the only one who knows exactly what needs to be done to free you. That sounds a lot like love to me.”

I shook my head. “He wouldn’t have told me that. It would have started an argument. I don’t think Silas is bad.”

He looked down, getting lost in thought as a smile slipped out on his lips. “Wow.”

“What?”

“You just reminded me of Athena and I. Everyone else was against her for loving me. They refused to see what she saw in me.” He sighed. “I’m a little confused. I don’t want to trust him, but I have no reason not to…just do what you feel is right. Everything will work itself out in the end, whichever way you choose, it just may get a little chaotic before you get there.”

I nodded and smiled. I wrapped my arms around him. “You understand.”

“I do, but I’ll only trust him until I see that I can’t anymore. His actions will determine that.”

He stood and walked his way to the door. I then heard him chuckle. “Did I do the deed? This chick.”

I grinned before taking another drink of my coffee, feeling the warmth coat my insides. Everything would be okay…I think. I exhaled and ran my hand through my hair. The worry was driving me crazy. Silas could get angry and not want to see me anymore, and Eli could be so guarded that he refused to let me in. What if the damage was done? I shuddered to think of the worst.

I started to pace the room. Maybe I should go talk to Eli. If we talked, then maybe we could settle our dispute and the hurt that I caused him would go away. I shook my head. Just because he had Lucas make me coffee didn’t mean that he wanted to talk. There was still a possibility, though, that he hadn’t given up on me just yet. I clenched then un-clenched my fists as my hands tingled, urging me to turn the doorknob and go see him, but I wouldn’t. My fear was holding me back. I was afraid of being rejected. No, I couldn’t go see him. If he wanted to see me, he would’ve come in himself.

“Is there a problem, here?”

I jumped at the sound of Silas’ voice. He was standing by the window with his arms folded. I could feel his energy already. Lust poured into the air while I stood there, my eyes seemingly frozen, made me unable to look away as I absorbed all of him. There was an instant ache that numbed all of the worry that I felt, and my raging heart thumped hard against my chest as the heat crept up on my cheeks. It came on so sudden. I wanted him the moment I set my eyes on him. He had total control over me, and because of that, I was in trouble.

He smirked. “It never fails.”

He then dropped his gaze, and I was able to tear my eyes from him. There was an urge to look at him once more, to get lost in his seduction and passion. I couldn’t resist it, so I snuck a peek at him, careful not to reach his eyes. Instead, I admired the way his red and black plaid shirt looked on him. I loved plaid on a guy. He moved to my bed, fixing his black beanie hat as he sat down. I rather wished he wasn’t sitting on my bed right now. I knew exactly what would happen.

“Okay, beautiful, I’m here. Let’s talk.”

I took in a breath.
Relax, don’t do anything stupid. Think about Eli
, I said to myself.

I walked to the bed and sat down. The distance that I intentionally put between us didn’t go unnoticed.

He frowned. “You’re far away…this isn’t a good talk, is it?”

“I was thinking about our situation-”

“You mean how Eli insists on getting in the way,” he spit out bitterly.

“Okay…after talking with Sean, he helped me realize that even though I care for both of you, I actually am in love with only one.”

Irritation burned on his face. “I think I already know, but proceed.”

I was hesitant to say it. I was afraid of his reaction.

“I love Eli.”

His eyes shut and his mouth set in a hard line. “Shocker.”

“I still want you in my life…as a friend.”

The seething red that took over his eyes had my stomach knotting with fear. His eyes turned. The demon was coming. I quickly stood, my eyes finding the door just in case he lost his cool and came after me.

“You’re changing. Stop it or leave.”

He stood, breathing deep through his nose, calming the demon that stirred. “I protected you against Andie. I killed her for you, because I…” He trailed off, shaking his head and exhaling.

“Because what?”

“It doesn’t matter. It never will.” His voice grew louder, angrier, yet I could hear the hurt…the hurt that I was responsible for.

I looked away. I didn’t want to see the damage.

“You felt for me, though. I mean, I thought you did.”

I nodded. “I did, but with Eli, it’s…” I paused. How could I say this without hurting him even more? “I don’t want to live without him.”

“You can live without me.” He nodded, as if he understood completely, but that was not what I meant at all.

“If I wanted you out of my life, I wouldn’t ask for friendship. I don’t want to lose you. It doesn’t make you less important to me just because I’m not in love with you.”

“Friends it is, I guess.” He shook his head.

The sting of my rejection couldn’t go unnoticed. His eyes dropped as he said no more, filling the room with an uncomfortable silence. The hurt on his face had suddenly faded away and his brows furrowed as he got lost in thought. “Can I ask for one thing?”

“Okay.”

“Can I have one last kiss?”

He then met my stare. It was so sudden, the change in his eyes that began to grow as the sorrow and anger was no more. Instead, his eyes burned with desire, sucking me right in. As I got lost in his lustful stare, my mind had been held captive, consumed with nothing but the urge to claim those soft lips of his. I wanted him. I didn’t care about anything else; just him.

“Yeah,” I said, breathless.

I leaned forward, smelling his intoxicating scent. My hands settled on the back of his neck as my lips touched his own, slow and soft at first, but once he got a taste of me, it became more urgent and possessive. He pulled at my waist, thrusting me forward to feel my body on his as the kiss grew into so much more than it was supposed to be. A light dusting of butterflies swirled around my stomach. I followed his lead as he guided me backward to the bed. He pushed me back, and then his clothes came off before he was climbing on top of me. He claimed my lips once more before pulling away, his forehead pressed against my own as he took in a breath.

“If I can’t have you forever, then I’m going to make sure that I have you right now,” he said.

He gripped my shirt, ripping it open before moving down to my sweatpants. I could feel my body heat up with every beat of my pounding heart as the ache within grew. I wrapped my feet around his waist and pulled him down on me, desperate to feel his body touch my own. A cold chill spread throughout my body, and my breath hitched as his hand glided over my skin, making his way up the outer part of my thigh, and traveling up my side before stopping at my chest.

He smiled, watching my reaction to his touch, enjoying the affect he had on me. My fingers ran through his hair, and I pulled him down to meet my lips. And as our lips crashed together, an overwhelming feeling of passion and desire poured into my body. It was as if he unleashed his emotions into me and my thirst to have him intensified. I wanted him so bad that his kiss just wasn’t enough. When his lips broke away from mine, he slowly ran them down my neck before nipping at my skin and placing a kiss at the base of my throat.

My breathing grew heavier, matching his own as we moved against each other. Every movement made my body, sensitive to his touch, tremble as the overpowering feeling of bliss fell over me.

Silas lay beside me and pulled the covers over me. I couldn’t move. My body felt worn out. I felt so weak yet so extremely good. I sighed. My mind was still wrapped up in him. I could feel his eyes on me, but I was too exhausted to move my head to look at him. I wanted sleep. I shut my eyes and began to drift off.

“I won’t be here when you wake up, but I’ll stay for a little while.” His voice, sweet to my ear, sounded so far away, it was like an echo traveling through a tunnel.

It was the last thing I heard before falling into a deep sleep.

****

Pain stabbed through my stomach. It was so excruciating that it took my breath away. Already curled in a ball, I whimpered and pressed my face against my knees, feeling drops of sweat run down my face, tickling my skin. I was so afraid. I didn’t know what was wrong. I’d never felt such unbearable waves of pain ripping through my stomach before, and I felt so incredibly drained to where I could barely lift my limbs to get out of bed. On top of that, nausea hit me a few minutes ago. I was taking in deep breaths to hopefully prevent myself from being sick. My heart sped as I began to panic at one body numbing, heart dropping, thought…What if I was dying? Tears filled my eyes. I feared death. I wasn’t ready, despite how miserable I was.

Silas left while I was still sleeping, so I had no one. I had to get out of bed. If I was going to die, then I wasn’t dying in this cold room all alone. I wanted my comfort. I needed Eli.

It was a struggle to sit up. I fought against my weak body, pushing against its resistance. As I stood, I was immediately knocked in the gut with an excruciating, crippling pain. I whimpered and held my stomach as I quickly grabbed onto the bedside table, needing its support.

I held my breath and fought through the pain as I reached for the sheet on the bed and wrapped it around my naked body. With my body hunched over, it was a slow walk to the door. My legs were shaking and I was afraid that at any moment, I would collapse on the floor and not be able to go any further. I was finally able to make it, though.