Authors: Sheena Wilkinson
Chapter 16
VICKY
Over my own sobs I heard the slam of the front door.
âCome on, let me see.' Mum pulled my hands away from my face. Blood flooded my mouth, hot and metallic and revolting. I dashed to the downstairs loo before I swallowed it.
The sight of the red swirling into the water of the toilet bowl made me retch. I spat again. Not so much blood. I turned on the cold tap and swooshed my mouth with water. It stung but it felt clean.
I stood up and looked into the mirror. Peeled down my bottom lip to see. It looked like nothing much. I thought my tooth must have gone through my lip for sure but there was only a red gash. Blood oozed to the surface but slowly. Mascara ran down my cheeks in dirty streams.
âCalmed down?' Mum's face appeared in the mirror beside mine.
âDid you see what he â?'
âNever mind what he did. I heard what you
said
.' I'd never heard her voice so cold.
âWell, I'm sorry, but he â'
âNo.' She put up her hand. âI don't want to hear. I'm â¦' She seemed to be searching for a bad enough word â â
disgusted
with you. God knows, Vicky, you haven't exactly been welcoming â but that! That's about the worst thing you could have said.'
I stared at her in shock. âHe still shouldn't have hit me. He must think he's a real wee hard man. Hitting girls.' I sniffed and the snot running down the back of my throat made me feel sick again.
âOh, grow up, Vicky! Of
course
he shouldn't have hit you. But I don't blame him.'
I looked down at my white top. It was spattered with red. âLook! I can't go to the party in
this
!'
But Mum wasn't in the doorway any more. I snatched up a facecloth, pressed it to my mouth and followed her into the hall. She snatched up her car keys from the hall stand.
âWhere are you â?'
âTo find Declan, of course!'
âBut the partyâ¦'
She swung round and for a split second I thought
she
was going to hit me. âDo you honestly think I'm taking you to a
party
after that?'
âYou mean I'm grounded?'
She hesitated. âI don't care. Go to the party. Go to your dad's. Go wherever the hell you like. I have more important things to worry about.'
And she slammed the door behind her, just as Declan had done.
I sank down on the stairs and looked at the door. It looked very ⦠shut. Well, that proved it. She'd taken his side against me.
Then a cold feeling crept right over me and I heard my voice again â
No wonder she tried to kill herself
â and the cold melted to burning shame. Did I really say that? Why couldn't I just have lost my temper about the book and left it at that? I'd been in the right about the book. But now my breath shivered in my throat. What sort of creature
was
Nasty Me? Mum had looked at me like she hated me. No, that wasn't it â like she didn't know me. Like I wasn't someone she'd
want
to know.
No way could I go to the party now. Even if I cleaned my cut up and found a different top. But where
could
I go? Mum would be back in no time with Declan. I could phone Dad and ask him to come and get me. But then I'd have to explain. Dad might not be Declan's biggest fan but he'd still be horrified at me. I'd
have
to go to the party. I stood up slowly and peered at the facecloth which was only faintly spotted with blood now.
All my excitement about Niamh's party had evaporated. It was just somewhere to pass the time until midnight when Dad picked me up. I repaired my make-up, changed into a nice but old black top and swung my rucksack over my shoulder.
At the front door I paused. Should I leave Mum a note? Not that she'd be worried about me but I wanted her to know that I was ⦠well, sorry. I explored the inside of my lip. It still felt raw but it was almost welcome, like I deserved to feel it. In the end I sent her a text as I walked down the street, head down against the rain. My hair would get frizzy but it didn't seem as important as usual. I'M SORRY. I'VE GONE TO THE PARTY. I knew it wasn't enough.
It was a bit scary walking in the dark even though Niamh's house was only about a mile away. I ignored an
old man who walked past me with his dog. My heart was thumping against my ribs and when a car slowed down behind me I nearly had a fit. I put my head down and kept on walking.
Then â
âVicky? Are you going to Niamh's? D'you want a lift?'
It was Rory in a small blue car. I looked in. Sitting in the driver's seat, looking too big for the small space, his hands confident on the steering wheel, he looked even more gorgeous than usual. What was it about boys in cars? In the street light I could see that he was wearing a blue shirt which made his eyes look fantastically deep.
âUm, yeah, great, thanks,' I said. God, was I going to be so tongue-tied the whole way to Niamh's?
I could feel my cheeks burning, hotter than my sore mouth as I climbed in. Then I got my rucksack stuck at a weird angle and so I had to kind of rest my feet on it. I was all folded up and my legs looked huge. But I was in a car with Rory!
âSo, um, you're at school with Niamh?' he asked.
âYeah. Her parties are legendary.
Their
parties, I should say â I suppose it's Niall's too. I don't know if I'd like to be a twin and have to share everything, would you?' I was babbling like a moron but he acted like I was a normal person.
âI haven't really thought about it,' he said. âThere's five of us, so I suppose I'm used to sharing.' I remembered seeing his mum in the street with millions of kids. âYou're an only child, is that right?'
âYes â well, no, I suppose. I have a baby sister. Half-sister.'
âOh right.' He sounded a bit embarrassed. âDo you mind?'
If I told him the truth he would think I was selfish and jealous. And I wanted to make a good impression, so I just laughed and said, âWell, she's still at the puking and screaming stage. But I suppose she's quite cute. I like the car. Is it yours?'
âI just bought it.' He sounded really proud. âThat's what all those nights in the Rowan Tree were for. The car wasn't that dear â I mean, it's not exactly new, but the insurance is mad. If you're young and a guy they just assume you're a boy racer.'
That made me think about Declan again. I'd never exactly
liked
thinking about him being at my house, being at the yard, but now it made me feel guilty as well. I sighed. Don't spoil your night, Vicky, I told myself. You're with Rory! OK, not
with
him, but it's better than nothing. Better than you deserve, said a voice in my head â Mum's probably, and I wondered where she was now, if she had found Declan, if he had said sorry, what she had said about me â
âVicky? I asked you if it was this one or the next one?'
âOh, sorry! Um, next left.'
And then we were at Niamh's. I'd been to her house thousands of times and it was just an ordinary semi like ours, but there were fairy lights strung up in all the trees on the drive and it looked really pretty. Walking in with Rory was
amazing
but he got claimed by some rugby players more or less at once, though he did say, âSee you later,' and gave my arm a sort of pat.
âVicky!' Niamh ran up to hug me. You look gorgeous!' she shrieked. âI love your top.'
I looked down and shrugged. âGo and get yourself a drink,' Niamh said. âFliss and Becs aren't here yet.'
I drifted into the kitchen. Niall was serving punch to
some girls but I didn't know anyone else there. I wondered where Rory had gone. I probably wouldn't see him again for the whole evening; I was probably just this boring girl who lived on his street who he'd felt obliged to give a lift to.
My mouth started to throb. I thought people were giving me funny looks. Had my lip swollen up? Was I grotesque? I went to the downstairs loo a couple of times to check that my camouflage make-up was surviving the action.
âHi, Vicky, there you are.' It was Rory. Oh. My. God. Had he been looking for me? If only I hadn't been coming out of the loo when he met me. Had he noticed that it was the second time I'd gone in? Oh God, what if he thought I had the runs or something?
Then Fliss and Becca were there, screaming, âVicky!' like they hadn't just seen me in double Maths five hours ago.
Fliss was all jittery and kept looking round, to see if she could spy Niall, I guessed, and left Becca to do all the talking for once. And Becca, who was usually so shy with boys, was able to talk to Rory totally normally. I suppose because she didn't fancy him, incredible as that was. I wondered if he fancied
her
. Her Diet Coke diet had worked. Every button on her new top was done up except a few to show just the right amount of black bra and the impressive cleavage which Becca was apparently famous for at the boys' grammar. I looked at my own pathetic chest. Would Rory fancy me if I had boobs like Becca's? Somehow, despite Rory being here, I was depressed.
âSo, Rory, have
you
seen Vicky's secret cousin?'
âWhat?'
I sighed. There was no getting away from the subject.
âIt's just my cousin is staying with us while his mum's in hospital,' I muttered.
âShe was keeping him secret till we, like,
forced
her to spill the beans the other day. She won't let us see him. Fliss got this fleeting glance of him and says he's
gorgeous
. So
I
reckon she wants to keep him to herself. You can marry your cousin, can't you? So, Rory, tell all!
Is
he gorgeous?'
âOh,
I
couldn't possibly comment,' said Rory in a Graham Norton voice and we all laughed. Mine was pretty forced.
âYou tried the punch yet?' Fliss asked.
âYeah, let's go and get some,' Rory said. It was sort of an invitation and he must have meant it to
me
because they both had full glasses and he was drinking Coke as he was driving. Yes! I followed him into the kitchen and my depression lifted. âSo, um, yeah,' he said, handing me a glass, âit looks like Mansfield are going to be our biggest rivals this season. They have two Ireland players, never mind a handful of Ulsters. And then you can never really rule out the country schools.' He took a swig of Coke and I watched the lovely smooth skin on his throat. He looked like he had just shaved. My fingers ached to touch his face. Or any part of him.
I fixed my mouth into what I hoped was an interested smile.
Rugby
.
âFor us it's the country schools that have the edge,' I said. âThough actually we came second to Mansfield in the last competition.'
âHockey?'
âNo!' I dismissed boring hockey. âShowjumping.'
â
Showjumping
? That always looks pretty hard to me. On TV, I mean. I've never seen it in real life.' He smiled,
showing straight, strong-looking white teeth. âThat big red wall thing â scary stuff.'
Scary. Good. That meant he would think I was brave.
I shrugged. âI've been doing it for years now.' I didn't add that the puissance wall he was talking about was at least twice as high as any fences Flight and I would ever jump in our lives.
Fliss and Becca drifted in and Fliss raised her eyebrows when she saw us standing together.
âYou should go and watch Vicky jumping some time, Rory,' she said. âIt's
really
good.'
âYeah, we're going next Saturday, aren't we, Vic? You could come with us. It's great craic,' Becca said.
âSince when?' I couldn't help asking, but Fliss shot me a
trust me! I know what I'm doing
! look.
âI have a match in the morning,' Rory began and I rushed in, desperate to make up for my pushy, unsubtle friends.
âYeah, you don't want to go standing around watching showjumping all afternoon in the cold.' I frowned at Fliss and Becca and they gave me identical
what sort of an ungrateful cow are you
? looks.
Rory went on, âNo, I
would
like to come. I was going to say, it's a home game so I'll be back around twelve.'
My stomach started doing a bit of showjumping of its own. What do I
really
look like in my white jodhs? What if I fall off? What if I get three refusals at the first jump?
âOK, we'll sort that out,' said Fliss. âHey, come on, Becs, Niamh is waiting for us.'
They left us alone again and somehow the conversation got easier, and even though people came and went, we kind of stuck together.
âWould you like a lift home?' he asked around eleven. I looked at him in surprise. âI mean â whenever. Not now, obviously.'
âIt's OK, my dad's picking me up.'
âOh right.' He looked at his Coke. âSo â are you always at your dad's at weekends?'
I didn't catch on at first. âPretty much,' I said and then I thought that made me sound like I was never around or playing hard to get or something. âI mean, it's only in Drumbo, not far.'
His face got a bit pink. âI just wondered if you'd like to go out some time?'
âOh!' I hadn't thought it would be so easy! âUm â ye-yes, I would. Thanks.'
âGood. Maybe we can sort it out when I come to see you jumping?'
âUm, yes, that would be great.' OK, that meant we wouldn't even be making a date for another week. Still, things had moved faster tonight than I had ever dared to hope. I just wished I could get rid of that niggling voice that said,
you don't deserve this
.
He didn't kiss me goodnight but he did give my shoulder a sort of squeeze when I was going. I caught sight of myself in the cloakroom mirror as I lifted my rucksack. My mouth looked definitely swollen now. Not hideous, but definitely, well, enhanced, like I'd had collagen injections or something.