Tainted (33 page)

Meeting on the trampoline after all we’d been through was still our favorite place with the exception of the last week’s sleeping arrangements.  I took in his stronger still scent.  Pike’s wasn’t.

“What?”

“You smell...stronger.” 

“I’m not going to want to know if that is a bad thing,” he playfully said with unsure tenses in his voice.

“No, it’s so, well, it’s torture. What it does.”  Oops!  Probably should have kept that to myself.

“Good torture?” he questioned.

“Oh, yes!” a dreamy smile broke out across my face. 

“I’ve slept better than I ever have in my life this past week.  Except when Kinsl—“

“Me too.”  I wanted no mention of his name tonight if I could help it.

“I am okay with you learning to spar.  If you’d let me, I will have something made for you.  You have your bow of course.  But if you’d like some other personal weapons, I would love to do this for you.”  This was him taking Altheon’s advice.  He was still lying away from me and I think we both felt the pain of being too far. 

At mentioning the idea of supporting me in sparring, I wanted to throw myself at him and kiss him all over.  I didn't really want to fight just not look weak. “What caused the change of heart?”

“In truth, Altheon told me it was the right thing to do and that you should be able to defend yourself in case I am not able to.”  He bent his neck side to side as if it was hard to admit this.  “That was the final decision maker.  But I had already decided on my own that I will not hold you back.  If this is what you think you need, then I will support you.”

I didn’t hold back.  I rolled over to him and planted kisses everywhere starting with his eyes, then his nose, cheeks, ears, neck…

He chuckled that great throaty sound he makes at first, then it turned into something more.  He stiffened all over when I moved to his mouth and smoothed my hand the length of his arm and pinned his left hand above his head and then the right as I straddled him staying in the air.  My long hair hung down on either side of my face framing his in front of me.  Holding his hands knowing he had the strength to break free with a single pinch gave me the quick reasoning ability that I contained that much power over him.  He was mine. 

And the fact that he was giving me this power and giving me the sparring and opening up to me more than he ever had in the past few days made me want to scream with the love I was feeling for him right now.  So instead, I growled, hissed, and purred.

His eyes widened and I resisted no more.  I purred aloud with my teeth and meowed in his face.  I licked his cheek and lifted back up above him.  His eyes were silver now.  I was just being silly, but apparently, meowing wasn't his idea is “silly”.

He parted his lips just a little and he stammered, “Grace, be careful what you ask for here.  I told you before my resistance is short lived near you like this.”  The glow was emerging into a full blown fire.

He was warning me.  Oh!  This was classic.  “Yes, Ian I am very aware of what every part of you is telling me right now.  And however much I am so ready to torture you and myself more I will remove myself and force myself away from you.  But know this. I’ve been building as much as you have.  Meow!”

“Grace, you will have to sleep in your room tonight.”

“Understood.”  He flinched at my quick response.  “It’s just…I understand completely.”

“You have become so bold and not like the quiet hidden thoughts Grace I once knew.”

“I don’t have to hide my thoughts from you anymore.  I didn’t know you loved me then.”

He didn’t like the reminder.  He liked the here, the right now, and the future.  “I don’t know how I’m going to get any kind of court duties done after were married.”

“We’ll manage.  That’s why you’re still training new recruits.  They can work overtime on occasion.”

“Can they?  Is that your plan?  Make everyone work while we play.”

My eyes popped open fast at the sound of him saying the word play.  I smiled and shook my head.  Pure thoughts only, missy.  That’s what Danella would say.  “Ian, I think we better find a new topic to discuss before I roll over there and have my way with you.”

“Small threats.”  He was challenging me.

I covered my eyes with my arm folded over them pretending it covered my thoughts.  In theory!  I took a long, deep breath.  “I’m just going to jump right in and ask you something I’ve wanted to ask you.”  Really, it was two thoughts.

He waited, far away from me again. 

“When we...consummate our marriage, will I be marked somehow?”  I felt stupid.  Like I knew he’d laugh at me for comparing our other worldly life to that of real fantasies out there.  He made fun of my books, but Kin hinted this one to be true.  But, he didn’t laugh.  And boy was I glad I asked with the answer I got!

“Yes, others will know you are mine.”

“How?” I so did not want to know, but I had to know now.

He paused as if searching for how to say it. “I understand that with the increased powers comes a magic that identifies you as mine.  I hear the guards speak of this about their mates.  I can identify that another woman is taken by her mate.”

Like he goes around smelling them.  Talk about my hackles being raised.  “What, you know they are.  You go around smelling them?”

He smiled at my jealousy.  “No, Grace.  The Fey men only just know.  We consider it a high honor to mark your mate because we feel whole and at peace.  You do the honor of being marked by your mate.”

“It will honor you to have me parade around and let other men know I am yours.”  Odd to say!  Loved it still.

He raised his chest to the air, “Yes, I will be truly a whole man when that day arrives.  As unmated, I am restless and—“

“Tense!”  I finished not really wanting to know what he might say. 

He smiled.  “Yes, that is one way to phrase it.”  I’d think on this later. I had something else I just had to ask.  “Have there been other girls before me?”

He rubbed his jaw, “You want to know this why?”

“Just do.  Want to know everything about you.  Besides, you know all about me.  And it’s not like it changes us.”

“Fair enough. Yes.”

Uh, oh!  Why did I ask this? “Yes, to what.  Girlfriends, or more than that?”

“No girlfriends.”

God, he was going to make me ask. “Did you kiss them?”

“Yes,” his teeth clenched.

“Anything else.”

He rubbed his chin and didn’t answer.

God, I was so stupid.  “I’m not judging you Ian.  Just asking.”

“I’ve made out with Fey girls my age before you were born, but nothing more.”

Oh, yeah!
  I let out a breath I’d held tight in my chest.  “But the Fey are not like you.”

I didn’t ask why he said this and wasn’t going to.  “Do I know them?”  I had to know this.

He rubbed that chin again.  “Yes.”

Oh, wow.  I stole their man.  “Well, at least they know you’re mine now.”  I’d ask my friends later.  No need to further torture him.  And he knew about only one other date of mine and that didn’t really count.  And lord knows he is dealing with Pike and Kin right now. 

For now, question number three.

“Is my father really a human?”

He seemed relieved to move on.  “Why did you ever come to that conclusion?”  He was really calm.  Too calm.

“Didn’t.  That’s why I’m asking.”  I wanted to see if he knew anything.  This was a small test.  Did his reaching out only include what he wanted to freely give?

“Did Kinsler tell you something?”

“Should he have?”

With a great pause he added, “I know that others know the truth to what you ask, but I am not sure I know the real answer.” 

That was more than I expected and a little too practiced.  Wow!  He was telling.  I would rest it for now.  He’d already come so far in the give and take just in this hour alone.  We were both changing in great ways for each other and the court. 

I was happy.  Happier than I ever have been.

“Grace, can I ask you something?”

“Right after you close your eyes and hold out your hands.”

He looked alarmed.

“No harm.  No foul.  Just do it.”

I shuffled the box aside and pulled out the mp3 player.  I left the cords in the box, but attached the earphones and placed it in the palm of his hand.

I concentrated. 
Open!

Ian smiled and looked down at what he had, “You are giving me a human gift.”

“No!”

He raised the eyebrow. 
Yum!

He raised the other one and then switched again. 
Stop, you!

He leaned into me placing his forehead against mine.  “Thank you.”

“You don’t even know what’s on it.”

He flipped it over and started to survey.  I watched him flip through his favorites. All the songs he loved.  He left his phone behind too.

“Check your playlist.”

He used the left hand thumb to move through the list as I watched over his shoulder.  I saw his eyes light up when he saw the song and the list it was under.  He pressed some buttons.  We heard the sounds and he pulled the earphone up to hold between our two heads.  We leaned in and stayed staring at each other for a second too long before pressing our heads closer to listen.

...I keep this facade

to keep you on your toes

I’ll take a glance while you sleep at night

While I come under your nose

So don’t leave me

Don’t leave, don’t leave me here

I can’t breathe without you

Don’t leave, don’t leave me here

I don’t wanna be without you

I don’t wanna live without you

I don’t wanna breathe without you

You’re my oxygen...

“You kept the New Found Glory song.  What else have you been doing Miss Sneak?”  He dropped the player away from of us.  I giggled way too loudly as he tickled me. 

This man, he is the air I breathe.  I can define it, I think.  It’s like my lungs hold their breath each time we’re apart and deflate when I first see him again.  I believe the term is described as he is my
breath of fresh air
.  I can’t breathe without him.

After a super loud, let all stressful thoughts escape session of tickling, we straightened up and lay down together in the middle.  Out of breath again!

He went back to the before I surprised him with my love gift question.  “Can I ask you something?”

“Always.  Ask me anything.”  I used his usual response. 

“If we could go back and be able to be closer back then, in the human high school years….”  I waited, curious.  He seemed to have stopped like he was searching for the right words.  “And I could have courted you properly, would you gone out with me?”  My red rose suddenly appeared.  I could never predict his moves.

“Ian, isn’t that a crazy question to ask?”  I didn’t want to say stupid.  That wouldn’t be nice.  But isn’t it a given?

“Think about it.  Would you not have hesitated just a little worrying that it would hurt our friendship and risk losing each other?”

I really didn’t want to think about this, but he was a little right.  But still.  “Ian, I think that is a logical thing that everyone may ask themselves for fear of being hurt.  But you never intended for me to be just your friend,” I paused.  “I would have taken the chance for two reasons.  One, I was a loner anyway and could survive either way to have that one chance of being closer to you.  I craved it.  I felt like we were connected internally sometimes.  I could look up and you would be there.  Of course, I know now that you were just probably reading my thoughts, but I still believe there is something more with you and me.  I can give you any analogy you want to describe it.  Like a puzzle that isn’t complete, you find a way to complete me.  You know when to save me, hear me, love me, hold me, at all the right moments.  I feel so desperate when you ignore me.  I don’t like it at all.  I feel like you’re forcing me to stop breathing.”

“Grace, you are my oxygen.  I can’t breathe when you’re away from me,” he closed his eyes.  “The night you were taken.  I stopped breathing.  I downplayed your Romeo character, but he has it correct.  What you are...what you do to me when I can’t have you.  As a man, it’s alarming.  I’ve never let anything get to me like this.  There are times I can’t have you close because you break down my defenses and make me weak because my instincts are to protect you and forget what I came for.  I can’t lose you Grace.  Ever!”

I couldn’t give a comeback.  His analogy was much more, I don’t know.  Well, it stopped my heart.  Best day ever list! He really is the most amazing man.  “We will make a great team.”