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Authors: D. E. Harker

Tableland (11 page)

BOOK: Tableland
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May 6th – Wednesday

Toothache seemed better this morning so I decided to do nothing further about getting in touch with a dentist.

The weather was bright and sunny and, approaching our office buildings, I seemed to see them with new eyes. They were built about forty years ago and look as if they had not had much attention paid to them since then. The paintwork is peeling and blistered. The two prefabricated extensions with the corrugated roofs are an eyesore and the approach leaves a lot to be desired, with the car park full of rubbish. The saw mill next to the office looks as if it is about to fall down.

I had been watching a programme last night, on television, about a timber company in Canada and had taken a keen interest in their streamlined offices, with their drink dispensers, fitted carpets and potted plants, and imagined how it would be to work in a place such as that.

With a little bit of ingenuity, I.C.T. Corp. could be brought up to date and could be a worthy advertisement for the timber trade.

I took an old envelope out of my pocket, after parking the car, and drew a rough sketch of the buildings. Yes – I could see it all. I would remove the prefabricated buildings altogether and build a modern new wing on one side.

The thought of all this absorbed me the whole day as I went about my work and after supper I took a page out of Trev's drawing pad and settled down with sharpened pencil and ruler.

‘What on earth are you doing?' asked Julie.

‘Just redesigning our office block,' I replied. ‘Don't forget, if I'd played my cards right, I could have been an architectural assistant today.'

May 7th – Thursday

Felt quite pleased with last night's efforts and will present them on Monday to coincide with Mr Grappling's visit – after all who remembers better than I how Melhuish ingratiated himself into Bagnall's good books and look where it got him!

Received a second bill from Leftburke's in the post, attached to which was a letter:

Dear Sir,

We refer to our account sent to you on the 29th and require you to pay within the next 14 days. Unless we receive payment from you in this time, we shall place the matter in other hands.

Yours faithfully.

I gave a great deal of thought to this letter and came to the conclusion that Leftburke is threatening to put the law on to me unless I pay the bill.

With much indignation and pent-up fury, I wrote a cheque for the amount and didn't even bother to enclose a letter with it in the envelope.

May 8th – Friday

As previously threatened, Julie has arranged a driving lesson for herself with a certain Pass-Out Driving School, who operate in Weston. I suspect this is Una's doing as she passed her driving test recently. Do not wish to discourage her but am rather dubious about the whole affair. At least she will be learning in the driving school car, which is something to be thankful for. The cost of one hour lesson was not disclosed.

May 9th – Saturday

The house next door – Partridges – has been up for sale for some weeks. In fact, there are two other houses for sale in our road at the moment. At the weekend there is much coming and going in and out of these properties. As a matter of fact, I noticed Julie's mother cast her eye over them on her visit but nothing was said on the subject, and I didn't bring it up. She is, after all, very happily settled where she is, with her friends and her olde tyme dancing.

Today, as I looked out of the window after lunch, I noticed a van load of people drawing up next door. About five children scrambled out with their parents and in two minutes seemed to be everywhere. I could hear the father say, ‘We'll have to build an extra room here and perhaps throw out a little extension there.'

Going into the garden a little later, I distinctly heard the loud voice of his wife saying, ‘There won't be much room in the garage for your motorbikes, Don.'

‘Well, I'll have to get a shed or something, won't I? I can just see myself here on a summer's evening tuning them up.'

This was really depressing. I know all about motorbikes and the infernal noise they make as the chap at the back has one and just hearing him drive off on it nearly deafens me. What to do? Was inclined to start large smelly bonfire or to shout loudly to Julie something like ‘Of course, when we start our pig breeding' but did none of these things and can only hope the house will prove far too small and unsuitable for them. Gave sigh of relief as they piled back into their van and drove off.

May 10th – Sunday

Trev is doing a sponsored walk next week to raise money for a new Boy Scouts' hut. Those taking part have to walk along a disused railway line and have to find people who will sponsor them at so much per mile.

I put my name down at the top of the sheet of paper at l0p a mile and hoped that others would follow suit.

He and I spent the whole afternoon going round the houses nearby and returned home in time for tea tired out.

Our reception had been mixed. An old chap had muttered, ‘What's wrong with the old Scout hut? It was good enough for me.' I hadn't felt sufficiently qualified to answer that.

The worst moment of all came when a very large woman stood framed in the doorway and eyed me angrily as Trev delivered his set speech.

‘Fancy letting a little boy do all your dirty work for you. Disgraceful I call it,' she said and slammed the door in our faces.

We became somewhat dispirited after that and returned home. Our total number of sponsors was five and one of those was only to be for 1/2p a mile.

We were ready for our egg and chips and, for the first time, I wished we had a shower in the bathroom; it would have been refreshing after all that foot slogging. Wonder if I could install one myself. Will have to look into this. Believe Steve installed his own.

May 11th – Monday

Grappling arrived at the office punctually at 11 am this morning. The whole place had been spruced up to an unnatural degree and Trina had bought some real coffee and macaroons for the occasion.

After a routine inspection of the mill with P.H. in attendance, they adjourned for a canteen lunch of chicken pie and fruit tart, which induced much tooth picking by Grappling which, continued throughout most of the afternoon.

We all met in P.H.'s small office in the middle of the afternoon and I noticed his Playboy calendar had been removed. I felt it an auspicious moment to produce my plans.

‘What do you think of these, sir?' I asked casually.

‘What's all this then?' he said.

‘Just a little doodling I've been doing in my spare time.' Didn't want him to get the idea that I was idling away time in office hours. ‘It's an idea for modernising our outfit, giving ourselves a new image, as it were.' He dislodged a particularly stubborn piece of something from a back tooth and studied the plan.

Just then, at the crucial moment, Trina entered with the coffee and macaroons – I could have cursed aloud. What a moment to choose.

‘I'll look at them later,' he said and he and P.H. went on to discuss Mrs Grappling's partiality for Eccles cakes.

I returned to some paperwork and at 4 pm Grappling re-emerged looking at his watch.

‘Must be off. Keep up the good work, lads.'

Felt I must get a word in about my drawings before it was too late.

‘Have you had a look at the plans?' I asked.

‘No time now. But have them here,' and he patted his brief case. ‘I'll give them my full attention this evening, never fear.'

Well, he couldn't speak fairer than that, and I felt quite elated as I drove home.

May 12th – Tuesday

Tooth aching again this evening.

Lost button in mulligatawny soup at lunch. At least I'm pretty sure that's where it went, but the stupid girl who clears the dishes swept the soup dish away before I had even finished.

May 13th – Wednesday

Julie unable to find a matching button for my suit so I expect that means she'll have to buy a whole new set.

Trev keeps singing song entitled “We've Got a Great Thing Going, Baby”, which sounds ridiculous sung by a ten year old. Both Julie and I are getting really fed up with it. Also, he needs a haircut.

Will have to do something about seeing the dentist.

May 14th – Thursday

We were honoured by a visit from Avery today, who arrived with a flourish and much honking of horn in Stan Swindlehurst's car. He spent his half an hour here telling us what a marvellous job he has, how wonderful his office is, what important contacts he has made and said things like ‘Yes, Stan was saying only yesterday, “I don't know how we've managed without your dynamic personality at Lumberjobs all these years”.'

Glancing out of the window, his expression changed. It had started to pour with rain within the last fifteen minutes and he had left the hood of Stan's car down.

May 15th – Friday

Today Julie had her first driving lesson. I came home expecting her to be “full of it” but she was remarkably reticent and, when pressed, only said, ‘I don't think I'm a natural born driver.'

Apparently, the first lesson is free if you sign up for a course of twelve.

‘By the way, I settled up for the lesson with Mr Jump. Perhaps I'll have some more lessons later in the year,' she continued.

‘But,' I said, ‘I thought you were keen to learn right away and pass your test. It was going to be the “open sesame” to a lucrative part-time job and a more active social life.'

She banged about while making the supper so I decided not to pursue the subject.

May 16th – Saturday

To my alarm, the large family with motorbikes reappeared this morning with measuring tapes. I hope this does not mean they're seriously considering Partridges. I was polishing the car when the chap called to me loudly, ‘What are the people like in this neighbourhood, eh?'

I thought this an unnecessary question and ignored it, pretending not to hear.

‘I see,' he said.

Steve came over later in the morning and said, ‘I haven't forgotten that game of golf – how about next Sunday morning?'

‘Right – you're on – five pence a hole' I replied and could see Steve's eyes narrowing. I'm not a great gambler but a little bet adds a bit of spice to the game. I will have to give some more attention to that grip before Sunday.

I mentioned the possibility of installing a shower in the bathroom and Steve said confidently, ‘Nothing to it, old chap. Must dash – having lunch early as Kev's in the sponsored walk this afternoon.'

Trev went off for the walk full of enthusiasm and rang up from a call box at 4.30.

‘Can you fetch me, Dad?' his voice came faintly over the line. ‘I've done four miles and I've got blisters all over my heels and I've been in a fight. I'm down Marsh Road at the entrance to the steelworks.'

He looked a sight when I collected him.

‘How on earth did you get into this state? Just look at your jeans – what's your mother going to say?' I asked. Also, he had a large red mark on his cheek and his nose had been bleeding.

‘Had this fight with Stewart because I wouldn't give him any chewing gum.'

‘I'll soon settle this Stewart. Where does he live? What's his other name?' I demanded.

‘It's Stewart Goodchap.'

This was bad news. If I mentioned the matter to Keith Goodchap and complained about his son, he would chalk up a big black mark against my name, and I could kiss goodbye to the Wheelers.

‘It's alright, Dad,' Trev continued. ‘You needn't do anything about it. He's only small and I gave him a good hiding.'

This could, if possible, be even worse.

May 17th – Sunday

Decided to take the family out for a run in the car into Wales for the day and must admit that this idea sprang partly from a fear of retribution by the Goodchaps.

‘Let's go for a spin and a picnic,' I suggested.

Julie made some sandwiches with cheese slices and pickle – a particular favourite of mine – and some crisp butties – a local delicacy – for Trev.

We had a pleasant day and I was relieved to see no group of angry people outside our front door when we arrived home.

Trev went out in the evening to collect his well-earned walk money and I paid up my forty pence.

May 18th – Monday

Wore my grey suit today and it wasn't until I was halfway through the day that I realised that Julie has replaced the missing button. The only snag is that the replacement is a different size and shade from the others. This was especially annoying as I had an important call this afternoon and I wanted to make a good impression. Was conscious of the odd button the whole time. I could even go so far as to say that the lack of a good order today was the direct result of the unease caused by the appearance of my suit.

Tackled Julie about it this evening but all she said by way of explanation was, ‘I saw the button in Una's sewing box when I went for a coffee and thought it would be a good enough match.'

‘It certainly is not good enough,' I said with feeling and went up to the bathroom. I took the nail scissors and snipped off all the front buttons. Hope that Julie will take the hint and buy a complete matching set of new ones.

May 19th – Tuesday

I should have thrown the old buttons away last night, instead of just leaving them on the bathroom windowsill.

Before going to sleep, Julie mumbled, ‘There are some buttons on the bathroom windowsill. I'm sure they're the right colour and size for your suit. I'll have a look tomorrow and sew one on.' Was too tired to reply.

Made an appointment to see a dentist in Weston called Hutter. He is not able to see me for a fortnight.

May 20th – Wednesday

Today there was a large envelope marked “PERSONAL” and addressed to me waiting at the office. I opened it with a feeling of excitement. It was from Grappling, written in his own hand.

Dear Porter,

I now return herewith your proposed scheme for the modernisation of the office block. I may say that I have been impressed by the obvious hard work you have put into this plan, and when the time is propitious we may indeed put it into operation.

I especially like the idea of a cantilevered roof, with hanging baskets of greenery.

Incidentally, you will notice I have made one or two suggestions on your drawing.

Yours sincerely,

Walter Grappling

This was encouraging. I glanced idly down at my drawing. Realised that I should have explained it to Grappling in person. He had indeed written a few comments and it was quite obvious that he had looked at the whole thing upside down.

BOOK: Tableland
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