Surrendering to Us (13 page)

Mom asked Lucah about the visit to his brother’s house, flipping the conversation onto safe ground. The food was fantastic, as usual, and I ate too much, as usual. What wasn’t usual was Lucah. He’d recovered from the initial stumble of the announcement that didn’t need to be made and the he was ON. I swear, I’d never seen him so fucking charming. Not even when he was trying to charm his way into my pants. He made my mother laugh and complimented Dad and managed to make me blush and fall even more in love with him.

“He’s fantastic, Rory,” Mom hissed in my ear as Lucah and Dad discussed camping.

“I know,” I said, and my heart squeezed a little.

“I wasn’t sure at first, but the way he looks at you and the way he talks about you. Just the way he says your name. You can tell a lot about how someone says your name.” My mother was a wise woman.

“So Dad knew?” I seized my moment to ask her about it.

“Shh, you need to take that up with your father. I don’t want to get in the middle of it, hmm?” To which I nodded and agreed. Her tone didn’t invite argument.

“So he knew,” was the first thing Lucah said when we got in the car. After Dad had gone over and gushed about it to Lucah and the two of them had reverted to five-year-olds with a new toy.

“I can’t believe that never occurred to me, but of course he would have known. He’s not an idiot. He’s been doing this for longer than I’ve been alive, and doing it damn well. I’m just wondering how he’s handling it, and I hope that the handling doesn’t get in the way of his health. That’s my biggest concern.”

Lucah nodded and shifted into a higher gear. There really wasn’t anything to do about it. We’d just have to wait.

“This sucks.”

“That’s a pretty accurate assessment.” Once again, I was exhausted, and I had to go to work tomorrow. Sometimes I wished I had a less-intense job where I could call in sick and watch movies in my pajamas all day, but it was not to be.

“I have an idea,” Lucah said after we got back to the apartment, finding it Sloane-free. “Why don’t you sit here and I’ll get a bath drawn for you, and then I will give you a massage that may or may not end with me fucking you with my mouth. How does that sound?”

“Amazing,” I said, flopping on the couch and lying back on the pillows.

“Okay, I’m gonna get that going.” He gave me a peck before going to the bathroom and turning the water on in the tub. I missed the tub at his old place. It was much nicer than mine, but sacrifices had to be made when we moved in together.

A few minutes later Lucah came out and picked me up from the couch and carried me into the bathroom. He’d lit every single candle I probably owned, including the scented ones. The smells all blended together, like a bouquet of flowers, and cast warm light over us. Lucah set me down and undressed me before lifting me up and depositing me in the tub. The water was almost scalding hot, just the way I liked it.

“Wait there.” He left the room. I’d hoped he would be naked so he could join me in the tub, but he came back with his guitar. Je-sus Christ. A hot bath, candles and a serenade? Was this real life? Was I hallucinating?

Lucah started strumming and playing random slow, romantic songs. Nothing heavy, just mellow tunes. I wanted to close my eyes, but I didn’t want to stop watching him. He always closed his eyes when he played, as if to give all his senses over to the music. Even without his voice, the music had power, and I could feel the tension and stress melting away from my body, leaving contentment in its place.

By the time we got to the massage, I was going to be completely boneless and spineless. Maybe I wouldn’t be able to work tomorrow. I rested my chin on the edge of the tub and watched Lucah play. Best part of my day.

The guitar abruptly stopped.

“You’re watching me.” He opened his eyes.

“Do you not want me to watch you? It’s kind of hard not to watch you. You’re sexy when you play. You’re sexy all the time, but especially sexy doing that.” He strummed once and held the strings so they would stop vibrating.

“My dad taught me how to play. On this old beaten-up guitar that he’d won in a poker game. He’d take my fingers and try to put them on the strings, but they’d always slip, so he’d put his fingers on them, and then mine on top of his so I could learn. He taught Tate and Ryder, but they didn’t like it as much as I did. It was like this special thing we shared. Just the two of us.” He plucked random notes as he talked.

“That’s sweet.” I’d seen pictures of them playing together, Lucah on his father’s lap with the guitar resting on both of them as he tried to play with fingers that weren’t quite big enough.

“I miss them. Sometimes it hits me harder than other times. But it’s always there. Missing them. That hole they left when they passed away. But it started feeling not so empty when I met you.” He looked up from the guitar and his eyes burned like the flames on the candles.

It almost took my breath away, what he said and the way he said it.

“That’s a lot of pressure.” And intimidating. I knew he loved me, but that was something different.

“I didn’t mean it that way. I just wanted to tell you how much you mean to me, and that you make me happy, for the first time in a long time. If anyone should be under pressure, it’s me.”

“You say I’m ridiculous, now you’re being that way. Do you know why I’m excited to get up in the morning, despite the fact that I hate getting up in the morning? It’s you. Before I met you, I used to get up for my job, and I still love going there every day, but my job never gave me goofy happy butterflies. You do.” I shrugged my shoulders. I wasn’t being very eloquent this evening.

Lucah put his guitar down and leaned his arms on his knees.

“You ready for your massage?” The water in the bath was starting to cool, so I nodded. He got a towel and I stood as he wrapped it around me and then carried me to the bedroom, where he had more towels laid out on the bed. He set me down on my stomach and then removed my towel, but buffed my skin dry.

I turned my head to the side, but I couldn’t see what he was doing. He turned on more music, this time soft piano music. The bed dipped as he climbed on and straddled my legs. Judging by the fact that I felt his skin and not his pants against my legs, he was naked.

Something warm drizzled on my back and then his hands started smoothing it out. I moaned involuntarily as he started working on my neck and shoulders using those guitar-playing fingers to play my body. And He knew just which strings to pluck. Once he was done with my shoulders he moved down my back, and went even lower, massaging my ass and thighs. I’d thought it would be weird, having him pay such close attention to areas that I used to think were my problem areas, but he put so much love and desire into his touch that I didn’t mind. Minding was the last thing I was thinking of.

He avoided my ladyparts and then moved down my legs to my calves and feet and even my toes. With one last caress of the bottoms of my feet, he set them down.

“I’m going to move you,” he said before he got off the bed and used my legs to pull me down so my lower half was hanging off the edge of the bed. He spread my legs and then his mouth was the one massaging the sweetest of places. He started slow, with long licks and slow kisses and sucks. The build was tender and aching, and when I came, it consumed me. My entire body trembled with the aftermath, and I knew I couldn’t do it again.

But, of course, he didn’t stop until I’d come again. Then he closed my legs, picked me up and turned me over.

“Stick a fork in me. I am DONE.” I said. I barely had enough energy to speak. Lucah climbed onto the bed next to me. Yup. He was naked.

“I’d rather not stick a fork in you. I kind of like you and that would be mean,” he said, brushing his fingers along my shoulder.

“You used to be mean.”

“I could be mean again. All you have to do is ask.” I moved some of his hair out of his eyes.

“Do you think it’s going to be okay? With the company?” Even with the massage and the serenade and the fabulous mouth action, I couldn’t forget about it.

“I think your father has it under control, and that you need to go to sleep.” He got up and put the towels in the hamper, blew out the candles in the bathroom and then pulled down the covers and got back into bed.

It was a fight to keep my eyes open, as if I’d had a sedative. I curled into Lucah’s body and let his heartbeat sing me to sleep.

Dad called me the next morning, and I wasn’t surprised. “Can you come to my office?” I walked slowly down the hall, keeping my head down. His face was blank as shut the door behind me.

“So it looks like you’re not going to be the only young one in here, you have to be happy about that. Violet starts tomorrow if I’m not mistaken,” he said as he sat down at his desk. He looked less gray today, but it was also more clear that he’d lost some weight, and not in a good way. I hoped things were going to start getting better very soon. I also knew that he didn’t call me down here to talk about Violet.

“Yeah, it’s going to be nice.” Dad and I were almost always on the same page, but I felt like he was reading an entirely different book and he wouldn’t let me see a single word of it. “Are you sure you’ve got it under control?” His eyes narrowed for a split second and he sat back in his chair. We’d left things on a strange note, and his assertion that he had things in hand didn’t lower my stress level by much.

“Yes, and you have to stop asking me that. I appreciate your concern, but this is my job and I’m going to take care of it. I’ve been doing this for a few years, you know.” He smiled, but I didn’t like it. He was being cold and distant, and he was almost never like that.

“Okay,” I said, swallowing anything else I might have to say about it. I’d tried. Mom had tried. There was nothing we could do but support him and be there for him and hope that nothing happened to him.

“So the reason I wanted to see you was that your mother has been begging me, since you left yesterday, to ask you if Lucah will be a regular part of our Sunday dining experience. If he wants to. I understand the position that puts him in, having dinner at his boss’ house, but your mother is almost as in love with him as you are, I think.” He chuckled and I saw a little of the dad I hadn’t seen in a while. It was also such an abrupt change in topic, it took a second for me to catch up.

“I don’t want to answer for him, but I’m pretty sure he’d love that. He’s been asking me to let him come for a while.”

“Really? I thought he was the reticent one. Why didn’t you want him to come?” I really didn’t want to discuss this with Dad right now. Or ever.

“I don’t know. I was just worried, I guess. Worried about what you would think of him.” Dad’s eyebrows came together in confusion.

“Why would anything he’d say change my opinion of him? That’s pretty well set already. I did meet with him plenty of times without you there. I’ve spent more time with him than you know about. I didn’t get angry when I found out that you were both violating the dating policy. And I also didn’t say anything about you moving in together. So. I don’t think anything he could do at this point, unless he hurt you, would change what I think about him.” Well. I didn’t know what to say to that. I had to think about it for a little while.

“Oh.” That was the best response I could come up with.

“I hate to cut this short, but I have a thousand things to do.” He got up and I did to and gave him a hug. “You’re my favorite daughter.”

“I should hope so,” I said, “seeing as how I’m your only daughter.”

“Oh, that’s right.” He let go and I walked back to my desk feeling a teeny bit better. If he had his sense of humor, that was something.