Surrender My Love (19 page)

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Authors: Lisa Eugene

BOOK: Surrender My Love
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“She’s just never liked me. We don’t get along.”

He seemed placated by that response for now. His brows jumped minimally, but she was grateful he didn’t press her.


Don’t worry. We’ll figure this all out. It’s late, Chloe. You must be exhausted. You should get some rest and we’ll talk more tomorrow—today.” He smiled and the appealing folds in his cheeks deepened.

Chloe snuggled into his neck,
not ready for him to leave. She wanted to steep in the solace he brought her. It was comforting to have strong arms wrapped around her, giving her assurance that everything was going to be fine. She almost believed it. Her lips started to play with the pulse at his neck, tracing it then smothering it with the flat of her tongue. His fingers tightened on her thighs, and he groaned against her ear, his warm breath whispering over her skin.

She
pressed a line of gentle kisses along his jaw and latched on to his lips when he turned to her. Her breath came faster now, driving recklessly out of her lungs. Eagerly she clashed her teeth against his and opened her mouth for his probing tongue. His breath rushed into her mouth and she swallowed it, greedy to consume every part of him. He was intoxicating, his flavor potently male. She shimmied her hips against his lap, delighted to feel the growing evidence of his arousal.
Arousal for me!
His cock felt large and stiff like she remembered, and her body started to pulse with liquid heat. She needed him moving inside her. She wanted him wrapped around her. She needed to get lost in the pleasure he could give her and to forget about this horrendous day.

She pulled back
and cleared her throat, staring into the vast skies of his blue eyes. “Stay. I—I need...you.” 

She watched him take an unsteady breath, the muscles of his face pulling taut. He placed his forehead against hers
, his breath blowing on her face. He shook his head.

“No,
Chloe.”

Sh
e pulled away, now fighting bitter tears of disappointment and hating herself for her shattered emotions. She felt so fragile tonight, so raw, and his rejection hurdled her to pitiful despondence.

Of course he wouldn’t want me
. My life is a mess. I’m a mess. Repulsive. That one night had been enough for him.

She was rooted on
earth trying to reach an unattainable star, a star so brilliantly blinding it scorched her senses and lit her entire being. She’d deluded herself into thinking that maybe he’d want her in the presence of his light.

She
tucked back her hair, her gaze falling to her lap. “Of course, I understand.”

“I don’t think you do.
Need I explain?”

The
hardness in his voice caused her head to jerk upwards, and her breath froze at the stark anger glowing in his eyes.

“Please
, no…” She shook her head and bit her trembling bottom lip. She didn’t want to hear it. She didn’t want him explaining why she wasn’t good enough. Jack had explained things perfectly.

Abruptly his long fingers plow
ed through her hair, cradling her head in a strong, angry grip and forcing her to meet his eyes. She couldn’t. Her watery gaze kept sliding away from his fierce inspection. His eyes penetrated her, probing beneath the layers of hurt that had accumulated for the last three years.


Look at me, dammit!”

She released her lip with
a mewl and hauled her reluctant gaze back to his.

“Who the fuck messed with your head, Chloe?”

A single tear fell from the corner of her eye and trekked down her cheek.

“Who told you
that you aren’t beautiful?”

She blinked hard, trying to stem the flood. He was yelling now, his voice barking roughly into the silent apartment.

Chloe had never felt so exposed, so vulnerable. The feelings were magnified because it was him who was getting the visual, him who was stripping her bare. She felt too weak to do anything but stare through her watery window, trying to comprehend his rage.

“I’d like to know
so I can kick his fucking ass! Is it your boyfriend?”

“I
—I don’t have a boyfriend.”

Her body shuddered with the effort of
stifling her emotions. He was crashing through her barricade, ripping apart every defense she’d ever built. In the end, more tears came, running like a river down her cheeks.


Shit!
” He dragged her to him and wrapped his strong arms around her, almost crushing her in his grip. “You’re so damn beautiful, Chloe. Inside and out.”

She sniffled into his shirt, mortified that she was having a meltdown in his presence.

What is wrong with me today? I’m usually so strong!

He leaned back and grabbed her hand, startling her when he p
ulled her palm to his crotch. She felt his hips buck as her fingers grasped hold of the solid length of his large erection.

“This is for you, Chloe.
This is what you do to me. I would love nothing more than to be buried inside you,” he said breathlessly. “That night in the alley was amazing.
A-fucking-mazing
!”

She blinked dully, looking into his expressive eyes. There was such sincerity there, such passion
, and it vibrated through her.

He chuckled
, the hand encasing hers squeezing tightly. She felt his erection kick in her palm through the fabric.

“You have
no idea how sexy you are. You’re naturally passionate and responsive. You just do what feels right, and it’s exciting as hell. I can’t get you out of my head.”

Chloe shook her head, still confused.

“Then why won’t you have sex with me?”

H
is wide shoulders relaxed as he blew out a breath. “Because you’ve been through hell today. You’re emotional and upset and it wouldn’t be fair to you. I want to make love to you all night long, Chloe, but I’d only be taking advantage.”

Chloe
pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, thinking she really wouldn’t mind him taking advantage. But he was right. As much as she desired him, she was emotionally raw and still twisting tight with anxiety. It wasn’t like the night at the club when they were both impulsively ruled by passion.

She managed a
weak smile when he rubbed his large palms up and down her arms, rubbing warmth into her skin.

“I’d like to stay
though, if that’s okay?”

V
astly pleased with the idea, she nodded and watched his lips curve into a devastating smile.

“Good. I was starting to think you were only interest
ed in my body.”

Ch
loe’s smiled and her fingers tightened their grip on his hard flesh. “Well, your body is pretty impressive.”

He shot her a saucy grin
, and she felt heat dissolve some of the knots in her stomach. He tsked loudly, shaking his head.

“I can see this is going to be a
true test of my willpower. Now, hands off the goodies.”

Chloe laughed at his
feeble attempt at a stern face. For good measure, she stroked to his bulging tip and squeezed hard, forcing a deep belly groan to curl out of his throat.

He bucked
his hips hard and tumbled her onto the couch. She yelped, gasping and falling into a tangle of limbs. Her bathrobe gaped open, revealing the taught roundness of her breasts and a pale expanse of skin at her hip. Brad growled and crawled over her body. He planted a soft kiss on her lips, his chest grazing her exposed nipples. She felt them strain and pucker to sharp points.

He pulled back and looked down at her
, locking her wrists as she moved to cover herself. Her breath hitched in her lungs. “You’re beautiful, Chloe.” His gaze dropped to her breasts and his lips tilted wickedly. “And so damn sexy. Don’t ever forget it. Now. Let’s go to bed before I change my mind and fuck you here on this couch.”

Chloe had to hide her grin as he sprang up
off the couch. She adjusted her robe and slipped her palm in his, leading him to her small bedroom that was little more than an expanded closet. The full sized bed possessed the space. It was a rocky ocean of bumps and lumps she’d grown accustomed to. She swept her gaze over his large frame, pinking with embarrassment as she wondered how he’d fit onto her cramped mattress. No doubt he was used to more luxurious accommodations. Plus the scarred night table and chest of drawers she’d wedged into the meager space barely left room to walk. He didn’t seem to notice as he unbuttoned and shucked his shirt from his broad shoulders, and soon her mind was busy contemplating other things.

Oh. My. God
… He is beautiful.

She’d been pressed up against him and knew he was solid, but t
he full visual of his splendid, hard body was sustenance for her hungry eyes. He did not have an ounce of fat on him. His wide shoulders and broad chest were sculpted with a rolling definition of muscle. It was an expanse of smooth tanned flesh interrupted only by a sprinkle of dark hair on his chest and two tiny discs of rust colored flesh. His waist was narrow with a washboard grid of tight abs. Chloe wondered how much time he must spend at the gym. Her gaze followed his hands as they shoved away his jeans to reveal a pair of blue boxers and she almost groaned aloud at the sight of the heavy thickness tenting the material. Her body instantly responded to the memory of having him inside her, and her sex buzzed with a flood of tiny sparks.

“Penny for your thoughts…” she distantly heard him and looked up to see the wicked grin on his face.

Oh God… Have I been caught staring? Again?

Penny? He’ll
need a lot more change than that, considering the thoughts rambling in my brain
. Ahh… What had she been thinking about before her brain turned to mush?
Yes! The small bed.

“Ah…um
…just wondering how you’d fit.”

She watched hi
s brows pull up quizzically and his blue eyes shined with mirth.  

She
grimaced, feeling heat consume her face. “Wondering how you’d fit…on the bed,” she clarified, and watched him bite his bottom lip to contain his laughter.

He
rotated his head and glanced at the mattress. “I know for a fact I’ll fit just fine.”

She gulped, because when he turned back and regarded her she knew he wasn’t talking about the mattress.
She grabbed a scrunchie to tie back her thick mop of hair, anything to hide from the burn of her embarrassment.

Great, Chloe. That was really smooth!
You dolt! Why don’t you just ask him to take out his penis so you can have a looksie since you haven’t actually seen one in years?
She was about to refute her conscience when it quickly countered
. One younger than eighty!

She cursed her inexperience. From what she remembered with Jack, sex just happened when the mood struck them…well, him mostly. And then the lights went out, he got on top, and minutes later it was over. There were no innuendoes, no playful teasing or se
xy banter. She wasn’t skilled at that sort of thing. And certainly they’d done nothing as scandalous as what had occurred in Brad’s office. Jack would never have enjoyed watching her touch herself. He would have been appalled at the very idea. And before Brad, thoughts like those were shameful fantasies she kept locked and chained in a dark corner of her brain.

She
sighed just as he slipped into bed and reached out to her. She peered into the endless pool of his beautiful eyes, thinking about her tumultuous day and her see-saw of emotions. Utopia existed in his eyes and hope was burgeoning in her chest, gaining strength. Looking into them, she found hope pushing through the thick muck of her emotions to lift her spirits and buoy her resolve to get to the bottom of what was happening to her. She offered him a tentative smile, then reached over and flipped off the lamp before pulling off her robe and slipping into the warm spot next to him.

He snuggled against her back.
Quietly, his arms and legs encased her, locking her into a lush heat of soothing sensations and textures. From the rock of his chest to the prickly feel of the coarse hairs on his legs, she was wonderfully inundated. She shuddered from the stimulation as he groaned against her ear and stabbed his erection against the curve of her ass.

“I was wondering if you were naked under
that robe.” He gently nipped her earlobe and groaned. “Are you trying to tempt me?”

She could sen
se his smile in the dark and imagined those lips tilting sensually. His fingers delved through her hair, removing the scrunchie.

“I…I don’
t usually sleep with clothes on,” she whispered, smiling secretly. He groaned again, a vibration that purred through her belly and rumbled in her sex, coating it with need.

“God help me...” H
e chuckled, his lips playing against the nape of her neck.

He fanned
out her hair, pulling his fingers through it in long leisurely strokes as he combed it over his chest. She heard his deep intake of breath and knew he’d buried his nose in a fistful.

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