Surrender (8 page)

“Where?”

I turned and walked backwards. “Black Tie, on Fifth and Patterson, eight o'clock,” I said and he grinned as I turned back and closed my eyes.

What the fuck have I done?

Chapter Eight

Dinner Time

I stepped into the bar and looked around. It was the one I had used in my book. The same bar in which the fantasy threesome had taken place and as I looked down at my only black cocktail dress, I had to grin. If anyone could say they were living a fantasy, it may be me at this point. All I knew about Keegan was that I felt something for him, something so strong. I dreamed of him every night, so much so I felt as if we were already together. I know it may sound crazy, but he had lingered in my mind for weeks and I just could not shake him. 

I walked towards the bar and slid into the tall black chair. The bartender looked young and familiar. He was the same one I had stolen for the book's scene and I grinned, the tip of my tongue flicking out and licking my upper lip. I was thirsty, but for a drink, maybe not. Maybe thirst should be replaced with
hunger
. I smiled as he walked over to me and I nodded to him. The dim light in the bar made it very inviting and I had been here a couple of times with Gemma. She preferred the loud bars near campus though, where I preferred this one, which was calmer and filled with people who were not going to college. I cannot lie and say that I chose this place on accident. One, it was private, and two…I was intrigued to bring Keegan to a place I had written him into, without him even knowing it.  Naughty? Perhaps. Did I care? Not one bit.

“Martini, dry.” I said as the bartender nodded to me. I felt a hand to my back and smiled. I turned, there she was, the woman from my book. Her red hair beautifully pulled to one side and draped over her pale shoulder. I opened my mouth and she leaned in and whispered to me. The shock stealing any ability I may have to speak.

“Would you happen to have a smoke?” I blinked a couple of times as she stood up and looked me over. My confusion was clear. She could see it all over my face. If I knew any better, I would think I was dreaming. I discretely reached down and pinched my arm, the small tinge of pain telling me I was definitely awake…but how? How could
she
be here? The odds were astronomical. I created her, she was a construct of my own dreams, put to paper…or screen, I should say. Her voice, everything…exactly the same.

“No?” she added in her thick French accent.

“I don’t…I mean…” Just then, a cigarette came into view and I watched as Keegan handed her one and then pulled out a silver lighter. She grinned and placed the black cigarette to her crimson lips. The light shining off of her pale blue eyes, almost silver in nature, as I sat there stunned and not quite sure what was happening. The flame went out and she drew smoke into her mouth, sucked it down and then released it slowly, as she tilted her head back. Keegan smiled at her and then turned to me. He tapped another cigarette on his case and offered it to me, I took it as the shock of seeing them standing here together was almost too much for me.

“Calista,” she said, as she extended her small hand out to me. I held my cigarette up and Keegan lit it as my hand shook. I took the smoke into my mouth and then sucked it down, as if I had been doing it my whole life.

“Keegan’s Calista,” I said, as if he owned her. Keegan smiled and Calista grinned at me, placing her red nail to her teeth and then eyeing Keegan. Her pale eyes were mesmerizing, just as I had written them. Her skin pale and flawless. Keegan was right, she was beautiful…my idea of beauty too, seeing this is how I envisioned her in my dirty little short story.

“I didn’t know you were back,” Keegan said to her and she tapped him on the chest two times. Her hand stopped and she adjusted his tie, as if it was something she often did.

“You never knew how to properly put on a tie, now did you, my love?”

I turned in my chair and grabbed my Martini. I slammed it back as they both turned and watched me. I set the glass down and then tried to grin, but my heart was in my throat. This was her, the red head in my book. Calista, a woman I dreamed up, but here she was, in the flesh before me. I cleared my throat and put the cigarette out as the woodsy flavor of it lingered on my tongue. It tasted of sandalwood and vanilla, just as Keegan smelled not only in the flesh, but in my book. I held my hand up and the bartender walked back over to me. I nodded to him and Calista eyed Keegan, who then took it upon himself to order.

“Scotch, two please,” he said as Calista stepped up and slid into the chair next to me. I looked straight ahead and saw her beautiful reflection in the mirror behind the bar. Her skin was flawless, pale…her lips matched her hair…red and gorgeous. She was more than pretty as Keegan had said, she was otherworldly. Suddenly, my little black cocktail dress seemed to pale in comparison.

“So,” she said as she placed her cold fingers on my arm. I looked down and saw her dainty hand lying there. I moved and broke the connection. I turned in my chair and smiled at her, my lips not parting, but it did not matter. She could probably feel the tension from me and I had no idea how to mask it.

“So.”

“How long have you been dating this one?” she asked Keegan as he stood there and watched her.

“This one?” I asked as I raised an eyebrow and glanced at him.

She touched my hair. “Keegan likes to play, he always has. I guess it is just in a man’s nature to want to taste as many fruits from the forbidden tree as he can.”

I narrowed my eyes and Keegan leaned up and took his scotch. He tapped the bar with his knuckle.  Calista looked at the scotch left there for her to enjoy.

“What do you want Calista?” Keegan asked her as he took a drink and then stared at his glass.

“What does any woman want?” she asked him as she kept her eyes locked on me.

I laughed under my breath and then started to stand up. My second drink came and I waved my hand at it.

“Have it….” I turned and looked at Keegan. “And him.”

She grinned and licked her top lip as she placed the glass to her lips and took a sip. Keegan reached out to me as I walked by him and then I stopped.

“Fay,” I turned to look at him.

“I should have known. I mean you lied about teaching and now this. If you have a girlfriend, it is totally fine,” I leaned into him. “But don’t try to make a fucking fool out of me, I don’t appreciate it. I don’t even know why I gave into you. I should have ignored this, all of it.”

Calista laughed behind us as he opened his mouth to speak.

“It isn’t what it seems, Fay.”

“Oh I think it is pretty clear,” I glanced at Calista as she grinned and spoke.

“Oh Keegan, how fast they fall.”

I rolled my eyes and headed for the door, completely disgusted and wanting nothing but to get out of this ridiculous fucking dress, heels and mindset.

***

I sat at my laptop and nothing would happen. The bar flashed over and over and all I could think about was Keegan and Calista. I mean what was that shit? I had heard about couples playing games, but fuck. I thought he really liked me, I did. I could see now that he was just some fucked up asshole who tried to get laid while his girlfriend watched on and mocked whoever was stupid enough to fall for his big blue eyes…and his lips, and that tattoo…the fallen angel. I sighed and pushed my laptop forward as I laid my head on the edge of the desk. I stared down at my feet and then saw my heels lying there…the black ones I had worn with my cocktail dress. God! What a fucking fool I am. This is exactly why I told Gemma I was not interested in fucking around with any guys while I was in school. I just wanted my degree and I wanted to practice and then maybe…just maybe, someday…get married and have children. Get married to someone who…. Keegan’s mouth flashed into my mind and I stood up and shook my head. I walked to my iPod and placed my earbuds in and turned it on shuffle. I slid it into the elastic of my boy shorts and I swayed back and forth as the music flowed through me. I raised my hands over my head and swayed my hips back and forth. The woman’s voice crooned on along with a slow and steady beat…

“One heart, one heart…beating on, one life, one life…reaching for the stars...hearts, broken from the start…”

I lowered my hands and placed them on my stomach, my eyes remained closed. I tapped my fingers to the rhythm, letting it sooth me as my hips continued to sway. I started to sing along, saying the words and wanting to forget about all of it. About waking him up at the coffee shop, riding in his car…being shocked in his class, then having him lean against me and show me the star in the sky. I reached up and swayed back and forth as the song droned on. I slid my hands down the sides of my hips as I sighed. I could see him so clearly, in my bathroom, pressed up against me and fangs sinking into my skin. I turned and opened my eyes and screamed bloody murder as Keegan stood there in my room about four feet from me.

“FUCK!” I yelled out as I jumped and jerked my white earbuds from my ears. He didn’t even blink. I placed a hand to my chest as it rose and fell. He had almost given me a heart attack. I swallowed hard and looked behind him, expecting to see Calista. My eyes made their way back to his as he stood very still and watched me.

“You shouldn’t be here,” I said, starting to get my composure back.

He took one step towards me as I took one step back. “I needed to see you,” his voice was calm, calmer than I expected after the bullshit at the bar.

“Is there a video camera in here?”

He shook his head and scanned the room.

“Why would there be a camera, Fay?”

I crossed my arms on my chest. My anger starting to rise. “For your little perverted game you have going on with her.”

The corner of his lip curled as a small grin tried to break through. I was not amused. “Calista?”

I shifted from one foot to the other. “Yes…Calista.”

“It is… complicated.”

I shook my head. “You said she was deported,” I stopped and narrowed my eyes. “And Greek…
very
Greek, and she is not, she is French.”

“Her mother was French, her father was Greek.”

I laughed. “I don’t care, not really…I mean, I just have a hard time believing anything you say.”

He stepped closer to me, the dim light in my room showing off his features. I need to remain calm and strong here. I am pissed, I have every fucking right in the world to be.

“Fay,” he said as his eyes ran down my body and he took my half naked frame in. I tried to ignore him, but it was hard, his intoxicating smell preceded him. The scent of sandalwood and vanilla started to fill the room. I had no idea why I so easily wanted to forgive him. It was almost as if he could cast a spell without saying a word.

“I didn’t know she was back here.”

I turned and walked to my desk. I took my iPod out of the elastic band of my panties and placed it and the earbuds on the smooth wood. My fingers lingered there, feeling the smooth texture as I could smell him more. I turned and he was right there, a foot from me and my heart fluttered in my chest.

“Keegan, you need to understand personal space,” I whispered as he stood his ground.

He moved towards me, slow and cautious. As if I was a deer in the woods and he was not wanting to frighten me off. I leaned back and placed my hands on my desk. His body so close now I had to turn my face. If I did not I would be so tempted to…

He reached out and with the back of his hand he gently touched my cheek. I closed my eyes, my lips parting and the words “leave now” wanting to be said.  His fingers lingered, tracing my bottom lip and I closed my eyes. His touch leaving traces of fire and need behind.  His hand slid to the side of my neck, his touch still soft and tender. In my book, Keegan was rough and passionate, but here he was, attentive and giving. It was the best of two worlds as I started to blend the two together, without truly wanting to.

“I don’t understand how Calista could be…” I started to say and he leaned up, his lips parting and then making contact with my own. It stopped the flow of words falling from my lips and paused the confusion in my mind. All I could think about was him. His smell, his lips against my own, his tongue making its way into my mouth and searching. A desperation lingering behind his mystery. All of it making me want him so much more than I had ever wanted anything in my entire life.

He moaned, a low growl deep in the back of his throat. His hand slid to the base of my back and he pulled me forward. My chest pressed against his own. His body so firm, his strength comforting me. His kisses remained gentle, he was taking his time, wanting to please me and indulge in the moment as I did. This kiss was more than I could have ever imagined, more than I could have ever described in any story I could tell. It was filled with a need, as was my own. I wanted Keegan, but beyond that, I needed him. Need is a powerful thing, it supersedes clarity and reason.

I leaned up, having to stand on my tip toes to wrap my arms around his neck.  I pressed against him, my nipples hardening and his chest rising and falling with my own.  He placed his hands on my sides and lifted me up onto the edge of my desk; I knocked my iPod to the floor as he leaned forward. I spread my legs as he leaned in. He reached under me and jerked my hips forward. I could feel him hard against my humming clit. My breath became stuttered as his lips raced from mine to that of my neck. He opened his mouth and gently bit me. My legs tensed and pressed against his sides as he responded to me. His bite eased and his soft lips caressed the crook of my neck.

“Do you want me?” he whispered into my ear and I nodded. He lifted his head up and his eyes looked glossed over. His feelings of lust as strong as my own. He placed his hands on my face as his stare hardened.