Super Sexual Orgasm: Discover the Ultimate Pleasure Spot: The Cul-De-Sac (8 page)

Essentially, the intercourse position in this final exercise is the inverse of what you were using in the previous exercise. In other words, this is a cul—de—sac penetration exercise with you, the woman,
on top.

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As before, begin with a sensate focus body caress, moving on to a genital caress perhaps with some oral sex included as well. Now start to tease your vagina and clitoris with your partner’s penis. After you have luxuriated in this wonderful sex play for as long as you desire, insert your lover’s erect penis inside of you and start peaking slowly and suggestively through to levels 6, 7, and 8. Recall the way you used the dildo in past exercises to pleasure yourself at all excitement points when you were on top and do the same here with your partner’s penis.

Plateau at level 8. After plateauing, continue to excite yourself with your partner’s penis inside of you, to level 9. Be adventurous and daring with the motion of your thrusts. But make sure all the while to keep your movements as slow and sinuous as possible. Now, here’s the kicker: As you plateau at level 9, lean back as far as you comfortably can, supporting yourself with your hands for balance (recall the exquisite sexual maneuver Sharon Stone performed in the movie Basic Instinct), and tighten your lower abdominal muscles while keeping your PC muscle relaxed. In this position, the cul—de—sac will now open, enabling you to push down that little bit extra on your partner’s penis and grasp it there. You will cascade over into a voluptuous super sexual orgasm that you can repeat as many times as you wish. Wow!

If you had tried to experiment with this position before (after you saw the movie, perhaps), it would not have worked the same magic. Pleasurable, yes. But no SSO. Why? Because you didn’t have the strength, you didn’t have the motion, and you didn’t have the control. But now you do. Now you have it all. You have strength,

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motion, position, control, and experience bringing them all together. And that adds up to the super sexual orgasm.

Pleasure Now, Pleasure Forever

Part I of your journey is now complete. You have all the basic information and experience you need to create an unforget-table sexual encounter with your lover. Congratulations.

Having worked hard, and followed all my instructions, you now have the capacity to focus yourself in your lovemaking toward achieving an orgasm that doesn’t rely on just one trigger site, but on a multiple of trigger sites that culminate in super sexual orgasm. For that is, in essence, what makes super sexual orgasm stand head and shoulders above all other sexual sensations for a woman. With SSO, you get a multitude of orgasmic sensations happening simultaneously. From the stimulation of the cul—de—sac, you get the deep sensation of a vaginal orgasm. It’s almost like an orgasm within an orgasm, in fact. With the relaxing and spasming of your PC muscle around your lover’s penis, you are experiencing what you may have traditionally felt to be your or-gasm. And then with the excitement of your G—spot and clitoris, all your sensual bases are magnificently covered.

So truly, then, your super sexual orgasm is an all—encompassing sexual experience, the likes of which you can produce for yourself and for your lover again and again and again. But there is more that waits for you ahead.

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In Part II of this book, we will continue to enhance the SSO experience through the use of intimate bonding techniques and other special exercises. You will rise to even greater heights of pleasure as you add levels of depth and meaning to the SSO experience. Your new level of control will lead you into an experience of surrender that will infuse your partnership with romance and passion. So rest and get ready to redefine your understanding of intimacy, erotic connection, and sensual pleasure.

PART II
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ENJOYING SURRENDER

Before we begin the second part of this book I want to once again congratulate you for mastering the techniques that will set the stage for a lifetime of extraordinary pleasure. Your “undergraduate” work is now complete. Yet the most valuable payoffs, the romantic rewards, are yet to come. Thus far, our primary focus has been on you—your body, your feelings, your orgasm. But the best sex is always a “we” experience, with you and your partner synchronized in mind, body, and spirit.

In Part II, we celebrate the “we.” The emphasis is on joining with your partner, incorporating your partner into your pleasures and into your world. For me, creating this romantic landscape is everything. And while we have needed the SSO experience to get you here, there is so much more waiting.

You are about to turn the page—not only literally, but physically and emotionally as well. Having mastered SSO you are truly prepared to discover your sensual potential, as I promised you would be. Every loving woman is most thrilled when she can share her sexual core with a loving partner and when that partner can recip-rocate. That is what it means to feel your true sensual potential. And now it is time to experience the rewards—to experience the new you, strong and in control of your body, your sensuality, and your orgasms, is capable of surrendering to a consuming, passionate partnership.

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BONDING

Your partner needs to feel trust. And your partner

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needs to have information. In my clinical work, I often hear men complain that they can feel very left out of lovemaking. Female sexuality can seem terribly complex and intimidating at times, even to a very savvy partner. And the power of SSO can be particularly intimidating.

You don’t want this to be a roadblock on the path to the pleasures of super sexual orgasm. When there is a man in your life who cares about your pleasure, he deserves to be an important part of your experience. And the closer the connection between the two of you, the more gratifying that experience will be. Now, more than ever, you have so much to share. You have already experienced your first super sexual orgasm, and that is an extraordinary prize. But in this chapter, I want you to go for the gold: increased personal sexual fulfillment
and
increased intimacy with another human being. Isn’t it worth taking a little time right now to fortify your loving connection, and pave a path for a future of intimate sharing?

This chapter, written for you and your partner to read together, is all about connection. It will help both you and your partner understand the real value of his participation while demystifying your pursuit of the ultimate orgasm. And it will also offer him a number of techniques that greatly enhance the sensuality of his experience, while adding to the magic of yours.

Given the foundation that your partner is a decent and sensitive person, you can look forward with joy to the exercises in this chapter and the chapter that follows. I’ve found in all my therapeutic experience there is nothing that brings a couple to sexual rapture more than learning

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about each other’s bodies together. A wellspring of totally consuming orgasms comes from each person in a loving partnership gaining an understanding of his or her own and his or her partner’s sexual and sensual needs. The techniques I will outline for you are crafted specifically to help you and your partner meet these powerfully intertwined needs. By figuratively and sometimes literally guiding your partner’s hand to a greater knowledge of the pleasures of your body, the two of you will form a powerful emotional and spiritual as well as physical bond. The lovemaking that blossoms from this cannot help but be profoundly ecstatic.

A Time for Us

As I said before, this chapter has been written for you and your partner to read together, and I hope that you do just that. Present this not as a demand but as an option, as an avenue of augmented sexual exploration for the two of you. I’ve even known some couples to turn the reading of some of my previous books into part of their lovemaking, the ultimate compliment I could ever receive.

In any event, whether or not this chapter becomes a bed-time story for the two of you, there is one thing you must both agree on at the start. This seems pretty basic, but it eludes a lot of people: You must mutually agree to schedule convenient times to do these exercises together. At these times, you should be ready to fully engage in the process—mentally, physically, and emotionally.

If at a given time, you are not available on those three

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levels or perhaps your partner is not, be honest about it with each other and reschedule. Or perhaps you can do whatever few things need to be done to settle the situation and move on into the exercises. But be realistic. There are always going to be reasons you or your lover could look to for rescheduling to a better time almost every time. As they say, it’s always something. So don’t get caught up in a merry-go-round of finding the "perfect" time. A good time is good enough.

One more thing. Make sure that the place you do the exercises—and it does not have to be your bedroom necessarily—is comfortable, totally private, and free of distractions. If you want to try out a number of different places to see what works best, go ahead. But, if possible, just so you can establish some kind of supportive, consistent environmental rhythm, try to narrow your location down to one in particular as soon as possible.

Spoken Word

A critical element to conclude each of the following exercises with is
talking
—talking about what you have done and how this has made you feel. You don’t have to give a Ph.D. de-fense about your experience. A few words may suffice. You’ll see. Most important, speak from the heart as you talk and be honest about yourself.

When you listen, do just that. Don’t interrupt. Don’t think about what you are going to say in response. Let the information in. You may disagree. Okay. Nothing wrong with that. Just don’t turn this into a sporting event with

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everything being about winning and losing. Intimacy is never about winning and losing; it’s about communicating and growing.

Feel free to ask each other questions, such as: How did you feel during this and that part of the exercise? Was there a portion that was more enjoyable, scary, weird? How was your concentration? Did you lose it? When? And how did you get it back? These and other questions can be asked again and again with greatly revealing results for the two of you. And please note, if you decide to make any changes based on the information you receive, they should be changes you will try, not changes you will necessarily make forever. Each experience of the exercises keeps the dynamism of the interplay going. The pleasure patterns you will create together

will be infinite if you just allow yourselves to be.

To Bond, with Love

The exercises you are going to work on with your partner in this chapter are what I consider to be the essentials, the primary colors so to speak, of any relationship. I like to call these "bonding techniques." You may find them sexy, even a total turn-on, but that is not their primary focus. The goal here is to enhance feelings of closeness, intimacy, trust, and acceptance. You will be holding, cuddling, hugging, and playing. You will become relaxed with each other, attuned in such a fine way that your breathing and heartbeats may even fall into rhythm

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together. Actions speak louder than words. And so you may find that even if you have told your partner “I love you” many, many times, this love deepens incredibly after doing these exercises. This is also why I suggest you do one or more of these exercises for at least ten minutes a day, every day of your relationship lives.

Embraceable You

In the first bonding exercise, you are going to practice “spoon breathing.” Here’s how it’s done.

Lie together, nude or clothed, on a comfortable surface with one person’s back snuggled up against the other person’s front. The person who is in back places a hand on the stomach of the person in front. Lie perfectly still and try not to talk or wiggle. Pay attention alternately to your breathing and your partner’s breathing. Take three to four deep breaths and exhale forcefully. This should start to slow your breathing down. Do this several times. If you notice you are starting to breathe quickly again, take these deep breaths. Make sure your muscles are relaxed. Go through your body muscle by muscle and check each one for tension. Release, release, release. Let the warmth and the closeness you are feeling to your lover wash over you and bathe you in peace and tranquility.

You may notice that after a few minutes of spoon breathing you actually feel lighter throughout your whole body, and that your partner feels lighter too. A lot of cou—

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ples like to fall asleep in this position. I also recommend spoon breathing when one or the other of you is headachy or feeling out of sorts. Some couples even do this when one of them is sick. There is no hard clinical proof for this, but many people in my practice have told me it helps their ill partner heal more quickly. I can understand why.

The Eye of the Beholder

Eye gazing is a bonding exercise that many couples find even more intimate than spoon breathing. See for yourself.

Again, lie on a comfortable surface and face each other. It is your choice whether to be naked or clothed. Wrap your arms comfortably around each other and gaze into each other’s eyes for several minutes without talking, making sounds, or pan-tomiming.

Couples have reported to me that such intense feelings of closeness well up for them during this exercise that one or the other or both have started trembling. Some have even started crying as their hearts open up without interference to each other. Even if your reaction is not as strong, such prolonged eye contact rejuvenates the senses and the soul. It builds love and promotes acceptance. How wonderful to have your precious partner in your arms.

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Lap of Luxury

Lap dancing may be all the rage right now, but it has nothing on this next beautiful exercise. I’m sure you’ll both agree.

Sit with your back against a wall or other vertical surface. Your partner lies down with his head in your lap in such a way that he feels comfortable. Tenderly wrap your arms around him, sometimes soothing his forehead with gentle loving strokes. Share this embrace and feel each other’s warmth. Breathe. Feel your hearts beat. Then switch places and repeat the exercise.

Full–Body Contact

Have you ever wanted to feel as much of your partner as you could all at one time? Well, now you can, or close to it, with the following technique.

Lie on your back on a comfortable surface and have your partner slowly lower himself on top of you, nose to nose. He should gradually, sensuously allow his full weight to be supported by you on the bottom. Stay this way for at least five minutes, silent and attentive to each other. Sense your lover at every point of contact. Do not talk or make any active efforts to move.

You can do this exercise either clothed or in the buff. Surprisingly, it does not seem to make much difference if one person is much beavier or taller than another. No one is overwhelmed because the mass of body spread out against body

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finds its own equilibrium. Adjust your head to a place of greatest comfort. Some people like having their faces nose to nose while others like to lie cheek to cheek.

When you are done, switch places and repeat the exercise.

Everyone needs a little nurturing in his or her life. Yet too often we forget to ask our lover what he or she would like—and if we are not asked, we forget to ask for ourselves as well. We go around assuming and hoping that our dearest can see into our mind and heart and must know when we want what we want. And if we don’t get that kind of clair-voyance, well then, we get quite out of sorts about it.

But being in a relationship does not suddenly impart to you or your lover the omnipotent ability to know what the other person wants without him or her saying it. Sometimes you can guess right or pick up on subtle clues. But the best policy is to ask for what you want in a loving way. And if you ask for any of these loving bonding exercises, I guarantee you are going to cherish some incredible moments of gentle, soothing support that all of us long for and deserve on a daily basis.

A Caress is Something to Share

In Part I of this book, you learned about the sensate focus caress, and had a number of opportunities to practice a basic fullbody caress and a very intimate genital caress. But this is just the tip of the sensate focus iceberg. And right now, it’s time to move on to another level

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of partner bonding by broadening your repertoire of sensate focus caresses.

When you do any of the following partner sensate focus caresses, remember that one of you will be taking the
active
role and one of you will be taking the
passive
role. You will always switch roles halfway through each exercise, so it doesn’t matter who goes first.

Alternating active and passive roles encourages important aspects of wholeness and balance in a relationship. Consciously or unconsciously, as a relationship progresses, each partner typically moves into a set of defined activities that becomes a role. These activities may be emotionally or task-oriented. They are often very low-key and subtle things. For instance, if you both shower together, perhaps one of you typically washes the other first. Or, here’s a familiar scenario: One of you always picks up take-out food on the way home when you are not going to cook. Not a big deal? Maybe. But you would be surprised how many couples in a relationship crisis have been brought to that point in no small measure because patterns have entrenched and accumulated till the weight and intractability of it all has broken into the foundation of commitment.

Sensate focus exercises give both of you the opportunity to get outside your usual roles and routines. Being passive and active alternately takes away established limits on communication and requires you to both branch out and explore your entire individual self and selves in altogether new ways. So many couples I know have told me the sensate focus exercises have functioned as a tonic

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and elixir, filling their emotional and spiritual lives with honor, integrity, and joyous equality. Plus, I might add, the exercises feel great and are a whole lot of fun.

A few more thoughts before we get into the exercises: Sensate focus is for your pleasure. Touching your partner while concentrating on what feels good to you may seem selfish, but it is in fact good for the both of you. Mutuality is promoted because you will both focus on a shared activity at the same time. You will both be consummately together in the moment. When you are the active partner, add to your focus on touch a focus on creating a positive, healing energy directed toward your passive mate. And when you are the passive partner, just relax and enjoy the caress, unless of course something bothers you and you want your partner to stop.