Summer of Love (28 page)

    
"Helen, there is nothing to prevent us anymore … or is there? … Why are
you hesitating?"

    
"Andrew, let’s get away safely first."

    
"But you know that I want to marry you, the faster the better. Don’t you
want to be my wife?"

    
"Yes," she answered. It sounded hesitant even to her.

    
"So, what’s holding you back then? It can’t be your promise to Robert …
not after what he did to you."

    
"No, it’s not Robert. Let’s not rush it. Just get away first."

    
"But we will be safer if we are married."

    
"Why?"

    
"First, it would be less suspicious. If people suspect that we are not
married, they could denounce us."

    
"We could claim to be brother and sister."

    
"Doing what?"

    
"That we’re on our way to see our father who has fallen seriously ill in
Edinburgh."

    
"Without luggage? And after Edinburgh?"

    
"Oh, Andrew, Liverpool or whatever big city comes next."

    
"But we don’t look like brother and sister … and I can’t banish my love
for you from my eyes. I don’t want to curb myself even more by pretending
to be mere brother and sister when I want to hold and kiss you all the time."

    
"You couldn’t kiss me in the open anyway. That would cause a scandal
and really get us into trouble."

    
"But at least it would be all right to look at you lovingly and to sometimes
touch your hand… We couldn’t sleep together. The maid would know right
away next morning—or don’t you want to share the bed with me?"

    
"Brother and sister are allowed to share beds."

    
"Maybe in the Highlands, but not in England. And besides, if your father
should catch up with us, heaven forbid, he can’t prevent it anymore."

    
"Oh, nothing would stop him."

    
"He would have to accept what has been done."

    
"It might just make him mad enough to kill us both."

    
He looked at her for several seconds, a slight frown on his face. "Helen,
there is something. I can feel it. Why don’t you want to tell me?"

    
"I don’t really know. I just don’t feel ready yet."

    
"Is it because I’m illegitimate?"

    
"No, that’s not your fault."

    
"Because I am a Campbell?"

    
She lowered her gaze.
Is it that? Is it so deeply ingrained in me?

    
"It did not matter four years ago. Does it now?"

    
She raised her face, a defiant look in her eyes. "Andrew, I feel pushed
around by you. Everything I say you question or put down as silly."

    
Andrew seemed confused. When he did not answer right away, she added:
"And I feel that you’re not listening to me."

    
"I thought I was. I thought I was just using logic and sound reasoning to
persuade you to marry me—"

    
"— and show my reasons illogical and not sound."

    
He blushed deeply and lowered his head. Helen immediately saw that she
was accusing him of exactly what she had accused all men to do when they
had discussed ‘Pamela’ and she knew Andrew was not like this, that he had
always valued her judgment. But why didn’t he hear her now? Why didn’t
he see that she needed time?

    
"I’m sorry, Helen," he said in a subdued voice, and then looked her in the
eyes, pleadingly. "I just love you so much that I want to bind you to me for
ever… Don’t be mad!"

    
Feeling bad, she made a vain attempt to smile. She went to him and put
her head on his shoulder. He folded his arms around her.

    
"Andrew, I’m confused. It all happened too fast. Just give me time."

    
"I will, Helen… I promise, I won’t push you again. But you must know
that marrying you is my greatest wish."

 * * *

Shortly after nine o’clock they reached Lochearnhead. Helen riding behind
Andrew, rather than walking—the highland practice for a married woman in
the company of her husband—raised curious eyebrows, but nobody
remarked openly on it. Andrew asked the innkeeper if he knew of anybody
who had a riding horse for sale. He was told that if anybody did, it would
certainly be the Drummonds or MacGregors of Balquhidder. Without delay,
they left the little town, taking the road to Callander.

    
Once past the last houses of Lochearnhead, Andrew asked: "Do any of the
MacGregors of Balquhidder know you?"

    
"Yes, we had several visits of cousins from Balquhidder and they might
recognize me. Just last year James Drummond and his oldest son, Fergus,
visited my parents. Anyway, my resemblance to my mother would surely
give me away."

    
"So it’s better if I go alone and you hide somewhere." He turned to look
at her. "You agree, Helen?"

    
"Yes." She chuckled briefly. "It will be rather ironic to get help from my
cousins for running away from my parents."

    
"Yes, and they’re bound to find out sooner or later." Andrew grinned too.

    
"Do you think that they’ve found Robert by now and may already be on
our trail, Andrew?" Her voice betrayed her anxiety.

    
"They might have found him, but I think that they’ll first try to find us in
Killin, and I told Mr. Nichols that I was to catch a boat in Dundee. So they
might search in the wrong direction to start with."

    
"You think so?"

    
"Yes. I doubt they’ll get to Lochearnhead before this evening and by then
we should be in Stirling already."

    
"I hope so. I’m afraid for us if they catch us."

    
Andrew pressed her hands reassuringly.

    
"Once we’ve two horses, we should be able to keep a step ahead of them."

    
Helen hid in bushes where the road to Balquhidder split off, while
Andrew cantered the mile into the little settlement. After some inquiries, he
was directed to the house of James Drummond, alias James Roy MacGregor,
who had changed his name in honor of Lord Perth, under whom he had
served in the uprising.

    
James Drummond still strutted like the major he claimed to have been.
Andrew put his request to him, addressing him in English. The major’s first
question was: "Why do you need another horse, young man. You came
riding on one, didn’t you?"

    
"This one isn’t mine. It belongs to my friend. I had to put mine down
when it broke a leg on Ben Vorlich."

    
"Yes, those slopes are treacherous if you don’t know your way around…
And what were you doing there?"

    
"Oh, we came in from Crieff and were exploring the beautiful sights of
Glen Artney."

    
"That is pretty country through there… You are then not from around
here, are you?"

    
"No, I’m just visiting. I come from the South."

    
"I think I have just the horse for you. He is a beauty." He quickly put his
head through the cottage entrance and called out: "Fergus, bring the black
stallion for this gentleman here!"

    
A young man in his late teens came outside, nodded to Andrew, and disappeared behind the cottages. While they waited, the ex-officer wanted to
know more about Andrew’s origin and how long he intended to stay in the
Highlands. Two minutes or so later, the lad came trotting back with the
horse. It was a beautiful animal and showed its high spirits by the way it was
prancing about in front of them. Andrew fell in love with it instantly.

    
After half-hearted bargaining—to Andrew’s surprise James Drummond
let the animal go for only eighteen guineas—the major offered him a saddle:
"Take this for another six guineas, young man. It was especially made for
this horse."

    
They sealed the deal with a handshake, and Andrew counted out twenty-eight pounds in gold coins. James Drummond pocketed them with a pleased
smile and said: "Come, let us celebrate this fair bargain with a glass of
claret."

    
Andrew hadn’t counted on a further delay. He was nervous to get back to
Helen. "Kind sir, I’m afraid I’ve to decline your generous offer. My friend
and I have to get back to Crieff tonight, and it’s a long ride. We’ve been
summoned to an important appointment in Perth the day after. Maybe I can
take up your offer next time I visit your area."

    
James Drummond didn’t seem disappointed, and after exchanging banal
pleasantries, Andrew rode off on the stallion, jubilant with his purchase.

 * * *

"Look, Helen, what a buy," Andrew called out from afar.

    
"He is a striking animal, Andrew," she answered when he reached her,
while her face expressed disapproval, "but don’t you think it was rather silly
to buy such a horse?"

    
"Why should it be silly? Isn’t he just a beauty?" he asked, his voice
betraying his hurt.

    
"Yes, he’s beautiful, and everybody who sees you will agree … and will
remember the horse. Knowing my Balquhidder cousins, I doubt that they got
that horse legitimately."

    
"I see." He had lost his exuberance, frowned, and then continued her train
of thought in a subdued tone: "It’s like leaving a trail of pointers behind us.
Oh, Helen, how stupid of me not to think of that. I simply fell in love when
I set eyes on him. What should we do?"

    
Helen was almost disappointed that he accepted her rebuke without the
slightest sign of annoyance or anger, even agreed with her. None of the males
in her family would ever have admitted to an error of judgment unless they
said so first, and that would be the rare exception. Then she reminded herself
that this was Andrew, her Andrew. She tried to tone down her reproach:
"Maybe, it’s not so bad. Right now, we can’t do anything. We need to press
on."

    
He looked at her gratefully. "You want to ride him?"

    
His facial expression left little doubt that he would like to ride the animal
himself.

    
"No, I’d rather ride your placid mare. I wouldn’t feel fully in control on
your stallion." She smiled, and he replied, blushing. A warm feeling radiated
from her heart.
He’s so transparent. So lovable!

    
He helped her onto the mare. Her flimsy petticoat rode high, exposing her
shapely legs.

    
"Helen, would you be willing to wear my riding coat?" He sounded
worried.

    
She looked at him questioningly. "Why?"

    
He blushed. "Because your petticoat is too revealing. Somebody might
denounce us."

    
It was now her turn to blush. Each noticed the other’s discomfiture at the
same time, and both broke into an embarrassed chuckle.

    
"Oh, Andrew. You’re too sweet… Pass me that coat!"

    
He handed it to her, and she put it over her shoulders, adjusting it such
that only her boots were showing.

    
"Is that better? Do I now look decent enough for my man?" she teased
him.