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After a brief moment, a spell of dizziness overwhelmed me. I let go of the stress ball and grabbed at the chains before my knees buckled.

The flogger stopped. The floor vibrated beneath me.

Daniel removed the blindfold. "Julia, look at me."

I tried. I really did, but my eyelids were too heavy. Next, I tried to open my mouth, but it was so dry that the words wouldn't come out.

Daniel unhooked the cuffs and
swooped
me up in his arms, transporting me ... somewhere. I was so
dizzy,
I couldn't tell what direction we were moving in. He set me down on something soft.
Held my hand.
Handed me a bottle of water and helped me put it to my lips.

When my arms shook too much to hold on to it, Daniel took it from me. And after leaning me back, he helped me drink.

I took a few sips,
then
turned my head away from it. My back was on fire, and while whatever it was that he'd set me on was soft under my fingertips, it was coarse against wherever the flogger hit me.

"Are you okay?" Daniel asked, his voice not sounding nearly as muffled as before.

"Yes," I slurred, unable to remember the shape my mouth had to be in for me to say master. "More."

"Water?"

I shook my head. "More."

"Not tonight." Daniel smoothed back my hair and held me close to his chest. "Can you open your eyes?"

"Heavy."

"Try.
For me."

Furrowing my brow, I squinted at a very blurry Daniel.

"Good girl. Tell me where you are."

"Your place."

"Did I hurt you?"

"No ... Mast … ma..."

"No more master tonight.
Just me.
Are you okay?"

"Yes. Dizzy."

"You should drink more water."

I shrunk away from it. "No, I'm fine." I went to sit up, but he held me down.

"Trust me. This is one of those times when a Dom knows best."

Sighing, I rolled onto my side with his help. "How's my back?"

"Getting a little more coherent.
Good."

"And here you were afraid you'd be the silly one tonight."

"I should've known better." He paused and gently ran is fingers across my sides.

"How is it?"

"Lovely as always.
Pink mostly.
Some red.
Not bad for your first flogging."

"Did we have to stop?"

He looked down at me. "You wanted to keep going?"

I nodded.

"But you let go of the ball."

"I thought I was going to fall and grabbed for the chains."

He let out a sigh of relief. "That's good to know. Still,
it's
better we check in. I need you to answer something for me. Did you have anything to eat today?"

I shrugged.
"Yogurt this morning."

"I remember that, but what about lunch?" When I didn't reply, he said, "That probably explains your reaction then.
Low blood sugar."

"But I'm not diabetic."

"We all need blood sugar, Jules
. "

"I know. I just never thought—"

"Neither did
I
. It's even more important for a sub though." He pulled the sheets up off the mattress and hugged them around me. "You worked up quite a sweat."

I pressed a hand to my forehead. "I did?"

"Yup.
Happens a lot during pain play."

"And the blood sugar?"

"Same reason.
I really should've asked before we started playing. I really needed this." He reached into the nightstand and handed me a chocolate mint. "It'll help."

Popping the mint in my mouth, I sucked on it. "I needed it just as much, I think. Still do actually."

He frowned. "Not tonight. I know you feel okay right now with a little water in you, but it's just your first time. I want us to take things slow."

I blinked at a sudden wave of tears. "But we only have until the end of the week."

"Oh, baby..." He bushed a thumb against my cheek. "That doesn't mean play has to end. It's just the timeframe I thought we'd need for you to get used to the idea."

"What now?"

"Well," Daniel began, helping me up. "Given how unsteady you are on your feet, I'm either going to have to cuff you to the cross and hose you down, or bring you into the shower with me."

"I vote option B."

He held an arm around my waist.
"Me too."
Making sure I wouldn't fall, we started to make our way across the room. "We'll get some real food in you after we get you washed up.
This way."

Even as he guided me into the bathroom, my mind was still back in the playroom with my body hanging from the cross. I was upset I couldn't feel that numbing sensation a little while longer. I could've sworn I was getting close to ... what?
Subspace?
I didn't know. What I did know was how freeing it felt right before the dizzy spell forced my knees to buckle.

Next time.
Next time, I'd be ready.

 

 

Chapter Nine

 

"On your knees."

Daniel's terse command did little for my nerves and only added to the tension I'd felt since he walked in the door not ten minutes earlier. There was no slow introduction. No question on if we were going to do this or not.

It was Friday night, and the last day of my submission before going back to work. As he ushered me down the hall toward the playroom, we dumped clothing wherever we could.
A shirt on the table.
A pair of slacks on the back of a chair.
It didn't matter where the clothing ended up, just so long as we weren't wearing it.

My back was stiff from the gentle flogging I'd received just a few days ago, so when Daniel ordered me to my knees, I started to wonder if he was going to flog me at all.

Hyperaware of the cuffs on my ankles and wrists, I bowed my head and held my arms behind my back. The air in the room grew still, and every nerve ending in my body jumped to high alert.

"This won't do," Daniel said with disgust, removing the choke chain from around my neck. He tossed it to the floor and grabbed my chin. "You've done well. I honestly didn't expect you to get this far, but you still have a lot to learn. And until you do, I'll be keeping the collar to myself. Want it?" He gestured to the chain that he'd thrown carelessly to the ground. "Then prove it." He let me go, but his eyes never left mine. "You've had a taste of the lifestyle, and tonight, I'm going to make sure you remember it. Now, tell me your safe words."

My heart fluttered. My throat closed around my windpipe. The room was starting to spin, but it wasn't from low blood sugar.
Not this time.
In fact, it probably never was. Given how it kept happening no matter how well I took care of my body, I bet it was my submission that gave me those delirious dizzy spells.
Subspace.
It was the only explanation available, and the only one I needed.

"Tell. Me." Daniel tightened his jaw.

"Yellow," I began, trying to catch my breath.
"Yellow to slow down."

"And?"

"Red, Master ... red to stop."

He pressed down on the back of my head so I was staring at the floor. He was done talking. All that remained was what he'd do next. Conditioned not to watch him as he did his best to intimidate me, I closed my eyes. I eased my heart rate to an acceptable level, but any time I heard his shoes scuff the floor, the erratic beats returned.

Callused fingertips brushed against my neck, slowly moving toward my collarbone.
My shoulders.
My neck.
I shivered when a chill raced down from the top of my spine, causing my nipples to perk from the otherwise still atmosphere.

Daniel made a sound that was a cross between amusement, approval and something else I couldn't place. Rolling my shoulders back, I worked out the tension before it could become painful. I corrected my posture when his hand pressed against my back, but there was only so much time I could spend on my knees before my legs started to complain as well.

"We're all about pushing boundaries."

It was something Daniel had said earlier in the week, and that included endurance. If Maddie and her partner were able to do it, then so could I.

Wincing from the coarseness of the towel beneath my knees, I widened my stance, hoping to entice Daniel for another look.
A touch.
The feel of skin on skin.
He pushed my hair over one shoulder, carefully planting kisses along the back of my neck. Every intimate touch made my hairs stand on end.

He lifted my chin. Put his lips to mine.
Licked at the seam between them with the tip of his tongue, never forcing them to open.
Always there.
I started to sway to one side when he parted my lips, sucking the air right from my lungs as we started to levitate off the ground.

I moaned into his kiss and thrust against him when his fingers found my clit. He smiled and drew circles around it, increasing the pressure and speed with each pass.

"Mmm," he groaned, pulling away from me. "Wet for me already?"

I swallowed hard and clamped my legs shut.

His lips were on mine in an instant, and as we kissed lazily, he urged my legs apart, continuing his work on my clit. I gasped for breath and threw my arms around his neck, completely forgetting where I was or what I was supposed to be doing.

Daniel's gentle stokes stopped. "Are you allowed to touch?" He grabbed at my wrists.

"N-no, Master." I stared down at the floor.
Not without your permission.

"Stand up."

There was no praise. No words of encouragement.
Just crude, harsh orders that felt just as cold as he did.
It's part of his game.
It had to be. I'd seen him go from Dom-mode to concerned partner in .1 seconds. There was no way he was just doing this for his pleasure alone.

"You still have a lot to learn."

It was one of the first things he'd said at the beginning of our session, and I didn't doubt it. I just didn't expect our lessons to go from beginner to intermediate in the blink of an eye.
Training's over, remember?
It was our last session. He had no choice. And the way he acted just then gave a whole new meaning to tough love.

Standing without his help, I waited for his next order.

"Get over to the cross," he said, his voice cracking the slightest bit.

I turned for the cross and froze. Well aware of the marks on my back, I was pretty sure striking them before they'd fully healed was out of the question. But then why use the cross?

"I don't think—"

"On the cross.
Now."

My skin crawled, not from the words so much as the way he'd said them.
Unfeeling.
Empty.
You have your safe words—
I refused to use them. He hadn't hurt me. This was just another one of his mind games. And it was working. Good,
God,
was it working.
Your mind's completely fucked.
Pretty soon I'd lose my sense of direction. He hadn't blindfolded me yet, but I knew it was coming. It always did.

Getting as close to the cross as I could, I lifted my arms, holding my breath when Daniel clipped them to the chains provided. Next, he cuffed my ankles, and that was a new sensation entirely. The last time we used the cross, only my arms were bound. This time, I couldn't move at all.

I was completely exposed. Standing with my legs splayed almost as wide as they could go, Daniel was able to come from any direction without my knowing it until it was too late.

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