Striker (Black Rebel Riders' MC Book 4) (2 page)

1

A year and a half later…

Striker

There is something to be said about a woman wearing nothing but a black leather bikini and black stilettos—sinfully sexy. My mouth is practically watering as I take in the sight before me. My brother smacks me hard across the chest, "Stop drooling, we are here to work, not eye-fuck the help."

"Fuck, Rebel, don't mean I can't appreciate the view. I’m not an owned man like you." I'm single; Baby has made it clear she doesn't want me. I am free to do as I please with whomever the fuck I please and right now, this delectable blonde modeling for the calendar we are having made up for some charity Sunshine is crazy about is looking like she will do just fine. She has legs for days, a nice rack, and a pinchable ass I could sink my teeth into. She is laying across my bike, head thrown back, back arched, knees bent—just thinking of her lying on my bed in that position is sending my mind places. That is until I hear her voice—Baby is here, like I could forget her. Grim made her the manager over the garage. I suppose he has sensed the tension between Baby and me. Nevertheless, it has been three months and twenty-five days since I broke her heart for the last time. I have been trying to make it up to her every day since. I fucked up royally. Not like, it is a shocker, but I have managed to stay sober, so that is something in my favor.

"Good morning Rebel." She kisses him on the cheek and glares in my direction. Shit, I didn't even do anything to her it's only nine A.M. Damn it, she must have heard Rebel telling me to stop salivating over the model. Baby continues walking to the office. I can't help but stare at her ass until she disappears behind the door, slamming it shut with more force than necessary. She does look good this morning. Having Colt did her body good, not that she'd let me find out just how much good it has really done for her.

All lot of shit has changed this past year. After the fed scare with Lucky and all of the manure that went down with Rush and the Rejects, Grim is taking the club in a new direction—we are going straight. He and Romeo found an investor who can give us the capital and credentials to make our moonshine legal. Grim and Romeo are gone now to a meeting in Tennessee to work out the logistics. I won't have much to do with that side of things the garage is my responsibility. Rebel will have to deal with the shine business. 

Having Baby here all of the time is becoming a real distraction. I am pathetic, I have her every move down to a science. I know how often she goes to the bathroom for Christ sake. Trying to push her out of my mind, I take out my sketchpad and work on the paint design for a custom chopper we are building for a weekend warrior.

I remember the first time I ever laid eyes on Baby, it was the night she was born, it sounds strange, but at the age of four, I knew I already loved her and that I would do anything to protect her. My father came rushing through the door shouting for my mother. He was holding a wailing baby in his arms; she was bloody and screaming so loud. Rebel was scared of the blood, but not me, I knew she needed me.  As my mother cradled her and cooed over her, I stood watching over her. I vowed to myself then and there that I would always protect her.

For the first few months, I remember waking up to check on her every night. She was a sad baby; it was as though she knew her mother was gone and never going to hold her. Grim deserted her too, he couldn't bear to look at her, every time he saw her, he'd get this far off sad look in his eyes.

**

Baby walks past my brother and I ignoring my existence, which will be harder for her to do in a few weeks when we have to get together to go over the budget, inventory, and the schedule.

Baby stops and turns to Rebel. "Are you and Rumor going to keep Colt next weekend, I have a date."

I roll my eyes at her blatant attempt to make me jealous. "I could keep him." I offer knowing it will piss her off, but I really would love to get to know him better.

Colt is a very sore subject for me. Baby has refused to allow me any contact with him, other than the occasional visit he pays to my mom's house. Foxie keeps him for Baby when Sunshine or Rumor can't. No one knows he is my son and it kills me. Rumor and Rebel have their suspicions but I won't betray Baby again. If and when the time comes that she will let me in, I don't want to give her anything to hold against me, more than she already has. The kid barely knows who I am, let alone the fact that I am his true father.

"I wasn't talking to you was I?" She scoffs and picks invisible lint from her jeans. God I love when she wears those jeans, they hug her ass and hang low on her hips exposing just a hint of her creamy skin.

"I wish the two of you would just go upstairs to fuck already. Fuck, ya'll are killing me." Rebel scratches the back of his neck, turning away from us pretending the photographer needs him.

She follows Rebel uncomfortable with his words. "Are you going to watch him or not?"

But it's true. If she'd give me one night to make things right she'd never want for anything again. I want to give her everything she has ever dreamed of, but there are things about me Baby doesn't know. She got a taste of what I like the night she walked in on me, but that night was tame compared to others.

Aspen had come home for the weekend; I hadn’t seen her in months. We got to talking and drinking, we ended up in bed together. Baby just happened to walk in at the worst possible time. I don’t know if she will ever forgive me for that night.

My attention is brought back to the present as Sunshine comes into the garage pushing the one thing that is most precious to me in his stroller, Colt.  Baby is back in the office and Sunshine is talking to Rebel. I take the opportunity to get a moment with my son. "Hey buddy, are you being good for Sunshine?"

He stretches his tiny hand out to mine and wraps all of his fingers around my thick thumb. He babbles at me.  I scruff his red hair up a little and he reaches for me to pick him up.

"I think he has your eyes," the model whom introduces herself as Kelli says rather observantly.

"You think so?" I shrug, leaning down to pick Colt up. It's the first time anyone has told me that, it makes my heart swell with pride and tears. I wish I could introduce him as my son.

"Yeah, you are both handsome," she winks at me. I think she is trying to flirt with me, but I don't even care now, that I have my boy to myself for a minute. “How old is he?” She questions making light conversation.

“He’s about...” I pause adding it up in my head. “I’d say he is seven months now.”

Right about the time I am turning to walk away from Kelli, Baby steps out from the office having heard Colt giggling no doubt.  She stalks towards me with that look on her face that tells me it pains her to see us together. Baby holds her hands open, she plasters a fake smile on for Colt as she squeals, "come to momma, baby boy."

"I was just telling your old man here how much his boy looks like him." Kelli smiles at Baby trying to be friendly and make polite conversation.

"He's not my old man, and he is not his father," Baby sneers at her, jerking Colt from my hold. Baby is a good mom. I'll give her that. You can tell Colt is well taken care of he always has a smile on his face. He has Baby's light skin and red hair but other than that, the kid is me made over.

“Punishing me isn’t going to bring him back ya know.” I know it’s a low blow, but it is true. Baby holds me responsible for Trouble’s death and a part of me does too, but I know I can’t change it and he’d want her to be happy. He would want her to be with me; why else would he have said and done, what he did in the moment that changed so many things. Tears well up in the corners of Baby’s eyes, fuck, I scratch my neck, I did not mean to make her cry. I just wanted to show her how unreasonable she is being.

Kelli looks to me and I just shake my head and leave Baby to pay her for the day. I don't know how much more I can take of watching my son from the shadows.

Baby

I don't know why I allow my father to torture me by forcing me to manage the garage.  He acts all innocent but I know he has some weird idea that Striker and I somehow belong together, who would have thought he’d be playing matchmaker.  Striker has had plenty of chances to prove to me that he wanted to be a dad. He blew them all. I never dreamed that Striker would hurt me the way he has. Growing up he was always there for me, promising me the world if I wanted it, until he met Aspen.

I never knew I could feel the way I do about him, I love him and hate him with every breath he takes. He gave me Colt; he just couldn't give me his heart. Maybe it is unfair to hold the things that I do against him, but he cost me Trouble and my one chance to have a man who would be true to me. I know Trouble would have never broken my heart; he would have been mine 'til the day I died. However, I'll never have that. Trouble is gone my heart is broken. Love either grows or it dies and I am afraid the love I have felt for Striker has died completely.

I went to Striker one night…well a few months after Colt was born; I was ready to discuss our son with him.
When I got to his apartment, the door was cracked, I started to knock, but the door fell open. Letting myself in I went to look for him and that is when I heard the moans coming from the bedroom. I couldn't help myself; curiosity got the best of me as my feet carried me mindlessly forward.

I stopped just outside of the bedroom, the room we made Colt one fateful night. The moans were louder, they were lustful, sinful even. Peeking around the entryway, I could not believe my eyes. There he was and he obviously wasn't alone. Striker had Aspen bent over the bed fucking her from behind; his head was thrown back as he pumped her ferociously. Her arms were bound behind her back and he was holding them in place, it was so erotic. He spanked her ass, repeatedly. She was loving every second of it too. My gaze traveled forward, a part of me liked watching him, seeing his muscles tense, and flex covered in sweat.

My eyes roamed over his tattoos stopping short when I took in what was now covering most of his back. He had a tattoo I had never seen before; it was of a beautiful magnolia tree, just like the one we had planted as kids. It was beautiful. I wanted to run my fingers across it, Aspen here or not, I wanted to touch it, but I managed to keep my feet planted. As ashamed as I was for intruding, I kept watching unable to turn away, wondering what it would be like if it were me with him instead.

Heat flushed my cheeks, but then he collapsed falling over her, pressing her down in the bed telling her how much he loved her. My heart couldn't take it. Hearing him whisper the things, he once said to me, all of the color vanished from my face. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to hit her; my legs wouldn't carry me out of that room.

My head was spinning as I sunk to the floor. What was left of my heart, retreated deep within the walls I was trying to let down tonight. I knew immediately that there would only ever be one man to have my heart—my son. I don't know how long I sat there unable to breathe, unable to feel anything, until Striker was crouched, down in front of me wearing a pair of shorts. He was caressing my cheek as the tears fell from my face. Aspen was nowhere to be seen, I didn't remember hearing her leave. Was she still there? I didn't care if she was.

"Don't touch me," I flinched from his guarded expression.

"Baby, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say. You never called me; you won't let me near you or Colt. I don't know what you want from me." He sat in front of me waiting for me to tell him something. I wanted him to shake me, to grab me—kiss me—fuck me like he did her, to tell me he didn't love her–that I owned every piece of him, mind body and soul, like he owned me. I wanted him to say we would work things out, that he wanted to be a dad. However, those words never left his lips. 

Wiping my eyes with the back of my hand, I mustered up the courage to tell him to fuck off. It about killed me but I did it. "I don't want anything from you; you aren't ready to be what I need you to be. Stay away from me, stay away from my son. We don't want you or need you in our lives."  I walked out of there with my head held high.

It would have been easy for me to turn my back on Colt like my father did me; I was consumed with grief for Trouble and for what Striker and I would never be. Colt was my saving grace. If it weren't for that precious baby boy, I don't know what would have happened to me. I poured myself into being the best mom I could and going to school. I enrolled in a night class majoring in business.

I hear my boy now. His giggles melt my heart. Walking from the office, my heart stops and then it drops to the floor bleeding out as I take in the sight of Striker holding Colt in his arms flirting with Kelli. She is from one of my classes. I didn't get her this job so she could flirt. I got her this job to help her; she is a single mom too. Maybe I was wrong in trying to be nice to her.

No, I am being jealous, where I don't have the right to be. When I see him holding Colt, all of those old feelings start bubbling under my skin. As fast as they surface, I pop them and shove them deep in the back of my mind. I put on my best face for Colt and take him from Striker. 

"I was just telling your old man here how much his boy looks like him." Oh God, does she think Striker, Colt, and I are a family… This can't be happening if a stranger can see it; does that mean everyone else does too? Does my father know, is that why he is forcing me to work here?

"He's not my old man, and he is not his father," I snap at her. I know I shouldn't lash out at her, but the alternative is jumping down Striker's throat and I don't want to fight with him in front of Colt.