Striker (Black Rebel Riders' MC Book 4) (13 page)

19

Baby

I just got out of my night class and I am headed up the stairs to my apartment. I can hear Striker yelling at someone but can’t make out the words. He better not be yelling at Colt. I open the door and Striker and Diamond are having a heated conversation.

“Why didn’t you show today? I waited for you.”

“What the fuck is this shit?” I demand, hands on my hips. ‘”Where’s my son?”

“Colt’s fine I put him to bed about thirty minutes ago.” Striker answers with so much emotion laced in his voice.

“Why is this whore here?” I demand.

“Because I’m pregnant with his child.” Diamond admits and my world comes to a halt.

“Is it yours?’ I demand and Striker won’t look at me, shame is covering his face.

“Not sure,” he whispers looking pained to admit the dirty truth.

I go straight into the bedroom and take Colt from his peaceful slumber. He doesn’t even wake as I walk briskly out the door. Striker is following me as I run down the stairs with tears in my eyes.  Diamond is watching us from the balcony wearing a smug smile on her face. I walk straight to my sister’s house and use the spare key to unlock the door. Rebel is in the kitchen fixing a sandwich. He looks at my face and I know he knows what is causing my pain. I am too upset to be angry with him too.

Rumor walks into the kitchen and quietly takes Colt from my arms as Striker runs in behind me. He wraps his arms around me as I try to fight and push him away. “Let me explain.” He growls trying to man handle me. I spit in his face.

Rebel pries Striker’s hands from my wrist. “Let her go man. You don’t want to do this shit like this.”

“Go back to your whore.” I seethe with rage. “So help me if you don’t get away from me, I will kill you Striker.”
Thwack
. I smack him across his mouth and he doesn’t even flinch.

“I just want to talk to you!”

“Nothing more to say. Go start you a new family with that skank. Get a good look at your son. Last time you are going to see him.” I push him away once more.

“Baby, don’t say shit like that, you don’t mean it. I know you are pissed I get it, but we love each other.” He tries to touch me again. I can’t even look at him right now.

“Apparently not enough.” I throw my hand up in the air.

I see a shadow on the porch. Throwing open the front door Diamond is standing there looking proud of herself. I don’t even think about her being with child when I backhand her across her cunt-whore face.

She laughs at me. Actually fucking laughs at me.

“Baby stop.” Striker grabs my hand stopping me from hitting her again. “She’s pregnant,” he says in an ashamed whisper.

“Her face isn’t.” I spin around facing him. “Choose right now. What is it going to be? Her or us. I won’t raise your bastard child from a whore.”

“You’re not being fair.” He looks defeated.

“I guess I have my answer.” I walk into the house, shutting the door and locking it behind me.  I lock myself in the bathroom and have a good crying, shouting match with myself while my sister takes care of my son. See just like my fucking mom, no bright side. Striker’s timing could not be worse. This weekend is my sister’s wedding. I can’t go back home to my dad’s. If he asks I will just say I am staying here to help prep for the wedding. I’m too ashamed to hear I fucking told you so. He warned me about Striker and Rebel when I was a teen.

When I get calmed down Rumor and Rebel both try to rationalize with me. But I really don’t want to hear any of it. He made a child with her, I can’t turn a blind eye to that. I would never be mean to his kid, but I can’t do it. I will not. The thought makes me want to throw up.  Why didn’t he tell me, and how long has he known this shit?

Striker

Colt has been wearing me out this evening.  I have been trying to get him to stand on his own. He keeps plopping back down in the floor on his butt. I get him fed and fix myself a bite to eat. Little mean ass pissed all over my hand when I was giving him a bath. I had to let the water out and start over again.

I just laid Colt down for bed. I am waiting for Baby to get home from class. We have settled into a comfortable routine. I thought getting used to having her and Colt here all the time would be hard, but it’s been nice. There is a knock on the door. If I had been smart, I would have checked to see who it was before answering. Fucking Diamond.

“What do you want?” I groan. As she pushes her way inside.

“You missed my appointment,” she whines.

“And?” I know what I said about being there for Diamond, but I don’t know if I can go through with taking her to her appointments and shit. I’ll give her money but I am not even her friend. The situation is fucked up. I feel bad for the girl I do, but I have a family to think about too.

“You weren’t there I waited for you.” She shouts.

“Keep it down, going to wake my son.” I yell at her telling her how she has no business showing up here unannounced. What if Baby had been home? I still haven’t figured out how to tell her about this. It’s going to crush her.

“What the fuck is this shit?” Baby storms through the door looking confused. Oh, fuck. Here we go. ‘”Where’s my son?” She demands in a clipped tone. I answer her telling her Colt is sleeping.

“Why is this whore here?” She demands once more

“Because I’m pregnant with his child.” Diamond answers for me.  I have to tell her the baby might be mine and she is now lost to me hearing the words leave my lips. I am going to be sick. The look on Baby’s face is pure shock. She takes off down the hall. I don’t know what she is doing. She could be getting a gun to shoot me for all I know. My feet are planted until she walks by me with tears in her eyes carrying our sleeping child.

I don’t give Diamond a second thought as I follow Baby down the stairs, not clear on where she is intending to go.

She makes her choice going to my brother’s place. I follow behind her fighting her every breath begging her to let me explain but she isn’t having it. She spits on me and hits me and I take it, because I deserve it. This isn’t how I planned on telling her. I know I should have told her sooner, but I just didn’t know how.

Rebel intercepts stopping either of us from doing anything more than we will regret. Baby is threatening to take Colt away from me. I know she is upset but she isn’t being fair. She hasn’t given me one chance to explain at all.

She rushes out onto the porch. I follow but not fast enough, as Baby smacks Diamond. “Baby stop.” I grab her hand stopping her from hitting her again. “She’s pregnant,” I admit in a husky whisper.

“Her face isn’t.” She spins around looking me dead in the eye. “Choose right now. What is it going to be? Her or us. I won’t raise your bastard child from a whore.”

“You’re not being fair.”

“I guess I have my answer.” She locks me out of the house leaving me on the porch with Diamond.

“Striker I’m so sorry.” She starts apologizing trying to follow me home.

“Stay the fuck away from me, you’ve done enough damage.” I leave her at the bottom of the stairs and storm up them. I slam the door shut, rattling the pictures on the walls Baby recently hung of Colt. “Damn it!” I punch the wall in the kitchen.

Romeo

I’m lying in Smoky’s bed at the Fox’s Den, she snuggles into my chest and I rub smoothing circles on her back. “Did she suffer?” I ask not sure if I want to know.

“No. So, you are safe now. They can’t charge you with anything?” She kisses my hand. “What are you telling your children?” She is getting too personal for my liking.

“Nothing to tell them. She’s gone, don’t need to remind them.” I try not to think of it myself but it had to be done. LL put everyone I love at risk. I couldn’t stand for that. LL never woke to sign her statements now they are void. Smoky made sure of it, I don’t know how she did it, just that she did. I should be remorseful that LL is dead and gone, but the ugly true side of me doesn’t give a fuck. Bitch became dead to me the minute she gave me up for heroin and to the FED to beat it all.

I got a call earlier today from the hospital that my wife had passed. I didn’t even show to claim her body, no need in seeing her again. Told them to cremate her, don’t care what they do with her after that. “Just need that motherfucking gun, but nothing to concern yourself with. It is what it is.”

“If I could think of a way to get it for you I would. I’d do anything for you. You know that right?” Smoky saved my club by doing what she done. I owe her for that. Not sure how to repay her, but I will. I know she thinks it secured her a place by my side, but she isn’t wife material. Only person I would put my brand on is Baby and I can’t have her. Wouldn’t be fair for Smoky or Baby to be saddled with raising my kids while I am doing time.

“I know you would sweetheart. I appreciate that” She kisses me softly, then roughly.

In a week’s time, I will have turned myself in for the killing of Winston Rush. The boys in blue may get my brothers someday but it won’t be by my hands. They keep trying squeeze information from me, but I am no rat.

If I could get my hands on that gun, nothing would matter. As long as Grim does not turn a deal with Gary, they will not get us there either.

“Does talking about it upset you?” She looks at me with a sadness of her own in her eyes.

“Not really, does that make you think I’m a bad man?” I feel like an unfeeling bastard.

“I think you are the sort of man that will do anything to protect what he loves, nothing wrong with that.”

“You never told me why you came here.” A thought crosses my mind, something I never thought of until now. This bitch didn’t show up until shit went south in my life. What if she is a motherfucking FED? What if she is playing me for more dirt to take me down with?

“I came here when shit in my old club got too fucking rough. Trust me it takes a lot to scare me, but what Hangman did put the fear of GOD and the devil and all of their soldiers in me. If the devil is a living and breathing man on earth, his name is Hangman.” I can see the fear in her eyes as she talks about it.

“The Untamed Angels?” Them motherfuckers are brutal.

“Yeah, but I don’t want to talk about those scary bastards.” I hope to God that whatever brought her here doesn’t bring Hangman knocking on our backdoor.

She slides down and goes to work sucking my dick. Her tongue glides up and down my cock, swirling it round and round. Her tender fingers stroke and tease my balls. Her head bobs up and down taking all I have to give.

“Mm, I love having your big cock in my mouth,” she slurps. I roll over top of her and lay into her cunt. I wrap my hands around her throat as she thrashes beneath me. I could choke her out right now, and no one would ever know what she did for me. I look down at her; her red hair is covering her face reminding me of Baby. I let go of her throat as she gasps for her next breath.

“Damn, that was the most erotic orgasm I have ever had,” she whispers.

My fingerprints are wrapped around her neck.

Smoky does have her uses and she was right, she can set a dick on fire with that pussy of hers.

After I leave Smoky snoring in her bed I walk down the hall to Foxie’s office.  I knock on the door and hand her the papers that make the Fox’s Den completely hers.

“What’s this?” She looks at me confused by the papers on her desk.

“Place is yours, don’t say I never did you any favors.”

“Where’s LL?” She follows me into the hall.

“None of your concern. We’ve been friends a long motherfucking time Foxie, let’s not change it by you asking questions you don’t really want the answers to. Feel me?”

“We’ve got a lot of secrets between us, Romeo. We both know how to keep our mouths shut. I won’t change that now. But I must say you and Striker have similar taste in women. He is a lot like you, ya know.”

“We agreed, his father was and always will be Slim, don’t be going back on your word now after twenty-five years.”

“I’m not I just see the resemblance in the things you do is all.” She shrugs. 

Foxie surprises the hell out of me, giving me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. She thanks me for the deed. She asks if there is anything, I want from LL’s office. I tell her the only thing that bitch ever had that I want is my kids and I already have them.

Well other than Striker, still don’t know if that boy is mine, but that is a secret Foxie and I both swore to take to the grave. At the time, it was what was best for the club and for us. Foxie and Slim was having a rough time. LL had left me for Chicago. We had one night where we were both weak. We gave into our hurt and desire. For one night, we were free. It wasn’t about love it was lust and revenge. I haven’t thought about that night since until tonight and I won’t think of it ever again.

20

Baby

My week has consisted of avoiding everyone and throwing myself into making sure my sister’s wedding is something to go down in the history books for her. She deserves this more than anyone I know. After everything she endured, to see her getting her happily ever after helps close the hole in my heart but not by much.

Striker has sent me countless messages telling me that he is sorry. He has begged me to sit down and talk to him but I can’t face him yet. The moment the words I’m pregnant left Diamond’s lips my heart felt like it had been sliced open by the ugly truth, bleeding my love for Striker dry.

“You look beautiful, like a biker fairy tale princess.”  I look over at my sister, as she gets ready to become a top bitch. She looks stunning. Her strawberry blonde hair is pinned on top of her head, in curls. Her dress is red satin. She didn’t want a traditional gown. It isn’t long either it stops right above her knees. Rebel is going to be putty in her hands tonight. Just wait until he gets a good look at her heels. Their wedding colors are black, red and grey—Black Rebel Rider colors.

Grim steps forward to take her arm. He is walking her down the aisle.  Dawn and Jamie are serving as ring bearer and flower girl. Sunshine is on baby duty sitting up front with Colt and Miracle with Romeo’s sister next her. That woman is a piece of work. I don’t even know why she is here tonight considering she doesn’t like us, thinks we are all just hillbilly biker trash.  Glancing through the church doors I see Striker standing beside of Rebel, they both look equally handsome, but the sight of Striker in that suit astounds me.

It could be me walking the wedding march into his arms if it weren’t for life always stepping in our way. Why can’t men seem to keep their dick in their pants? I shake my head, as I prepare to take my turn walking down the black carpet.  I look over my black satin dress and check my heels. I am good.

Holding my head up high, I make my way through the march without making eye contact with Striker, though I can feel his gaze burning straight through me. Instead of the wedding march, Rumor is walking down the aisle to ‘Dust to Dust’ by ‘The Civil Wars,’ a favorite of hers. My father has a tear in his eye as he gives her away. Foxie wipes the corners of her eyes with a tissue, as she watches her son become a husband. I snicker on the inside taking in how she is dressed. She looks like a normal momma on a wedding day, wearing a grey wrap dress, but she is still stunning.

Rebel says his vows, it sounds so strange hearing his Christian name. “I Christopher Black, take you, Sarah Johnson, to be mine. I claim you as my one and only. I promise to always come home to you, putting no other before you, as long as we both shall live.”

Rumor continues repeating the vows. Striker is staring at me and I can’t escape him, his eyes are holding me hostage. The intensity of his gaze is enough to bring tears to my eyes. I know there is something between us, but I want to know that he loves me for me, not because he feels obligated because I am the mother of his son. I know he feels that same obligation to Diamond and it kills me. Thinking of him possibly having a family with her instead of me terrifies me that because of my selfishness I have lost him for good. But I can’t look the other way to what he has done either.

I continue to go through the motions, being the perfect bridesmaid. No one the wiser to the war that’s waging inside of me. All of these thoughts of him, what I want, what I need, I crave him, his touch—they all consume me. I smile and walk at the appropriate times. I pose for all the pictures, even the ones where he is near, I plaster on my smile. Today is Rumor’s day. It is not about me.

**

The reception is in full swing at the Roadhouse. Rebel and Rumor have just cut their three-tier black skull cake adorned with red roses. I am standing off to the side taking it all in. My sister looks so happy. I watch as Rebel smashes cake in her face and licks it from her nose.  “Get a room,” I hear my dad shout humorously.

Striker has somehow appeared next to me; he grabs my hand and kisses it tenderly. “Come on.” He tries to take me to the dance floor. I stop him and shake my head no. I see my father watching us curiously. I don’t want to cause a scene.

‘Howie Day’s’ song ‘Collide,’ begins to play. “It’s just one dance. I’m not asking.” Striker pulls me onto the floor and wraps his arms around me tight. I feel like I cannot breathe. It’s too much. It’s too hard being this close to him, smelling his cologne, feeling his arousal through his trousers. I bite my lip, pulling away trying to put some distance between us, but he only holds me tighter—harder. 

“Just dance with me,” he whispers into my neck. His touch is hard to resist. His scent calls to me begging me to yield to him, but I can’t. I will not allow him to hurt me again. His lips brush over my ear, sending tingles all through me. My body is a traitor. I lean into him letting him whisper all the things I have longed to hear leave his lips.

“Baby, don’t fight me. Give me a chance. I fucking love you, no one else. I have never cared for another the way that I do you. Just fucking love me back.” He pulls back staring deep inside of me, and I know I want him— I am just scared.

“I’m scared.” I admit in a hushed breath as a tear leaks from my eye.

“I won’t hurt you.” The music has stopped and changes to something more upbeat. “Can we go somewhere and talk?’ He asks hopeful.

“I have to get back to Colt.”

“Bring him with you.”

“It’s not a good idea.”

“Fuck, Baby just go over there to Sunshine and get our son. All of this shit ends tonight. You belong with me, you and Colt are mine, and I am done giving you your space. You’ve got five minutes, be ready to come home with me.”

“I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?” he asks in a defeated tone, he won’t even look at me. I leave him wounded in the middle of the room. I’m just not ready. I can’t just step straight into a relationship with him. I have changed hell we both have. I know he isn’t with Diamond, but I can’t spend the next twenty years having to look at his child with her.  I rush out the back of the Roadhouse and crash straight into Romeo.

Romeo takes me in his arms. "I've had you on my mind since the night you gave yourself to me. You are all I think about. I know it's wrong to want you, to want to possess you, to lick you from motherfuckin' head to toe. I want to devour every fucking inch of you, to consume you, to where you no longer feel whole."

My breathe catches in my chest, choking me. What did he just say? He doesn’t give me time to respond as his lips crash into mine.

That kiss was not just any kiss it was a kiss that says I fucking own you and I will devour you.

“Just give me tonight Baby.” He grabs my hand and leads me upstairs to his room. I know this a bad idea. But right now I want to escape my life. Everywhere I turn, I am reminded of Striker and how much we have hurt each other. I shove Striker and his whore to the back of my mind and concentrate on the man standing before me. Suddenly I feel like that young girl again, intrigued by the older man, intrigued by the way he looks at me, the way he sees inside the darkest pieces of my heart.

“I just want you for tonight. Nothing more.” He claims my mouth, holding the sides of my face with his large rough weathered hands. I allow myself to get lost in this moment as I did years ago. He walks me backwards until the backs of my legs hit his bed. 

“Just for tonight,” I whisper against his bearded mouth. His mustache tickles my nose, but I’m not laughing. He pushes my dress straps down over my shoulders. I unhook them from my arms and he finishes undressing me.

“So beautiful.” He runs his fingers down my bare sides, kissing me sweetly down my neck and across my chest. His facial hair rubbing against me, scraping over my pebbled nipples.

I run my fingers up the inside of the back of his shirt, feeling the contours of his muscular frame. He undoes a few buttons of the white dress shirt and pulls it over his head revealing the sexy older man beneath. Romeo may be a silver devil but he takes care of his body. I plant a kiss on the spider web tattoo covering the side of his neck, taking in his musky woodsy scent.

“I don’t love you,” I admit, demanding him to know.

“Darling this was never about love. Always been about the carnal attraction that draws us near.” He shoves me down on the bed and removes his slacks. “You have no idea of things that go through my mind when I dream of you, of this moment, having you writhing beneath me.”

“Show me,” I order him and he does not hold back.  He kisses me in places I didn’t know could be reached both emotionally and physically. My body trembles and quakes as our bodies slap together. He takes me in every position imaginable— on the bed missionary, on the floor from behind, against the wall my legs around his waist and back on the bed again me on top.

“Fuck me,” he commands as I grind on him. My breasts are smashed against his chest; his sweat is painted on me.

His firm hands are holding me in place as he sits up joining us at the hilt. A moan of ecstasy leaves my lips as I begin to shatter and shake, losing myself completely in his arms.

The door crashes open and all hell breaks loose…

Romeo

I am headed through the back of the Roadhouse to Rebel and Rumor’s wedding reception. Smoky wanted to come as my date but I’m not leading her on any more than I already have. Baby comes rushing through the kitchen nearly taking me out. She has tears in her eyes. I watched her through the whole ceremony looking like she has the weight of the whole world resting on her shoulders.

I can’t stand seeing her looking so broken. I decide what the fuck, my time to see her smile is dwindling down. If she runs away screaming at least I go away knowing I have told her how I feel about her.

I wrap her in my arms and let the truth set me free. "I've had you on my mind since the night you gave yourself to me. You are all I think about. I know it's wrong to want you, to want to possess you, to lick you from motherfuckin' head to toe. I want to devour every fucking inch of you, to consume you, to where you no longer feel whole." I smash my lips into hers and she doesn’t stop me, I kiss her with everything I got. I give her the kiss of a man about ready to lose it all.

“Just give me tonight Baby.” I’m not asking I am telling her. I take her by the hand and lead her upstairs to do the things I have only dreamt of doing to her body.

Baby gives herself to me just as she did years ago, all of her the good, the bad, the ugly, the true. She’s beautiful. I love the way her body curves, the way she looks at me as if I am her savior, even if it is only for tonight. Having her in my arms is the last thing I want before I kiss my life on the outside goodbye. I want Baby to experience what a real man can give her. 

I sweep my fingers over her tears and tell her, “I just want you for tonight.” Though in reality I’d take her forever.

“I don’t love you,” she says. I know she doesn’t.

“Darling this was never about love. Always been about the carnal attraction that draws us near.” I lie and shove her down on the bed. “You have no idea of things that go through my mind when I dream of you, of this moment, having you writhing beneath me.”

“Show me.” I don’t fuck Baby, I make love to her in every position, I can possibly think of. I know she is the last woman I will sleep with. I wouldn’t have it any other way. On the inside, my heart is screaming for me to tell her that I lied and I love her, that I want to make her mine. But my head knows I can’t do that to her.

Baby is on top of me riding me looking like the image of perfection. I swear when she comes for me that I can hear the heavens sing.  The door to my room crashes open...