Still Candy Shopping (20 page)

Ben had found his own way to get food. He learned to make his own paper and buy his own food at an early age.

“Two stacks!” Ben whispered excitedly as he put the rubber band back around the wad of money he had pulled out. Excited about counting his money, he had filtered out the noise coming from his mother’s bedroom for a while. “Gotta get this dope bagged up and hit the block,” Ben said to himself. He wasn’t trying to stay in the house much longer.

“Stupid bitch!” Ben heard Drake yell, once again interrupting his thoughts.

Ben shook his head trying to ignore Celeste and Drake as long as he could. He wondered whatever attracted them to each other. He pulled out a medium sized baggie of dope. Ben had just picked up the bag from Deezo, the dude he sold for and who had told him to go home and bag it up. Deezo had told him to make nicks and dime size bags out of the package.

Ben was excited. He had finally graduated to having his own package and not just doing hand-to-hand for other dudes. He had also moved up from straight cheap ass crack to heroin, which was making a strong comeback in the hood.

“You’re a trifling ass bitch anyway Celeste!” Drake screamed.

“Yeah, and you’re a broke ass nigga with a little ass dick!” Celeste screamed back.

Ben shook his head. He was getting angrier by the minute with all the commotion. “I gotta get outta this house,” he mumbled, getting ready to start bagging his shit so he could bounce. BAM! Ben’s concentration on his task at hand was interrupted. He jumped when he heard something slam.

Ben jumped up. Just then his baby brother, Keon, came waddling into his room. Keon had a look of terror on his face and he threw his arms up for Ben to pick him up.

WHAP! Ben heard another slap. He threw his drugs into an open nightstand drawer and scrambled out of his bedroom, headed for his mother’s room. He ran pass his baby brother, leaving the baby standing in his bedroom whining.

Ben could hear his mother gasping for breath. This nigga is choking her! Ben’s mind raced. He kicked the door again, this time with all his might. The door flew open with a bang and the doorknob hit the wall.

“Get the fuck off my moms, you punk ass nigga!” Ben screamed, grabbing Drake’s shirt. Standing five eleven, Ben was almost as tall as Drake.

“What? Mind your business, this between me and your moms,” Drake barked, shaking himself free of Ben’s grasp as he finally let Celeste go. She was rolling on the bed holding her neck trying to catch her breath.

“Get the fuck outta my crib!” Ben gritted, stepping close to Drake and getting up in his face. “You don’t help out in this place, you ain’t shit. Get the fuck out!”

Drake poked his chest out, equaling Ben’s status. Celeste finally caught her breath and got up to step between them. She didn’t want her son and her baby daddy to fight.

“Wait—” she started to say something, but her words were interrupted. Before she could say another word screams cut through the air. They all froze. Celeste’s eyes stretched wide.

“That’s Keon!” she screamed. They all whirled around. “Keon?” she called out, kicking off her slippers and running towards her boys’ bedroom. Ben was right behind his mother and Drake was on his heels.

“Ahhhhh!” Celeste belted out when she crossed the kids’ bedroom door. The baby was flopping on the floor and foaming at the mouth. His eyeballs were completely rolled up into his head and his body jerked horribly.

“Keon! Oh my God!” Celeste let out a bloodcurdling scream.

“What the fuck!” Drake screamed as well, running over to Celeste and Keon on the floor.

With her hands trembling fiercely, Celeste hoisted the baby’s limp body off the floor. Baby Keon had stopped moving and his eyes were still rolling. White foam continued dribbling out of his lips.

Celeste rose from the floor and started running with Keon still in her arms. There was no phone in the house. “Somebody call 911!” she hollered as she tried rocking the baby back to consciousness. “Keon, wake up baby!” she repeated as she ran towards the front door. “Help me! Oh God! Keon!”.

Drake fumbled with his cell phone, dialing 911 as fast as he could. His car had just got repossessed so they had to wait on 911 to send an ambulance. Celeste was going crazy outside their apartment, with Keon still in her arms.

“Keon!! Wake up baby!” she continued to plead with her baby as she tried shaking him back to life.

Ben was paralyzed with fear.

“What the fuck is goin’ on?” Drake huffed, grabbing Ben by the shoulders trying to find out what happened. “What happened to him?” Drake screamed at Ben.

“I . . . I don’t know,” Ben lied, his eyes opened as wide as they could go.

Drake raced back outside when he heard the ambulance sirens. Ben went back into his bedroom and stood there staring down at the nightstand drawer he had left open. He tightened his fists. Like a robot, Ben reached into the drawer and picked up his baggie of dope. It was more than half empty. In fact, there was just a dusting of the drugs left. It looked as if Baby Keon had spilled the dope, gotten it on his hands and put his hands into his mouth. It was high grade uncut heroin. A small amount of the drug could’ve put a grown ass man six feet under.

Ben was supposed to get fifteen stacks for the bundle he had once he broke it down, cut it and bagged it into nicks and dimes like Deezo had told him to do. Now he had to get rid of what wasn’t spilled out all over the floor. He couldn’t let his mother find out that he had dope in the house and left it around for the baby to get. She would break his neck if she ever knew about it. He started wiping up the rest of the powder with his hands. His heart was racing like crazy and he was sweating now.

“What the fuck I’ma tell Deezo,” Ben whispered to himself. His stomach cramped up. He was thinking about the consequences that might come from Deezo for this one. But he was also very worried about the condition of his baby brother. Ben could hear his mother outside screaming as the ambulance sirens pierced his ears. Ben continued to frantically clean up the powder. He had to get the drugs out of the house right away.

“Ben! What the fuck you doin’? Let’s go, the ambulance just left!” Drake boomed from the doorway.

“I’m not going. I . . . I can’t see him like that,” Ben said nervously.

“Fuck you, lil nigga!” Drake cursed. He didn’t have time to even see what Ben was doing. Drake left and Ben felt like somebody had just kicked him in the heart. He was scared and nervous. He didn’t believe in God, but he started to pray that Keon didn’t die. That occupied one part of his brain. The other part was worried about how he was going to make the money back for the package. Deezo was expecting some loot off the package as well.

When Ben had gotten all of the drugs cleaned up, he left the house. With the money he had counted prior to the incident in his pocket, he hailed a cab and went to the hospital. Ben ran into the emergency room entrance and looked around for his mother and Drake. He spotted Celeste sitting in a chair rocking back and forth and Drake was standing up with a seriously angry look on his face.

“What did they say?” Ben asked his mother nervously. She looked up at him with swollen eyes.

“They are working on him, Ben . . . he can’t die Ben. What happened in there?” Celeste cried, looking at her oldest son pitifully.

“I don’t know,” Ben lied. “I came out there to get this no good nigga off you and I left Keon in the room. I thought he was gonna follow me out the room. I was only gone for a minute, Keon was only in there for a minute.” Ben knew the half-truth had to do, he couldn’t tell his mother the whole story.

Drake was too distraught to even respond to Ben’s smart ass comment about him being a no good ass nigga. Celeste continued to rock, trying to calm herself down. Then she looked up and saw the doctor walking towards them. She stood up, her knees practically knocking against each other.

Celeste exploded into ear shattering screams. “Noooo! Please! God! No!” She doubled over like she had been gut punched. She was in great pain. Ben had tears welling up in his eyes too but he tried to play tough. He wanted to be strong for his mother.

Drake punched the wall, then kicked a waiting room chair. Keon was not Drake’s only baby, but it didn’t matter. He was still feeling hurt over the death of his son.

“Why?” Celeste screamed.

The doctor held his head down. “Ms. Early, we have to do an autopsy since whatever caused the baby’s death happened outside of the hospital. It seemed like the baby’s pupils were severely dilated indicating that he may have ingested something into his system,” the doctor tried explaining through Celeste’s screams.

“Whatcha mean, like he ate some shit that killed him or something?” Drake asked in a gruff tone. That was how he dealt with his grief, he got angry and violent.

“Yes. Like he took in something that poisoned his system or caused him some kind of toxicological shock,” the doctor continued using big words none of them could understand.

Ben was silent. His heart was beating out of control.

“You can see him before we take him down,” the doctor said.

Celeste was so weak she could hardly walk as they all followed the doctor to the room where Keon lay on a small bed. When they walked into the room there were nurses cleaning up all the papers and tubes and mess from where they had tried to work on the baby to save him.

Celeste opened her swollen eyes. “Agghh!” she hollered when she saw her baby lying there. His little eyes were closed and his cherubic face looked like he was just sleeping. Drake and Ben helped Celeste over to the bed. Her knees buckled. “God! Why! Why my baby?” she continued to cry. She reached out and touched him. His skin was still a little warm.

“You can hold him,” one of the nurses said softly.

She picked up Keon’s limp body and handed him to Celeste. Celeste cradled the chubby, lifeless toddler against her chest. “Mmmmm,” she moaned as she rocked her baby back and forth.

Ben stood close, watching, his mind racing with thoughts. It was his fault. If I had just put the drugs away before I left the room, none of this would’ve happened, he thought to himself. Now his brother was dead.

Celeste had to almost be peeled away from her baby. Drake had forgotten all about their fight and Ben just stayed quiet. In his head, he kept blaming himself repeatedly. There was no way he could tell his mother what happened. He knew he had to keep his secret to himself—hopefully forever.

The next day, Celeste was asleep. The doctor had prescribed her a sedative so she could sleep without the memories of Keon keeping her up. The loud knocks on the apartment door stirred Ben from his sleep. Drake had left. He was in and out. He didn’t really live with Celeste and the kids.

Ben jumped up and looked around as the knocking continued. His heart started racing, thinking it might be Deezo looking for him. Ben listened and heard the knocks again. He got completely up and pulled on a pair of basketball shorts. He rubbed sleep from his eyes and made his way to the door. He looked through the peep hole, and felt a sigh of relief when it wasn’t Deezeo.

“Shit,” Ben said under his breath. He walked to his mother’s bedroom, wishing he could undue all of this. Maybe they want to tell her something else, Ben rationalized in his mind. He shook Celeste’s shoulder, but she didn’t budge.

“Ma!” Ben called her and shook her some more.

“Mmm,” Celeste moaned. The sedatives had her in a deep sleep. There was no way with her baby being dead that she would’ve been able to fall asleep.

Celeste forced herself to get out of bed. Feeling tired and depressed, she put on her bathrobe and went into the bathroom. She splashed water on her face and looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were puffy and looked as if somebody had used her as a punching bag. Celeste didn’t care. She could hear the police talking in her tiny living room. She dragged her feet out of the bathroom and went into the living room. Her hair was wild and unkempt on top of her head, and she still looked a little drowsy from the sedatives. “Can I help ya’ll,” Celeste said in a raspy, hoarse voice.

“Ma’am, we need to talk to you about your baby son, Keon Early,” the plain clothed cop stated. “The hospital social worker contacted us today.”