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Braden suddenly wished Wes had another tie on that he could hold him with. “What?” he nudged Wes’s arm. “You mean I’m not special?”

Wes rolled his eyes. “Does that usually work for you?”

“Usually. I have a feeling you’re going to prove me wrong, though.” He hoped Wes wouldn’t, but there was a small part of him who hoped he would. He liked that about Wes. He did what he wanted and said how he felt, and he didn’t give Braden whatever he wanted, the way most people did.

“I just think it’s a waste of breath. Even if I planned to fuck you again, it wouldn’t be with Jessie in the other room.” He could tell Wes wasn’t trying to be a prick with his comment—just being honest, and worrying about his niece.

“I know. Doesn’t mean it’s not a whole hell of a lot of fun to see you fluster, though. I think you need the excitement of having Braden Roth as a friend. You have to admit, I keep things interesting, even if it is just by pissing you off half the time.”

He expected Wes to end the conversation there, but instead he crossed his arms and said, “You flirt and try to fuck all your friends?”

“Nope. Just you.” This time, Wes did pull back. The look in his eyes sobered, and he went toward the kitchen.

Yep, he screwed up again. Open mouth, insert foot. But then, from the other room, Wes asked him, “You want a beer?”

Braden exhaled a breath and realized he would have been upset if he’d fucked this up and had to leave. The fact was, he enjoyed being around Wes. Enjoyed shaking his life up a little. He liked the idea of being the man’s friend. “Sure.”

Wes emerged a few seconds later with two open bottles of Corona. “Come on,” he nodded toward the front door. “Let’s go outside.”

Jock followed them as they went to Wes’s mostly-enclosed front porch. It had a porch swing on one end, and two chairs close to the door. Between the chairs sat an outdoor heater, which Wes turned on.

“Can you just close the screen door? I want to hear Jessie if she gets up,” he asked Braden.

“No problem.”

Jock curled up next to the heater as the two men sat in chairs.
He doesn’t want to be alone,
Braden realized. Wes would never admit it, and hell, maybe he didn’t know himself, but he didn’t want to be alone.

Braden had never in his life known what it felt like to truly be alone. If he felt like being around someone, he called a friend up and made plans. He had a great family that he was close to. People who knew everything about him and accepted him for who he was. Wes had the family who loved him, but he had a feeling Wes struggled to accept it. Those thoughts made him sorry for the man.

“Thanks.” Wes took a drink of his beer. “For bringing Jock and for playing with her out there. She had a blast with you.”

Braden swallowed a mouthful of beer, feeling the warmth spread through him due to Wes’s words. “Eh. It’s just because I’m probably a bigger kid than she is.” He turned Wes’s way. “She had fun with you, too.”

“I need to do that more often.”

Did Wes not think he did enough? “Are you fucking kidding me? She’s probably the happiest kid I’ve seen, and my siblings are working on a football team. I’ve been around a lot of kids. You’re doing great, man. Especially considering everything that’s happened.”

Wes didn’t turn to look at him, just stared through the opening in the porch, into the darkness.

“I built this porch for her. She was always cold, but it got worse when she got sick. She liked to sit outside but didn’t want to always be in the back. She was crazy, used to watch the headlights on the cars that drove by and tried to decide where they were going.” He paused but Braden didn’t speak, knowing Wes would continue when he was ready. “I know it’s random for a porch out here, but I built this so she could be outside but keep warm.”

The pain in Wes’s voice slammed into Braden’s chest. But he felt something else, too—pride. He was honored and surprised that the man would share this with him.

“You put me to shame in the brother department.”

Wes chuckled like Braden hoped he would. They were quiet after that, each taking drinks of their beer. It was Wes who spoke first. “Thanksgiving is in a month...and Christmas. How am I supposed to—” He shook his head. “Never mind.”

“Hey.” He realized it might be a mistake, but Braden reached over and sat his hand on Wes’s arm. “I’m pretty good at keeping my mouth shut when I need to. You can talk to me.” He brushed his thumb over Wes’s arm, enjoying the feel of his heat, his muscles, the tickle of the hair there.

“No, I can’t. It’s not you, though. I don’t talk to anyone.” He pushed to his feet. “I’m going to grab another beer. You want one?”

Braden nodded, knowing that even though it wasn’t much, Wes had just given him something.

***

W
es opened the fridge and grabbed two more beers. Really he just wanted a minute to himself, some space to hopefully make that suffocating feeling in his chest ease up. The holidays—he wasn’t even sure where that thought had come from all of a sudden, or why he shared it with Braden. But the truth was, they did linger around the corner, and he had a little girl sleeping in the other room who he had to make them special for. Who he wanted to make them perfect for.

Another truth singed the edges of that thought. He’d never spent a Christmas with Jessie. He hadn’t spent one with Chelle or Lydia in years. Work was always an excuse. They knew, though. Knew that he’d come to see them less and less, which pretty much made him a bastard.

Wes shook his head. Jesus, he’d been feeling sorry for himself a lot lately. Not just lately; years, it seemed.

After twisting off the lids to their beers, he tossed them into the trash before heading back to the porch. “Here you go.” He handed the bottle to Braden and took the seat beside him.

“It’s relaxing out here.” Braden kicked his feet up and rested them on the railing.

“It is. Would be a nice place to paint.”

Wes felt Braden’s eyes on him, so he turned to face him and made himself grin. “What? That surprises you?”

“Nah. Totally used to you being a completely open book and sharing pieces of your life like that. You paint?”

He remembered Braden’s words from the kitchen the other night, winked, and repeated what he said. “I’m a man of many talents.”

Braden laughed. “Always bustin’ my balls. You’re lucky I like you. Especially when you’re like this.”

Wes almost asked him what he meant but realized he might already know. He wasn’t even sure when the switch had flipped inside him, changing his mood. “You make it easy,” he teased.

“Easy to bust my balls, or it’s easy to be in a good mood around me?” He swallowed a mouthful of beer, looking at Wes over the bottle. The bastard. He had that cocky glint in his eyes, the mischievous curl to his lips. “I think you like me, too. One of these days you’re going to admit it.”

Wes rolled his eyes, realizing he tried to hold back a smile. “Don’t hold your breath.”

“Would you give me mouth-to-mouth?”

He couldn’t fight it this time and let out a chuckle. “Now you’re moving into cheesy territory. You should stop while you’re ahead.” But then, Wes wanted to hold onto the lightness around them, too. Wanted to cling to it for once in his life because it felt a whole lot better than the alternative.

He took another drink. “It’d probably be easier than getting rid of the body.”

Braden let out a loud laugh. “Fucker. I’ll remember that. I guess we should change the subject, then. I wouldn’t want to get too cheesy on you and force you into mouth-to-mouth or digging a hole. When do you start work?”

A little sting of regret burned him at the subject change. “This week. I’m on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays. I’m probably going to have to put Jess in daycare for a couple hours on Wednesdays, which I fucking hate. Lydia works a little later that day. I was hoping to get it off but it would screw up their rotation.” It was another change for her. She’d never been in daycare her whole life. Chelle and Lydia had always been able to work their schedules so they could help each other out.

“Can I ask where her dad is?” Braden leaned forward, rubbing a hand on Jock’s head before sitting back again.

“Died. She couldn’t have been more than a few months old. Life is really fucked up sometimes. She’s not even five and she’s lost both her parents.” He shook his head, set the bottle of beer down, then leaned forward. What was with their family and losing everyone who meant something to them?
Alexander may not have died but he walked away from Wes and never looked back.

Wes tensed when he felt Braden’s hand at the back of his neck. “I work Sunday, Monday and Tuesday.”

Wes turned Braden’s way, the man’s rough hand still against his skin. “I can’t ask you to do that.”

“You didn’t.”

“You can’t want to. That’s a lot of responsibility every week.”

“Are you kidding me? She’s a blast. She just might be the only person who can keep up with me, anyway.”

Braden brushed his finger through the hair at the nape of Wes’s neck, and damned if desire didn’t make Wes’s cock start to rise.

“Say yes.” Braden’s voice went deep. “Don’t overthink it, don’t worry. I’ll take a background check for you if you need me to. I want to help. Just say yes.”

The word “no” sat uncomfortably on his tongue. They didn’t need to intertwine their lives like this. Jessie was his responsibility. But then he thought about how much fun Jess had with Braden. He trusted her with him. He didn’t know if that was the right thing. Would Chelle have trusted him?

He didn’t know about her, but Wes did. “Yes,” he said. Braden nodded. When Wes leaned back, Braden didn’t move his hand. And Wes didn’t tell him to.

“Did she ever watch the sun rise from out here?” Braden asked.

A smile suddenly pulled at his lips. “Yeah. Yeah, she did.”

“When was the last time you watched the sun rise, man?”

Hell, he couldn’t even remember. “I don’t know.”

“Then we’ll do it. No excuses, no reason. We’ll just do it because we can, and because we want to.”

It didn’t matter that he’d been tired earlier, or that they’d be sitting our here for more hours than he wanted to count. He wasn’t sure he’d ever really
wanted
to watch the sun rise before, but suddenly it was important.

“Yeah...yeah, let’s do it.”

There were long periods of quiet, but also talking, too. Wes made coffee, and Braden let Jock out to stretch his legs once or twice.

When the sun peeked out from behind a mountain, pinks and oranges in the sky, he realized why Chelle would sometimes do this. Wished he would’ve done it with her. And glad he’d done it with Braden. No one else would have thought to do something like this.

“Jesus, that’s fucking beautiful.”

“Yeah it is,” Braden replied, and then pushed to his feet. “Now you can say you spent the night with Braden Roth.”

Wes looked up at him. “More like you can say you spent the night with me.”

Braden winked. “Finally.” He turned for the screen door on the porch. “Come on, Jock, let’s go.”

The dog got up and followed him, and Wes watched. Watched until Braden’s truck drove out of sight.

––––––––

A
round five thirty, on the fourth Wednesday that Braden watched Jessie, his phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket to see Wes’s name light up on the screen. He grinned and said, “You’re bringing us dinner, right? I’m exhausted, honey. I don’t know if I can handle cooking tonight. I feel like you’re never home anymore.”

Wes briefly chuckled. “Funny.”

“Made you laugh.” He took it almost as a personal goal to make Wes laugh as much as he could. The man didn’t do it nearly enough. And he
was
pretty good at it.

Wes didn’t reply to his comment, and instead said, “We’re crazy around here. We have a trauma ten minutes out. Anna’s working the ER tonight but she’s not feeling well. She said she could stay until seven when someone gets in to cover for her, but—”

“But you want to help.” He already realized that’s who Wes was. He’d do more for others than he’d do for himself. “It’s cool. We got this. I’ll order a pizza or something.”

“Yay!” Jessie screamed and Braden ruffled her hair.

“Are you sure? Anna can stay if you have somewhere to go. Or I could call Lydia.”

“It’s cool. You’d feel guilty if you left her to work when she didn’t feel well. I have your number, man. We can even pretend it was my idea and you didn’t have to ask if you want.”

Wes paused, which wasn’t a surprise to Braden. He always seemed taken aback when Braden called him on something, when Braden called people on most things.

“I need to get to the ER. I...thanks.”

“No problem. Go save lives. We’ll be here when you get done.” He hung up before Wes could. Braden stood up. “Uncle Wes is going to be a little late, so we’re on our own for dinner tonight. What do you like on your pizza?”

Jessie grinned up at him. “Cheese.”

“And?”

Her nose wrinkled, as though she didn’t know what he meant.

“You only eat cheese on your pizza? You’re missing out, Squirt. Do you trust me?”

Another confused look.

“Never mind. I got this. You’re about to have the best pizza you’ve ever put in your mouth.” Braden made the quick call to order their dinner. They had time to watch a couple episodes of
Tom and Jerry
before the doorbell rang.

After paying, he walked over to the coffee table but Jessie said, “We can’t eat dinner in the living room. Mommy says it’s good to eat dinner at the table.”

Oh. “Cool. We can handle the table.” Wes usually worked six a.m. to six p.m. Braden usually left not long after Wes got home, so he hadn’t done the dinner thing with them except when Jessie was sick. He figured that didn’t really count, though.

“What about the TV? You have to turn off the TV.”

Oh. “Why do we have to turn off the TV?” He set the pizza boxes on the table. All three of them.

“Cuz dinner is to talk. Mommy says that’s when you talk about your day.”

Oh. And yeah, he was fully aware he’d thought
Oh
three times in a row, but often it felt like Jessie was the one watching him. Chelle must have been great. It made sense considering Jessie seemed smarter than any four-year-old he knew. “Sounds good to me.” He gave them each a paper plate, thinking about the fact that Jessie spoke about her mom as though she was still around. “You have to try this: pepperoni, sausage, onion and black olives. I know it doesn’t sound good, but it’s great.”