Starlet's Web (The Starlet Series, #1) (18 page)

Mom smiled at me. “Well, dear, you won't be sued. Congratulations. You'll finish the open commitments we discussed this summer. You do have the Muse commitments, though, for several years, definitely until you are twenty-one. Are you alright with that?”

“Yes. That's fine. I'm just so glad I'm not tied to anything else.”

Celia gaped at Mom intently, non-verbally urging her to say more. When Mom didn't respond, Celia stopped walking, crossed her arms over her chest, and stared at Mom.

Mom looked down, “Marie, you're very tied, handcuffed, trapped, whatever. You are Muse.”

I surveyed them both. Celia remained motionless. There was more. I asked, “I'm a fly trapped in a spider's web?”

Mom answered, “No, you are the web. I'm the spider. Your fans are the flies.”

Celia interrupted, “You're a product, Liana.”

“But I have control now. I can just do Muse, finish the next movie and be done, right?”

Mom put her hand on my shoulder and looked at me again with those guilty, haunting eyes. “You're Muse, in every way. Liana Marie, you'll always be Muse.”

For the first time in years, Mom called me by my first name. “You just called me Liana!”

“That I did. I love you Liana Marie Durglo. I regret that I made you into Muse, spun this web. I'm so sorry.”

“Oh, it's okay, Mom!” I hugged her and then opened my arms to invite Celia into the hug, too. “At least I have more freedom. Thank you, Mom. Thanks, Celia.”

Relief washed over me. I was free to make my own life. I was so happy.

* * * * *

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Manuel's presence calmed me. A simple hug or quick kiss filled me. If I felt low, especially at night after he went to work or went home, I'd text him and he always texted back. I found comfort knowing that he was mine. I'd wake up to my empty house, get a glass of milk and some nuts, and look out my windows at the canyon and ocean. My knowledge that I had a wonderful boyfriend and my appreciation of nature's beauty lifted my spirit.

I was impossibly busy with my exercise regime, school, study, and work. I spent the first week of April doing photo shoots and interviews for the promotional material and ads for
Constantine's Muse.
Magazine covers and interviews to promote the film occupied the second week. Byron kissed me several times with a devilish smile during our more risqué photo shoots for international magazines. We were in character as Muse and Constantine and I was technically not cheating but I felt guilty.

Manuel attended classes, studied, maintained his friendships, exercised, worked, and saw me when he could.

I was not lonely. Simply being in love completed me.

Manuel found me stretching on my terrace. I ran with Elise while he swam in the ocean with Beth. He was wet from a combination of swimming and sweating from his bike ride from the PCH to my house. I liked his smell as he came toward me to hug me. He kissed me briefly on the lips and then chuckled. He tasted of both sweat and salt water. I'm sure I tasted of sweat.

“Sorry my swim took so long. You're drenched.” He asked, “How hard did Elise push you?”

I grinned. “It's no big deal. We did the UCLA loop, down San Vicente Blvd and back up Sunset Blvd. I'm actually quite proud of myself. I averaged 5:40 over the eleven mile loop. She thought I was exaggerating that I was running a five minute mile.”

“Wow. That stretch between Sunset and San Vicente kicks my butt. Good job, Marie.”

“Thanks. Why did your swim take so long?”

“Beth can be so bipolar. I'm not supposed to tell but you're my girl so I'm going to tell. She and Mitch are in love, if you know what I mean, and in typical Beth fashion, she's pushing him away. Dating Beth is a psychological rollercoaster, poor Mitch. He's a saint.”

“She withdraws after she gets intimate?”

Manuel raised his eyebrows and nodded his head. “She does this ego-protection crap when she feels vulnerable. Beth seems strong, self-assured, but all those years of being bullied about her weight made her hide her sensitivity. She's also mad that she didn't get the scholarship to Stanford. Mitch got accepted but doesn't want to go there if Beth doesn't go. Anyway, I talked to her, told her what she's doing. Hopefully she'll apologize to Mitch, grow up.” He put his hand on my shoulder. “I'm so grateful that you tell the truth about how you feel. It's so easy being your boyfriend.”

I walked inside the house and Manuel followed. “I love being your girlfriend and can tell that I'm not going to get any hugs until after we shower.” I pointed to the bathroom. “Shake out the towels to check for spiders. I'll see you upstairs.”

He sighed and I could tell that he stopped in the doorway. But I wanted to avoid anything sexual. I ran upstairs and showered quickly. He came into my room right as I finished dressing.

Manuel grinned and then glimpsed down at my hand and held it. His gorgeous coffee colored eyes met mine and then flickered back down at my hands. He hugged me and spoke softly, “I want to talk about some stuff I've printed off from the internet, try some stuff.”

I laughed, having no idea what he was talking about but perceiving his uncomfortable goofiness. I asked, “Why are you embarrassed?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “Because I'm embarrassed but want to be honest with what I'm thinking about doing to turn you on.”

“Oh, now I'm embarrassed.” I wanted to avoid this conversation. “Manuel, are you sure? You might get really frustrated. I was actually thinking we should just give me more time, you know, just kiss and hold hands for now. I love that you're my guy; it's awesome, comforting. I'm afraid of losing you if you lose patience.”

His eyes met mine again and melted me with their beauty. He led me to my bed and grabbed a file folder. He sat on the bed, cross-legged in his shorts, facing me. “I thought I'd have you read about some of these techniques to help a girl feel better, ya know, and you could tell me what you'd be comfortable trying.  I'll do anything you want and don't worry, I'm not asking you to do anything different for me. You're beyond perfect.”

I asked, “So cooling it isn't an option?”

He put his hand on my cheek. “I love you so much.” He grinned and shook his head. “There's no pressure. Just read about the techniques and don't be embarrassed to ask me to do them or use something to help you because you're my everything.”

I smiled at him, grateful that he was so thoughtful and academic. “I don't feel embarrassed now that you're sharing your little textbook approach.” I worried that he was going to ask me to blow him. “You're okay with me not wanting to do any nasty stuff?”

“Kate made it very clear to me the way girls felt about it. And just for the record, just about every guy in the school was telling me that their girls were. I learned that the guys were more than exaggerating. I thought I'd just start with the first technique without telling you what I was up to but then decided that I want your input before I do anything, ya know, make sure it's what you want.”

I asked, “Do you want me to read them and circle what I want to try?”

He smiled at me and nodded his head. “Remember, you're in control. Okay?”

I nodded and squinted at him intently, “There's more. What's up?”

“Well, I talked to my parents. I asked them if I could sleep here. I just don't get to see you enough. I think about you constantly and want to be with you more. It's your house, your wishes, but I sure would like to. It's not to do it. It's to be with you. I need you.”

“What did they say?”

“They said okay but that I should talk to you first. I traded shifts at the restaurant so I can see you this weekend, but we barely see each other during the week.  Please don't get freaked out.”

“
Señor Self-righteous
, you're a confusing mix of rules. I'd love to have you live with me but I warn you, I won't want you to leave.”

“Well, I won't exactly live with you. I'll just have the flexibility to come here after work and stay after our dates. I should still be home to study before big tests or if my parents or Janet need me.”

I slouched. “I have to tell you the truth before we ‘kind of' live together. I don't like it non-committal, casual. I'm also worried about doing it but I'm scared to death that I'll lose you if I say no.”

“I freaked you out?”

“Not exactly, I just have a lot of fear of being alone again. I have trust issues.”

Manuel embraced me. “How about I stop with the bull? I'm conflicted but I love you so completely, am so committed. Trust me while I sort out what I believe. Our love is so good. What's wrong is you always being alone, living by yourself, and being so adult. I want to be by your side, with you, supporting you.”

Contentment washed over me. I cuddled into him and read.

 

To show the world that I forgave Evan but kept my self-respect, I was attending his Friday night premiere of
Inert Reactions
, which he warned me was really going to suck. Manuel, Franz, Mitch and Beth were coming with me.

“Franz, I thought you were bringing Tony?”

He pouted. “I'm not a slut. I'm not interested.”

“Oh, I'm sorry. Franz, do you get lonely?”

“No, I'm holding out for love. Speaking of love, where's Manny?” He had finished dressing me and doing my makeup. He was working on my hair. We needed to leave in thirty minutes.

“I'm here!” Manuel yelled as he came in the house. “Sorry I'm late! Mitch and Beth should be here in a second.” He came into Mom's bathroom where Franz was finishing up.

“Hi Franz! Nice to see you.” Manuel shook his hand. “Wow, you look pretty. You're gorgeous without makeup, too.”

“Thanks.” I beamed from the praise. Franz also beamed with pride for making me look so pretty. “Why are you so happy?” I asked.

“I had a really good day at school and stuff. I got an academic scholarship to UCLA, full ride, room and board, plus a stipend for books.” Manuel smiled.

Franz clapped. I got up from the chair and hugged him. “That's awesome!”

“Yeah, I'm really happy. So can I wear this?” Manuel was in a black tee, cargo pants and flip flops. I checked Franz. He looked shocked. I laughed.

“I think you can. Just walk with Franz.” I joked.

He could wear whatever he wanted to wear. We were not on an official date. I was going as a celebrity to support the studio's project but Franz, Manuel, Mitch and Beth were going for fun to support Evan as friends.

Franz responded. “No way! You're walking by yourself, Manny. I can't be associated with that look!”

Manuel and I laughed. “Fair enough, Franz.” Manuel patted Franz on the shoulder. “So, I just make room for you, my gorgeous girlfriend, while you pose for some photos but otherwise you're my date?”

“Yep. Just don't hold my hand or anything so there won't be any speculation. Sage and my security guards will escort me from the limo. I will do a few interviews about why I forgive Evan, so I'll meet you guys in the lobby. Then we can make out in our seats, my man,” I joked.

Manuel smiled. “It'll be nice to catch up with Evan. I'm happy that he's okay with us dating,
mi cariño
.”

Franz laughed. I knew that he was thinking that he liked Evan over Manuel so I punched him lightly in the shoulder.

Manuel evaluated me again. “Are you wearing that? It's so short.”

Franz put his hands on his hips and exhaled loudly. “I'm so sure, Manny. Just ruin the mood. She looks stunning. Is it your intention to criticize her all the time? Does that make you feel more manly or something?”

Manuel replied, “No. It's just so revealing. Isn't Marie above looking sleazy?”

“She's a goddess. Ugh!” Franz stormed off, needing to get himself ready for the premiere.

Beth and Mitch arrived.

She dazzled in a black sundress and low-heeled sandals. Beth was tall and resembled a swimsuit model. She had short dark brown hair naturally highlighted in golden streaks from the sun and chlorine. Her body was tanned, toned, and perfect. Like me, she had larger breasts than what you'd expect from her being an athlete. Most female athletes don't have a lot of body fat so the breasts, being composed of body fat, are usually small. Not mine and not Beth's. From exercising constantly, her skin glowed with health, clear of any imperfection. She didn't wear makeup normally, but she wore a pearlescent pink lipstick and mascara that made her royal blue eyes shine.

She was so naturally beautiful that several times a year she was offered modeling contracts. But she had no intention of ever being a product and never gave modeling another thought.

Mitch appeared out of place with the rest of us. He was wearing a suit.

I shared Manuel's news, “Manny got a full ride to UCLA!”

Beth crossed her arms and guffawed, “Figures! That's so unfair!”

“What?” I stammered.

Beth explained, “Need-based minority academic full-ride bullshit, Manny. You're dating Marie Michael, your mom is worth several million dollars, you look as white as me and you claim financial need. My family has negative cash flow so I have to swim my ass off to pay for college. Your family or Marie could pay for your education in a heartbeat but you get the scholarship with no strings attached while I have to slave for my athletic scholarship so I can get the education.”

Manuel shrugged. “I am Latino, even if I don't look like it, and I do live in an apartment.”

“Yeah, an apartment complex your mom owns!”

“Technically, her trust owns it.”

“Whatever, Manny. You have to live with yourself. You just took away a scholarship from someone who actually needed it.”

Manuel huffed and ignored her. I wondered if he saw himself as a hypocrite in any way. Several of his ‘life rules' didn't make sense to me.

We all left the house nervously from the tension between the three. I said hello to Sashi and settled in the stretch limo. I sat between Manuel and Franz.

Manuel immediately addressed Franz, “Hey, Franz, I know you guys both saw me roll my eyes last time you did Marie's makeup. I'm sorry. I thought you were being overboard dramatic, and I don't like Marie made up and revealing too much of her body. She's more beautiful without the glop on her face. I know that it's your job to make her look sexy, but I'm just uncomfortable seeing her that way. Like right now, I mean, look, nothing is covering her legs all the way up.”