Speed of Life (21 page)

“Now you, Ambie Pambie,” Aunt Ruby says.

Amber's envelope is a lot thicker than mine, and when she opens it, she pulls out some papers stapled together in the corner. We all wait while she scans them. And then her face breaks into the biggest, widest smile I've ever seen.

“Is this for real?” she asks Aunt Ruby.

“Yep.”

“Oh my God!” Amber jumps up and throws her arms around our aunt. “Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!”

“What is it?” Jade asks.

“Aunt Ruby's given me ten percent of the Glass Slipper!” Amber says. Tears are streaming down her face, and she's bouncing around the table like gravity can't hold her.

The knot in my stomach cinches even tighter. “What do you mean? You're a partner now? But we—”

“Don't worry, Crystal,” Aunt Ruby says. “I just wanted to give her something to look forward to in four years. I'm not asking her to stay.”

I relax a tiny bit, but after this gift, Wednesday can't come soon enough.

There's a cruise-in at Mikey's Diner the next day, and when I ask Amber to come along, she says, “That's one ‘last' I can live without.” I drop her at the salon where Jade works. It's closed on Mondays, but she's going to give Amber a trim.

“Don't let her dye your hair blue.”

“As if.”

Me and Nat go to Mikey's and a bunch of the hot rodders surprise me with a card and a wad of cash they've collected. A big meaty guy who goes by the name of Stick wraps his thick arm around my shoulder. “Do us proud at that school, Crystal. And then come back here and fix up the dings in Jack's car. It's a mess.”

We all laugh because Jack has the nicest ride of any of us, a low-to-the-ground '33 Ford Victoria, all black, all the time. And everyone knows, if you're painting a car black, the body has to be perfectly straight or any flaws will show. His car is gorgeous.

I have to admit, I'm a little teary when it's time to go. Ever since I got my license, I've been meeting up with these guys to show off our cars and talk mechanics and body work. Most of them are grandpas, and they tell me they wish they had granddaughters like me. I'm gonna miss them all.

We swing by Jade's house to pick up Amber, and she meets me on the porch and says she's staying over. I want to talk her out of it, but I don't try. I know she's going to miss Jade. Instead, me and Nat leave her there, and I try not to think about the ten percent of Aunt Ruby's business that's now Amber's, or what Jade might be telling her.

It's hot tonight and Natalie's fussy, so I drive around for a little bit with all the windows down, but then I go home because I know Bonehead will start barking if someone doesn't feed him soon. Plus I need to get Natalie into her crib.

It's stifling in our bedroom and I feel sorry for Nat. Her skin's damp from the heat and she's got a rash between her thighs. I put some cream on her legs and leave her to sleep in a diaper. I'll put a light blanket over her later. Outside, I stand in the darkness, watching Bonehead eat.

“It's no big deal Amber is staying at Jade's, right?” I ask the dog. He snuffles into his food bowl, making a wet sucking sound as he inhales his dinner.

Gross.

I find Mom in the kitchen doing a crossword. I look around for something to eat besides the day-old doughnuts on the table next to her dirty coffee cup, but I can't find anything. “What're you doing home, anyway?” I ask.

“Even your old lady gets a night off from the chain gang.”

“Oh, right.”

She must be broke or she'd be at bingo. I disappear into our bedroom quick before she can hit me up for money. It's still so hot in here, I have to do something or me and Nat will suffocate. I go out to my car and get the toolkit Jimmy gave me for graduation. What I really need are bolt cutters, but there aren't any. Instead, I take a sledgehammer to the padlock Gil used to lock the overhead door when he turned the garage into our bedroom.

I'm standing outside in the driveway, bashing at it with all my worry over what Jade's telling Amber in every blow. It only takes about six good whacks before Mr. Hendricks is screaming at me from his porch to shut the hell up, and I can hear Natalie crying inside. Maybe this wasn't my best idea ever, but I've almost got it now. I give the lock one more hard
thwack,
it crumbles, and I'm able to get the chain free. I lift the creaky door for the first time in years, and it squeals, making Bonehead whine. Natalie's standing in her crib, her face pink and tears snaking down her cheeks.

“Sorry, baby,” I say. “I didn't mean to scare you.”

She stares at me with those huge blue eyes like I made her cry on purpose.

“I said I was sorry.”

I look around at the mess I've made. I really didn't think this whole thing through. When I lifted the garage door, my mattress got showered with crud, dead bugs, and dirt. I don't have any other sheets and I'm too grossed out to just shake them. I'll have to sleep in Amber's bed tonight.

After I get Nat to lie back down and I stroke her hair until she falls asleep again, I put on a pair of shorts and a tank-top and climb under Amber's sheet. Streetlight and fresh air drift in, giving the usually pitch-black room a surreal feeling. I can't fall asleep, though, and after a while I decide it's because I'm too freaked out that someone might walk in and attack me and Nat. It's not the best neighborhood, after all. I get up and let Bonehead off his chain.

“You can sleep on my bed,” I say, patting it, and he jumps right up like he owns it. I should probably figure out a way to tie him up—​I don't want him to run away. But he looks so happy to be inside that I leave him alone. He scratches, turns around and around in a circle, and then curls himself into a tiny ball. Pretty amazing considering the size of him.

I lie awake for a long time in my sister's bed, missing her. I don't sleep much. That familiar pain has come back in my stomach. I curl up, almost as small as Bonehead on the other bed. It eases the stabbing in my gut a little, and after a while, I guess I drift off.

Tuesday's my last day at Jimmy's, and technically I'm not even working. I leave Natalie with Gil and go in to say goodbye and fill my tank. When I try to pay for the gas, Jimmy shakes me off. I hope no one tells Betty. I stand around for a few minutes, talking to Rosa and killing time until David's lunch break. I already know what route me and Amber are taking to Kansas, but he wants to show me some other road he says is way cooler.

“I got you a sandwich on my way in to work,” he says after he punches the time clock.

He's a good man. His girlfriend's lucky to have him. We go to the break room and sit next to each other instead of across the table like usual. I unwrap my veggie delight sub while he opens a road atlas and spreads it out in front of us.

He points to the interstate on the map. “Don't tell me you're taking I-Eighty-Four?”

“Yep,” I say. “East to Salt Lake City, on to Denver, and a straight shot to Kansas from there.”

“Snoozefest. You should go south to Sacramento, then take Highway Fifty across Nevada.”

I shake my head. “That'll burn a lot more gas. Some of us aren't made of money. And I don't have air conditioning, either. Remember?”

“Chick-ennnn,” he says, drawing out the last syllable and grinning.

“Yeah, I'd like to see you do it, Stanford Boy. ‘Oh, my white polo shirt has perspiration stains!' ”

“I'm telling you, you're missing the most awesome road in the entire United States. Highway Fifty's flat, straight, no cops. It's what the Mustang was made for.”

“Maybe. But most of them don't have a baby in the back seat.”

He tilts his chair back, shaking his head. “Oh, yeah. I forgot about that.”

“Good thing I'm the one driving, then.”

“Someday, College Girl . . . promise me someday you'll go that way.”

“I promise.”

We shake on it. And then I scarf my sandwich down and get the hell out before one of us tears up. I go to Big Apple Pizza to find Amber, but Tom tells me she called in sick for her last day. I swing by the house and pick up Natalie from Mom. Amber's not there, so I run over to Jade's, but no one's there, either. I think about going to the salon and telling Jade to butt out, but I don't want to make a scene where she works. She pisses me off, but her kids need to eat, and I get the feeling she's always on the edge of being fired for one thing or another, so I let it go for now.

Besides, I have something else I need to do. This morning, while Mom and Gil were sleeping, I managed to snag some money from them by going through their pockets. I know they'll never miss it. They can't keep track of what they have. I take the cash over to the landlord and tell him good luck, he's on his own from now on.

He says his woman left him anyway, so no one's nagging him to collect rent, but not to tell Gil and Mom. I promise him I won't. I don't know much about the guy, but he and Gil were in the army together and served in Afghanistan, so I guess that's the real reason he doesn't kick us out.

“If I get enough out of them to pay the property taxes every year,” he says, “then that's all I care about. The house is a piece of shit anyway, and Gil's a real friend.”

I'm kind of surprised to hear this, since I don't think they ever see each other, but it makes sense that they have a history. Anyone else would've evicted us a long time ago.

“Yeah, okay,” I say. “Well . . . good luck.”

“You too, Crystal.”

I stop by the Glass Slipper on my way home, but according to Aunt Ruby there's been no sign of Amber. “Haven't seen her, chickadee,” she says. “But give your old aunt a hug goodbye.”

Later, I'm sitting at the table with Mom when the phone rings. It has to be Amber. Finally! I run out to the living room and grab the receiver. “Hello?”

“Hey, Crys. It's me.”

“Am, where are you?”

“I went to the beach for the day with Jade and Teddy and the kids.”

“Why didn't you tell me?”

“Sorry. I stopped by the house, but no one was home.”

“You couldn't have left a note?”

“We were in a hurry. I didn't think it mattered.”

“Well, are you coming home now?”

There's a pause before she says, “I think I'm gonna stay over one more night.”

“Amber? Is something wrong?”

“No,” she says, real fast. “I'm just going to miss Jade. That's all.”

“All right. But what about your stuff? Don't you have to pack?”

“It's all good,” she says. “I'm ready to go.”

I'm not convinced her staying at Jade's is a good idea, but she sounds fine, kind of happy even. “All right. I want to leave at seven tomorrow morning.”

“I'll be there.”

“Okay. Good night.”

“Night.”

I go back to the kitchen. It's the last time me and Mom will sit here while she does a crossword, and as usual, she totally ignores me. There's a little pang in my heart when I think of her sitting here alone.

“Would you quit sighing like someone's hung you on the cross?” Mom says.

“Sorry.”

“So what is it now?” she asks.

“I'm worried about Amber.”

“You should learn to take care of yourself and let your sister live her own life.”

“I guess.”

I go into our bedroom and look around. It's pretty much the same as always, but I can tell Amber's been here. Instead of stuff piled on top of the Rubbermaid containers, everything's inside them. I guess she really is ready to go. I spend an hour going through my clothes, leaving the oldest ones on my bed. I've got the garage door open again, and Bonehead makes a nest out of a pair of jeans.

It's so hot I give Natalie a cool bath before I put her into her crib. “Last time, little girl.” She smiles sleepily up at me, and I kiss her good night.

At 6:48 the next morning I'm sitting on the steps waiting for Amber. Bonehead herds Nat around on the patch of dried-up grass and sits patiently when she throws her arms around his neck and says her version of “doggy” in his ear.

I said my goodbyes to Mom last night, and Gil actually went in to work for once, mumbling something about having to be there early to do the pizza prep, so he's gone already. I'm on pins and needles—​tapping my feet, making myself count to five before I look down the street again, taking long, slow, deep breaths. Maybe I should've told Amber we were leaving later—​she doesn't like to get up early.

I've already packed everything into the Mustang. We haven't got much, but the car filled up surprisingly fast. Nat's going to have to share the back seat with all the clothes Han got her and some of Amber's stuff, plus the cooler that I filled with baby snacks. We're leaving the crib and swing behind, hoping to find what we need in McPherson.

Natalie crawls over to me and pulls herself up on the step, Bonehead right behind her. I pat her head and scratch his ears, and the dog barks once in excitement. He wants me to unhook his chain and let him come along with us. Me and Amber talked about taking him, but what would we do with a dog when we got to Kansas? Technically, he belongs to Gil anyway. I hope he remembers to feed him.

“Sorry, buddy,” I say. “You gotta stay here.”

“Hey,” Amber says. I look up and she's standing on the sidewalk. There's such a whoosh of relief, it shakes my body. Bonehead probably feels like this every time we pull into the driveway. By the time my sister walks across the scrappy grass, I'm standing and my heartbeat's going crazy, like my timing belt is out of whack. I kind of want to hug her.

Natalie's face lights up when she sees Amber, and she holds out her arms. “Amba!”