Special Needs (35 page)

Ryan caught one more kiss before trying to unbutton his pants with one hand. He was
not
letting go of that pulsating piece of flesh. God, it was so thick! He could only imagine how it would feel in his mouth.

“You need some help, Ryan,” Liam teased, reaching to his fly and the painfully hard cock that was begging to get out of its confinement.

“Sorry. Yours is just... I don’t wanna stop holding it.” Ryan let out a nervous laugh and God, did his stomach clench yet again.

“You’ll have to. Eventually.” Liam yanked Ryan’s trousers lower on his hips and the cool air brushed over the hypersensitive skin. The barest touch of Liam’s fingertips tracing the length got Ryan squirming and made him squeeze the ‘boss’ harder. Being exposed to Liam in this way took their intimacy to a whole new level. Would Liam actually like what he saw?

He didn’t seem displeased. On the contrary, he leaned forward and circled Ryan's dick with his fingers, while pushing his hips forward.

Ryan reached out for another kiss, but just moaned into Liam’s lips when he felt the touch of another cock on his own. It was like electricity going through his body. With their skin pressing together, and mouths demanding more access, he was soon trembling in Liam’s arms, both of their hands wrapped around each others pulsing flesh.

All it took was a few grinds and Ryan saw stars at the back of his eyelids. Maybe it was a bit fast, but at least he didn’t come in his pants like he was worried he would. Liam pushed him down, his body rocking against him rhythmically, cock sliding over Ryan’s come-slickened stomach. He was heavy, smelled of sunshine and in his eyes, beyond raw lust, Ryan saw a tenderness that made his heart melt.

“Oh yeah, come all over me.” It just rolled off his tongue, before he could force his lips shut and as right as it felt, a wave of embarrassment washed over Ryan the moment he said it, but all he could see in Liam’s face was pleasure.

“Little Ryan’s kinky,” he breathed, abruptly pulling his hips up. “You do it.” It was an order Ryan was not going to refuse.

“I just... it slipped,” he muttered and quickly grabbed Liam’s cock again, to pump it in the same rhythm he seemed to enjoy most a moment ago, but his partner had something else in mind and he began thrusting into Ryan’s fist, his groans muffled by willing lips as the kiss deepened. There was sucking, licking, even biting, and it was a delicious assault. The way Liam thrust into his hand, slicked up with both saliva and Ryan’s own cum, triggered a flash of images of himself fucked at such a wild pace, or having that dick forced down his throat. The hot cock head brushed over each of Ryan’s fingers, as he offered his fist like a willing hole to the forceful rhythm, and in the end, he was granted the privilege of being covered by Liam’s sticky release. Liam rode the fist like mad, groaning as he came, before finally letting his body rest on Ryan’s. His slick cock slipped from the hand, leaving it hot and strangely empty.

“Shit.”

“Oh wow,” was all that Ryan could manage as he pulled Liam into a tight embrace. It was so different from the experiences he had with Stuart, or any other guy for that matter. Being so close to Liam, feeling his weight on top of himself, smelling his fresh sweat was slowly making him realize that this was what intimacy should have always felt like.

“Mm.” Liam slid his arms underneath him for a closer hug. Ryan was surprised at how well their bodies fit together. Like a jigsaw made of flesh. “I couldn’t agree more.”

“You’re so intense.” Only now that he got rid of the pent-up tension, was Ryan ready for things to be more delicate and mellow. He kissed Liam’s arm, enjoying the warm cocoon of his body. It radiated the promise of safety and acceptance. A chuckle by the side of his neck sent vibrations down his skin, and then slowly, Liam pushed his fingers into Ryan's hair, caressing his scalp.

“You’re so hot.”

Ryan wanted to believe him, but it was so unexpected coming from a non-devotee, that he continued kissing Liam's skin to avoid having to answer.

“So... what do we do now?” Liam asked and brushed his mouth over Ryan's jaw line, making him arch with a sigh of pleasure.

“Uhm... I’m not sure. We talk?” Ryan frowned, trying to get a better grip on the situation.

“Yeah, that’s what I meant.” They were now forehead to forehead, and he couldn't read Liam's expression that well, but the closeness itself both made his chest ache and kept him calm. It was a strange sensation.

“I don’t know, Liam. I’m a bit useless at this, and you really caught me by surprise.” Ryan couldn’t move much under him, and that sole sensation could make him hard if it lasted long enough.

“Um... do you want to continue?” Liam tried as he flicked his tongue over Ryan’s mouth like a kitten.

“Or, maybe we should take a shower.”

The other man blinked and broke out into a chuckle. “That’s not what I meant, but yeah, sure. You must be exhausted...” He trailed off, giving him a meaningful look.

“I’m just trying to wrap my head around the fact that you like me this much.” Ryan licked his lips. “What did you mean?”

Liam raised the upper half of his body, reached for his beer and downed it in one go, using his other hand to pull up his pants. It was hard not to stare at the magnificent muscles of his chest. “Is that what you want? Something long-term?” Liam reached into his pocket and took out a pack of cigarettes.

“Liam... I’ve been crazy about you since the day we met.” Ryan looked away, embarrassed by saying those words out loud. There was a clank of metal and then, he felt the sharp smell of smoke.

“I sure fucked up by not telling you.” Liam’s fingers dug into the hollows of Ryan’s cheeks, forcing him to look up. “Could have done so much since then.”

“I can’t believe you teased me so much and you’re gay yourself. What the hell...” He didn’t have much aggression or energy to put into those words.

“I didn’t tease you because you’re gay. I was flirting.” Liam stroked his own stomach, letting himself enjoy the cigarette. He always smelt like tobacco, but Ryan didn’t find it repulsive. It was a part of who Liam was.

“Yeah, maybe if I knew you were, I wouldn’t have made the stupidest comments.” He rolled his eyes. He wouldn’t be able to even list the amount of embarrassing things he had said to Liam up till now.

The other man laughed, bowing down to give Ryan a smoke-infused kiss. “I loved our chats. Hope nothing’ll change.”

“Yeah, except the fact that now it would be, like... for real.” He pouted, not impressed by how amused Liam was.

“Hey, I’m still the same guy.” Liam put the cig out in the sand and traced his finger down Ryan’s chest.

“Are you?” Ryan took a deep breath and slowly ran his fingers through Liam’s hair. It was matte, as if he had been in the ocean and dried it off in the sun. “You’re a Liam I can touch. And that’s pretty scary.”

“Baby, you can even suck me off if you want to.” Liam grinned before getting off Ryan.

Those words got his stomach fluttering, but he quickly pulled his pants up. He wasn’t very impressive when not aroused. “I p--probably would like that. Very much. At some point.” Ryan wanted to hit himself on the head. Why was he so useless now that he knew he had a chance with Liam?

“Sure, I understand. There’s no rush.” Liam pushed the empty cans into Ryan’s hands before picking him up to walk back to the hotel. “I know you’re probably... you know, after Stuart?” Liam’s grip on him tightened when he mentioned the name.

“It ended well, but wasn’t pleasant.” Ryan sighed. “So don’t call me ‘baby’. That’s what he called me.” He wrapped his arms around Liam’s neck and kissed him on the rugged cheek. He loved how the stubble felt on his sensitive lips.

“Oh.” Liam stopped mid-way up the stairs, his widened eyes on Ryan. “I didn’t know. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry, you couldn’t have.” Ryan let his fingertips play on Liam’s nape, threading his fingers through the long hair and touching the hot skin. The fact that he could actually touch him this way was still overwhelming.

“What should I call you then, ‘lil’Ryan’?” Liam let out a low, throaty chuckle, easily carrying him further up the stairs.

“No.” Ryan moaned, burying his face in Liam’s salty neck. “That sounds as if I have a small dick.”

“Right, that doesn’t compliment the greatness of your cock.”

“Bastard.” Ryan sighed and hugged him closer. The fact that he could now be dating Liam was slowly sinking in, and it made him both scared and exhilarated.

“So, what about the staff?” Liam asked as he slowly walked to the porch.

Ryan needed to tread carefully on the topic. He wanted his opinion to match Liam’s, but it was a guessing game. “Uhm... we shouldn’t tell them, right? It could be awkward.”

Liam’s brows went up. “Oh.”

Did he do something wrong? Fuck. Dating was a mine-field. “Uhm... don’t you think?” Ryan stroked the back of Liam’s neck.

“I don’t know. Why would it be awkward if you dated me?” For once, Liam’s face was hard to read.

“Cause I’m your boss and their boss, and you guys are sort of colleagues. They might get self conscious around you.”

Liam sighed, gently lowering Ryan into his chair. “Sure, if that’s what you want.”

Ryan growled. “I hate it when people say that. It’s like you’re pretending not to have an opinion, even though you obviously do.” He looked up at Liam, adjusting himself in the chair.

Liam licked his lips, grabbing his cigarette pack in a hurried, jerky move. “Well, you’re the boss, Ryan.”

“I am. But now that you’re gay, I have to think of other punishment than sucking cock.”

“You’re punishing me by pretending we’re just friends, like some fucking eighties homos?” The answer came out a bit sharp, though Liam had a small smile on his face.

“Uhm...” Ryan was so surprised by the outburst, he didn’t know what to say. He slowly reached for Liam’s hand, but when he gave it a gentle squeeze, he didn't feel the warm fingers squeezing him back. “I just don’t want people to think weird stuff.”

“What would they think?” Liam took a deep drag from his cigarette, his eyes on the courtyard. He was tapping his foot on the ground in a quick rhythm. “I’ve heard that before, you know. And in the end, it just made it easier for them to let go of me.”

“I don’t want people to think you’ve got this job ‘cause you sleep with me.” Liam’s behavior was making Ryan uneasier by the second, so he let go of his hand, too confused to do anything else.

“Right, I just got it because I’m attractive.”

Ryan instantly looked up at him, a flush crawling up his neck.
Caught red handed, Ryan.
“I... uhm... we clicked, right?” he muttered, but the truth was just too obvious.

“Yeah, we did, but I bet that’s what everyone thinks. Don’t even try to deny it.” Liam slid down the wall, squatting with both of his elbows on the tops of his thighs. The red tip of the cigarette cast a gentle glow on his sensuous mouth.

“So what? Now I’m some lecher? I don’t have much contact with guys other than caretakers. What am I supposed to do?” Ryan didn’t even know when this conversation got so upsetting. It skyrocketed and then crashed straight into the ocean of awkward and sad.

Liam ran his hand through his hair, blowing the smoke out. It took such a long time, Ryan started wondering what his lung capacity was. It looked like there was something aflame within his chest.

“Look... I know this kind of shit all too well, all right?” Liam darted a look at him. “It’s not a good position for me to be in.”

Panic rose up in Ryan’s throat as if he was drowning. “What can I do?”

Liam spread his arms with a growl. “Ryan, you don’t have to do shit, all right? I mean... I get it, it’s new, you don’t want to announce us to anyone, but this kind of shit can’t go on forever.” He swallowed hard and looked at Ryan. “If it works out, we’ll be out, all right?”

Ryan clenched his fists. He wasn’t planning to just go along with whatever Liam wanted. It wasn’t an attractive thing to do and would probably look desperate, but he knew that learning to say ‘no’ would take a while. “I can see you’re not happy about it.” He was afraid to move closer, because Liam looked like he was about to blow up. “We can say we’re dating, right?”

Liam blinked, his shoulders relaxing. “We can?”

“Yeah, sure!”
Whatever you want
. Ryan smiled at him to hide his nervousness.

Liam licked his lips, reaching out to squeeze his hand. “We can wait like... a month till we’re sure. If you want.”

“Liam, you’re making me very nervous.” His voice broke down, and he was barely holding back an attack of hyperventilation.

Liam took his hand, with widening eyes. “Sorry. Didn’t want to.”

“I told you I’m not good at this.” Ryan slouched and hugged himself with the free arm. How was he supposed to deal with this?

“Can I touch you?” came after a moment of silence.

Only now did Ryan realize he left his tank top at the beach. He was half naked, with his stomach and chest covered in drying come. It was a struggle to fight back the tears, but he managed for now. “If you want to.”

“Do you want me to?” Liam’s voice was pure cotton and honey.

“Would you hug me, please?” Ryan couldn’t even explain why he got so emotional. Maybe it was just too much for one night.