[Song of Alaska 02] - Morning's Refrain (19 page)

Well into the night Phoebe thought about what Lydia had suggested. In the solitude of her room she took up her Bible and searched through Philippians for the verses Lydia had mentioned. Finally, she found them in the fourth chapter.

“Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in what
-
soever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be
abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I
am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and
to suffer need. I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth
me.”

Could Christ give her a love for Sitka and the ability to be content, no matter where life took her? People seemed to always base their happiness or sorrow on the conditions of life around them. If loved ones died, their families were sad. If someone received a blessing, they were happy. Even the weather affected whether contentment could be achieved for some. Was it really possible to abound everywhere—in all things?

“It says right here that I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Not just some things,” she whispered to herself. “All things.”

Chapter 14

Y
ou two run along now,” Zee commanded. “The girls and I are going to have a nice supper together and then work on our quilt.”

Lydia looked at Kjell and smiled. “Do you hear that? You and I actually get to have some time alone. That hasn’t happened in a long while.”

Kjell grinned. “I think I like the sounds of it, Mrs. Lindquist. I’ll fetch the wagon.” He gave her a quick peck on the cheek, then darted out the door like a young man about to court his girl.

Zee laughed. “You have a good time, Lydia. Enjoy yourself and try to put aside all your concerns. God has everything under control.”

Lydia nodded. She couldn’t help but dwell on the fact that her beloved son would come home a changed man. Whether that would be a good thing or not remained to be seen. She had done the best she could to raise him with a heart focused on God and the present. She often told her children that they couldn’t change the past and they couldn’t jump forward to the future. All they had was today, and they needed to live it in such a way that they wouldn’t create just another regretted yesterday. Mourning the past was never productive—she knew this full well.

Having been chilled most of the day, Lydia took up her wool cape. “Thank you, Zerelda. How I appreciate the years we’ve had together. You’ve helped me in so many ways.” She kissed her aunt on the cheek. “I think I’m even closer to you than I was to Mother.”

Zee reached up and touched Lydia’s cheek. “You are the daughter I never had, and Kjell is like a son. Your children are as precious to me as if they’d been my own. I’m the one who’s blessed.”

“When I think of coming here so long ago . . .” Lydia fell silent and shook her head. “My life is so different now, and I truly hadn’t remembered much about my old life until Dalton took this trip south. I hope it won’t damage him.”

“You raised a good man, Liddie. Give him a chance to prove it.”

“But you don’t know how those people can be,” Lydia said, frowning.

Zee grasped her hand. “I know the promises of God, and furthermore, I believe them.”

Lydia nodded. “I keep reminding myself that. I’m trying to be at peace—to be content no matter the situation. I even reminded Phoebe of those verses in Philippians yesterday.”

“Then take your own advice and remember that Christ will give you the strength to do all things. Even face the horrors of the past.”

Lydia drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. Her aunt was right. She just had to be strong—not in her own strength, but in God’s.

“Sounds like Kjell is bringing the wagon around.” Zee pushed her toward the door. “Now, get on out of here. The girls and I have plans. I’ve sent them to find their quilt squares, and we will have a regular quilting party after we eat.”

“I hope you have fun,” Lydia said. “We won’t be late.”

She made her way outside as Kjell brought the wagon to a halt. He got down and helped her up onto the wagon seat, then joined her with a smile that stretched nearly from ear to ear.

“I have you to myself.” He leaned over and surprised her with a passionate kiss. Lydia melted against him with a sigh, causing Kjell to chuckle. “Well, now that I have your attention, my dear, where would you like to go?”

“Anywhere, as long as you are with me.” She smiled at him and looped her arm through his. “We can just take a nice ride, and then when the light is completely gone, we can have a bite to eat.”

“I like the sound of that.” Kjell slapped the reins lightly against the rumps of the horses. “Get along now.”

Lydia enjoyed the view of the harbor as the road came closer to the coast. There had been a great deal of trouble some years earlier, when Sheldon Jackson had supposedly infringed upon the passage into Sitka. It was basically a property dispute blown out of proportion, but the truth of the matter was that Jackson had grieved some of the men in power, and they, in turn, had tried to see his reputation completely ruined. And they had nearly succeeded. The native school quickly emptied of children, and Jackson was arrested. But cooler heads prevailed, and the man was released. Most of the men who’d tried to rid Sitka of Jackson were now instead gone themselves.

“You seem deep in thought.”

Lydia looked up at Kjell and nodded. “There’s been a lot on my mind of late.”

“Dalton and Evie?”

“Among other things,” she replied rather defensively.

“Liddie, I know you pretty well after nineteen years.”

“Well, I do think about other things and people,” she replied with a sheepish smile.

“But Dalton is weighing down your heart. Come on, Liddie. Admit it.”

Lydia pulled back. “Well, what decent mother wouldn’t be worried? We know how evil Marston is.”

“He could have changed,” Kjell offered.

“Oh, you are the eternal optimist,” she replied, crossing her arms.

Laughing at this, Kjell continued. “You are most likely right in assuming that Marston is the same. However, even if he’s just as bad as he’s always been, it doesn’t matter. Dalton is a man who seeks God’s heart. He won’t be easily swayed. You have to account for the fact that he has grown up. He’s able to look out for himself, Liddie.”

She sighed. “I know what you say is true. He is a good man, and I have to trust that God has His hand on Dalton—no matter where he goes or who he encounters. God is faithful.”

“Yes, He is. We have to remember that sometimes things seem wrong because they are out of our control, but they are never out of God’s control.”

“Do you think Dalton will be better for this trip?”

Kjell said nothing for a few moments, and Lydia could see he was giving careful consideration to her question. This was something he often did when matters were of the utmost importance.

Lydia looked out across the water at the sunset. There was such a peace about the way the water lapped gently upon the shore— constant, steady, reassuring.

“I think God allows us to go through so many things that don’t seem likely to benefit us, but in hindsight, we can see where they did. Even the tragedies we’ve suffered over the years.” He slowed the horses. “I think if Dalton will let Him, God will reveal important things about himself and life through this experience.”

The words had a calming effect on her heart. “I know you’re right.”

“So what else has you concerned tonight?” He looked over at her with a grin. “You’re not fretting over the girls, are you?”

“No, not really. Although I will say that Kjerstin has been making it quite clear she wants to be a nurse like Zee. That will require she go south for schooling.”

“But not for another ten years or so. She might change her mind twenty times by then.”

“I know, but the time will slip by faster than we think. But . . . well . . . there’s actually another girl who’s been on my mind a lot of late.”

He raised a brow. “Who?”

“Phoebe Robbins.”

“Why is that? Is there a problem with her flute playing? She still wants to perform with us, doesn’t she?”

“Yes. I mean no, there isn’t a problem, and yes, she still wants to perform.” Lydia paused a moment before plunging ahead. “What has been on my mind—and please don’t think me silly—but it has to do with her and Dalton.”

His expression was one of pure confusion. “What are you talking about?”

Lydia’s mind rushed with memories of Dalton and Phoebe, as well as her own prayers. “Before Dalton left for Kansas City, I could tell from some things he said that he found her quite interesting. Phoebe has also made it clear in our conversations that she misses him and she finds ways to ask me roundabout questions about him. Not only that, but I’ve long been praying for Dalton to find the right woman to marry someday, and the more I pray about it, the more I feel God laying Phoebe on my heart. I can’t really say why, but I believe they are destined for each other.”

As was typical, Kjell fell silent while he again considered what she’d said. They made their way into town, nodding or waving to those they knew. Kjell finally brought the wagon to a stop. “Let’s walk a bit.”

Lydia allowed him to help her down, and they strolled on a path near the main dock and held hands as the light faded bit by bit from the horizon.

“I think if God has really put this on your heart, Liddie, then you should seek His wisdom in what to do with it. Obviously the matter of falling in love will be between Phoebe and Dalton.”

“But I’m worried about them doing just that. I like Phoebe a great deal and I think she’s a lovely young woman, but she hates Sitka. You know Dalton loves it here. He’s always said he would never live anywhere but here.”

“Up until now he’s never been anywhere but here. Now that he’s seen the States and had a chance to experience life in the city, he may have a different opinion.”

Lydia frowned to think that her husband might be right. Yet it was hard to imagine that Dalton would fall under the spell of the city. His love of solitude—which he could only seem to find up in the mountains—made even Sitka seem too big for him.

“What are you chewing on?” Kjell asked.

She shook her head. “I just can’t see Dalton giving up this place. In fact, I could more easily see Phoebe coming to love Sitka than Dalton agreeing to move.”

“A man will do strange things when it comes to the woman he loves,” Kjell replied. “Look at me. I never intended to remarry, and I’d certainly given up on having a family. I figured I’d own the mill until I died. Then you came into my life.”

He smiled at her in a way that caused Lydia’s heart to skip a beat. My, but he was still the best-looking man she’d ever known.

“Dalton may come to realize, as I did with you, that nothing matters as much as loving Phoebe and being with her.”

“I know you’re right. When Phoebe told me how hard it was to be happy here, I reminded her of Paul’s words in Philippians on contentment. I suggested she pray and ask God to help her find things to love about Sitka.” Lydia stepped around a puddle. “I suppose I didn’t want to suggest that Dalton could change his mind and desire to move away with her. Oh, Kjell, I think my heart would break if he left us.”

Kjell put his arm around Lydia’s shoulders. “I know it would be hard, but darling, we need to realize it’s a possibility. We cannot put a harness on the boy. He will have to make his own decisions and seek the direction God specifically has for his life.” He paused and pulled Lydia into his arms. “But don’t be afraid. I’ll be here with you every step of the way. I will bear this with you—you will never be alone. You and I have faced much worse than this.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “We can do this together.”