Shaxoa's Gift (15 page)

“He told me how he thought that Uriah was
only going to hurt me, and that I could never understand what he
meant by that.” I struggled not to show any emotion. Sophia stood
in the kitchen doorway watching me with a very curious expression
on her round face.

Lina’s fingers wrapped around the arms of the
rocking chair, her knuckles going white with effort. I pushed her a
little farther. “He told me that he married an outsider because he
thought it would stop me from falling for Uriah, even though that
doesn’t make any sense because he married my mom before Uriah was
even born. He knows something about Uriah but he won’t tell me what
it is. He thinks Uriah is bad for me, that he’ll lead me to places
I shouldn’t go.”

Lina snapped, words slipping out before she
could stop herself. “Your father is a fool! He has no right to
judge my son. He should have known better than to say anything
about him or his future. Thomas Brant is a selfish idiot.” As soon
as the words left her mouth, her hand slapped over her lips in
embarrassment.

“I couldn’t have said it better myself,” I
said. A wry smile crept onto my relieved face. I felt bad for
taunting Lina, but I felt so much less alone at her words.

Uriah’s mother stared at me, confusion
twisting her face. Sophia struggled to keep a smile from her
lips.

“You guys don’t have to pretend everything is
okay,” I said. “I know it’s not. My dad inadvertently tried to kill
me, and I have no idea where Uriah is. I spend every second
fighting away the urge to run after Daniel by surrounding myself
with memories of Uriah. What I need right now is a little help, not
to be treated like a child.”

“That’s wonderful,” Sophia said. “I’ll expect
you up by six tomorrow morning to help Hale feed the animals.”

“That’s not exactly what I meant,” I said
flatly.

“Physical labor will keep your mind occupied
a lot better than dreaming will,” Sophia said. She turned lightly
and headed back to the kitchen. “The enchiladas are ready, by the
way.”

“I’m sorry,” Lina said when our eyes met. “I
shouldn’t have called your father a fool or an idiot.”

“Don’t be sorry,” I said. “I know what he is.
He’s dead wrong about Uriah and everything else.”

Her eyes narrowed, for some reason. It looked
like she wanted to say something. Whatever it was, she kept a tight
control on her lips this time. My dad was wrong, right? I raced
through what she and I had said for some kind of clue. Her response
to my rant poked at my thoughts. The only thing that stood out was
when she said my dad had no right to say anything about Uriah or
his future. A shiver ran through my body.

“Lina, do you know something about Uriah?
Something about his future, or the strange things he can do?” I
asked.

Panic flashed in her eyes. “No, of course
not. How would I know anything about Uriah’s future? And I have no
idea what you mean by strange things.”

“But…” The sudden look of steel resolve in
her expression stopped me. She knew something.

Lina winced as she tried to resettle herself
on the couch. Normally so determined to show she was fine, I
couldn’t help but wonder if she was trying to distract me with her
injury. Her hand touched mine, and when she spoke her voice had a
pleading quality to it, one begging me to let myself be distracted.
“What does it feel like?” she asked. “The bond, I mean.”

I hesitated. If she knew something .... Her
hands squeezed mine even tighter. The hint of tears shone in the
corners of her eyes. I walked away from my dad because I wasn’t
strong enough to face him yet. I recognized the same look in Lina.
Maybe she would tell me, but not right now. There were too many
other things threatening to break her. I could understand the
feeling. Sighing, I gave in, for now.

“It’s feels like I’m being pulled apart, and
I have no choice about which direction I’ll go.” I sank down into a
hard, wooden chair next to Lina. “I still love Uriah, but if I
don’t keep reminding myself, I know I’ll forget. Every time I reach
for memories of him, they seem to be a little further away, and
that scares me to death.”

“If you need to talk, I’m here,” Lina
said.

“The food is getting cold,” Sophia said from
the kitchen.

Lina smiled and shook her head. I helped her
up from her chair, and slowly we walked to the kitchen table. The
aroma of Sophia’s green chile chicken enchiladas brought a smile to
both of our faces. After helping Uriah’s mother into her chair, I
eagerly found mine.

“Nice to see you have your appetite back,
Claire,” Sophia said. She set a plate of steaming food in front of
me.

Sophia and Lina talked about the ranch, and
what was happening around the town as they ate. I paid little
attention to their conversation until I heard my dad’s name come
up.

“What did you say about my dad?” I asked.

“I was just telling Lina about what the
Elders decided to do with him,” Sophia said. “My vote was for
calling the police, but I’m not a member of the council, so they
didn’t take me seriously.” Uriah’s mother nodded her head in
agreement. I hadn’t really considered what should happen to my dad.
A few hours ago I would have voted for the police as well.

“What did they decide?” I asked.

“Your father will be spending a considerable
amount of time working in the soup kitchens in Santa Fe, as well as
contributing his time to one of the youth programs there. The
Elders thought he needed a reminder that the needs of others are
often more important than our own,” Sophia said. “They should have
done it a long time ago if you ask me.”

Soup kitchens, youth programs, those
certainly were a punishment for my dad. I felt that the Elders had
judged him fairly. It almost made me laugh to think of my dad
donning an apron and serving the homeless of northeast New Mexico.
I honestly hoped it made a difference in his outlook. As far as the
youth program, punishment or not, I wasn’t thrilled with the idea
of my dad mentoring young minds.

“How long will he be…volunteering?” I
asked.

“Until the Elders decide he has learned his
lesson,” Sophia said.

The smirk on her face said she believed he
would be volunteering for the rest of his life. She was probably
right. I wasn’t sure my dad would ever change. Mention of the
Elders made me think of Quaile. I still wanted to speak with
Quaile, but when I had tried calling her again earlier that day,
there had been no answer, once again. She was clearly avoiding me.
I didn’t know why she was so convinced I had to hold off the bond
alone. All I knew was that at the rate I was going, if I didn’t get
some help soon, I wasn’t going to make it. The pull to be with
Daniel got stronger the longer I tried to resist it. The not so
subtle pulse to abandon Uriah ached inside of me every second of
the day. Thinking about it made it worse, constricting my chest to
the point that I had to stop eating for fear of it all coming back
up.

Fighting with my dad earlier kept Daniel out
of my head. Desperate for a reprieve, I spent the rest of the meal
acutely focused on my dad’s sentence. He deserved his punishment.
It was not only him that was being punished, though. I felt bad for
my mom. She was a good mother to me and Cole, doing what she could
to make up for her husband’s failings. I hoped that news of what he
had done stayed within the Elders, for her sake more than mine, but
I doubted it would.

Sophia reached for my plate, and I was
surprised to find it was empty. I didn’t remember starting to eat
again. “Thank you,” I said.

She took the dish from my hand and placed it
in the sink. She left my empty glass on the table, so I picked it
up and followed her over to the sink. Sophia started running water
for dishes. I offered to do it for her, and she almost stepped
aside before thinking better of it. She paused and stepped closer
to me. “Claire, go talk to Lina. It will help you both, but…”

I waited, but she didn’t finish her thought
right away. “But what?”

“I think you’re right. Lina knows more than
she’s telling you.”

15:
Fighting
It

“Claire, would you help me back to the living
room?” Uriah’s mother asked when I turned back to the table.

I jumped to her side. Instead of directing me
back to the rocking chair, Lina headed toward the couch. I wasn’t
sure why Sophia insisted on keeping the fire going in the middle of
summer. She claimed it would help Lina’s leg heal, but I couldn’t
see how. Most likely it was some way of keeping Lina nice and
sleepy, so she would rest her leg and not run off to brush the
horses when Sophia wasn’t looking. If that was the reason, it
didn’t work very well.

Lina propped herself and her leg up on
pillows. I handed her the book she had been reading, but she set it
aside. Her hand came up and touched the sleeve of my shirt, well
Uriah’s shirt.

“I remember when Uriah wore this,” she said
fondly. “He was so adorable in it.”

“I hope he doesn’t mind that I borrowed it,”
I said.

“He would love it,” Lina said. “He was twelve
years old when he wore this. Notah had been so excited to get him
into baseball that he signed him up to play in a city league in
Santa Fe. Twice a week they drove down to Santa Fe for practices
and on the weekends we all went down for his games. He was very
good.”

“Then why did he stop?” I asked. I knew he
had only played the one year in Santa Fe.

“He never said, but I think he felt bad about
how much time it took to make it happen. Uriah was always more
concerned with the needs of others than with his own. He still is,”
Lina said. “Notah tried to convince him to play the next year, but
Uriah said he would rather wait until high school when he could
play on the school team.”

“Well, the school teams were always glad to
have him,” I said. Uriah tried out every sport our small high
school had to offer at least once, and he had been amazing at every
one of them. His favorite would always be baseball, though, because
it was his dad’s favorite, too.

“He is so talented and intelligent, but he
never likes to admit it, does he?”

“No, he doesn’t,” I said. Sometimes Uriah’s
modesty was infuriating, but knowing it was an honest emotion, not
just a show, never let my irritation last long. “He never wants to
admit how handsome he is either. I don’t understand how he can’t
see that. Everybody else does.” Many of my girlfriends growing up
had sighed over Uriah, and dreamed about him at night. I still
couldn’t figure out how he had come to fall in love with me. I had
no special talents beyond making him laugh and hurting him every
time we touched. That last one certainly wasn’t a reason to seek me
out.

“I’m so glad he found you, Claire, or I guess
I should say you found him if I understand it right. You have been
so good for him, pushing him to try new things and open up to new
possibilities,” Lina said.

“Oh, I doubt I’ve done much at all. Uriah is
the one who has changed me. He’s so brave and calm no matter what
he’s facing. He is so strong,” I said. “If I weren’t too weak to
turn my back on the Twin Soul bond, Uriah would be here now.” I was
fighting hard not to cry again. I dug my nails into the palm of my
hand. The pain helped.

“What drew you to Uriah?” Lina asked. She was
no doubt trying to take my mind to happier places.

“I liked how Uriah was so kind to everyone.
He never teased or made fun of people. He was always willing to
help anyone who needed it,” I said. Even though my fear of him
controlling me like he did others kept me from ever making the
first move growing up, every time I saw him do something kind for
someone else my resolve weakened.

“What else?” Lina asked.

“When Uriah looks at me, I feel like he sees
every part of me, my faults, my talents, everything, and loves me
for exactly who I am. I had never felt that before getting to know
Uriah,” I said. “Even with Daniel, and the feelings the Twin Soul
bond has created, it feels nothing like what I feel towards Uriah.
Everything I feel for Daniel, it doesn’t seem real. It feels too
perfect. When Daniel looked at me, I felt like he was seeing
someone else, someone he thought he knew, or used to know, but not
me. Does that make sense?”

Lina nodded and smiled. “I have always wanted
to know what made you trick Jonny into going to the riverbank that
day. You knew Uriah would be there, didn’t you?”

I nodded with a smile. We had never really
talked before that day, but I knew a lot about Uriah. Most of my
girlfriends tried to date him, or at least befriend him, and were
always eager to spill the details of any time they spent with him.
I soaked it all up.

“Uriah came home with the most blissful look
on his face after spending the afternoon with you that day. When I
asked him how things had gone with you, he just smiled. When you
showed up a few days later and I saw a matching look on your face,
I knew I’d be seeing you a lot more often.”

I had thought of that day on the riverbank
almost every day since. The reason I steered Jonny toward Uriah was
really such a small one, but I still marveled at how it had changed
my life.

“Why did you end up at the riverbank?” Lina
asked, practically reading my thoughts.

“It really wasn’t a big deal,” I said. Lina
waited patiently. “We were on our way out to the bonfire to get
stuff set up for later that night. Johnny Begay was talking about
how his uncle was going to medical school to become a doctor. I
said that I had thought about becoming a doctor one day and he
starting laughing at me.”

It was just Jonny being a jerk, as usual, but
it really hurt me that day. “I was so mad at him that I smacked the
back of his head. He just looked at me and said, ‘Claire you’re too
pretty to be a doctor. Why don’t you just plan on marrying a doctor
instead?’ Then I really hit him, slapped him right across the
face,” I said. “Needless to say, Jonny didn’t appreciate that very
much. He started yelling at me and I told him to let me out. We
were close to the turn off to the river and I yanked on the
steering wheel just hard enough that it made him have to complete
the turn. I figured that’s where Uriah was, and I knew he would
never have said something like that to me.