Shared for Love (Kagan Wolves) (11 page)

Chapter Eleven

Us.

Noah’s heart skipped a beat before pounding hard. The confirmation he wasn’t sure he’d ever hear was twined into the two-letter word. He didn’t delude himself into thinking the path ahead would be easy, but Ethan laid the groundwork for them with one syllable.

Noah rested his fingers on Ethan’s ass, hoping to express how much it meant to hear. Ethan reached behind him, covered Noah’s hand and squeezed.

Noah’s eyes burned with a wave of emotions. He didn’t handle the strong ones well. Neither did Ethan. They knew they loved each other. They could show it. Tell each other too. They’d had years to come to terms with what it meant. No. It was the moments that came out of nowhere and blindsided him, stripping him raw and leaving him vulnerable, that rocked him. It was always something simple too—a look, a touch, a word. That was all it took to remind him how damn lucky he was to have Ethan in his life.

The male was everything to him, always had been, even when Mindy had lived. A friend, a confidant, a companion—Ethan had been the one Noah had turned to whenever he’d fought with Mindy. And when she died? Ethan had been the reason Noah stayed a member of the pack. Hell, Ethan had been the reason Noah continued breathing.

Guilt had consumed him over her death. He’d never felt her fear or her pain because he hadn’t soul-bonded to her. Shame filled him. He’d loved her, true mate or not. It wasn’t right that she’d suffered alone.

Another rough squeeze from Ethan chased away the horrid images. Noah rested his cheek against Ethan’s back and took comfort from him as Noah had for years. His partner. His rock. His everything.

And now we’re complete. We have Hannah.

Ethan released him and stepped forward, breaking the line of their bodies. Noah fought the urge to yank him back, needing their physical connection, needing him. He couldn’t push Ethan for too much, too fast. What Noah asked of him went against nature. Nowhere in the shifter community did any ménage exist. Sure, some humans romanticized their culture and made threesomes and more commonplace, but it wasn’t natural, and the truth of their lives wasn’t pretty.

They were a mistake—two souls forced to coexist in one body. Two, separate fucking species who wanted different things. That was their reality. So was knowing their greatest enemy was themselves. It was damn hard to run from your demons when the source of them shared your body. The one that tormented Ethan was a basic fundamental of their animal side—wolves did not share their mates.

What Ethan was willing to do for them made Noah love him more. Noah let the emotion settle over him. It chased all the debilitating memories back, the ones that had left him feeling like a failure and a fool. He couldn’t change the past, but he could right the wrongs committed. He would too. Hannah would help him and Ethan.

Noah shifted his attention to her. She stood half-naked with only her black skirt caressing her thighs. The loose material stopped inches above her knee. He wanted it off.

She reached behind her. The sound of a zipper coming undone filled the room. He held his breath and waited for the material to fall.

Ethan stopped her with a hand on her forearm. “Leave it. Just your underwear.”

She cocked a brow and shifted her gaze to Noah. He sighed, pleased she wanted to know his desires too. He gave a small nod, and she focused on Ethan. “Then you can take them off.”

With his hands on her hips, Ethan urged her to walk backward. The reason why became clear a moment later. He positioned her over the plush area rug so when she knelt she’d wouldn’t be on the hard floor. It left her in shadows. Noah moved closer to them, careful to stay out of Ethan’s line of sight.

Ethan dropped to his knees in front of her and ran his hands over her hips, down her thighs to her ankles. Her breaths quickened, and so did Noah’s. He couldn’t wait to see what he had touched.

Ethan skimmed the tips of his fingers up her legs, pushing her skirt higher. At her upper thighs, he stopped. He dragged his tongue over her skin, and Hannah pressed her lips together, stifling her whimper. She shifted restlessly against him. He grabbed her ass, holding her still, and continued teasing her with flicks of her tongue. The scent of her arousal filled the air.

Ethan eased back. With his gaze on Hannah’s face, he slid his hand under her skirt. Hannah inhaled sharply, and her eyes widened.

Noah fisted his dick to stop its twitching. Never had he been as aroused as he’d gotten watching Ethan kiss Hannah. Seeing their excitement had magnified his, but knowing he couldn’t touch them left him on edge and half-crazed. He couldn’t quite decide if he enjoyed the effect or not. He only knew he’d devour them once he got his hands on them.

He moved behind Ethan. “Let me see her.”

Ethan shoved her skirt higher, exposing her panties, and what he’d done to put the shocked look on her face. Ethan’s finger pushed the material between her lower lips much the same as Noah had earlier.

“She’s soaked, Noah.” Ethan hooked a finger around the crotch of her underwear. She shivered. “Sensitive too.”

Noah glanced at her face. She met his gaze, and the look she wore cranked his needs higher. “She needs to come.”

“Yes, and my plans for us tonight won’t give her any relief. It doesn’t seem fair.”

Noah swallowed hard. “No. It doesn’t.”

Ethan slipped her panties off. She kicked them aside, and he stood. Hands balled at his sides, he faced Noah. Tension radiated from Ethan, but determination flared in his eyes. “Get her off with your tongue, lover.”

“Are you sure that’s a good idea?” With the conflicting vibes radiating off Ethan, Noah wasn’t sure.

“Yes. I want to kiss her while you make her come.” Ethan stepped behind her and wrapped an arm around her waist, locking her body to his. He tipped her head back and gazed into her eyes. “He might get to taste you, but I’ll get your whimpers. I need them. I want to hear you lose control. Prove to my wolf you want Noah’s touch, that I want him to touch you.”

“Yes. Please. I want him.”

“You heard her, Noah. Take her.”

Noah dropped to his knees and ran his hands up her thighs, following the path Ethan had taken. Hannah’s need sweetened the air. Noah inhaled, drugging himself on the scent of her arousal. Eyes closed, he savored it. Her moan yanked his attention back to her. Ethan had wasted no time getting his mouth on her. He tipped her head back with a hand loosely circling her throat and kissed her hard.

Noah watched him a second more, then shoved Hannah’s skirt higher, exposing her sex. The arousal coating her cleft spoke of her desire. She was drenched. He swiped his finger through her folds. She rocked against him. He repeated the simple stroke, and she widened her legs, inviting him closer. He didn’t need any more encouragement.

He spread her lower lips. Pink and glistening, she was beautiful. She tempted him to fuck her with more than his tongue. His dick ached. He hadn’t been with a woman in so long. He missed the warmth of a female’s welcoming body, experiencing her softness, feeling her come apart around his cock. Not better than what Ethan could give him, just different. Noah wanted both, one after the other.

Heaven, that’s what I’ll find with them.
He’d lose himself in her. First, though, he wanted to fulfill his fantasy. Maybe he hadn’t agonized over it for months as Ethan had, but Noah craved it just the same.

He licked her cleft from the opening of her sex to her clit, not lingering at either. Her flavor hit his tongue, and he groaned. The hungers he kept at bay broke with the taste of her excitement. With his hands on her ass, he lifted her. Ethan helped. He tugged her higher, cradling her upper body. He kept kissing her, loving her mouth the way he’d promised and teasing her nipples.

The sight mesmerized Noah for a moment longer, but he turned his attention to making her come. He draped her thighs over his shoulders, opening her wide for his exploration.

He dragged the tip of his tongue over her lower lips before flicking her clit. She jerked, proving how very sensitive she was. He abandoned the hard bud, not ready to give her relief, and prodded her opening with his tongue. More arousal greeted him. He lapped it up, drinking of her pleasure. He gorged himself on her sweet and tangy flavor. It didn’t satisfy him. It only made him hungrier.

He squeezed her ass cheeks and thrust his flattened tongue into her. She cried out, but the noise was muffled by Ethan’s mouth. His pleased sound followed. Noah enjoyed hearing both. He needed more. He fucked Hannah with his tongue, piercing her over and over. More of her whimpers filled the room. She squirmed in his hold, pushing her drenched sex against his mouth.

He wanted to answer her unspoken demand, but on his terms. He wasn’t ready for her to find release. He tore his mouth from her lower lips and replaced his tongue with his fingers. Her body gripped them. She ground herself over them. He let her stimulate herself, but he didn’t help her. He wanted her to writhe for him.

She grabbed the back of Ethan’s head, pulled him closer and kissed him hard, taking her frustration out on him, not that Noah suspected his lover would view it as a punishment. Ethan loved to kiss, something Noah could take or leave, though he never turned Ethan away when he reached for him. Noah simply preferred to run his hands over Ethan’s body, marveling at the strength he held within and knowing the male belonged to Noah.

He rested his cheek along Hannah’s inner thigh while he lazily stroked her sex and realized he enjoyed the same with Hannah. He liked the way her core gripped his fingers, how she wiggled against him, the way her skin felt under his lips.

He turned his head and kissed her leg. She dug her heels into his back and made a carnal sound that betrayed her needs. Not muffled. He glanced up the length of her body and found Ethan’s wild gaze locked on him. Full fangs lowered, and the tips of his claws broke through the pads of his fingers.

“Does she taste good?” Ethan’s guttural voice gave the question a primitive edge.

Noah studied his lover a moment more but couldn’t quite decide if lust brought his primal side to the surface or jealousy. Noah suspected both. The fact that Ethan hadn’t attacked him was all that mattered. “Yeah. I think I’m addicted to her.”

Ethan motioned toward him with a jerk of his chin. “Then kiss her. I want her arousal on your face. In your mouth.”

Noah wanted the same. He lowered his head and licked her once more before focusing on her clit. He circled the bundle of nerves with his tongue, teasing it until it stood erect and sensitive. Another flick to her clit, and she writhed against him, pushing her sex against his face, exactly the response he’d wanted.

“Now, Noah. Do it now.”

With Ethan’s demand for completion and her silent one, Noah pressed a finger against her rear opening at the same time as he poised his tongue at the mouth of her sex. He heard her indrawn breath, obviously sensing what he’d do. He didn’t give her the chance to do more.

In one quick move, he pushed his finger into her tight asshole and thrust his tongue in her core. Her inner muscles clamped down, and her body stiffened. Her pleasured cry followed but was muffled a second later, no doubt by Ethan’s mouth. Noah pumped both his finger and tongue into her, dragging out her orgasm until her restless movements betrayed her growing discomfort, and she was overwhelmed by the stimulation.

He eased back on a groan but didn’t get to enjoy the moment. Ethan grabbed his arm and yanked him roughly to his feet. Noah stumbled, but Ethan curled his hand around the back of Noah’s head and pulled him close for a hard kiss, thrusting his tongue into Noah’s mouth and demanding he follow his lead. The pinch of Ethan’s sharpened nails in his scalp flipped the switch inside Noah, turning him from dominant to submissive.

It used to shock him how quickly they slipped from role to role, sometimes during sex. No longer did he question it. Noah accepted the need to submit and Ethan’s rough hold. Noah relaxed in Ethan’s embrace. He tugged Noah closer and ate at his mouth with the same intensity as he had Hannah’s. Noah relished it, even if he didn’t get the same out of it as Ethan did. Noah got to experience Ethan’s passion. That was enough.

Soft hands slid over Noah’s ass, while Ethan’s hard dick poked at his hip. Noah reached for Hannah and realized Ethan held them both. Noah slipped his hand between her legs, wanting to stimulate her too. Ethan beat him to it. He pumped his fingers into her. She whimpered and scratched at Noah’s ass. She was going to come again. He wanted to watch her. He pushed at Ethan’s shoulders.

Ethan broke their kiss. Noah got one glance at Ethan’s wild eyes before he captured Hannah’s mouth. The sounds of Ethan’s fingers smacking against her wet lips mixed with their heavy breaths. Noah savored it. He grabbed Hannah’s hand and entwined their fingers while Ethan sent her over the edge a second time.

Heaven. That was what Noah found holding Hannah’s hand. After the loss he’d suffered, he never thought he’d experience it again. Unconventional or not, he got a second chance at love and life, and he’d never let Hannah or Ethan go. Noah pitied anyone who thought to rip either away.

Chapter Twelve

The mixed signals coming from Ethan’s wolf matched his thoughts. He’d run the gamut of them since walking into his home, and he still wasn’t sure what the animal he housed desired. It wavered from looking at Noah with possession to wanting to attack him for getting too close to Hannah.

“That was perfect.” Hannah’s sated voice centered him.

Ethan let the conflicting emotions fade and focused on the female who’d awakened him. “It was. I never knew—”

The ringing of his cell phone stopped his words. The personalized ringtone told him who called—Maria. Though it wasn’t unusual for her to call—they were close friends—trepidation settled over him.

He glanced at Noah, letting him see everything he couldn’t say. He’d never gotten the chance to tell him of his meeting with Michael. Noah didn’t need an explanation. He’d sense the anxiety emanating from Ethan and react appropriately to it. A nod from Noah confirmed Ethan’s thoughts.

He moved toward the opposite side of the room and answered. “Maria? What’s wrong?”

“I need to talk to you. Are you home?”

He stiffened. “Yes, why?”

“Open the garage door for me. I’ll be there in five minutes.”

“No. You can’t come here tonight.” He couldn’t risk anyone finding out what he had done with Noah and Hannah.

“It’s important. I overheard your conversation with my father. I think he wanted me to listen in, so I knew what he had planned for me.”

The desperation in her tone made his choice. He couldn’t turn her away. The need to protect his pack mate was too strong. “I’ll meet you outside. We can go somewhere and talk.”

“Thank you, and I’m sorry I ruined your evening.”

He sighed. She had no idea how much. “It’s okay. Wait outside for me. Don’t come in.”

He ended the call, then faced Noah and Hannah. She held her top against her chest, while Noah had yanked sweats on and stood slightly in front of her as if ready to defend her. Both called to him on a primal level he no longer wanted to fight. His wolf would just have to learn to accept their arrangement. He wasn’t giving them up. “I’ve got to go. I’m sorry.”

Noah stepped forward. “What did Michael say to you?”

“He threatened me. I’ll explain later. Make sure Hannah gets home safely, and if anyone asks”—he shifted his gaze to her—“you came to discuss Riley’s pregnancy, nothing more. Do you understand? Nobody can find out about us or what we did tonight.”

“Okay. Sure.” She squeezed her eyes shut, not quickly enough to hide the pain in them. “I won’t tell.”

After the intimacy they’d shared, her reaction didn’t make sense. He’d told her he wanted her. He went to her and pulled her into his arms. She remained stiff in his embrace.

“Hannah, look at me.” He waited until she met his gaze. No warmth hovered in her eyes, confusing him more. He wanted to demand the reason behind her mood change, but their time was limited. They’d have to talk another day.

“I will mate you. Do not doubt me or my feelings for you.” He kissed her, slowly, reverently until she sighed and linked her arms around his neck. He loved her mouth a few moments more before forcing himself to release her. “But there are things you don’t know about me. I’ll explain everything soon. I promise. In the meantime, you need to trust me and keep our secret.”

“Both of them, right?” She glanced at Noah. “People won’t accept what Noah means to us.”

He looked at Noah too. Nothing showed on his face. He was holding his wants in check, giving Ethan the chance to accept the change in their relationship. His lover knew him well.

Ethan let the desire and love he felt for Noah show. One corner of Noah’s mouth lifted in a knowing smile. Ethan matched it. “They will after I become alpha. Any shifter who doesn’t like our arrangement can leave.”

Noah dipped his head, never breaking their gaze. “Go on, take care of Maria. I’ll make sure Hannah gets home safely.”

Ethan hesitated. He wanted to set some rules involving what Noah could do with Hannah when Ethan wasn’t around, but doing so would make Noah feel lesser than him, as if he didn’t have the same rights. The truth was—Noah didn’t, not exactly. He’d only ever be her lover, not her mate. Not the one who’d hold a piece of her soul. Not the one who’d fill her with life. His thoughts bothered Ethan. They felt wrong. He let it go for the moment. He didn’t have time to understand why.

“Okay.” He nodded to Noah, then stepped away from Hannah and rushed to the bathroom.

A quick shower later, and he emerged to find both Hannah and Noah dressed and waiting for him. Both greeted him with matching hunger in their eyes. The sight brought a smile to his lips. He could get used to seeing them in his bedroom.

He went to them, first trailing his fingertips down Noah’s arm, then brushing his lips over Hannah’s. He resisted pulling them into his embrace so as not to take their scent with him, but he couldn’t walk away without the contact.

Headlights cut an arc of light across the rear wall of the room, putting an end to their time together. He stepped back. “Stay safe.”

Walking away from them left him with an ache in his chest and a sense of worry. All the problems facing him returned in a rush. Not only did he have his position as pack alpha to secure, he had less than forty-eight hours to find Owen. He didn’t have time to devote to forming a bond with Hannah and Noah, but Ethan knew he had to do so. When he failed to save his only brother, he’d need their comfort.

No. I will save him and my pack mates. I will live up to my heritage.

He held his conviction close and slipped into the night. Maria waited in her SUV. He climbed into the passenger seat, and she threw the vehicle into drive, leaving his house and his lovers behind.

Though no tears flowed, her red-rimmed, puffy eyes and the blotches on her pale skin told him she’d spent time crying. Protective instincts flared. “Maria? What happened?”

“I’ve discovered hell in my own backyard.” She cut him an enraged look. “That’s what happened.”

She turned her attention to driving. Her white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel spoke of her anger. She merged onto the main road and drove toward the nearest human town. Once they left their pack lands, she slumped in her seat.

He waited quietly a few more minutes for her to explain. She worked her jaw back and forth but remained silent. He laid a hand on her upper arm. “Talk to me. What’s wrong?”

“I heard my father. What he said to you.” She pulled over into the parking lot of a boarded-up coffee shop, then faced him. “It triggered a memory from years ago, right before Owen took off.”

Maria would’ve been ten. Ethan remembered her from that time. She’d been quiet and watchful. Many of the other shifters questioned her strength. Not all of Michael’s children were dominants. Ethan had argued that she was the wisest and would grow up to be the strongest. She knew better than to draw unwanted attention to herself. He’d been right.

“What kind of memory?”

“He was talking to
Greg
.”

The venom in her voice was clear. Ethan knew why too. Greg, another dominant in their pack, wanted to mate Maria and had been pursuing her ever since Michael’s last son died. Nobody actually believed Greg’s interest in Maria was genuine. He was an opportunist who only wanted a strong female at his side so he could challenge Michael for the role of alpha.

Honestly, Ethan was surprised Greg hadn’t suffered a tragic accident. Michael didn’t tolerate any threats to his holdings. Ethan suspected that would change the moment Greg acted on his interest in Maria. Or any dominant female for that matter. Then again, Greg had been doing Michael’s dirty work for decades. Michael might’ve been hesitant to lose a flunky.

She cleared her throat. “My father asked him if the delivery of the fresh meat had been successful and what they got for him. It had seemed odd since we don’t own a butcher shop, so of course I’d snuck closer to listen.”

He grinned. “Of course.”

“Greg looked as if he’d been in a fight. Blood still dripped from cuts on his chest. He’d motioned toward his wounds and said after the buyers saw what the little prick did to him, he was able to sell him in the pit fights.”

His gut twisted. Shifter trafficking had grown in popularity since the pack elders reached out to the human leaders. There was no evidence humans were responsible for the disappearances. Many factors could’ve contributed to it. The timing made many shifters leery, however. It was one of the reasons some packs refused to disclose their existence and remained hidden.

“Do you think he was talking about Owen?”

“At the time, I thought he was talking about dogs. I loved him. He was my dad, the pack alpha, and respected by all.” She shook her head. “I was a damn fool. Anyway, the reason I remember the conversation was that he warned Greg that if the little bastard died, so would Greg because you needed to be kept in line.”

He sat up straighter. “What else did he say? Any hints about where the pit fighting was?”

“No, I’m sorry. I slipped away once they started going over cash flow and the debt our pack has amassed.”

He cursed, and the sick feeling in his stomach spread. Owen was strong, but he walked the line between dominant and beta. It was the reason he’d been so resentful after learning about Ethan’s parentage. He and Owen had fought about it the night he took off. Ethan hated that Owen had felt less of a male because he’d been born to a beta family.

Ethan glanced out the window. Owen could be anywhere. Maybe even dead. Ethan shoved away the thought. He refused to assume the worst. Owen wasn’t weak. He hesitated before acting, thinking through his choices. It wasn’t a bad habit, just one that pushed him to a lower level in the pack.

He faced Maria. “How the hell am I supposed to find Owen before the full moon?”

“You’re going to challenge my father even if you don’t, aren’t you?”

“Yes. I have to. I can’t allow him to live any longer.” He didn’t fear telling Maria of his plans. She was one the few people he trusted. Had he been attracted to her, they would’ve mated years before.

And if I did, I would’ve missed out on Hannah and lost Noah.
When he thought of it that way, his lack of interest in females became a blessing. For so long, he viewed taking a mate as a means to secure his role, not as a gift. He’d been a fool.

Maria studied him, then sighed. “You were with Hannah tonight, not Noah. You’re going to mate her.”

He nodded, not bothering to correct her assumption. She didn’t need all the details of his private life. Nobody did, not until he could ensure both his partners would be safe. “I love her.”

“And Noah? Does he know he’s going to be losing you?”

“He knows about Hannah.” He squeezed her hand. “Thank you for telling me what you remembered. At least I know in which direction to focus my efforts.” Not that it would help. He was a lawyer. Nobody who worked in illegal businesses would tell him anything.

“There’s more.” She leaned forward. “That night I heard them talking, I watched as my father opened a safe in the living room. He took out ledgers and books. That’s what he started going over with Greg. I never tried to get into the lockbox because I didn’t care about money or our debt. I was a kid, then I forgot about it.”

“Where in the living room?” It’d be risky getting in there, but he had to try.

“Don’t even think about it. I got in there already. Took pictures of what I found.” She popped the glove box and grabbed a small digital camera, an inexpensive kind that could be found in many department stores. She handed it to him. “I didn’t want to use my phone.”

Because Michael demanded the passwords to all of her accounts and randomly confiscated her phone and computer. He didn’t trust her any more than she did him. Only her mother kept them from going at each other’s throats.

Quiet as Maria had been as a child, Michael’s mate did her best to rein him in. Ethan knew. They’d both worked behind the scenes to manipulate Michael as much as they could. At least, she wouldn’t die with him. He refused to soul-bond to her. She’d told Ethan that one day out of the blue. Probably so he wouldn’t feel bad when he took out her mate.

He curled his fingers around the cheap plastic. “Thank you, but you shouldn’t have risked it.”

She motioned toward the camera he held. “I’m glad I did. We might be able to find the rest of our pack mates who
deserted
us.”

While some members had legitimately left, others had simply disappeared. Most of their pack mates believed, as he did, that Michael was responsible, but they could never find any hard evidence. Those who did question him went on to suffer accidents. Fear had crippled their pack.

“I hate him.” Her eyes took on a hard glint. “It disgusts me knowing I carry his genes.”

“He wasn’t always a bad alpha.”

“True but one night he snapped. He’s unstable. It makes me wonder if I hold the same evil inside me.”

“He didn’t snap.” He sighed. “The spirit wolf wanted him to pass on the role of alpha to another male.”

“To you.” She whipped her head to stare at him wide-eyed. “You matured that night.”

He sighed. “But I couldn’t become alpha then. Maybe it was just prepping Michael for the inevitable day. I don’t know. No matter. Michael decided to take it upon himself to figure out why the spirit wolf was unhappy with him and—”

“He came to the conclusion our pack was weak. That it needed to be
cleansed
.”

Anger radiated from her. And hurt. She truly had loved her father and felt betrayed by him. Ethan knew that. She told him many times. He ran a hand over her messy hair. “You can’t pick your family, Maria. You’re nothing like him. Remember that.”

She scrubbed at her eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I know. Neither are my sisters. Alex tells me that all the time.”

“What’s going on with the two of you?”

“Nothing. He won’t accept what I can give him.”

“And what about after the full moon? I’m sure Nic will welcome you into his pack and bless your union under the light of the full moon.”

While not technically a mating, a union sanctified in the ceremonial circle equated marriage, at least in the pack’s eye. That was what Nic’s dad, Nicholas, had done when he’d blessed a same-sex partnership years before.