Shadow's Stand (39 page)

“So, what needs settling?”

Fei scooted up behind him on the bed. Against his back he felt the bunching of the sheet and the softness of her skin. Her touch on his shoulder was gentle. Soothing. A direct contrast to the tension emanating from the others.

“Where you go from here,” Caine drawled.

“I thought I’d take Fei to San Francisco.”

“No,” Fei gasped.

“To see your family,” Shadow told Fei over his shoulder. “Not to stay.”

“Told you he’d run,” Zach observed.

“Going for a visit is not running,” Shadow snapped.

“I don’t want to visit,” Fei countered.

“Your family is important.”

Fei scooted higher. “So is yours.” She was as determined as the expression on Tracker’s face.

“He’s done with running,” Tracker stated in that low, no-nonsense tone that meant business.

“Have you forgotten? I’m a wanted man.”

“All the more reason to come home.”

Home.
The word hung between them. Tempting. Forbidden.

“You know that’s not possible. I can’t endanger—”

Fei kissed his shoulder and slipped her hand over his mouth, surprising him into silence. He could feel the shake of her head in the rocking of her lips against his skin. “He really cannot help it,” she said over his shoulder to Caine. “It is not that he does not love you all. It is just that a dragon cannot change who he is.”

With a nip, he freed his mouth. Catching Fei’s hand in his before she could jerk it away, he pressed a kiss on the back. “I can handle this.”

“I was just—”

“What he is is Hell’s Eight,” Caine interrupted.

Sam and Zach nodded.

“Never said I wasn’t.”

“Wouldn’t know it from the way you act,” Tracker growled.

Fei’s nails bit into his shoulder.

The power of love goes both way. You cannot be the only force.

Sitting here looking at the men who were his brothers in battle and life, he could begin to grasp the importance of those words. If it was Tracker who was being hunted by the law, and he had the compound of Hell’s Eight to rely on, Shadow would want to be by his side. Where he could protect him.

Being protected does not mean you are weak. It means you are loved.

Shit. How had he not understood before now?

“Hell’s Eight is where Shadow belongs.”

“The army is going to disagree with that,” Shadow pointed out.

Caine smiled that cold, bring-on-the-world smile that was a battle cry in itself. “And if the army has a problem with that, they’re welcome to come discuss it.” His hand dropped to the butt of his revolver. “At any time.”

Tucker and Zach dropped their hands to their knives. Sam cocked his rifle. “Any time.”

“Any arguments?” Tracker asked, his eyes meeting Shadow’s.

Quite a few, but none that would be accepted. “If you harbor me, you’ll be declaring war on the United States,” he pointed out, trying for logic.

Sam pulled Colonel Daniel’s book from his pocket. “I see it as a disagreement started by a colonel who’s taken too many battle wounds.”

“You really think you can sell that?” Shadow asked.

“Shit.” Tucker handed Shadow back his knife. “Sam could sell kindling in a forest fire.”

“And the government needs us here more than they need you dead,” Caine finished.

That was true enough. And with more settlers coming out here stirring up trouble with the Indians and tensions building with the southern states, the government needed all the help it could get in the West.

“Hell’s Eight’s a mighty handy friend to have right about now,” Tucker added. “And if we manage to come back in a few months, salvage some of that gold out of Fei’s claim, we can sweeten the pot.”

“Yes,” Fei agreed. “It should be used for a fresh start.” Sliding around his body, clutching the sheet to her chest, her heart, her hope a silent plea in her beautiful eyes, she said, “Your family wants you home, my husband.”

He looked at the men of Hell’s Eight. Men he’d grown up with. Fought with. Survived with. Big men, scarred inside and out by the battles they’d waged. Men who’d go to hell and back for those they loved. Men who’d known the worst, and never expected better. Their bond had been forged in youth amidst pain and blood. A year and a half ago, he’d made the decision to sacrifice himself for two of those men. He’d made that decision alone. Without consulting anyone. He’d done it because it’d been the right thing and because he hadn’t seen a future for himself. He’d do it again in a heartbeat. But if he
had
to do it over again, he wouldn’t have just left without a word. He wouldn’t have left his family with such worry.

Sliding his fingers through Fei’s hair, Shadow stroked his thumb along her mouth.

“So I see.”

A year and a half ago he hadn’t thought love was for him, let alone grasped how much a smile could mean to him, but now Fei kissed his thumb and tucked herself into the curve of his body where she belonged, next to his heart. Now he was loved, by a woman as wild and reckless in her own way as he was in his. He remembered the moment when the tunnel was caving in on him and he’d thought it was the end, the grip of her hand on his ankle when he’d thought she was safely out. The terror that grip brought. The hope. The love. It’d all crashed in on him in one blinding second of realization, ripping down the wall he’d built between himself and the world, leaving him with certain knowledge that he wasn’t in control. It’d scared the shit out of him. It still did.

Everyone has their destiny.

Accepting that was going to take a lifetime, but he’d made Fei a promise and he had to start somewhere.

“So what are you going to do about it?” Tracker asked, the very blankness of his expression communicating how much the answer meant to him.

Holding Fei in his arms, holding his brother’s gaze with his, Shadow pried himself loose from the knee-jerk response of the past. Fei was right about destiny. No matter what the future held, he was Hell’s Eight. That’s how he’d lived and that’s how he’d die. He stood. Fei scooted back, her gaze burning into his back as he pulled on his pants.

“Well?” Sam asked.

“Shadow?” Fei whispered.

He turned at the uncertainty in her tone, and ran the back of his fingers down her cheek, seeing the same uncertainty in her eyes. “Would you like to see my home, honey?”

Her smile shook just a little and he understood how much she’d still feared he’d turn, backward, away from her. Damn, he had some bridges to mend there. Fortunately, he had a lifetime to make it right. Shit, when had he become a man who thought in terms of lifetimes?

“Very much.”

Touching his thumb to her mouth, he steadied her with a soft press. “Good, because I want it to be yours, too.”

Her breath caught a second before her smile broke over him like sunshine. “That would make me happy.”

He knew the exact place he’d build their home. The level spot just above the main house. He always felt as if he could see the world from up there. His world. The one he wanted to share with Fei.

“We could get married in the garden.”

Her breath caught again. “We are already married.”

He shook his head. “I want a ceremony I know damn well is legal.” He leaned down and kissed her mouth because he couldn’t not and then whispered for her alone, “And this time I want the memory of your vows said with that same softness you say my name after we make love.”

She blushed a fiery red, but his Fei wasn’t a woman to run away from her dreams, and for some reason he didn’t understand but would always be grateful for, she’d decided he was hers. “Oh, yes. I would like that memory, too.”

If his family wasn’t here, he’d lay her on the bed and make the sweetest love to her. They way he always planned to but never managed to make happen. Maybe on their wedding night. For now he only had words. “Damn, I love you.”

It came out harsher than he’d intended. Fei still looked as if he’d handed her the purest gold. Maybe she really did understand him.

“I love you, too.”

Her lips shaped the words
My dragon,
so only he could see. And it was his turn to smile. However she saw him, it was good.

“Guess that means we won’t need the shackles,” Tucker cut in.

“Or those chains,” Zach added.

Shackles and chains? Shadow turned back to the others. “Son of a bitch, just what exactly were you planning on doing if I said no?”

It was Tucker who answered. “Whatever it took.”

“Shit.” Shadow believed him. He looked to Caine for confirmation.

Caine just shrugged. “You’ve been gone long enough.”

“Place just isn’t the same without you stirring things up,” Sam added.

Fei held the sheet around her and came to his side, reminding him with a touch of all that was important. His Fei. His destiny. Pulling her close, he looked to Tracker. His brother nodded.

“It’s time.”

Yeah, it was. Time to let the past find its peace. Time to move forward with a new direction.

“Then let’s go home.”

* * * * *

ISBN: 9781459220386

Copyright © 2012 by Sarah McCarty

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