Shadow (A Bad Boy Romance): The Hoods MC (19 page)

Chapter Twenty Three

Sky

As soon as I left the clubhouse behind, I wondered if I had made a mistake. Shadow was reckless and impulsive. What if my leaving him for the second time meant that he was going to do something really dangerous? No matter what I said or did, he was going to go after that daycare pedophile and try to kill him. All because Shadow had been molested as a child by his foster father. What if he took off and found the guy? What if things went horribly wrong? Could I ever forgive myself if he had been too distracted by our breakup to defend himself?

But what was the point in going back? He would never change. I couldn't change him. For Christ’s sake, he used to be a contract killer for the mob to fund his drug addiction! He wasn’t a good guy. He wasn't the one for me.

My thoughts all in turmoil, I walked away from the clubhouse in search of a homeless shelter. I did not need my sister's judgment right now. She hated Shadow and had been trying to convince me to leave him since we reconnected. Maybe I'd call her in a day or two, but for right now, I just needed some space to be by myself and to sort through my own issues. Not too long ago, after I had left Shadow the first time, a car had hit me. It had taken me months to learn how to walk and talk again, and I hadn't remembered anything about my past. I had no idea who I was. And then, after I was discharged, two guys tried to kidnap me.

That was when Shadow had reentered my life. He claimed that we had dated, and his knowledge of my body proved it. But I had added to his scars, and he had tried to scare me off by killing a pedophile right in front of me.

I had been given a second chance at life, so I thought he deserved one too, and I had tried to get through to him, to get him to stop killing, to figure out if there couldn't be a healthier way for him to release his stress and tension and anger. Plus he had saved me. Maybe I could save him in return.

So I went back to him, only to learn about the contract killings. No way could I forgive him for being a hired gun, even if it had been in the past. At least he wasn't doing drugs anymore either, but still…

The farther away I walked from the clubhouse, the more bits and pieces of my memory came back to me. I spied an empty bench on the sidewalk. I claimed it, leaned my head back, and closed my eyes. Shadow had always been a hot, sexy, biker dude, but he also had another side to him. He could be tender and sweet. He'd told me several times he wasn't the romantic kind of guy. That I should never expect chocolate and roses from him. But, I was now able to remember that he would take me to the clubs that played the music I liked and he hated and we would often go to restaurants I picked. Small tokens of his love. Once upon a time, before he had divulged to me his being a contract killer, I had daydreamed about him proposing. I had figured we would spend the rest of our lives together. I had wanted to marry him.

So not going to happen now. He might have a Wonder Cock like Marie called it, but he wasn't going to get into my pants again.

With a start, I realized my cheeks were wet. I was crying. It didn't make me feel any better. If anything, I felt lost. I felt all alone, and I couldn't help wondering if Shadow felt that way too.

Maybe a homeless shelter was passed the clubhouse in the other direction. Sure, I was making an excuse to go back, but I wouldn't go inside. One last look. That was all.

The back of my hand wiped away my tears, and I dried my hands on the sky blue shirt Shadow had given me. When I was in the hospital, I hadn't been able to remember my name, so I started to go by Sky. My real name was actually Allie, and even though I was getting Allie's memories back, I didn't feel like I was the same girl. Sky suited me just fine.

I had dragged myself away from the clubhouse, but now that I was heading back toward it, I picked up the pace only to halt when I realized Shadow's bike wasn't parked out front anymore. He
had
taken off. As much as I wanted to hope that he hadn't gone after the pedophile, I knew that he had.

Worry and fear—two strong and controlling emotions—forced me back into the clubhouse. Several of his biker buddies were sitting around, talking and laughing, but they fell silent when I walked in.

"Where's Shadow?" I demanded.

They glanced at each other and shrugged.

"We aren't his keeper," one of them said. He had the largest unibrow I'd ever seen.

I took a deep breath and exhaled it noisily. "Is his father still here?"

His father—his birth father, not his asshole foster father—had been the one to inform me about Shadow being a contract killer. For better or for worse, I knew the whole truth now. Not even when Shadow had told me about it himself the first time, before I had lost my memory, had he been completely honest with me. He never mentioned the drugs to me back then. Only now was I able to see the hell that had been his past. And it was no small wonder that he was so screwed up, but that he refused to even consider changing…

"Well?" I bit out. "Is his father—"

"Nope." A bald man spoke up, entering the room from the bar. "He left."

I grabbed my phone out of my back pocket. "Anyone know his number?"

Baldy…. Ratched! That was his name. My memory really was coming back. And the guy with the unibrow was called Eyebrow. So original.

Ratched pulled out his phone and read off the numbers for me.

"What's going on?" Eyebrow asked.

I twisted my lips into a smile. "Don't worry about it."

"You've been acting a little different lately," Ratched said.

I winked at him. "Don't you worry about me. I'm fine. Shadow's fine."

"Didn't sound like you were fine," Eyebrow muttered.

Our fight had been loud and definitely not private. I winced. "We all make mistakes," I said softly.

With that, I left the clubhouse again and dialed Shadow's father.

He picked up on the third ring. "Hello?"

"Hi, this is… Allie." I had given him my old name, not my new one when we had talked earlier.

"Allie, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to… I thought you already knew, I swear I did. I never would've told you otherwise."

I didn't have time for his apology. "Shadow took off. I… I know I just left him…" Again. "But I'm worried and, well…"

"I'm just down the block. I'll be right back."

It didn't take him long at all to return with his car. It felt so weird to have a seatbelt on. Shadow only ever drove his bike, and I already missed the wind blowing my hair back and feeling his hard body against me. Riding on his bike was amazing and such a turn on.

I shook that delicious thought away. "How can we find him?"

"Easy, so long as he has his cell on. We can…"

And he went on and on about apps, and my eyes glazed over. I wasn't quite sure of all of the details, and I didn't care about technology. Just finding Shadow. Once I learned he was all right, I could move on with my life. I would find a job, get myself a place, buy food and clothes…

"Ah, there we go." His father plugged the address into his GPS and floored it.

I gripped the door handle.
Like father, like son.
Shadow rode his bike, crazy fast too.

Soon, we pulled up to a run-down apartment building. "What floor?" I asked. The building had five stories.

"Don't know. The app isn't that precise." He shook his head ruefully.

I walked around the side of the building. Some bushes were smashed, covered with broken glass, and there were some bloody footprints. I followed them, but the trail ended quickly.

Fear making my heart pound, I glanced up to see a balcony whose door was shattered. I pointed to it. "Look."

"Third floor. Let's check it out."

I nodded, my throat too tight for me to respond.

We rushed inside and took the stairs. The sound of sirens could be heard, but they were far away yet. I had to assume they were coming here. The police. Shadow. If he were caught, he'd be sent to jail for a long, long time.

With his long legs, Shadow's father beat me up the stairs, and we rushed past the closed doors on either side of the hallway. Only one was open. Room 328. His father went in first, and it took me until now to realize he was holding a gun. I almost felt safer for it.

"Uh, Allie…"

I entered the room behind him and stared at the dead man bleeding onto the carpet. Was he the pedophile? Had Shadow killed him?

In a daze, I whirled around.

That was when I saw him. Shadow. Face down on the carpet and bleeding just as profusely as the other guy.

I dropped to my knees beside him. So many thoughts jumbled in my mind, but I couldn't voice any of them. I couldn't breathe. What do we do? The sirens were getting louder. They were definitely headed this way.

Wide-eyed, I stared at his father.

Wordlessly, he shoved his gun into the back of his pants, tossed me his car keys, and slung Shadow onto his back. He rushed out the door.

I could only follow him.

"Take my car. Follow me." Grunting, Shadow's father situated himself and his son onto Shadow's bike and took off.

Hands trembling, I raced to the car. It took me two tries to get the key into the ignition, but then I was off, chasing him. I couldn't see clearly. Tears blurred my vision, and a few times, cars honked at me, but I kept on driving, watching the bike in front of me, staring at Shadow…

All of a sudden, the bike veered sharply to the right. My tires screeched as I followed. We were at a hospital. Thank God, but won't they call the police? I hadn't seen enough of Shadow's wounds to know for certain, but I was still positive he'd been shot… Maybe even more than once considering all of that blood…

My parking job was terrible, but I couldn’t care less and hopped out of the car and rushed over to the bike. Shadow's father was already walking to the door.

"Won't they—"

He cut me off. "The club always uses this hospital. It's private, and they won't report him. Just follow my lead."

In a mind-numbing blur, I trailed behind him inside the hospital and watched as the nurse jumped to her feet to grab a wheelchair. When she noticed the bullet holes—damn, he
had
been shot multiple times!—she exchanged it for a gurney. A doctor and then another one approached, and they wheeled him away.

I sank to the floor, my arms covering my head. I was back to crying again.

A hand touched my shoulder.

I glanced up but couldn't see through the haze of tears.

"They're taking him to surgery. All we can do is wait." Shadow's father sat in the chair closest to me. "At least I don't have to fill out any paperwork," he muttered. "Just told him he has no medical conditions, no medicine allergies, and what his blood type is. They don’t need anything else."

I remained on the floor, not wanting to move, not wanting to feel. Even though I had just left Shadow, I didn't want him to die. Grief overwhelmed me. In the hospital, depression had been my only companion, but grief was a thousand times worse. It prickled at you, sharp and constant, needling away at your soul. If he died… He wouldn't die, right? He couldn't. He had to survive.

Had my fear come true? Had he been distracted because of me? Or had he decided life wasn't worth living anymore? That he couldn't take any more pain and disappointment from people he thought had cared for him? His scars ran so deep, and he had so many demons. Did he want to die?