Seems Like Old Times (14 page)

 "Hello, Ben. How are you today?"

 
"Fine.
Look." He
held out a small metal car. "It's a Porsche 911, turbo charged cabriolet,
with a slope nose and front and rear spoilers."

"My goodness!
You do know a
lot about cars." It was hard not to respond to his contagious enthusiasm.

"I know all about Porsches. I'm going to own a whole
bunch when I get big--maybe when I'm sixteen. My dad said I can't drive until
then. There are some neat fish in that pond over there. Do you want to see
them?"

"Fish?
Oh, okay."

She was glad for an excuse to leave Cheryl’s family, and
happily walked to the pond with Ben. Or, more correctly, followed him. He ran
ahead and it was only because he looked back to be sure she was coming that she
knew he expected her company.

When she caught up to him, he was standing on a flat
stone, bending forward and peering into the pond. She put her hand on his
shoulder, fearful he might tumble head first into the water.

"Do you know what those are?" Ben pointed.

She bent forward almost as far as the boy. "Oh, God,
we had to learn their names in the sixth grade, I think. Let's see. They're
mostly varieties of goldfish, as I recall."

"Except for the sturgeon and the blue whale," a
familiar voice added.

She straightened and
turned,
a
smile on her lips at the sound of Tony's voice, a smile that grew broader at
the sight of him in a turquoise tank top that showed off
well
tanned
, muscular shoulders and gave a blue shininess to the rich black
of his hair. But her smile fell away quickly when she noticed a young woman
clutching his arm. The woman was short, with auburn hair and brown eyes, and
had the kind of body that men got whiplash following. Her white stretch
halter-top and the jeans she must have been poured into only enhanced the
effect. She had a soft, cuddly look, with plenty to cuddle.

"Hi, Dad.
Hi, Trish,"
Ben called. "Lisa's gonna tell me all about the fish."

"You must be Lee Reynolds," Trish said, with a
breathy catch to her voice. "The whole town is talking about you. I've heard
about your fame since I was a little girl, and to think you're here now!"

Lee smiled at the young woman while contemplating tossing
her into the pond.

"Let me introduce you two," Tony said. "Lee
Reynolds, Trish Hollingsworth." There was an odd expression on his face,
then
it vanished so quickly that it could have been her
imagination.

Lee cast a puzzled glance at Tony, so foreign was it to
hear him refer to her as Lee.

"So nice to meet you," Trish said. "My
goodness, you're not nearly as old as I imagined." Lee was stunned. At
least when Miriam was told almost the same thing, it was a compliment. The
young woman smiled sweetly while leaning against Tony as if she were in danger
of swooning in awe.

Lee's teeth ached. She regarded Trish with unflappable coolness.
"It's always a pleasure to meet a fan," she said placidly. "How
fortunate you came along. Ben and I were just discussing slimy things...in the
pond."

While Trish was still trying to decide whether she'd just
been insulted, Lee gave her and Tony a dismissive smile and turned back toward
the water.

Tony choked back a cough and walked to Lee's side. She
glanced again at his turquoise tank top and jeans, and grew acutely aware of
the amount of bare flesh close to her, and of how well formed and muscular his
upper torso had grown. She looked at his dusky, mysterious eyes, at his mouth.
The mouth that had taught her how to kiss.

He seemed to stare at the pond with singular intensity,
hands on back pockets of his cut-offs, feet spread so his weight was evenly
balanced. She tried not to glance at him, tried to concentrate on the fish, but
inside she was a tumult of emotions, not the least of which was chagrin that
she had stooped to exchanging jabs with the woman he was obviously involved
with. She had no right.

"The big black one is a carp." Tony pointed at
it, his bare arm disturbingly close to hers.

"That's right. I remember now." She sidestepped
away from him.

Tony drew back, irritated with himself for feeling upset
at her coldness toward him, her obvious withdrawal. Christ, but he was a fool.
He’d spent the whole week thinking about her, first with curiosity after seeing
her at Ben’s game, then with much more after talking at Big Bob’s and the Pizza
Palace. A few moments of clarity hit and he knew he was setting himself up for
a big letdown when she left. But that hadn’t been enough to keep him from
standing too close to her in a darkened parking lot, or from dreaming about her
at night in his empty bed.

He gazed at her calm, disinterested profile a moment.
She’d surprised him again when he joined the picnic and saw her surrounded by
admirers. His vow to stay clear of her lasted pretty long, too...until he saw
Ben standing with her, talking with her, right where he wanted to be.

"When I heard Ben was over this way, I was worried
because of the pond," he said, trying to offer some reason for his
presence, any excuse but the real one.
I miss you, Lisa.
"I see
he's in good hands. I guess I’ll get going. Don't be a pest, Ben."

"It was good to see you today, Tony.
And Trish."
She gave each a nod. They said their
good-byes. Lee faced at the pond, as the couple walked away, but not too many
seconds passed before she peeked in the direction they had gone. His arm was
casually draped around Trish’s shoulders, her arm around Tony's hips, her thumb
hooked onto the belt of his jeans, and her fingers splayed almost to his hip
joint.

How could he allow that ridiculously young...

Tony glanced back over his shoulder and caught Lee's eye.
She snapped her head toward the pond once more, but not before she felt her
face turn a fiery red.

Soon, she and Ben returned to the picnic area. Cheryl and
company were engrossed in conversation, and Lee decided not to disturb them.
She spread out one of the blankets Miriam had brought. She sat and Ben joined
her.

He told her about school, about his friends, about
baseball, and a whole lot about Porsches. After a while, he raced off to play
with other kids.
A couple of minutes later, though, he was
back.
"I thought you might not want to be alone," he said,
joining her on the blanket once more. "I think a lot of people here are
kind of scared of you ‘
cause
you’re on TV."

 His perception astonished her, and warmth spread
through her at his thoughtfulness. "I’d love your company, Ben. But I don’t
want to stop you from playing with your friends if you'd like."

He wrapped his arms around his knees. "No. I can play
with those kids any time. Anyway, you're okay to talk to."

A dozen locks couldn't have stopped her heart from opening
to him at that moment.

"If you wait here, Lisa, I’ll get a surprise for
you."

"A surprise?"

He scampered off again, and in a little while he returned,
carrying tiny lavender and pink wild flowers.

He held them toward her. "
Here.
"

"Oh, Ben."
She felt a
tightening in her throat and held the few scrawny flowers as gently as if they
were precious jewels. "They're beautiful."

His chest puffed up. "I'd have picked some of the big
flowers, but the people at the park would get mad. I scraped my arm."

"You what?" she said, not used to his sudden
jumps from one subject to another.

"See?" He lifted his arm. Right below the elbow
was a scrape.

"Oh, dear!"

"I fell."

She carefully
lay
the flowers on
the ground, then rocked herself up and onto her knees so she could look at the scrape
more closely. It was very small, and there was no blood. She kissed the first
two fingers of her own hand,
then
lightly pressed her
fingers just to the side of his wound.

"What are you doing?" Ben asked.

She sat back on her heels. "That was a kiss to make
it better. I'll bet it already doesn't hurt nearly as much."

He stared hard at the scrape,
then
sat facing her on the blanket. He crossed his legs Indian style. "Hey,
you're right."

"I guess your dad doesn't do that."

"Heck, no."
He laughed.

"What about your mother?"

His eyes wavered,
then
dropped to
his lap. "I never see her. I don't think she likes me much."

Her gaze snapped to Ben’s face, not believing what she had
heard. But the stubborn set of his chin told her she had heard exactly right.
She had so little experience with children she didn't know what to say or do.
All she knew was if she had a child this fine, he never would doubt her love.

Awkwardly, she reached her hand out and ran her fingers
through his black, wavy hair. It was thick, soft and shiny, and felt warm
beneath her fingers. "I'm sure she loves you, Ben. I hardly know you and
already, I think you're just about the best boy I've ever met."

He lifted his eyes to her.
"Really?"

"Cross my heart and hope to die."

Ben laughed. "Grown-ups don't say that!"

She grinned. "But it's true."

He studied her face. "Could you come to another one
of my games?"

Once again, he surprised her. "Well, I would like to,
but I've got to go back to New York on Tuesday."

"Hey, cool! My next game is Monday after school. You
can come! It's kind of nice to have someone I know in the stands. Some kids
have whole bunches of people."

"I see," she murmured.

Lee noticed his gaze hungrily following a boy carrying a
soccer ball.

"Looks like a game's going to start," she said.
"How would you like to see what's happening down there for me,
Ben?"

"Sure!" He jumped up and ran off again. Lee's
smile slowly faded as she watched him go, the words he had spoken settling into
her heart.

Alone again, she sighed and looked over the crowd. Her
aunt was still with Gene
Cantelli
, laughing and
having a good time. Cheryl was in the middle of her family, holding one of her
nieces in her arm while seeming to be watching all the other children at the
same time. Ben talked with a group of boys in a nearby meadow.

Rarely was she around children in Manhattan, and it was
even rarer for her to talk with one. But she enjoyed Ben's company. A child
like that could be wonderful.
Someone to love with no
reservations, no hesitancy or fear.
Someone to open her heart to, and
let pour out all the feelings she kept so carefully locked inside.

She leaned forward, her elbow on her knee and her chin
resting on her hand as she watched Ben's soccer game slowly form.

Bruce didn't much like kids. It was one of the many things
that attracted her to him. Their plans had centered
around
career and travel, and left little time for anything else. They would have each
other, and that was enough. She had no desire to have his--or any man's--child.

She took off her hat and tucked Ben's flowers neatly into
the band, folded the blanket, then, carrying both, walked back to the pond. She
soon found herself on the far side of it, far from where people might pass, and
where she wouldn't feel so conspicuous being alone at a picnic filled with
families. She plopped down on some dry grass under an oak tree, kicked off her
shoes. It felt almost wicked to run her bare feet over the slightly damped
soil. She leaned back against the
trunk,
her chin
tilted upward, and enjoyed the bright blue of the sky and the rich, lush green
around her.

Seeing Tony with a girl earlier today by the pond
shouldn't have surprised her. He was an attractive man. He always had been. She
wondered how serious he was about this Trish Hollingsworth.

Tony being serious about another woman, despite his
marriage, even despite Ben, was foolishly hard for her to handle. In high
school, she had been the one with other dates, largely to keep Judith happy,
but also, it helped her to know that other boys found her attractive. Back
then, anything that built up her ego was welcomed and sought after,
particularly because she wasn’t close to being the beauty her mother had been.
As Judith had constantly reminded her, she was too tall, too angular, and too
flat-chested.

Tony went out with a few other girls. But even when he
did, she knew with absolute certainty, that she was the one he liked best, and
most wanted to be with. But then high school was a long, long time ago.

Although she thought she had no memory at all of this area
of the park, as she looked around she realized that, in fact, she did. Was that
why she had come here?

The thought was jarring--as so many thoughts had been
since she'd returned to Miwok. For seventeen years she had purposefully put
Miwok and its people out of her mind, but now the memories wouldn’t stop. Her
forehead ached with remembrances she wouldn't let escape.

The first time she and Tony met they had just stared at
each other. The second time they shared
Twizzlers
as
he’d walked with her to class, and after that, it was as if a dam had burst.
She met him in the school library, in line at the cafeteria, at the gym. And
somehow they began talking after school, between classes, at lunch. She had
liked his sensitivity and compassion, and admired his dreams to be a
pro-baseball player. In him, she recognized a kindred spirit with hopes for a
brighter, bigger, more meaningful future than could be found in little Miwok,
California. They would spend hours discussing their plans and ambitions. She liked
the way he laughed and the way he made her laugh. But most of all, she liked
the way he accepted her without condition--her faults as well as her
accomplishments. He made no demands, set no expectations to be fulfilled before
love was granted. Who she was, what she was, had been fine with him. She’d
never been loved that way before.
Or since.