Second Time Lucky (Club Decadence Book 5) (32 page)

“I understand how difficult this has been. I also understand fear, coercion and strong-arm tactics, but if you trusted me, you would have come to me for help. I would have been your first and only response to his threats. Instead, you lied to me and ran from us. That’s what I can’t forget.”

“Or forgive?”

He paused, then laid more truth upon her. “I can forgive what Victor made you do. Check that, forgive isn’t the right word. You were blameless, a child being abused and manipulated by a son of a bitch who held unlimited power. I can’t fault you for his crimes. What I can’t forget are the secrets, hiding your past, no matter how awful was wrong, and you lied to me. Repeatedly. Not little fibs, either. These were purposeful deceptions and major betrayals. You covered up crimes, including extortion of a state judge. If charged, you could be found guilty of collusion, not to mention attempted murder. If you’d trusted me enough to come to me in the beginning, you wouldn’t be in this mess.”

“I couldn’t, Sean, I was too afraid for you to know.”

“Did you think I’d leave you?”

“Yes, and I couldn’t bear to see the revulsion in your eyes when you heard. Like that day in Cap’s office.” Remembering how he’d look at her, with fury and what she’d feared the most, disgust, made tears flood her eyes, burning like acid. No matter how hard she fought to keep them at bay, one slipped between her lashes and rolled down her temple.

He kissed it away. “I didn’t understand what you’d been through, what that bastard—” He paused as his voice broke. “If I could, I would take back all the hurtful things I said.”

“As would I.” Bravely, she met his pain-filled gaze. “I was a coward for running.” She faltered a moment, whispering, “I’m always running it seems.” Inhaling deeply, she shifted back, boldly giving him the truth. “I was stupid for trusting him like I did, I knew better. It was clear he wouldn’t ever let me go, only push for more and more. I foolishly thought knowing the truth would hurt you more than my leaving. I’m so sorry, Lucky.”

She focused on his demands. She’d been his sub before and despite him thinking they were weekend players, his authority had bleed over into their daily lives. She never had a problem with that, because—if she was honest with herself— he wasn’t ever unfair and was never reactionary, and always, even if it had to wait until the next day, the price was worth the reward. Now, the reward was even greater because she’d be in his arms again. Miserable without him for so long, with all of her secrets laid bare, there was no reason to fight it any more. She had a chance to be with him again, to begin anew. How could she possibly say no?

“I’m ready to start over, Sean, under your terms. You’ll be relieved to know that I’m an open book and have nothing left to hide.”

“Good. I don’t think my heart can take any more of your kind of surprises.” He cupped her jaw and angled her face so she had no choice but to meet his eyes directly. “Moving forward, we’ll have full disclosure, Mara. No more secrets or lies, whatever the reason, no matter how altruistic. I don’t care if the president comes to you and tells you it’s a matter of national security, as my woman, you will tell me. Do you understand?”

“I understand.”

“Effective now, I’m in charge. I make and enforce the rules; your job is to obey me. To make sure we’re on the same page, I’ll rework our contract.”

“I’ll sign it,” she cut in eagerly.

His hand caught her jaw. “This is not going to be a warm and fuzzy play contract like before, Mara. I’m going to hold your feet to the fire. I’m never going through the agony of this past year ever again. Got it?”

“I won’t let you down. I promise. I’m going to prove that I can be trusted. I’ll follow whatever rules you decide and do my best to be the most compliant wife and submissive possible. I’ll even tone back on the sass.”

As he searched her face at length, she returned his gaze unwaveringly having meant every word. Surprisingly, he grinned, the seriousness lifting from his face.

“Baby, don’t make a vow you can’t keep. Mara O’Brien without sass is like pizza without cheese, a library without books, worse; it’s like sex without an orgasm.”

“A fate worse than death,” she muttered under her breath, then when she realized what she’d said, slapped her hand over her mouth.

“See, my sassy girl, you didn’t last five seconds.” His fingers slid into her hair threading their way through the silky strands until he cupped the back of her head, anchoring her in place. “What we had before was good, amazing in fact. I don’t want to change that. What I want is open, honest communication. What I will have between us is absolute transparency. No more secrets and lies, Mara. I won’t have it.”

“I’ve learned my lesson over this past year, and will do whatever it takes to fix this because being apart from you is not an option.”

“Damn straight.” He lowered his head and lightly touched his lips to hers. “I want you, Mara.”

“I want you too, Lucky. Now, please.”

With a need that robbed her of breath, his mouth took possession of her. As he did, she spread her thighs welcoming him home. Without preliminaries, he drove inside. Having his naked body against her had made her very wet and extremely aroused, but the breadth of him stretched her long neglected channel to the point of discomfort. She clung to him, welcoming the bite of pain, making it real, not fantasy, tangible after so long, not simply another dream.

Keenly aware of every nuance of her response, he keyed in on the problem. Slowing his movements, he slipped his hand between them, his thumb finding her clit. He circled and rubbed across the nub, the stimulation flooding her already wet pussy to overflowing, allowing him to sink deep.

“Better?” he murmured against her lips.

She wrapped her legs around his waist, taking more of him yet and sighed, “The best.”

Unhurriedly, he reclaimed her, slowly withdrawing before gliding back the same way. He repeated the deliberate motion again and again, until a guttural groan rolled from his chest. “Fuck, Mara. Nothing feels as good as you.”

Mara’s hands rose to his chest, her fingers digging into his pecs, as if she could literally touch the heart that beat so strongly beneath flesh and bone. Love for him swelled in her chest, filling it near to bursting. She gazed up at him, willing him to see.

With his eyes locked on hers, he gradually increased the pace. His hands moved beneath her knees, pushing them toward her chest, spreading her wider. With the new angle, she exhaled with a soft grunt each time his cock tunneled deep. As she felt her climax build, her head arched back and she moaned out her passion.

“Keep your eyes on me, baby. I want to see that gorgeous green as you come.”

Lowering her chin, her green gaze met the purest blue she’d ever seen. She got lost in them as his body propelled her toward her peak. Pumping into her fiercely, Sean moved her beyond it. As her body thrummed with pleasure, the depths of which only he had given her, he slammed into her once more and shouted his own primal release.

Then she did something she only ever did around Sean. Not at five when her grandmother had died and left her to her mother’s neglect, or beneath Victor’s punishing fists, or the countless other painful, humiliating moments in her past did she break. It was only this man; her love for him and the deep emotions he stirred within her that could bring her to her knees. So she cried. Not pretty feminine tears, either. No. Mara didn’t simper and sniff daintily, she bawled, big stuttering snuffles that spiraled rapidly into harsh, ugly, body rocking sobs of pain, regret and relief.

“Mara…” he soothed, rolling with her until she lay on top. “Don’t, baby. We’ll get through this.”

She nodded, weeping into his chest. Through her tears she managed to get out, between sniffles and hitching breaths, “I sc-screwed up b-b-bad, Lucky, but I plan to m-make it up to you. I won’t betray you ever again.”

Chapter Twenty-two

With her hand in his, he towed her along, his strides double to hers as they quickly covered the ground between his SUV and the entrance. Amazed at the number of cars in the lot at this early hour, Mara scurried to keep up. But seriously, it was too early to go shopping.

“What do we need at Walmart at half past the ass crack of dawn, warden?”

“It’s 8 a.m., Mara. Hardly the ass crack of anything.” He didn’t turn back to address her, his head moving from side to side as he scanned their surroundings constantly. For threats, she knew, beginning to search as well, except it wasn’t easy to focus when every stride jarred her leg painfully.

At a near run, it was becoming a struggle. “Sean, please. My leg—”

He stopped and she tried to put on the brakes, but her agility wasn’t what it was and she slammed into him. His arm caught her around the waist, lifting her against his hip until her feet dangled an inch or so off the ground. He bent his head to explain.

“Sorry, but we need to get you inside. I don’t like you being out in the open this way.”

He let her toes touch and once she was steady, he was off again. Soon the electric doors were swishing closed behind them.

“I’d have carried you, but that would have drawn undue attention.”

She nodded her understanding.

“We need a cart.”

As he stepped away, she looked around and was amazed to see the identical Walmart she shopped at in San Antonio. Everything was laid out exactly the same, groceries to the right, clothes and household items in the center, hardware to the left. With a clang of stuck carts, he soon had them on their way, wedging her between his much bigger body and the buggy.

“Lean on the handle. Let the cart take some of the weight off that leg,” he ordered as he steered them both to the left at a much slower pace.

He stopped by health and beauty first, throwing shampoo, body wash, two toothbrushes and toothpaste in the buggy. She grabbed a bottle of conditioner and dropped it in as they passed. The next aisle was hair color where he paused.

“Blonde or redhead?”

Unsure, she blinked up at him. “What?”

“They’ll be looking for a brunette. Pick one.”

Her hand went to her hair as she took in the array of brands and colors. She had no clue. She’d never dyed her hair herself, a trip to the salon one of the few luxuries she allowed herself on her budget. Hesitantly, she grabbed a color only a few shades lighter than her own medium brown. He promptly put it back and plucked a box of red off the shelf.

Plucking the box back out, she eyed the label. “Rich copper. I don’t know.”

“Baby, with those green eyes, you’ll be even more of a knockout as a redhead. Trust me.”

She smiled at the unexpected compliment while he slid the box out of her grasp. He dropped it back in the buggy and with a nudge, on down the aisle they went.

Next came hardware. At first, when he began tossing an odd array of items into the cart, she paid it little heed, but when his collection grew, his intent became clear. Gape mouthed, she stared at the oversized chamois mop, Duck tape, paint stirrers, 25 feet of natural fiber rope, two wooden dowels about two feet in length, and four doubled-ended snap hooks.

She leaned over and gawked at the mop. It looked exactly like a flogger with about twenty short tails. Glancing back at him, she breathed. “You’re not serious.”

His arched brow was her answer. Moving on, he guided her a few aisles over to the kitchen section.

“Your turn. Twenty dollar limit, your choice, but if there isn’t at least one wooden spoon in your lot, I’m putting something back and replacing it. Be creative, we’ve got at least two weeks, probably more, before we go home and toys will help pass the time.”

She stared at him. He merely returned her gaze a moment, then with a hand on her behind, gave her a gentle prod to get her moving down the kitchen gadget aisle.

About ten minutes later Mara’s assortment had been added to the ever-growing pile in the cart. Her contribution included the requisite wooden spoon, a five pack actually, in different lengths. She’d also selected a rubber spatula. Mara was an experienced submissive, enough to know that wood had less give and the more narrow the point of impact, like the bowl of the spoon, the greater the sting delivered. Therefore, the spatula she chose was the biggest she could find, the wide end about the size of her hand. It shouldn’t sting as much as his paint stirrers or the spoons, at least in theory.

After that, in went a four-pack of hot pink chip clips, and a rubberized freestanding paper towel holder. Smooth on one end, the base on the other resembled a flower and unbelievably had a suction cup on the bottom. It was molded all in one piece, so nothing would snap off and get dislodged in embarrassing places. When she dropped the phallic shaped item in the cart, he stared at it a moment, then up at her, his brow arched with interest.

She shrugged. “You didn’t stipulate the items had to be for bondage and discipline.”

“True.” Without further commentary on the purple dildo-esque gadget, although his grin gave away his wicked thoughts, he did some quick calculations. “That’s only fifteen bucks.” He’d then sent her back for more.

Less than a minute later, she returned and threw a bright yellow item in the cart. “Can we go now?”

Sean leaned over and stared at the last item for a moment before bursting into loud laughter. Although it was early, the store was busy and heads turned in their direction, both customers and workers, including a young man of about twenty who was busily stocking the shelves nearby.

“Sh… you’re drawing attention.”

As he doubled over, hee-hawing and convulsing over the handle of the cart, she crossed her arms and stared at him, tapping a toe and arching a brow in annoyance.

“Seriously, Sean. How old are you? Two?”

He stood, wiping his eyes. “I can’t help it. That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen.” Reaching in the buggy, he pulled out her last pick and began reading the package for the Banana Bunker. It was a bright yellow, banana-shaped plastic storage container about nine inches long and two inches wide, the center third was ribbed and expandable.

Watching him turn it over in his hands, she looked around to see if people were staring, feeling sure they would know exactly why she had picked that particular item out. One woman, an attractive forty-something redhead with big boobs, was watching Sean covertly, although not doing a good job of it, especially with her eyes continually darting from his package, to the one in his hand. The stock boy was watching them as well, not trying to be furtive at all, but staring outright. Mara grabbed the package and dropped it back in.