Scars of the Earth (10 page)

She continued through the bushes attempting to ignore the tiny little lives so numerous that they were hard to disregard.

“Cole! Where are you?” She cried out and strained her ears to listen. She heard nothing now. Not her breath or even the sound of her own footfall.

“What the Hell?” She said aloud. She listened again as the ball of her foot contacted the dry earth and not a sound escaped. I’m cracking up; I’ll never find him in this maze if I’ve lost my own mind. She worried.

Fire burned at her chest and she sucked in the breath she had been unconsciously holding to prevent inhalation of the little dancing shapes suspended in the air. She repressed the fear that scratch at her knowing that she couldn’t allow fear to enter her frail body.

The hazardous obstacles of the forest didn’t seem to affect her speed like it should have, but before she could think too much about that she felt Cole’s presence near her.

“Cole!” She shouted but choking on worry, his name came out only a broken whisper.

She closed her eyes and let his presence draw her in like a magnet. She would have felt relief at his nearing if she didn’t feel the overwhelming presence of the mysterious wolf so near him. She ran through foliage not caring enough about the painful scrapes that the branches left behind. Because all that mattered to her in that moment was Cole.

She smashed her way through an overgrown rose bush and ran head first into a meaty wall. Her breath came out in a rush and she tried to recollect it but her lungs didn’t seem to want the air. Her knees gave out as she tried to collect the wind that had been knocked out of her.

Why haven‘t I hit the ground yet? She wondered before feeling the warmth of Cole’s arms around her waist. She opened her eyes and he smiled down at her.

“You had me worried; I thought an army of gorillas were attacking you with all of the screaming going on. I did tell you this was a stealth mission right? By stealth I meant no noise. And that is pretty much the exact opposite of what you have been doing.” Cole jibbed.

He tenderly moved the hair out of her eyes and gazed into them, though she didn’t know why he would want to. She remembered what those eyes looked like when she had seen her reflection in the great wolf’s glassy stare.

“The wolf!” She gasped, still out of breath.

She jumped out of Cole’s arms and put herself in front of him protectively. She spun around quickly and dropped into a crouched position. She was face to face with the great beast. The animal’s large eyes gazed at her curiously. Like the last time she had met the animal she felt at peace.

It has to be some trick. Calm its prey into submission, before making it dinner.

But even as she thought the words the animal shook its large head back and forth sending silvery fur into a dance. It was like no other wolf she had seen. Perhaps it wasn’t like an earthily predator out for a midnight snack. Maybe it was something else entirely. Cole put a hand on her tense shoulder and spoke.

“Amanda, what…” She waved him silent.

“Did the Ancients send you?” She asked.

Again the wolf looked at her inquisitively. He wasn’t looking at her, but gazing IN her knowingly. At that moment she had never felt closer to another being. He was a part of her an extension of her. She saw the wolf’s spirit and it was the oldest that she had ever seen, older than the Ancients even. Its light melted into her pores like falling rain on dry skin. She felt whole and in that moment of temporary bliss she was pulled back to reality by Cole’s urgent voice.

“Amanda, Amanda what is happening? What are you staring at?” He asked.

She took a second to process the question. Then she glanced back at the wolf, her wolf. Or she thought of him that way for a reason she couldn’t understand. Her wolf’s ears were erect and he stood taller than her shoulder lighting the forest like the noon sun.

What else would I be looking at? She wondered.

“Amanda?” Cole smoothed her face with his rough hand. “Are you alright? Did you see something?” He asked her concerned.

His question might have seemed out of place since he was right next to her and could see everything that she saw, but Healers were accustomed to having visions. But I am not having a vision! She watched as her wolf’s fur was tussled by the same breeze that Cole’s loose curls swayed in. She was about to speak, telling him about the wolf that was before them.

Can’t you see the shimmering horse sized wolf? But she thought better of it. She didn’t think that she was crazy. She knew he was there almost more than she knew she was, but she didn’t want to frighten Cole.

He is dealing with enough right now. He doesn’t need to worry about throwing me in a makeshift straight jacket.

Amanda glanced at her wolf one more time just to make sure he really was there. His furry lips twitched into what could only be described as a smile. She shrugged her shoulders still perplexed as to why Cole couldn’t see him or FEEL him. Her wolf’s presence was about as subtle as being hit by a train.

“Nothing, I’m just in shock. I couldn’t find you and I got scared. Which is not the best emotion for me to feel right now.” He hugged her closer to him.

“Why do you say that?” He said.

She remembered the feeling of the darkness within her spreading like fire through her body and shuddered.

“I don’t know if I can explain it right…it’s like the demon’s poison feeds on my fear. I can feel the poison spread and my spirit weaken when I am afraid.” He looked at her with worried eyes like she might turn into a dandelion puff and float away on the breeze.

“Don’t worry I’m here and you don’t need to be afraid. I won’t let anything happen to you, ever.” He paused and looked out at the dark forest. “We should stay together Amanda; I don’t think ‘divide and conquer’ was the best idea you ever had.” He said looking at her with concern. “I think we should stay here tonight, we aren’t going to find anything but injuries in that darkness.”

She made a face wanting to argue, they had to find Madgie. But she didn’t feel like she should argue with him when he was so worried. He busied himself throwing together a shelter that would hide them and help keep them warm. He had said that a fire was a bad idea with Carter out in the forest. It would give away their position from miles away. When he was finished she was amazed with what he had constructed.

He had woven long bamboo shoots into a small dome that was just large enough for both of them to squeeze into. After the shelter took form he left and came back with an armful of wild roses.

Okay, why do we need roses? She thought curiously.

She was going to ask him, but he had started weaving them carefully throughout the shelter before she could form the question.

Wow it’s starting to look just like the rose bushes scattered throughout the forest. She thought.

She walked over to the pile of roses and picked one up. She studied the flower; it seemed so fragile compared to the roses she was used to seeing. The flower had just two layers of thin peddles with a small yellow ball of pollen at its center.

How can two things sharing the same name be so very different? She wondered. She was looking for the best place to weave it when a thorn stuck her thumb.

“Ouch!” She said. Cole laughed and gently took her hand.

“I think you’ll live through this one.” He said caressing her. He turned her hand over and traced her palms. His brow crinkled together as he noticed the strange pattern raised on her skin.

“What is this?” He asked. She looked at her palms were an elaborate design was pressed into her skin. It was too faint to make out all of the detail. Yet for some reason she knew the pattern. She had seen it before.

“I don’t know, It must have something to do with the…” She didn’t know what to call what had happened to her, so she went with the easiest. “Incident. I noticed it a few minutes before I found you.”

“There is so much we don’t know.” He said dropping her hand and going back to work. He stuck the last of the roses in place and she was shocked at how well it blended into their surroundings.

“Wow!” She said. “That is pretty amazing you know?”

“Well I just hope that it does us some good. Come on lets get some rest, we’ll pick our search back up in the morning.” He said. She crawled through the small opening and was astonished at how roomy it felt once she was inside. How did he do this? She wondered. Cole came in after her and threw himself on his back.

“I wish that there was someone to talk to about all of this with, I feel like I’m of no use to you. I have no idea what is going on. I don’t even really know what happened to you.” He said.

“Look at what you have already done.” She said gesturing around them at the intricate dome. “I would still be out there tripping over blades of grass; you have been so much help for me already. I am just sorry for the trouble I have gotten you into.” She said.

“Don’t feel bad, I have wanted to leave the Hovel since the day that they took me.” Cole said.

“Really? I thought that I was the only one that wanted to leave; I mean we aren’t supposed to want to leave. It’s our duty to be there and serve, right?” Amanda asked in a rush.

“Of course you aren’t the only one that wanted to leave. I was snatched away in the night, taken from my family when I was ten years old.” He said angrily. “They say that it is for the greater good and they say that it is our duty, but that doesn’t mean that they can do what they did to us. The Dredging? It’s kidnapping! A Scar hadn’t even taken me yet.” He shouted. “I had two brothers. Did I ever tell you that? One older and one younger, we were so close…” He trailed off.

She was surprised; he had never told her that he had siblings. She knew that he had a family, but he never talked about it much. He had it so much harder than I did. I didn‘t have anything to leave behind. She thought.

“I am so sorry Cole.” Amanda said leaning into him. She wasn’t very good at physical contact, but she had to be near him. She couldn’t stand the pain that he had been through in his life, it wasn’t right. He was too good to suffer, he wasn’t like her.

“Don’t apologize.” He said drawing her into his arms, her body went rigid, but she allowed him to pull her in. “Is this okay?” He asked squeezing her. She wanted to tell him just how ‘okay’ it was, but she was too shocked by the thoughts running through her mind. She tried to remember if she had ever day dreamed about lying wrapped in someone’s arms and she supposed that she had. But she was way off in her day dreams. She dreamt that it would be calm and sort of peaceful. This was, if anything, the very opposite of peaceful.

Her body was hyper-aware in a way that she had never experienced and her heart hammered in her chest as if she had just run a mile. Just feeling Cole’s warm chest move up and down with each breath sent shivers through her that weren’t entirely unpleasant. She guessed that he was feeling it too because she felt his body still, as if he were afraid to move. Then he rolled to his back taking his arm to his side leaving her feeling like the sun had been shot out of the sky.

“I’m sorry.” He said resolutely. Crap I forgot to answer! She screamed at herself.

“No, no, its fine go ahead and snuggle up. It’s cold tonight anyway.” He didn’t hesitate at all, moving as quickly as a kid on Christmas. He threw his arm back around her and the same electricity returned. “I’m just no good at this.” She said quietly.

She rolled to her other side so that they were face to face. The muscles in his arm tightened in surprise but stayed firmly around her waist. She was going to continue talking, but he took her breath away. His large chocolate eyes were so bright and full of excitement. She had to look down before she could speak.

“I haven’t, you know, really ever been touched a lot. I didn’t have parents that hugged me or a grandma that gave me kisses. All I knew was the orphanage, which wasn’t all that bad…until I had what they thought was a mental episode. After that it was Burberry Psychiatric Institution and doctor after doctor pill after pill telling me that everything I saw and felt from these spirits was just in my mind.” She said from under her eyelashes.

“I wonder why Scars started finding you so young. That must have been so terrible.” He said holding her tight.

“I have always wondered why I was so young…but the crazy house wasn’t that bad. I really believed that I was crazy; my mind could deal with that. And I just wanted their pills to stop what I thought were hallucinations. The dredging was way worse.” She said thinking back. “I was sitting alone in my room when the bars fell off of the window and the glass slid up slowly. Two cloaked strangers crawled into the opening and said you’re a Healer come with us…well, you know how the Dredging was.”

“Can I ask you about something Amanda?” He asked slowly looking unsure. She wasn’t positive that she wanted to say yes, he sounded so hesitant.

What could he want to know? She wondered.

“Yes.” She said nervously. He took a deep breath.

“When you left, when you ran away from the Hovel, why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you take me with you?” He asked. They sat in silence for a few moments while she tried to think of what to say.

He would have come with me? She thought in surprise.

“I, I didn’t know that you would have come with me.” She stuttered. He pulled away and looked at her face as if she had slapped him.

“You can’t mean that! All that we had after the day of the dredging was each other. How could you not think of me?” He asked his voice wavering.

“I’m sorry; I never meant to hurt you.” She said.

“Never meant to hurt me? What did you think it would do when you left me? How was I supposed to feel?” He asked his eyes pleading.

“I was only thirteen years old, I felt guilty for wanting to run. I thought that if I told you, you would be disgusted with me. I was disgusted with myself. I felt like a coward and I couldn’t face you. I was running from the very thing that I was born to be, that you were born to be. How could I face you?” She asked turning away from him. They sat in silence for a long time, until he put his hand on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for that conversation to go like that. I’ve just wanted to ask you that question ever since you came walking back into the Hovel.” He said apologetically. “When you came back, I didn’t know how to feel. You left me, like I never even mattered to you. And I was still there; do you know what I went through? I wanted to be mad at you. I wanted to hate you!” Amanda sucked in a breath and closed her eyes willing herself not to cry. “But when you looked up at me, I just couldn’t. Even after two years, I couldn’t.” He said. She turned back to face him. His eyes were moist, but he kept his tears held back.