Scarred Beauty (20 page)

More than she liked to think about, her thoughts
drifted back to Brad. She knew there would come a point where she would have to
talk to him again.

Taking a deep breath, she grabbed her coat from
the door. She intended to go see her best friend. The ringing of the telephone
stopped her in her tracks. Frowning, she waited for the voice mail service to
pick up.

“
This is
Noelle Evans. I’m not in right now, but please leave a message after the beep.”

The sound of the machine beeping kicked in.

“Noelle,
honey. It’s your dad.”
A cough and the sound of
muttering came over the line.
“I spoke to
your friend Bradley, and he gave me this number. He said you two had a fight
and had moved out. Well, I guess I’d better tell you why I called. We want to
see you, honey. Me and your mum. We want you to come home for Christmas.”

A pause and more rustling around.

“I better
go. Take care, Noelle. Love you.”

The click of the message finished. She pulled
away from the door and went over to the phone. She pressed the play button,
listening to the message again. Tears filled her eyes as she thought about her
father. She would have to visit him soon. Sitting down in the seat beside the
phone, she stared at her hands. In the space of two years so much had changed.
She wasn’t the eighteen year old woman who’d run out of her home to get away
from the man she felt was responsible for ruining her life. The relationship
she had with her father had been an excellent one at one point. When she had
gone to school, and after the accident which had given her the scars, that
relationship had been tested.

Seeing her faults with a clearer eye, she knew
what she had to do. She would visit her parents closer to Christmas.

First, she needed to go to the loft to collect
her paintings from Isaac. She had an appointment with a man who was interested
in selling her paintings at auction, but he wanted to see what she had to offer
before he did.

Grabbing her keys from the side by the phone,
she called a taxi and waited outside. The journey to the loft which Isaac had
bought was a long one. Every passing second she wanted to ask the driver to
turn back. She didn’t know if he would be there or not. When the man pulled up
she asked him to wait for her.

“It will cost for me to keep the motor running.”

“Of course.” She no longer expected anything
else. Everyone wanted more money or quicker ways of getting out of paying.
Staring up at the building she squared her shoulders before entering.

At first glance it looked like the loft was
empty. The furniture hadn’t been moved, and her art-work remained in the same
place. On closer inspection she saw that her paintings were placed around the
room, each one in clear view of the sofa.

Isaac sat on the sofa staring at her art work.

“I didn’t expect you to be here,” she said.

“You sent me a text to say you would be taking
your art work, and you think I wouldn’t be here to try and convince you to
stay?” He turned his gaze on her.

“Why would you try to do that?”

“Because I love you, and no matter what you
think that will never stop.”

His words struck deep in her heart.

“I’ve come for the paintings.”

“Then take them.” He gestured to each one.
Opening and closing her hands, she stared at him not wanting to move. After
several minutes passed Noelle pulled herself out of the trance and began to
gather her work.

Isaac sat on the sofa, watching her but not
making a move. When she pulled the last painting off the easel, she felt him
behind her. Spinning around, she gasped as he pressed her against the wall.

She didn’t have time to protest as he slammed
his lips down on hers. The kiss wasn’t gentle or soft but hard and demanding.
At first she denied him, fighting against his hold. All too soon she was
melting into his touch, her lips opening to accept the invasion of his tongue.
Their moans mingled in the air around them. She sank her fingers in the hair at
the base of his neck as he ran his hands down her body. She was drowning in the
sea of his touch, and she couldn’t find a way out.

It would be all too easy to give herself to him,
but what would happen afterwards? He would go back to his life, and she would
return to hers.

Pushing him away, Noelle broke the contact.

“I don’t want this.”

“I can feel the fire of your passion, Elle. You
want me.”

Staring at him she shook her head in denial.
Pulling out of his hold, she grabbed her paintings from the doorway.

“I may still want you, but that all changed when
you weren’t honest with me.”

She pressed the elevator button and began the
journey to the taxi. The meeting with the man who wanted to sell her paintings
was in the afternoon. She checked the time on her phone and decided to go
straight to the man’s office.

The changes in her life were necessary. She took
a quick glance up at the window and saw Isaac staring back at her. The
intensity in his gaze could be seen from where she stood. She didn’t know why
she felt that way, but she did.

She got back into the taxi and drove off. The
desire to look back was strong.

****

Ben waited for Brad at the cemetery where he’d
told the other man to meet him. After his meeting with Noelle, Ben knew it was
only a matter of time until he told Brad the truth. He flicked the cigarette he
was smoking out of his fingers when he saw Brad approaching.

“Thank you for calling me,” Brad said.

“I don’t want to talk. I just want to show you,
so we can move on.” Ben needed to get past the hate and guilt inside him. The
emotions were threatening to destroy him every day. He walked through the
cemetery, past the main gravestones and along some bushes.

Ben came to a stop out one gravestone at the
edge of the cemetery near the fence.
 

“What’s going on, Ben? Why have you bought me
here?”

“I can’t go on with you not knowing about your
past. Our past. The only way we can move on is for me to tell you what
happened.” Ben moved some of the leaves that had blown onto the grave. He
rubbed his hands along the lettering, and once again his heart began to ache.
So many lies had been told over the years, and he hated himself for it. When he
was younger coming out of the closet had never been acceptable. For years, he’d
kept his sexuality a secret from his parents, his work colleagues and even his
wife.

“You came into the bar one night, and we hit it
off. I’d never met anyone like you. You were so confused but yet knew who you
wanted to be. Compared to everyone I knew, you were a breath of fresh air. We
started dating. I know you were young, and I shouldn’t have acted on my
attraction to you. But I did.” Ben ran his fingers through his hair. He was
shaking from the memories of his affair with Brad. Never in his whole life had
he been as happy as when he was with Brad. “We said we’d keep our relationship
a secret. You promised you’d never hurt my wife.” He heard Brad gasp, and he
turned away to carry on with his tale. “I didn’t know about your drug and
alcohol problem. One night you came to club when my wife was visiting. You were
out of control, shouting and bitching. I’ve never seen anything like it. That
night, you told the whole club and my wife about our affair.”

“I’m so sorry….” Ben stopped him from talking.

“She couldn’t cope. I dealt with you, and when I
tried to talk to my wife, she ran out on me. That night, I lost you, my wife,
and my unborn child.”

Brad was crying, and Ben knew he’d broken
through that wall inside him.

“I don’t just blame you. I blame myself. If you
hadn’t walked inside the club I would have remained faithful to my wife, and
she would be alive and so would my child.”

“I don’t understand. Why do you have a wife if
you like men? What did I do?” Brad asked. The tears were endless, and Ben hated
himself for the added pain he was causing.
 

Ben closed his eyes, and he turned away from
Brad. He needed to get himself together. This wasn’t entirely Brad’s fault.

“I’m bisexual, Brad. You’re the first man I’ve
let myself get close to. I never cheated on my wife with another woman, but
with you, I had to have you. My wife died because she heard the way you were
bragging at the club, and she asked me if it was true. I told her it was, and
she ran out, taking the car and drove into a fucking tree.”

“Why is that my fault?” Brad asked.

“Because if you hadn’t come into my life, I
would never have cheated on her. I fell in love with you, and it kills me to
know that inside I’m still fucking happy that you’re alive. If you’d kept your
mouth shut she’d be alive, and I would have you and my wife and baby.” Ben
watched as Brad turned away from him and walked out of the cemetery.

****

Brad needed to get away. He felt Ben was being a
selfish prick after what he’d said. Running his fingers through his hair, he
tried to understand everything that had happened. There was no way he could be
responsible for the death of Ben’s wife.

He fought with his own demons, and he couldn’t
stop thinking that it was his fault. His hands were shaking as he walked back
to the apartment. The paintings Noelle had drawn were up taunting him. He
looked at the paintings and saw the loss of friendship and the added loss of
Ben.

The urge to lose himself in drink was strong.
Ben held him responsible for the death of his wife and child. A part of him was
arguing with the statement while another knew he should have kept his mouth
shut.
 

Chapter Twenty-Three

The taxi driver kept the engine running. Two
years had passed since she had last seen her parents. Staring at the house with
the Christmas decorations made her chest hurt. Not too far from the house, her
dad had had the accident which had altered her life forever.

“Do you want me to keep going, honey?” the man
asked.

“No. I think I’ll stay for a while. Thank you
for taking me.” She handed him the bill. He got out and gave her the cases. She
moved her hair out of the way, the blonde locks reminding her of Isaac. He
loved to brush her hair when she got out of the shower. Shaking her head to
clear the images she thanked the man.

He gave her a warm smile. She waited for him to
drive away before turning back to the house.

The whole street was deserted as a fresh layer
of snow had begun to fall. Walking the path to the front door, her heart
started to pound. Two years didn’t sound like a long time, but so much could
happen in that length of time. The snow crunched under her feet with every step
she took. When she got to the front door, she hesitated on the buzzer.

She turning around to leave and then back again.
Closing her eyes, she counted to ten and pressed the buzzer.

She heard people moving around from inside.
Biting her lip she saw the inner door open, the curtain being pulled back, and
she stared into the eyes of her father.

“Noelle?” He opened the door, and there he
stood. The man who had caused her scarring. The man who had spent a lot of his
time at the bottom of a liquor bottle. The same man stood in front of her as
sober as she’d ever seen him.

“Hi, dad,” she said.

He engulfed her in a bear hug. The tears she
didn’t even know she’d kept inside began falling as he held her and kissed her.

“I’ve missed you so much, sweetheart.” She knew
he was crying. She felt the tears on her neck.

“I’ve missed you, too.” She held her dad as the
years of pain and anguish melted away. He didn’t smell of alcohol. He smelt
like her father with the touch of tobacco and the fabric softener that her
mother liked to use.

“I can’t stay long, but I thought we could spend
Christmas together,” she said with her arms wrapped around him.

“I don’t care as long as you promise to keep
coming back. I’m so sorry, Noelle.” She heard the sob in her dad’s voice as he
spoke.

He pulled her inside, and the rest of her family
began to embrace her. Her mother was there with tears in her eyes. The whole
episode was a crying affair.

Noelle embraced everyone, her heart breaking at
the pain she’d caused many people. Staring at her father, she saw how emotional
he was at the encounter as well.

After some time passed and they asked her how
she was getting on, her father told her cousins to leave so they could catch
up. He took her hands and led her into the sitting room.

He sat in the old armchair where she remembered
sitting on his knee and reading a story to him as she grew up.

“I can’t believe you turned up,” he said.

“How could I not after these past two years?”

“Two years? Is that all it has been? It’s felt
like a lifetime. You’re looking amazing. How is everything with you?” he asked.